What Does the Fox Say?

When you're out and about and get Friday the 13th tattoos with your closest drag queen friends, there has to be a story...right!?

A photo posted by Steve Dixon (@dragged2inside) on May 14, 2016 at 11:07am PDT

Last weekend was a busy, crazy and fun weekend. Basically, everything that I needed after getting bad news about job prospects.

Friday night, we had the Portland Pride Launch Party. I had been asked to take pictures, in exchange for free admission for me, Shaunna Rai and Miss E,on. At least, that's how it was supposed to work. As with the party last year, I had to walk about three blocks to get there after parking. Only to find out that there was nothing for us...so needless to say, Shaunna wasn't happy.  And, it was my responsibility to fix it.

We ended up paying for our tickets, then got reimbursed. Not ideal, but it worked. The launch party was fun. Shaunna was announced along with Cherry Lemonade and drag king Jack Hardness as the judges for the Pride parade. There were so many performances, and I basically was glued to the camera and didn't really interact with anyone...although, my flame glitter beard did get noticed by the MC and I got a shout out.

The night finally was over and I could put the camera away. A few of the other drag queens were going to Styxx, for drinks, so we went along.

As it was Friday the 13th, it turned out to be a very interesting, fun night.

Shortly after going to Styxx, we were told about a shop that was doing tattoos for $20 for as long as they had a line. So, what happens? A troupe of drag queens descended on Lucky's Tattoos. Gigi Gabor had called ahead to see if they were still open, and when she told them that they would be getting a group of queens coming in, they couldn't turn it down.

So, we left Styxx and walked to the tattoo parlor. Shaunna said she would pay for mine, since I'd paid for drinks. We got there, and they said that they were going to cut off just before I would have been able to go. Gigi, Cherry, Shaunna, E,on and Lady Ginger went to sign their lives away as far as paperwork went. I have been wanting another tattoo for a while, especially since I paid for Dan to get one for Valentine's day. So, when she said they wouldn't be taking any more people, I advocated for myself and asked. And, because I was with the queens, I lucked out.

Since we now had a place in line, we headed down the street to Studio 55. And, we ended up closing the club. So, we headed back to the parlor. Jacinda  (who came in boy form) and I had to run to move our cars so they wouldn't get towed.

Finally, we hunkered down for the night...or morning...since it was like 2am by now. There were still a few people ahead of us. The tv was on, and it was sports. Shaunna complained that queens don't care about sports. The tv eventually listened, and changed to some kind of nature show.

"What the fuck!?" I looked up to see people shoot a hippo, and then butcher it on air. What the fuck, indeed. Once that was over, Wild America, a show from the 80's came on. And, again, dying animals...this time at the hands...teeth of other animals.

Finally, it was time to get tattooed. Gigi was first. When talking about what people were going to get, she had said she would be getting the number 207, to represent her Maine drag sisters. I thought that was awesome. 

E,on got the Deathly Hallows (from Harry Potter).

Ginger was excited, because this would be her first tattoo. She got a diamond, with the number 13.

Cherry got a two for one design. She combined a cherry and a lemon, to represent...well...herself.

Shaunna decided to get a key...on her butt cheek...and made sure everyone knew that it was the key to unlock her asshole. Little did she know that it actually unlocked the asshole in someone else. The guy who was supposed to do her key refused to tattoo her ass. So, she got a cool woman instead. The tattooer had to rip Shaunna's tights to do it. And, admitted afterward that it was two firsts for her that night...the first ass she ever tattoed, and the first drag queens she had ever tattooed.

And finally, I got a fox. The guy who refused to do Shaunna's ended up doing mine. And, I think he took out frustration on me during my linework...it hurt way more than the coloring did.

While the fox really doesn't have a drag related story...other than it was done with five queens in full drag...it does have a story, other than that it's cute and looks like something I would draw.

The fox is kind of a spirit animal of sorts...and the story of why is kinda morbid. I was picking a client up from work, and got behind another car. A fox ran out in front of the first car, and was hit and killed. But, before it died, it locked eyes with me. I've been drawn to foxes ever since.

By the time we were done, it was just about 4am. Which normally wouldn't be an issue...except we were doing the Zumba weekend starting at 9am. By the time we got home to go to sleep it was 5am. I still had to wash off my glitter beard and didn't get to sleep until almost 6. Only to be woken up 2 hours later, for a full day of running, taking pictures at the Zumba retreat.

But, it was so worth staying up all night. Because, I mean, really...who else can say, honestly, that they got tattooed with five drag queens on Friday the 13th? I'm willing to bet the number of people who can, is pretty small.

You're Sketchy...

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff while I've been practically laid off from work.  Mostly stuff in my head, like all the feelings that I don't want to really think about.  At the same time, I've been making some breakthroughs as well.

I've been dealing with an art block for a lot longer than I want to think about.  It hasn't been just a few days or weeks.  It's been years.  But, Shaunna Rai had asked me if I would draw up a cartoon logo for the "Shaunna Rai Brand," now that she has merchandise available.  So, I did.  I'd tried to draw this logo for a while, and could never get the idea in my head to translate to paper, and actually look at all like Shaunna.  So, I had written it off as my just being a crappy artist with no original ideas in my head. (You know, because that's what you do when you can't get something to work...isn't it?)

So, getting through the whole drawing, and having it be approved as actually looking right, I was excited.  My drawing was going to be on a t-shirt.  The expectation was that it would probably be only on one t-shirt, because, well, that's how things tend to go in my life.  So, when it went live, and there were a couple of orders for it, I was really excited.  People were wearing something that I drew.  And, I didn't have to pay them to do it, or talk them into it or anything.

As soon as I posted the final product for Shaunna's stuff, I got requests from other people to do drawings of them.  I'm going to have my artwork potentially given out in Boston for Pride for promotional material.  I'm in talks with a queen from Tampa to do a portrait for her.  I've got a couple of potentials in the works as well.

So, once I got Shaunna's line of merch going, I figured it was time to try again, to launch my own line of stuff.  I've got a shop through Teeblaster, and another through CafePress.  I'm looking for ways to branch out, and offer more than just t-shirts.  But, it's been exciting to be able to get my artwork seen by the internet world...even if my mom is the only one who's buying my line of work...The point is, I'm trying to do something new, in hopes that it will help me in the long run.  I just need to get a better grasp of how to market through social media.

But, the point is, that I've broken through my art block, and, I look forward to drawing again.

And, if you know of anyone who may be interested in having me do a portrait, for them, shoot me an email at Swd88880@yahoo.com.   

Why DON'T You Do Drag? or I Just Want to be Pretty

Me, with no makeup, no padding, and gym sock boobies.

Back in February, during the Open Hearts/Broken Hearts show, Chris, the director of the show, asked me why I don't do drag.  He was surprised when I told him that I had done it before, and then again asked me why I don't. 

