August 3rd is a day that I will never forget. When someone finally let's down their guard, and shows vulnerability, it's not something that you just forget.
Ariel Maranda Gibbs was a friend of Shaunna Rai's, and one of the few performers that I never got the chance to meet. I followed her on Facebook, and heard stories about her, from "Back in the day." She had a very long battle with cancer, and ultimately the morning of August 3rd, was the morning we found out that she had lost the battle.
I was up early, and had to be out the door for an 8am shift in Arundel. I had just grabbed all my stuff to head out the door when Dan came upstairs, hugged me, and told me, through tears. I remember being shocked at the news, and glad that I was there for the initial news, and feeling very awkward, because my hands were full and I didn't know whether to drop everything or continue holding it. (Ultimately I ended up doing the latter.)
Throughout the day, information poured in , and this woman who I never met, began to become a person I felt like I knew. A unicorn, of sorts... I knew of her existence, I had never seen her, but I knew that she was real.
Either that day, or a day or two later, I got a message from Diamond Dunhill asking me to submit any photos or video that I had of Ariel, as Diamond was making a video to commemorate Ariel's life. When I had to tell Diamond that I had never really met Ariel, I realized the enormity of the loss to the community. Ariel was a pageant girl and a former member of the Imperial Court of Massachusetts. She had been all over the country, and was well known.
When Diamond posted her video on YouTube, I had to watch it. The Link is here. Hearing her voice for the first time, and seeing her doing what she loved, was all it took. I broke down in tears, for someone I felt like I knew, through those around me.
When the day finally came for the memorial service, I was a little nervous. It was happening in Boston, and the only person I was going to know there was Dan. And, my biggest fear, was that I was going to be out of place. I don't do drag, and I'm not a trans person, and I wasn't family. So, I didn't really have a place to be there, other than as Dan's support system.
The ride to Boston was uneventful, until we got to Boston. Then, we ended up going by the place. We ended up parking on the opposite side of Boston Common from the church, and walked the rest of the way.
Inside, we sat in the back row. A friend of Dan's, Colby and her wife, Lee, were there with us..so I felt a little less alone. Discussion, before the service went to drag shows, and the lack thereof.
Back in the day, there was a show or benefit every month, and they lamented the fact that things have changed so much over the years.
I realized that I understood hardly anything about the Imperial Court. When a guy came in decked our in full on robe and crown, I instantly did a mind split. First I thought it was totally inappropriate for him to be in full regal dress. Then, I realized that it was part of the pageantry, part of what Ariel loved, and therefore it was totally appropriate.
I came to the conclusion during the service that I am far more awkward in social situations than I want to admit. At one point, a family member broke down, and I almost had to excuse myself so I wouldn't laugh at the dramatic sobbing. And, when Dan broke down, I had a napkin ready, but didn't know how he would feel about a PDA so I rubbed his back, as much to make myself feel better, as to make him feel better.
After the poems, stories and songs, it was time to head out. They had everyone write a message which was tied to a balloon. As we went out, we received a balloon, to release. A number of people who had performed with her, were given tear away robes to wear while the balloons were released. Mind you, these were ruffled robes most in single colors, but a few in rainbow colors.
The balloon release was a nice send off.
After, I faced a fear, and drove around the park, in Boston traffic. That was enough, and I made Dan drive afterward. We went to Club Cafe for the wake, or reception...whatever you want to call it.
We got there, and I got us drinks. Diamond came over, and I had no idea who he was...because I have never seen Diamond out of drag. He introduced us to a queen who had just moved to Boston.
Gigi, a member of the Imperial Court, and the official Queen of Salem came over and said hi. Having been involved in events that she was involved with, over the last two years, I was surprised when she told us that she had just figured out that Dan and I were a couple.
I met the family, and Ariel's husband. It was weird for me, because I never know what to say when I'm in that kind of a position. So I really didn't say much of anything.
Before sitting down, I scoped out the food tables, to see if I would be able to eat anything. Then we sat with Colby and Lee and again chatted about the old times.
Eventually, they left. After, I got kind of an information overload. I forget sometimes how much drag queens talk. I found out from this one, why that one is on a shit list. I found out that this one is jealous of that one. And someone came out to me (in a manner of speaking.) The last being information that surprised me, and I hoped during the conversation that my face didn't betray me.
At last, it was time to go. I made sure we said our goodbyes. By the end of it, my head was spinning with all the stuff that I had heard.
It was a beautiful service for a truly beautiful person, who, regretfully, I never met. Through everything that I saw and heard, I feel like I actually knew her. And I got just a glimpse of how much of a loss her death was to the community, and to her friends and family.
No comments:
Post a Comment