Recently, a friend of ours said to me, "I never know what to say, when I see your posts about what's going on with work and unemployment." The truth is, I don't know either.
A few years ago, after the breakup with my ex, I decided that my social media accounts needed to have a happier vibe...because, quite honestly, I can now see, in hindsight, just how unhappy I was. It lasted a while. I started to post about the things I was discovering about myself. I started taking chances on things that I normally wouldn't have done. And, when Dan and I started to date, a lot of things started to change.
I was being encouraged to do things that I loved. Drawing, taking pictures, writing. I have experienced a ton of firsts. My first professional drag show locally, my first drag show out of state, my first tattoos, and selling my first merchandise. All, major milestones, for very different reasons.
During the time that I've been mostly unemployed, I've come to a couple of conclusions though. My social media feeds have again begun to bring gloom and doom. I'm angry, a lot. And, I'm so over politics, that I can't even deal. I've seriously begun to consider removing the facebook app from my phone, because I'm just over it. For every positive post, that makes me laugh, there are 100 that make me want to punch something.
It's not just social media. Although, that does play a big part in it. I'm in a place of feeling like a failure in my life. My job is a joke, and while I'm trying to find something better, I keep getting rejected. I have far too much time to spend with myself, and that's when all the demons come out to play.
I've used time to do the art thing, and the graphic design stuff. And, while I love doing it, even that's been getting on my nerves. If I'm commissioned to do something for pay, I don't want to be yanked around, waiting to see if I'm going to get paid. By the same token, if I'm doing something for you for free, like a show poster, I need information before I start...because I can make things up...but it's probably not going to be what you want...and putting me on ice, while you decide, is a good way to convince me that it's not worth taking my time for you.
That being said, my blog here, will continue, like it always does. Sporadically. Because sometimes I feel like saying something. And sometimes I don't. And, sometimes I do, but I know that I'm going to hurt someone's feelings if I say what's really on my mind...so I keep quiet.
My Instagram feed Stevedjr (the personal one) is going to have selfies, random crap, and art stuff. The Dragged2Inside Instagram feed is going to continue the way it has been with collages from shows, show posters, and drag related artwork..
The facebook page for Dragged to the Inside is going to remain much like it is...with drag related or trans related or gay related stuff, pictures from as many shows as I can get to...basically what it's always been. And, my personal page....well, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I won't delete it, because I have too many contacts and too much time invested in it. But, I may step away from it for a while. Because, the last thing I want to do, while I'm feeling down, is to bring everyone else down with me. I don't want to be Debbie Downer all the time.
A few years ago, after the breakup with my ex, I decided that my social media accounts needed to have a happier vibe...because, quite honestly, I can now see, in hindsight, just how unhappy I was. It lasted a while. I started to post about the things I was discovering about myself. I started taking chances on things that I normally wouldn't have done. And, when Dan and I started to date, a lot of things started to change.
I was being encouraged to do things that I loved. Drawing, taking pictures, writing. I have experienced a ton of firsts. My first professional drag show locally, my first drag show out of state, my first tattoos, and selling my first merchandise. All, major milestones, for very different reasons.
During the time that I've been mostly unemployed, I've come to a couple of conclusions though. My social media feeds have again begun to bring gloom and doom. I'm angry, a lot. And, I'm so over politics, that I can't even deal. I've seriously begun to consider removing the facebook app from my phone, because I'm just over it. For every positive post, that makes me laugh, there are 100 that make me want to punch something.
It's not just social media. Although, that does play a big part in it. I'm in a place of feeling like a failure in my life. My job is a joke, and while I'm trying to find something better, I keep getting rejected. I have far too much time to spend with myself, and that's when all the demons come out to play.
I've used time to do the art thing, and the graphic design stuff. And, while I love doing it, even that's been getting on my nerves. If I'm commissioned to do something for pay, I don't want to be yanked around, waiting to see if I'm going to get paid. By the same token, if I'm doing something for you for free, like a show poster, I need information before I start...because I can make things up...but it's probably not going to be what you want...and putting me on ice, while you decide, is a good way to convince me that it's not worth taking my time for you.
That being said, my blog here, will continue, like it always does. Sporadically. Because sometimes I feel like saying something. And sometimes I don't. And, sometimes I do, but I know that I'm going to hurt someone's feelings if I say what's really on my mind...so I keep quiet.
My Instagram feed Stevedjr (the personal one) is going to have selfies, random crap, and art stuff. The Dragged2Inside Instagram feed is going to continue the way it has been with collages from shows, show posters, and drag related artwork..
The facebook page for Dragged to the Inside is going to remain much like it is...with drag related or trans related or gay related stuff, pictures from as many shows as I can get to...basically what it's always been. And, my personal page....well, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I won't delete it, because I have too many contacts and too much time invested in it. But, I may step away from it for a while. Because, the last thing I want to do, while I'm feeling down, is to bring everyone else down with me. I don't want to be Debbie Downer all the time.
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