At the time, I had a stock answer.  I'd been growing my beard since November.  Doing drag would mean shaving it off, and then I'd have to go through the 3 1/2 weeks of itching and wanting to tear my face off.  So, there was no way that I would put myself through all that, just for a show that might last a couple of hours.

I guess it was an acceptable excuse, since he didn't pursue it any further.

But, Chris isn't the first person to have asked me why I don't do drag, and most likely won't be the last.  Cherry Lemonade asked me about it, the same night, and almost died when I showed her pictures. 

"Well, why not," she asked.  "Well, you know, the beard, and everything.  And, I don't really perform.  I can sing, but I sing for myself.  I can't dance...(I'm so white that I dance with my shoulders, and that's about it.)

Mathu Anderson, the face behind RuPaul's face.

It's all been excuses though.  The truth is, Drag is a ton of work. While I may be able to lip sync with the likes of Jujubee, because I know the songs, I know nothing of makeup, and padding, and building a body.  (Plus, Dan had said at the beginning of our relationship that if I ever decided to become a drag queen, our relationship would have to turn to a friendship, because he doesn't date other drag queens.)  I'm lazy enough that I don't want to have to go through all the work of getting all dolled up for something.  Or, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

The last couple of weeks for me have been a mess.  My job as a temp agency person has been less than helpful in getting me hours.  And, so I've been spending a lot of time at home, thinking. People always tell you to do what makes you happy.  The last couple of months, I've been more or less miserable at work.   A job that I used to enjoy now leaves me longing for something more. It's time to make a move...it's just a matter of figuring out what that move is.

Having dealt with depression for most of my life, I can tell that part of my problem, is that my depression is back, and not under control.  (In part, I assume, due to the stress of never knowing if I'm going to have any hours, thus never knowing if I'm going to have money for bills.) And, I've been trying to release some anger toward people who have moved on to the next life, of their own volition.  It's an anger that I didn't even know was there, until a few days ago.  And, so of course, the resulting facebook post, on my personal page, came off like a suicide note, and I got a ton of messages from it, making it feel like I had done something bad, by writing it.  When, in fact, it was done to release feelings, and not as an actual, "I'm fishing for likes and comments," post.  But, over the past week or so, I've been dealing with the idea of mortality.  And, the finality of death. 

So, why am I telling you all this?  Because, well, I'm still trying to process some things on my own.  And, writing about it usually helps.  And, because, it ties in, eventually, if you stay with me. 

Drag, has given me a voice, both as a writer, and as a photographer.  This blog, is my way of discussing drag.  And, the shows that I attend, give me both something to photograph, and something to write about.  Cherry Lemonade told me last summer, (a sentiment that Shaunna Rai has repeated since) that I fill a niche, and my blog is important to the performers themselves.  (At least sometimes...I've had a few get pissed off at me because when I've written about performances, they didn't get much coverage, because they didn't really stand out all that much.) I give the performers a view of what they did, that they don't normally get...because people tend to be like, "OMG, You're SOOOO Awesome.  You're my FAVE drag queen, ever." And, I'm real about it.  If you were good, I'll let everyone know how good.  If you're bad, I'm going to skim over the bad parts, because my goal is to tell what I see, NOT to hurt anyone's feelings.

Bearded Ladies can be Beautiful too!

Of course, living with Shaunna Rai, I have full access to outfits, makeup and hair, any time that I want.  But, I haven't taken advantage of it, ever, with the exception of Halloween, because I don't want to be a pain in the ass.  That being said, I've often wondered what I would actually look like, if I went full on drag queen...And,in spite of RuPaul's Drag Race's bearded lady challenge last season, I haven't really been keen on bearded drag.  Just, because I hadn't really seen much of it that really impressed me much.

Last night, I may have become enamored of the look of a (new to me) bearded queen.  Hellvetika, along with Mathu Anderson changed my mind about bearded drag.  Of course, there are good makeup artists, and there are not so good ones.  The two of them, though, are top of the line, in my book.  I'm not saying that I'm planning on being dragged out of the closet, as a bearded queen any time soon.  God knows, I can't afford it right now, on my will I work this week budget. But, it's not totally ruled out anymore.  At least not as long as I can manage to get away with looking ok, and not looking like a pot-bellied bald guy in a sausage casing dress.

So, no promises, but, if you see a bearded lady with a camera, lip syncing with the rest of the queens, it could be me...Maybe...

I just wanna be pretty.

Shaunna's T-Shirt Shop

Shaunna Rai Sublimation Tee

While I was on my brief hiatus with the blog, Shaunna Rai and I have been working on some projects... the most important, being that she is now working with Drag Queen Merch, and is selling merchandise through their store.

Shaunna Rai's Sunglasses Tee

This has been kind of a big deal to me, because, quite frankly, it's something that I've been trying to make happen for a couple years...and, because I was the one to get in touch with them, ask them the questions to get the answers needed to make it happen, and because, essentially, all the artwork involved in the shirts went through me (and photoshop).  We started off small, knowing that we can always add to the store.

So, if you've ever wanted to get yourself some Shaunna Rai merchandise, or a printed version of one of my photos, go to the store, HERE, and order away! And, keep a lookout, because there will be more in the future...including at least one drawing that I will be doing of her...and potentially, down the road, she'll have a fan art contest for a t-shirt design as well...we tried once, but only really got one piece of art.

Both of the designs shown are also available as tank tops as well.

Who Cares About History?

A fight is being fought between Facebook and the drag and trans communities. People on Facebook have been reporting drag queens and trans people, interchangeably, for having fake profiles. When the original battle lines were drawn with Sister Roma and Facebook on opposite sides, it was potentially going to effect my world eventually. But, it hadn't hit anyone in the Maine drag community that hard.

I now understand the reason why Sister Roma fought so hard, and has continued to fight, and increase awareness that this is happening.

Over the last few weeks, the trend has hit the state of Maine.  And, many of them are starting fresh with like pages, because some douchebag decided that it would be fun to start screwing with people.

I have thoughts on who and why, but I will keep them to myself, because I have no proof. But, the fact of the matter, is, a lot of drama has been going on in show casting for a couple of upcoming shows. People have gotten mad at each other, and then, in an odd timing incident, people started getting reported to the Facebook police for having fake accounts. Over the last week, I have watched a majority of my friends try to fight to keep their names.

It all came to a head, last night, when I was on my way home from work. Then, it really hit home. I stopped to pick up a couple of things at a convenience store on my way to go pick up dinner. In the 10 minutes or so it took for me to go from one to the other, Shaunna Rai had posted something, and then, been reported and had her page removed for identity theft. Dan's page had been reported for identity theft as well, and he very nearly lost both accounts. So, when I went to look at the tagged post, it was unavailable. (At that point, I still had no idea that anything was going on.)

