Last Friday, it finally became legal in the United States for every person to marry a same sex partner, if they so choose. This is huge.
And, while I wish that I were as thrilled about it as so many of my friends are, well, it's just a thing to me. It doesn't really have an effect on my life...like how Obamacare doesn't really effect me, since I have private health insurance through work.
"But, wait," you're probably thinking, "you're gay. Now you can get married! Aren't you happy about that!?"
Yes. I'm happy that if I choose to marry, that it will be recognized as an actual marriage in all 50 of the United States, and a handful of other countries around the world. But, maybe, I'm a bad gay. Maybe, I'm an emotionless lump, who doesn't see the need to make something legal with the government, if there's even the slightest possibility of it going down the toilet in the end anyway. Without all the legal mumbo jumbo that goes with weddings and the like, it's easier to just walk away. There's no long drawn out court battles. No divvying up the belongings...(although that part for me would be pretty easy. I have a bed, a few dishes, and a bunch of cd's, dvd's and clothes that are mine.)
A friend of mine when I tried to tell him these thoughts on what it all meant, told me that I was too cynical about relationships. I think my response was "maybe you're right." But, what I actually meant was, "Who are you to judge how I feel about this? Were you there when I put 11 years into someone who told me daily that they loved me, who then threw me out like a piece of trash to move on with a guy he was having an affair with while we were still together? Were you there when I started dating again, and found that my naive belief that everyone is inherently good was proven to be...well, wrong? It's not up to you to decide for me if I want to get married...especially, since I did the whole commitment ceremony thing, and ended up losing everything in the end. (Especially my PS2, with Dance Dance Revolution, which I miss dearly.)
If the opportunity presents itself, at some point, my mind probably could be changed. But, for the moment, I'm happy with my life the way it is. A piece of paper, and a couple of tax breaks are not really important to me. I'd rather stay in a relationship working through my day to day crap, and know that if I'm making someone miserable, that nobody is going to be stuck in the system, miserable, for any extended period of time.
I'm not going to have my parents' life. I'm not going to have my grandparents' life. And, I'm okay with that. I want to have MY life. I need to make my own mistakes. And I have to be okay with making the decisions that I want this, or I don't want this. And, just because I don't want it now, doesn't mean I won't want it later...(Ask the freezer...at 9pm, I decide to not eat ice cream, but at 12am, I'm in the freezer, digging out my ice cream.)
Anyway, now that the rant is over, I do want to remind everyone that the ruling in favor of Marriage for ALL is a good thing. And, I'm happy that it happened. It means that my friends who have already been married (Jim and Nelson, Patrick and Brian, Ted and Larry, etc.) and those who are about to get married (Jay and Dennis) can be legally recognized as spouses everywhere in the country, not just where they got the marriage license from.
I was really happy to see so many positive reactions on my Facebook from both my gay and lesbian friends, and my straight friends. With the rainbow filter for profile pictures, I was amazed at just how many people I knew, who were celebrating the decision. I was actually surprised by a couple of people who I didn't realize were Allies.
And, as with everything, there were those who disagreed with the Supreme Court's decision. So many people who posted that they had lost Facebook friends over opposing views on the decision. But, really, if they were really your friends in the first place, it shouldn't matter what they say. The Supreme Court made the decision to be followed, throughout the land. If someone doesn't like it, they can suck it. If deleting themselves or being deleted made them feel better about themselves, is there really anything else we can do? The blissfully ignorant don't want to be taught, because they don't realize that they don't know everything. We can continue to try.
Now that we've won marriage equality though, we can't just sit on our laurels and twiddle our thumbs for the rest of our lifetimes. There are still a lot of issues that we (humanity as a whole and specifically the LGBT community) need to continue to address until things change. We need to continue to educate about HIV/AIDS and make sure that we have resources for those living with it, and those who will develop it, until a clear cut cure has been found. We need to continue to work closely with the Transgender community, to drop some of the statistics that are overwhelmingly sad, such as the murder and suicide rates. We need to teach that it's okay to be different. And, we need to teach that it's not okay to bully...and in doing so, not be bullies ourselves.
While Friday's monumental decision was a step forward for the Gay Rights Movement, it is not, and cannot be the end of the fight.
