United We Stand, Divided We Fall

June is Pride month. A year ago, we were banding together to support those lost in the attack on Orlando's Pulse. We were celebrating the announcement that it was legal in all 50 states to marry if you were a same sex couple.

This year, there were no proclamations by the new president about Pride month. There was no acknowledgement of Pride at all. I understand that since the election, there are a lot of people who are still shell shocked by the result. And, that the fear people are feeling has resulted in a distrust of anyone who disagrees with you.

This year's pride should be about coming together. And, unfortunately, what I'm seeing is people on both sides giving in to their fears and taking it out on others. This isn't who we are. And, it accomplishes nothing, except for scattering an already broken group into smaller and angrier pieces. 

Being angry has always been a part of what Pride stands for. The anger has led us to where we are now in terms of LGBTQ Rights. But, we need to focus that anger in the right direction.

Taking your anger out on others for an opposing view is small minded, and what we should actually be fighting against. Because, with all the things that are tearing us apart from the outside, do we really need to be doing it to ourselves as well?  

There are ways to fight the government, but attacking each other, is not the way.  

When I was at this year's pride, I became super emotional, and almost broke down in tears.  This has never happened to me before at any of the pride events I've been to.  I still couldn't tell you what it was that set me off.  Maybe it was the sangria that I had before the parade?  Maybe it was the fact that it dawned on me that I've been single for a year.  Maybe it was the number of people who were there, both in the parade, and viewing it.  Or, maybe it was the realization that by documenting Pride in pitcures of the parade, I was doing something that would have a teensy weensy little legacy in the grand scheme of things.  Whatever it was, it inspired me.  

I don't want to be Cleve Jones, and be an activist for the rest of my life.  But, I also don't want to stand by and watch as we self destruct, and others take away the very things that we'd been fighting for since the beginning.  I need to find the way to be more of an activist.  Find out what needs to be done, and how I can help.  

And, instead of polarizing all of our friends to either be with us or against us, we should all be doing the same.  Come together.  Use your weirdness, creativity, or whatever it is that you have inside you to keep the fight going.  But, use your common sense, and fight for the side of all, and not just the side that you think is "right".  Because, truthfully, when we stop fighting together, for what's important for all of us, we might as well give up fighting for anything.  There's safety in numbers. Nobody said that those numbers had to agree on everything...

So, while you may be scared daily about what's coming down the line, or you may just say, what happens happens, just be the best you that you can be.  Be out. Be proud of who you are.  And know, that just these small acts make a difference in some way, whether you know it or not.  

Happy Pride month!

What Do You Say?

Many years ago, before I got into drag, and before I ever met Dan or Shaunna Rai, I did something that I loved, as an artist and a writer.  I created a comic.  It was loosely based on the lives of people around me, and my personal life.  I say loosely, because in typical soap opera fashion, some crazy things that would never happen did, and some things that I didn't want to have happened, didn't.

Anyway, one of the goals that I had hoped to accomplish, was to show a little diversity in the story.  My character, and his partner at the time, were gay.  Most of the characters based on friends and family were straight, like really happens in the world.  And, one character, I had decided needed to be trans.

The only problem, was that I didn't know any trans people.  So, I didn't really know how to tell a story from their point of view.  To this day, it's the one thing that has bugged me the most.  It's been over a year, since the last time I posted on the Facebook page I created for it.  And, I still want to tell the story of Monica, and her transition to becoming Alexander...Alex for short.  But, I'm still faced with the same issue.  I want to make this the most real story that I've told, but, I need to ask questions about the process, and I really don't know what I can ask and what I can't.  I mean, the general consensus is that you never ask about the genital area...because, unless the person talking wants to talk about it, it's just rude to ask someone about their genitals.

But, how do you ask the questions?  Which ones are okay to ask, and which ones aren't?  And, which ones are just common sense, (in that there are some similarities to coming out as gay, in that most of the trans people who I do know have had a coming out of sorts to announce that they're trans)? Is it okay to ask about the second coming out?  Is it okay to ask about surgeries in general, and the processes needed to get approval?  What's the process like for taking the hormones? Do hormones change behavior patterns?  What do they do to your features? (I mean, I know that they can harden or soften your features, based on photo evidence...) At what point do you discuss your trans-ness with people?  Does it differ from person to person?  How realistic is it for a feminine woman to transition into a somewhat effeminate man?  If and when you began the surgical transition, did you disappear from your home area, and come back after the transition? Have you ever gone back? Would you have surgery without telling anyone?

This is just a short list of my questions, because I'm sure at this point, with half of the questions, I've started to sound like a dick.  I figure I'll stop while I'm ahead. However, if anyone would like to answer, I would greatly appreciate the help.  I want to do justice to a story that I feel needs to be told.  And, I want to do it with a sensitivity that makes Alex's transition not only a good story, but also a learning experience for those who, like me, are ignorant to what is appropriate to ask. I want to bring Alex back to the canvas, since he's technically been gone away on "a tour of the country" for something like 6 years now.  It doesn't need to be an after school special, because the rest of the stories I told have some kind of comedy to them...

It's the end of pride month, and I've been feeling the itch to draw again.  And, to tell stories.  And, to get my story to a point where there's closure for all stories.  And, I need to get some storyline ideas.  Part of the enjoyment I got out of the comic, in the first place, was that I would often ask for ideas for what else I could do.  Occasionally, stories would come out of the air, like the initial story when Jamie tells everyone she has "Gay Pride", and has no idea what that means. But, some, like the Larry, the Paper Bag Killer, Halloween story, were created with help.  The interactive aspect of it, made it exciting for me.  And, quite possibly, that may be the piece that I've been missing. I lost interest because I wasn't having fun.  But, I miss the characters, I miss the work, and I miss the stories. So, a social media presence could be beneficial for me.  If you're interested, the comic is HERE.