I picked up dinner, and went home. I was greeted at the door, with a slew of information, and a lot of misplaced anger and hostility. None of it was directed toward me, at least. But, taming Shaunna or Dan when they're angry is a feat in itself. Calming both at the same time...Good luck. It's pretty much impossible.

We ate, while I let Dan vent about what had happened. When it became clear that Shaunna's page was no longer even viewable, things began to sink in, for me.

Shaunna's career spans more than 20 years. Every picture that she had or had been tagged in has been lost. Every poster...gone. Every conversation she had going in regards to upcoming events was lost. It was like, in a matter of 10 minutes or so, Shaunna had been lost in a fire. Every bit of online history on Facebook is gone...and nobody had any way of contacting her, and she had no way of letting her almost 5000 followers know what had happened.

So, the best chance of getting Shaunna Rai back up and running, was to create a like page for her. Because she was trying to put out spot fires in group and individual chats, and was pissed off enough that she could have spewed forth fire if she had tried, she didn't really want anything to do with the creation of the new page. So, it fell to me to get it all set up.

Fortunately, with the blog being a like page, I more or less knew what needed to be done to set up Shaunna's new page. Then, it was up to me to show Dan how to run the page from both the computer and the page manager app on his phone.

There are a few things that I know he's going to hate about it...first and foremost, the fact that they seem a lot less interactive than, say, your average personal page. And, you have to remind your audience to click for notifications to be alerted when something new is posted.

But, there are also things I think he's going to like about it. Biggest is that you can schedule posts ahead of time, so you can have your page running even if you're not around. (And, if he agrees to it, I can become an admin, and fix up some of the typos on the page, so people can't claim that they need a translator.)

However, even with the new page, unless we can get in touch with everyone whose pictures were on Shaunna's old page, that part of her history is gone. And, she's not the only one. Cherry Lemonade was the first Maine Queen to lose hers. Prodigy Diamond, Sheneeda Diet, Shaunna Rai and Envy Chanel have all had to start fresh. And, a number of others are still in the midst of fighting to keep their names and histories.

The reason I started this blog was as a way to keep track of the history of Maine drag since I became a part of that world. But, unfortunately, that only goes back 4 years. Anything prior to that is gone.

I don't usually get angry, but this really has me pissed off. I don't get violent, but I want to hit stuff or people. I want to make whoever did this understand that this was in no way okay for them to do. I want them to understand that if I find out for sure who it was that they will be called out as a traitor, publicly.

Whoever it was that did it, obviously doesn't care about friendship. They've earned themself a spot in the special hell created for drag performers who caused themselves to be iced out by every other performer in the area. I hope it was worth it to you.

Aww, Shoot

Since the Christmas Show put on by Golden Goddess Productions, Shaunna Rai has taken a new queen under her wing.

Mizs Queery was the protégé of Brystal Kreme. During the evening of the show, she showed how interested and eager she is to learn the craft. And, during her duet number with Brystal, Mizs Queery actually overshadowed Brystal (in my opinion). Queery just came off as having more energy and enthusiasm during thr number. I don't really know what happened after, but it appears that Queery is kind of on her own...orphaned from her "drag mother."

So, last night, Shaunna walked Queery through painting her face, in the Shaunna Rai look. I spent the afternoon running around doing car stuff, so I missed the full tutorial. Shaunna would do one half of Queery's face, and explain what the technique was, and then it was Queery's turn.

Watching it happen, as it always is, was kinda cool. And, seeing the process, and then the final result was fun.

Halfway through painting, Queery went (in part face) to pick up a pizza at Little Caesar's. We ate and then they finished up painting.

Finally, it was my turn to have a photo shoot. (Since Dan/Shaunna Rai had just done one on Friday.) I watched Lauren on Friday, to see what a professional does with a model...since Shaunna is always saying that I'm horrible when it comes to directing a model. (Mostly, because I don't really have a clue.)

Anyway, we got Queery into the garage  (where the best lighting is, and where I had tacked up a sheet on the wall for a backdrop.) Shaunna gave a couple of pointers for how a model should stand, and that kind of thing. And, for the first time, it kinda clicked on what I needed to do as far as directing poses.

Because the temperature was so cold, I didn't want to make Queery stay out any longer than necessary,  so when I thought I'd gotten a few good shots of her, we ended it. She washed it all off, and went home. And, I started my editing.

There was very little need for retouching, although there was some...blemishes and a spot on the shirt, where you could see the inner workings of how the blouse was put together. Mostly it was just playing with the contrast and brightness, to get it to look right. I did okay, I guess, because people like the pictures I posted.

However, I spent a good part of the next morning looking over them, myself, and going on my self imposed critique, which consisted of tearing them apart.  Mainly, it's a matter of needing to play around with the lighting a bit. My biggest issue with the pictures was the lighting in the eye area. It's too dark, and I couldn't figure out how to lighten just that area, so you could actually see her eyes.

I'm looking forward to the next shoot, in hopes that I can figure out a few new techniques to make things even better.

Update #1: What Do You Mean?

So, I posted the other day, that I was really looking forward to a show, that seemed to have been cancelled.  It was a show that would get Shaunna/Dan and me out of the state of Maine for the weekend, and give us a chance to have a mini vacation of sorts.

Over the last twenty four hours, it has been up and then disappeared a number of times.  This morning, I woke up to a post from the host stating that the show was going to be on February 25th, and that they were going to make a long weekend out of the event.

At this point, I'm trying to take it all with a grain of salt.  I don't know whether to believe that it's really going to happen or not.  I mean, with the amount of pay that he's promising, and lodging for the night, I'm not sure how he's going to recoup the money that it will take to lodge the queens, much less pay them, especially, as he is promising to also fly in queens from far away.

I may be totally wrong in assuming that this is all a set up...and I hope that I am.

I'm still hoping for a best case scenario, and that Shaunna Rai and Miss E,on will get their chance to show off in New York for a butt load of girls from across the country.  They work hard enough, that they deserve some recognition.  And, I'll do my part to promote as much as possible.  I just hope that the host gets things figured out, and that the event and his page stop getting deactivated, so that I can truly promote this show, and help make it amazing...because, occasionally, I can be a good ally and promoter.  I'll keep you posted on what's going on.

Keeping my fingers crossed that this is actually going to work out for the best.

Malice in Wonderland

The Screaming Queens show is an important show in my history with Shaunna Rai. I met Shaunna Rai and company for the first time at a Screaming Queens show. And, although she was performing that night, it was technically my first date with Dan, as well. The show itself is a benefit, to raise money for the Down East AIDS Network, and it usually makes a good amount of money.

So when Shaunna said she would be participating again this year, it was kind of exciting. It would be almost like reliving our first date. Sort of. Although, a lot has changed since then.