And, while I wish that I were as thrilled about it as so many of my friends are, well, it's just a thing to me. It doesn't really have an effect on my life...like how Obamacare doesn't really effect me, since I have private health insurance through work.
"But, wait," you're probably thinking, "you're gay. Now you can get married! Aren't you happy about that!?"
Yes. I'm happy that if I choose to marry, that it will be recognized as an actual marriage in all 50 of the United States, and a handful of other countries around the world. But, maybe, I'm a bad gay. Maybe, I'm an emotionless lump, who doesn't see the need to make something legal with the government, if there's even the slightest possibility of it going down the toilet in the end anyway. Without all the legal mumbo jumbo that goes with weddings and the like, it's easier to just walk away. There's no long drawn out court battles. No divvying up the belongings...(although that part for me would be pretty easy. I have a bed, a few dishes, and a bunch of cd's, dvd's and clothes that are mine.)
A friend of mine when I tried to tell him these thoughts on what it all meant, told me that I was too cynical about relationships. I think my response was "maybe you're right." But, what I actually meant was, "Who are you to judge how I feel about this? Were you there when I put 11 years into someone who told me daily that they loved me, who then threw me out like a piece of trash to move on with a guy he was having an affair with while we were still together? Were you there when I started dating again, and found that my naive belief that everyone is inherently good was proven to be...well, wrong? It's not up to you to decide for me if I want to get married...especially, since I did the whole commitment ceremony thing, and ended up losing everything in the end. (Especially my PS2, with Dance Dance Revolution, which I miss dearly.)
If the opportunity presents itself, at some point, my mind probably could be changed. But, for the moment, I'm happy with my life the way it is. A piece of paper, and a couple of tax breaks are not really important to me. I'd rather stay in a relationship working through my day to day crap, and know that if I'm making someone miserable, that nobody is going to be stuck in the system, miserable, for any extended period of time.
I'm not going to have my parents' life. I'm not going to have my grandparents' life. And, I'm okay with that. I want to have MY life. I need to make my own mistakes. And I have to be okay with making the decisions that I want this, or I don't want this. And, just because I don't want it now, doesn't mean I won't want it later...(Ask the freezer...at 9pm, I decide to not eat ice cream, but at 12am, I'm in the freezer, digging out my ice cream.)
Anyway, now that the rant is over, I do want to remind everyone that the ruling in favor of Marriage for ALL is a good thing. And, I'm happy that it happened. It means that my friends who have already been married (Jim and Nelson, Patrick and Brian, Ted and Larry, etc.) and those who are about to get married (Jay and Dennis) can be legally recognized as spouses everywhere in the country, not just where they got the marriage license from.
I was really happy to see so many positive reactions on my Facebook from both my gay and lesbian friends, and my straight friends. With the rainbow filter for profile pictures, I was amazed at just how many people I knew, who were celebrating the decision. I was actually surprised by a couple of people who I didn't realize were Allies.
And, as with everything, there were those who disagreed with the Supreme Court's decision. So many people who posted that they had lost Facebook friends over opposing views on the decision. But, really, if they were really your friends in the first place, it shouldn't matter what they say. The Supreme Court made the decision to be followed, throughout the land. If someone doesn't like it, they can suck it. If deleting themselves or being deleted made them feel better about themselves, is there really anything else we can do? The blissfully ignorant don't want to be taught, because they don't realize that they don't know everything. We can continue to try.
Now that we've won marriage equality though, we can't just sit on our laurels and twiddle our thumbs for the rest of our lifetimes. There are still a lot of issues that we (humanity as a whole and specifically the LGBT community) need to continue to address until things change. We need to continue to educate about HIV/AIDS and make sure that we have resources for those living with it, and those who will develop it, until a clear cut cure has been found. We need to continue to work closely with the Transgender community, to drop some of the statistics that are overwhelmingly sad, such as the murder and suicide rates. We need to teach that it's okay to be different. And, we need to teach that it's not okay to bully...and in doing so, not be bullies ourselves.
While Friday's monumental decision was a step forward for the Gay Rights Movement, it is not, and cannot be the end of the fight.
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