A couple days before (or maybe the night before, because I don't remember exactly) we made a trip to go see Benni (Miss E,on) for last minute costume fittings. And, as usual I was amazed at what the end result was for each outfit. Even though there was no hair, so I kinda had to imagine what Shaunna would look like in them when Dan was trying them on.

The day of the show, we ran around a little bit. Shaunna was going to do what she did for the Drag Me to Hell show, and buy some shot glasses and have the bar make shots for everyone. (Unfortunately, with the glasses that we found, there weren't enough.)

Finally, it was time to go pick up E,on, and head to Waterville. I made sure to load the address into the GPS, for the drive. And, we were on our way. We made really good time getting into Waterville. So good, in fact, that we had time to go shopping.  We stopped at Mardens, and looked around. We also stopped at Kmart, and again found the shot glassss, but, still too few, since we hadn't bought the ones we had seen earlier.

Unfortunately, for me, the GPS believes that Champions (the venue) is a little dive place on Elm Street. And, in spite of putting in the exact address, I was accused of punching in the wrong address, and screwing up the afternoon. (Needless to say, after that, I was overly thrilled to have come. Note the sarcasm dripping from that statement.) E,on, fortunately got us there. It turned out that I had taken the wrong exit, and that messed everything up. But, in my defense, I was doing what the GPS told me to do.

Once we were finally there, it went pretty smoothly. I unloaded the car, and got the girls situated. We got there early, because Shaunna Rai doesn't do late. Just behind us was Miss JoAnn, in her new RV. Just as she was getting settled in to start painting, with the girls she remembered that she had forgotten her headdress. The Queen of Spades won't look much like she's supposed to if she doesn't have a spade headdress, right?

So, I got volunteered to go with her husband, to Arundel  (on the other side of the state) to go grab it, before the show started. Now, I have known Russ for a few years, because of Miss JoAnn, but, I don't recall ever having heard him speak, much less having had a conversation with him. So, it was going to make for a very long trip.

It was, much as I expected it to be...quiet. I was lost in my head. So, when Russ spoke up and showed me where he and Miss JoAnn had met, I was surprised. Also, by how they met, and the brief history of what it was like to be gay before I was anywhere near ready to come out. 

We got to Arundel, and I had time to shoot out an Instagram update, while he grabbed the headpiece, before we turned around, and I drove like a maniac to get back before the show started. On the ride back, I retreated into my head again, thinking, for most of thr return trip how, I'm sitting with my future in 30 years or so, right next to me. Russ was super sweet. He refilled what we had used for gas in Biddeford, and then had me top it off when we got back to Waterville.

We made it back with plenty of time before the show. I ran over to McDonald's to grab a burger, so I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. (Since I had been warned that if I passed out, I was going to be left behind.) 

I went inside, and got a hug from Paul, one of the creators of the Screaming Queens show, and he told me that he was putting a drink on his tab for me, for making the trip to Arundel. (Being a lightweight drinker, I only paid for one drink for myself for the night.) 

When the doors opened, I led my parents to the VIP tables, that were literally on the edge of the stage. (Halfway through the show, I felt bad, because where they chose to sit, they got to see a lot of the backsides of the queens.) Meanwhile, I was off running around, trying to get great shots and fending off the professional photographers who had been asked to take pictures of the show.

Valerie Honeywell opened up the show, as hostess (and shared it off and on through the night with LaWanda). 

Shaunna Rai opened the show with a mix performance. It was Alice themed music, and very difficult to follow...which, is somewhat fitting, considering the source material. The dress and apron outfit was cute, and Shaunna's giant white bow just kinda made it work. And, Shaunna being the tear away queen, had a dance outfit on underneath. 

Miss JoAnn followed. If I remember correctly, she did a number from Cabaret...which didn't really go with the Alice theme. But, seeing the headpiece in action made it totally worth the drive to get it. The queen of Spades didn't really come across without it. 

The queen of hearts, herself was up next. LaWanda has so much energy on stage, that she exhausts me. Toward the end of her number, her wig fell off. (I'm not entirely sure that this was accidental, so much as it is a way to say, "just so you didn't forget, I'm a man in a dress.")

The Mad Hatter, Miss E,on, was up next. Her song was also a mix, that included "They're Coming to Take Me Away". Totally an E,on number, to be sure.

At this point, LaWanda took over the mic, to introduce Valerie. Valerie came out in a tear away, that I'm pretty sure belonged to Ariel Gibbs, a close friend of Shaunna's, who passed away over the summer. Valerie was the White Rabbit.

ClubKid MizzDiveena, the Cheshire Cat was up next. Her makeup was great. It was a little reminiscent of the skeleton makeup Shaunna had done a week or two earlier, but it worked for the character. 

Valerie came back out, and introduced a couple members of the Down East AIDS Network, to say a few words about what Screaming Queens is all about, and where the money goes, and all that.

LaWanda was back, I'm pretty sure that this number was Juice Newton's Queen of Hearts song. You would think that I would remember, because I was lip syncing to it along with her.

Shaunna was back for another mix, and another tear away, leaving her in a fringe dance outfit.

Miss JoAnn followed, with Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I was actually really happy with pictures I got of this number. Over the years, I haven't been able to get a lot of really good pictures of her, because lighting in most of the places I've seen her at, has been, well, sub par. 

Valerie was up, with her Bunny ears this time. Followed by E,on and Diveena. Diveena brought out the headpiece that she had worn for Dragapalooza last spring. 

LaWanda came out for her final number, which was made more interesting, by a shirtless Paul, with a leather harness and Bunny ear mask, following her around like a puppy dog. 

Shaunna's final number was Pink's The King Is Dead (But the Queen is Alive). Alice got the upper hand, and took off the Red Queen's head...or so we are left to imagine.

Valerie closed out the show, with a little Celine Dion. I was getting tired, and glad the show was almost over, because throughout the show, I had been running back to check on my parents, and then back out to get the best pictures I could. 

At one point during my running, I was stopped and asked if I was Steve Dixon. I thought it was odd, but, I have developed a small following,  so, not that odd. It turned out that the guy who asked was a guy I had gotten a picture of at the Halloween party at the Westin,  and he wanted to thank me for it. 

They opened the floor up for dancing, once the show was over. I started the back and forth of bringing drag bags back to the car. I definitely got a work out, because I didn't find out until the very last trip that I could have saved some energy by going an alternate route, instead of through the main dance floor area.

Finally we were ready to go. We said goodbye to my parents,  and headed to McDonald's,  so that Dan and Benni could get something to eat before we made the trek back home.

It was a crazy night. And I believe,  the final number for funds raised for the night was right around $4000. So, definitely worth it.

You Don't Know What It's Like...

Me as Liz Taylor from AHS: Hotel

Halloween had never really been my holiday, since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I loved it. Dressing up, pretending I was someone else. It was the gay boy holiday. You spend so much time pretending you're someone different, that it's nice to be able to dress the part and get away with it.

I outgrew Halloween when I was about 14. I wasn't popular enough to get invited to Halloween parties. So, I would go out trick or treating with my brother and the girls across the road. And, that was when I found out that I had aged out of Halloween. Someone said, "what are you doing, you're too old for trick or treating." And, that was it.

Dan has asked me every year what I was going to do for Halloween, and every year, I put off making a decision until the last minute, when it's almost too late to do anything about a costume. This year, though, American Horror Story : Hotel happened. More specifically, Liz Taylor happened.

Madame Sheena, ClubKid MizzDiveena, Shaunna Rai, Miss E,on

I've avoided doing any kind of drag, mainly because I know what goes into it, how much work it is, and most importantly, I have worried that I would like it more than I should.  But, the Character of Liz Taylor wouldn't be drag exactly.  When the suggestion was made that I could do her, it wouldn't let go. I wouldn't have a lot of makeup, and could do it myself, for the most part. The wardrobe was simple. The worst part was going to be the shoes.

For the first time ever, I asked Benni (Miss E,on to make me something. I had to have Liz Taylor's flowy wrap thing, in order to make the character believable.

My Minions, Mom and Dad

I spent three weeks walking around in heels that used to belong to Raquel Blake, that were too big for Shaunna Rai. I found out the hard way that falling in heels is one of the worst things in the world. Especially when the heels make you almost 7 feet tall... The ground is a long way down.

Miss E,on

Finally, the night was here. Halloween. Shaunna Rai started her makeup. I shaved everything that would potentially be visible, including my head. Once that was over, it was a matter of throwing on what makeup I would need, and some lashes. I did the lipstick and eyeshadow myself. Dan/Shaunna did my lashes and liner. (We almost glued my eye shut, but, it worked itself out.)

Shaunna Rai

And, it was time to head to Portland. We stopped to pick up Miss E'on and Stephan and his partner, Devin. Devin was excited, because this would be his first drag show. We all ended up squeezed into the back seat of
Stephan's car. The ride there was long. Once we got into Portland,  it became a matter of finding a place to park. And, I got on the wrong side of Shaunna's mood, when I didn't speak up soon enough, because Shaunna couldn't see with her blackout contacts.

I finally found a parking lot around the block, and we were on out way. We got to the Westin in plenty of time. Chris O showed us where the girls would be getting ready. We brought the bags back, and I took Stephan and Devin back out to try to get their bracelets...only we were still way too early.

Chris O

And, given the fact that I was walking around in boy clothes with my face a made up, I was feeling weird, and decided that if the guys were ok, I would go get ready, and change into Liz Taylor. 

Once I was in the costume and heels, it was like I was a different person. I kinda understood for the first time how it was that Shaunna Rai comes out of Dan's mouth once a certain amount of makeup goes on. Nobody really notices Steve. But, everyone was watching Liz. 

Madame Sheena

While I was trying to not kill myself with the 8 inch heels, people stopped me to ask for a picture. Not because I had a camera, but, because they wanted to take a picture with me in it. It was literally one of the most surreal nights of my life.

On my way into the ballroom, to get directions about what was expected from pictures, I was stopped and asked if I would be participating in the costume contest. I hadn't really thought about it, mainly because I was there to "work." But, I figured, "what the Hell, you only live once, and if I stand a chance of winning,  why not?"

My parents showed up, and we're in partial costume. They asked about the bathrooms, so I pointed them in the right direction, and when they came back, they were Minions. Some nice person actually took a picture with all three of us..which I still have not seen anywhere...And, it was a bit awkward. While I've posed with my parents before, it has never been as awkward as it was when I was in the heels. Both of my parents at some point touched my butt.

ClubKid MizzDiveena

We all ended up with VIP bracelets. Which was cool. It meant that I had full access to everything. The VIP area was upstairs, with its own bar, and a bunch of tables. The balcony view of the dance floor was cool, and being above the chandeliers made for some nice pictures. But, I have to admit, I spent very little time in VIP. (Partly because it was hell walking up and down the stairs in the heels and a robe thing that was flowy enough that it would randomly start sliding, if I didn't hold myself just so.)

This was the first event in a long time that I spent completely sober. It was just as well, given how much trouble it would have been if I had fallen... Because, I still almost fell a number of times even without a drink. (My left ankle seems to be weaker than my right one.)

Once the doors were opened, I was dragged into the photo booth by the photographer. I got my one picture, and then went on my way, with camera out and at the ready. And, I did something that I rarely do at these events. I asked groups of people I'd I could take their pictures. And, as Shaunna has told me for years,  they all said yes..because, who doesn't want to pose for a camera? (Aside from me...)

When all four performers were finally there,  I grabbed a group picture of them. (One of the best pictures of the night.) They did their thing, and split up to mingle. Announcement was made of the agenda for the evening and DJ Jodi played music for everyone to dance to until the performances. 

Around 9:30pm, Miss E,on took the stage. About that time, some of Dan's friends from work showed up and said hi to me, before heading to the bar and to try to hunt down Shaunna.

Shaunna was up next, and I was looking forward to the song. Evanescence's Bring Me to Life. I've always loved the song, and when she said that she was doing it, I was excited. The performance went off without a hitch. 

More dancing. More pictures. I was asked by Coraline to get a picture with her. After she left, a couple of the hotel employee ladies took about a bajillion pictures of me on their phones. (More pictures that I have never seen.) 

Next up was the costume contest. Because I was supposed to be doing photos, this was stressful for me. I had no idea how I would manage to get pictures once I was on stage. Fortunately, waiting until last to go up, and being in one of the last categories, I didn't have much to worry about. Well, aside from the fact that I had been in heels for almost 3 hours, and my feet hurt and my legs were starting to get shaky.

Going up, I introduced myself as Liz Taylor, and when asked "and what are you?" I made a joke..."I'm dying to get out of these heels." The audience laughed. Unfortunately,  I was not fabulous enough to win the fabulous category. (Although, it made me feel good later, when someone told me that I was robbed, and should've won in my category.)

I totally agreed with the judges' decision that Medusa won overall. Ashley's costume was amazing. 

After it was over, I had to get rid of the heels. Literally, the pain on my feet and the wobbliness in my legs was making me sick to my stomach. I went and found our friends from the salon, and a lady, who I don't know, helped me take my shoes off. (I almost fell when I tried to do it myself.) I have a total new respect for women, who wear heels all day. And an even greater respect for drag queens, who, not only walk around in heels, but also dance, kick and do splits in heels.

Madame Sheena was up next for performing. I can't recall the name of the song. I want to say that it was from something called the Littlest Witch. Something like that.

ClubKid MizzDiveena was the final performer of the night. I knew due to her Jack Skellington costume that she had to be doing something Nightmare Before Christmas related. And, she didn't disappoint. She did a whole number to "This is Halloween."

The rest of the night was dancing. Shaunna and I caught back up with the group from the salon. Then, it was time to get changed and head out. We stopped and said goodbye to my parents. And, then it was back to the car, to head home.

On the way home we stopped at Burger King. We went inside, and I don't think that the people at the counter knew quite what to make of us. Two guys, two guys with makeup,  and Miss E,on, in full drag.

It was a great night. I has so much fun. And, I stepped so far out of my comfort zone, that it wasn't funny. But, I got an understanding for the first time, first hand, of what it's like to be a drag queen, and to get all of the attention. I would be lying if I didn't say that I actually of enjoyed the attention. I understand the draw to doing drag now. And, I'm not as immune to it as I once thought.  (But, once a year for Halloween, would be more than enough for me...since I don't perform. I can lip sync with the best, but I would be a very boring queen to watch.)

You're a Unicorn, My Dear

August 3rd is a day that I will never forget. When someone finally let's down their guard, and shows vulnerability, it's not something that you just forget.

Ariel Maranda Gibbs was a friend of Shaunna Rai's, and one of the few performers that I never got the chance to meet. I followed her on Facebook, and heard stories about her, from "Back in the day." She had a very long battle with cancer, and ultimately the morning of August 3rd, was the morning we found out that she had lost the battle.

I was up early, and had to be out the door for an 8am shift in Arundel. I had just grabbed all my stuff to head out the door when Dan came upstairs, hugged me, and told me, through tears. I remember being shocked at the news, and glad that I was there for the initial news, and feeling very awkward, because my hands were full and I didn't know whether to drop everything or continue holding it. (Ultimately I ended up doing the latter.)

Throughout the day, information poured in , and this woman who I never met, began to become a person I felt like I knew. A unicorn, of sorts... I knew of her existence, I had never seen her, but I knew that she was real.

Either that day, or a day or two later, I got a message from Diamond Dunhill asking me to submit any photos or video that I had of Ariel, as Diamond was making a video to commemorate Ariel's life.  When I had to tell Diamond that I had never really met Ariel, I realized the enormity of the loss to the community.  Ariel was a pageant girl and a former member of the Imperial Court of Massachusetts. She had been all over the country, and was well known.

When Diamond posted her video on YouTube, I had to watch it. The Link is here. Hearing her voice for the first time, and seeing her doing what she loved, was all it took. I broke down in tears, for someone I felt like I knew, through those around me.

When the day finally came for the memorial service, I was a little nervous. It was happening in Boston, and the only person I was going to know there was Dan.  And, my biggest fear, was that I was going to be out of place.  I don't do drag, and I'm not a trans person, and I wasn't family.  So, I didn't really have a place to be there, other than as Dan's support system.

The ride to Boston was uneventful, until we got to Boston. Then, we ended up going by the place. We ended up parking on the opposite side of Boston Common from the church, and walked the rest of the way.

Inside, we sat in the back row. A friend of Dan's, Colby and her wife, Lee, were there with us..so I felt a little less alone. Discussion,  before the service went to drag shows,  and the lack thereof. 

Back in the day, there was a show or benefit every month, and they lamented the fact that things have changed so much over the years.

I realized that I understood hardly anything about the Imperial Court. When a guy came in decked our in full on robe and crown, I instantly did a mind split. First I thought it was totally inappropriate for him to be in full regal dress. Then, I realized that it was part of the pageantry, part of what Ariel loved, and therefore it was totally appropriate.

I came to the conclusion during the service that I am far more awkward in social situations than I want to admit. At one point, a family member broke down, and I almost had to excuse myself so I wouldn't laugh at the dramatic sobbing.  And, when Dan broke down, I had a napkin ready, but didn't know how he would feel about a PDA so I rubbed his back, as much to make myself feel better, as to make him feel better.

After the poems, stories and songs, it was time to head out. They had everyone write a message which was tied to a balloon. As we went out, we received a balloon, to release. A number of people who had performed with her, were given tear away robes to wear while the balloons were released. Mind you, these were ruffled robes most in single colors, but a few in rainbow colors. 

The balloon release was a nice send off.

After, I faced a fear, and drove around the park, in Boston traffic. That was enough, and I made Dan drive afterward. We went to Club Cafe for the wake, or reception...whatever you want to call it.

We got there, and I got us drinks. Diamond came over, and I had no idea who he was...because I have never seen Diamond out of drag. He introduced us to a queen who had just moved to Boston.

Gigi, a member of the Imperial Court, and the official Queen of Salem came over and said hi. Having been involved in events that she was involved with, over the last two years, I was surprised when she told us that she had just figured out that Dan and I were a couple.

I met the family, and Ariel's husband. It was weird for me, because I never know what to say when I'm in that kind of a position.  So I really didn't say much of anything.

Before sitting down, I scoped out the food tables, to see if I would be able to eat anything. Then we sat with Colby and Lee and again chatted about the old times.

Eventually, they left. After, I got kind of an information overload. I forget sometimes how much drag queens talk. I found out from this one, why that one is on a shit list. I found out that this one is jealous of that one. And someone came out to me (in a manner of speaking.) The last being information that surprised me, and I hoped during the conversation that my face didn't betray me.

At last, it was time to go. I made sure we said our goodbyes. By the end of it, my head was spinning with all the stuff that I had heard.

It was a beautiful service for a truly beautiful person, who, regretfully, I never met. Through everything that I saw and heard, I feel like I actually knew her. And I got just a glimpse of how much of a loss her death was to the community, and to her friends and family.

Remembering the Underground

In the grand scheme of things, in terms of the gay community,  I'm about preschool age as a gay man. Looking back on my life, I find that by settling down at 19, I missed out on a lot of the "scene", during my 20's and very early 30's. There is so much history that I have been learning about Portland's, Lewiston's, Augusta's and Bangor's gay history. And, now, there is only Portland left with any semblance of a gay bar, until you head south.

Miss JoAnn

So, when the announcement was made that Styxx was going to host a show called Remembering The Underground, it was one I wanted to go to. The premise, being that years ago, the space now known as Styxx was another business, called The Underground (fitting, as the club/bar is in the basement of the building, therefore it is Underground).

Back in the day, they had shows there all the time. Queens from Boston would come and perform. There was always a line around the corner, just to get in.

This was going to be a #throwbackthursday on a live stage. The queens would be performing music from the '90's and reminiscing about the old days, and some of the Queens and Kings who have either stopped performing by choice or have passed away.

Madame Sheena

For the first time I got kind of snotty about posters. I designed and redesigned, to totally different specifications the poster. I promoted on my own pages. And the performers either didn't share it at all, or literally just hit the share now button on Facebook, and didn't give reasons why anyone would want to go. I took out frustration on everyone, and feel the need to apologize.

The night itself was going to be fun. Both Miss E'on and Leanna Love, ended up being in the show as two other queens had canceled at the last minute.

And, Dan's daughter was going to be there, and get to see Shaunna Rai perform for the first time...aside from at a hair school show. Other than a little chit chat on Facebook, I hadn't really had much interaction with Logan so, I was looking forward to it.

We got to the bar, and I took the bags to the back, as usual. Miss JoAnn was already there. She greeted us warmly, and said something about her age, in response to something Leanna had said about being too old. (Miss JoAnn, I think is the oldest drag queen I know.)

Danielle Dior

Once things were squared away, I went to get Shaunna and myself something to drink. I may have gotten a little snippy with the lady at the door, when I went back to give Shaunna her drink...I drove with half the performers, with no gas money involved, and you're going to charge me a cover? (I now see that I'm just as bad as the rest of the people I complain about. I've been given too many free entries, for being the driver, that it has gone to my head.) And, I learned my lesson. When I'm already in the back, for a show, just wait until the back bar opens...

DJ ChrisO started the music, for the night, and in a way I was transported back in time. The music was the music that was new when I was finishing high school, and starting art school. (In other words, the soundtrack to my coming out.) Whitney Houston's It's Not Right came on, and I literally flashed back to my first time ever in a gay night club, in Philadelphia, at Woody's, when I was just over 18.

Leanna Love

The show started, and Madame Sheena started off the introductions.  Shaunna, E,on and Leanna paid homage to a group of girls that Shaunna used to perform with (the ISG...International Show Girls, who used to perform on the Scotia Prince cruise, back in the day.)

Miss JoAnn was introduced, and a joke was made about her having been performing since 1912...she really isn't that old...I got some great shots of her. Her Somewhere Over the Rainbow was a great number. It's one of my favorite songs, and it just fit for her to do it.

Barbara Streisand made an appearance. Oh, wait, no, that was Madame Sheena.

Danielle Dior, who is a former Miss Gay Maine, and was a fixture in The Underground days, hosting both the shows and Strip Night, did a number.

Shaunna Rai

Leanna, who I normally have a hard time getting good pictures of, did a version of Fever, by Madonna, and I got a few really good shots of her too.

Somewhere in between numbers, I saw our friends Andrea and Dana. I talked to Andrea a bit about a game that I'm excited to see come out, and she talked about someone that she was kind of seeing, having invited her to go to some kind of gamer convention in Boston. Dana asked me if it would be ok for him to put a dollar bill in his fly for tipping Shaunna. I never know what's appropriate until afterward,  so I gave my blessing...only because I know he wouldn't do anything bad.

E,on did her number,  which, for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. The one thing I do remember, was our friend Steve giving her a tip...in his teeth, and the huge grin on his face after. This is what shows are supposed to be about. Having fun.

Miss E,on

The thing I was most looking forward to, was the banter about the back in the day queens, who are no longer around. We reached Donna Summer's Last Dance, and the banter was not there. I knew little more about the old days than I did before I went. That was my only disappointment from the show.

The show was over, and the queens were heading back to pack up. Shaunna was still socializing, and introduced me to a couple, who asked if I could take a picture of them. They had met at The Underground, years ago, and wanted a picture, to commemorate it.

Finally, we were on our way home. The trip home from Portland seemed so much shorter than it did when we were in Portland after driving from Portsmouth.

Midsummer Night Queens: Week 3: BenDeLaCreme

I waited a year for the second installment of Midsummer Night Queens shows. I was most looking forward to the final show, for two reasons. One, was that initially, Katya was supposed to be a part of it. And, two, was that when Katya was unable to be there, and it was BenDeLaCreme, I felt like it was a second chance of sorts, for me to make a better impression.

When Ben came to Portland for the BOTS Tour, I felt afterward a little like a creeper, because when we stayed for the "after party" at Styxx, I went into my "I'm a superfan, and don't know what to say, so I'll say nothing and just watch and take everything in," creeper mode.

And, after two days prior of shows, I was ready to get it over with...and was so excited I could pee.

Since we got in early from the Cancer Schmancer show, I felt like I actually got enough sleep, for once.  And, due to the traffic the previous two shows, we decided that the best thing to do, would be to leave early.

So, when Dan/Shaunna Rai got a text halfway to Portland, on our way to pick up Cherry Lemonade, saying that the show had been canceled, I didn't believe it. Like, I seriously thought that it was a joke.  Until I got the details...a pipe had burst at the Seacoast Rep Theater. The matinee show of Avenue Q was canceled. The water had bathed the lighting system, so it was all unusable space.

Given the fact that BenDeLaCreme had been flown in, it seemed like an impossibility for the show to not go on in some way. How much money would've been thrown down the toilet, if the theater lost money on BenDeLa,  and on tickets that needed to be refunded? It just made sense for the show to move venues...which was exactly what ended up happening.

During lunch with Shaunna and Cherry, I did what I do. I took to the social medias and started promoting the new location, in every way I could think of. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr all got some version (pretty much the same version from Instagram ) of the information..."The show has been moved, here's the new location, hope to see you there." I more or less figured that this was a lesson in futility, but I needed to do what I could to make sure that everyone I knew who was coming, would know where to go.

After lunch, we headed to the Rep, so that the girls could paint, as the space at the new venue was going to be too small for everyone's stuff. There was so much going on that the conversations have all melted together in my memory...although, I do remember talk of Rocky Horror, which was how Cherry and Bunny Wonderland met.  And, Mimi Imfurst was also around back in those days.

I ran upstairs, as the bar was open, and the girls wanted drinks. On the way up, I very nearly gave myself a heart attack, and then did it again on the way back down.  There was a mannequin with what looked like hockey gear on, standing in a dark corner. And I got jumped by it every time I walked by it.

Finally, we loaded the makeup cases back into the car, and it was time to head to the new space, 3S Artspace.  We got there easy enough, and it was then kind of a mess finding parking...so we parked at the bank...on the grass...and went in to find out where to bring the bags and stuff.

The staff were very helpful getting us to the stage area...presumably,  because it's not often that they get men in women's faces coming in. They were excited about the show though. The stage was great. Although, backstage was tiny. There were going to be about 6 people at a time back there with costume changes, etc. I'm still not sure how they all fit.

After getting them situated, I went back out to move the car, so I wouldn't fear being towed. And, grabbed the bags. On my way back into the building, I heard someone yell my name. I looked around, but didn't recognize the voice. As I got to the building, they said my name again. I recognized the person as a Facebook person. He thanked me for the update about the change of venue, and asked if I knew where we were going. I told him to follow me, but that I couldn't guarantee that they would let him in, because at this point, it was still really early. He thanked me then went on his way, as I made mine back into the backstage area.

Wendy showed up shortly after, and I bugged Bunny again, to let her in early. So, while I waited for everything to start, and for the doors to open, I at least had company.

Because of the change of venue, and the time change, and drag shows just about never start, on time, it seemed like forever for the show to start.  But, the show was totally worth the wait, and the hassle of exploiting social media.

Bunny did a version of her witches mix, that includes clips from Wicked and Maleficent from Sleeping  Beauty. 

Lili Whiteass did a version of Rocky Raccoon, in full raccoon drag. I had never heard the song before, but I got a kick out of it. Later, Lili did an homage to Devil Wears Prada and Madonna's Vogue.

BenDeLa did a hilarious number that started off with her lip synching to herself "talking to the dj", and then trying to follow a number, where the music was off...first too fast, then too slow. And, watching her do a perfect synch to slow motion music, and The Chipmunk speed music was awesome.

BenDeLaCreme later did her Burlesque number, that she had done when we saw the BOTS Tour. It's a number that I love, because it's funny. I didn't expect to get a glitter bomb though. I found out later, that Shaunna and Cherry told her to look for me, and throw glitter at me. Which, in a way made it better.

Cherry did a number from (I think) one of Barbara Streisand's movies. It was great until the end of the number, when the character falls off a building to her death, and it looked like Cherry overestimated the space between the stage and the first row if audience, because she quite nearly fell into the audience. 

For whatever reason, there was a carpet on the stage, and a number of times I caught a slip happening. 

Rainbow Frite again did her Somewhere That's Green, only, this time, it was the version she meant to do the first show...complete with an Audrey II puppet, that eventually devoured her.

Before I knew it, the show was over, and everyone was clearing out.  BenDeLa had finished out the show, and there was a couple bucks of tip money, and I think a cover up, left on the stage. So, when I felt like it was safe and nobody was going to be like "Wtf do you think you're doing," I grabbed the stuff, and took it backstage.

Once I got backstage, Shaunna introduced me, as her boyfriend, and as a surprise to me, she remembered me from the BOTS Tour. After I recovered from the idea that she knew who I was, I went out to wait with everyone else...because, the backstage area really was too small for me to be there too.

One by one, the girls came out, and I started up my, "I'll take your picture" thing, and from that point, time flew by. So many people. So many pictures. So many other people's cameras.

Finally, it was time for me to get my picture taken. And, nobody knew how to use my camera. I had it all set up, so that all that needed to be done was a click of the button, and the picture would've been perfect. I handed it off, and then proceeded to stand with BenDeLaCreme through 30-ish pictures that were not at the zoom I had set it for. We laughed a little, then headed outside.

Those who smoke smoked. The young girls who had been at the Jujubee show, were waiting outside, and proceeded to "tell the past" and  "tell the future" for BenDeLa, by reading her aura.

BenDeLaCreme put up with it, although, much of what they were saying was already public knowledge, or it was something that could apply to any generic gay man. They finally left, and BenDeLa said that was a relief. She didn't buy any of it.

At this point, it was just me and the queens, and the staff who were closing the theater for the night, and I would say that it was well after midnight. We went back inside, and everyone started to de-drag and pack up. BenDeLa admitted that she had forgotten to bring boy clothes for after the show. It didn't stop her from asking about bars around the area...only, she seemed shocked when she was told the time for last call. New England, and our Puritanical rules about alcohol being unavailable at a bar past 1am.

Unfortunately, for the girls, the bar at the theater had also closed for the night already, although cans of beer and soda were readily available.

This was the best part of the night for me, because I hadn't really gotten a good chance to meet Lili or Rainbow, in spite of the three shows. In my head, they were "above me," but proved to be just as human as me. Lili was trying to close her contact case, and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work. She handed it off to Shaunna, who also couldn't figure it out. I had been watching, and couldn't figure out why the cap looked different, and asked if I could look at it. It turned out that they were trying to put a cap from a water bottle on it. We all had a good laugh, and then, got kicked out of the theater. It was about 2am, and the staff were ready to go home.

Everyone said their goodbyes and promised to keep in touch, and then began the trek back to Maine.

On the return trip, conversation turned to the guy who asked me how to get in, and that I am officially part of the drag crew...and that I play a bigger role than I think I do.

I snap pictures at every show I go to. I post them for the world to see, and for the girls to use for their own promotional purposes. And, I blog about the experience. The girls do the shows and have memories of this or that, but generally not the whole show. My stories about what the show was like, give them something solid to remember. I give a written history for them to look back at and say, "I remember that show," and to see how it went over with the audience.

We finally made it to Kennebunk and stopped for our usual BK stop. I don't remember exactly what led up to it, but at one point, I could've sworn that the cook was going to whip out his penis for Cherry. Quick as it started, he had gone back to the grill.

We headed back to the car, and I became the subject of conversation again...well, not me, specifically, but...my butt, specifically. How nice and round it is, and how many people, male or female would be jealous of it. Cherry asked if it was ok to grab a cheek, got the ok, and did. I was a little embarrassed,  but since I was driving, it didn't make much difference. I went into listening mode again, and then just like that, the night was over. We dropped Cherry off. I helped bring her stuff up to her apartment. And, then, an hour later, we were home.

A Night at the Breezeway

Following the show with Joslyn, we had a couple days off, before the next weekend. Only this weekend was going to be a full weekend of drag shows.

Friday night, was a show at the Breezeway, in Manchester,  New Hampshire, called Drag Roulette. A simple concept...the queen spins a wheel, with a list of artists on it, and then the DJ picks a song, and the queen does her best interpretation of the song.  It's a great idea, and it's always fun to see Porcia...who had invited Shaunna Rai to perform.

The morning started with Shaunna putting everything that she needed in the living room, for me to load in the trunk later, when it was closer to time to leave.  I took her to work, and then began a crazy day of baking, and running errands, for a birthday the following day, with another show.

I got everything done that needed to be, except finding cupcake tins, so I ended up baking cupcakes in muffin tins, like muffins, resulting in uncircumcised cupcakes. I finally had everything done, with about an hour left before I needed to go back to Portland to pick Shaunna up.

I loaded everything into the car, and then left. I got a mile down the road, before I realized that the one thing I had forgotten, was the makeup...without which, Shaunna wouldn't have been able to come out. So, I turned around and tried again. This time, I had everything.

I scooped up Dan/Shaunna, and we took off for Manchester. The ride was very much uneventful. I got an earful for almost forgetting the makeup. And, an earful about my driving, thanks to some road work and people slamming on brakes ahead of me.

Finally, we made it to Porcia's. We got the tour of her apartment. And then it was time to get down to business. Makeup mirrors went up for Shaunna, and Porcia and Scarrlett went to their respective drag rooms.  I had a couple of half Solo cups of wine, while I waited.

While Shaunna painted, I watched Porcia's dog screw the life out of a teddy bear. 

Finally, it was time for us to go, for the show. We were a few minutes late, but it was all good. Since the whole show was the three queens, it had to wait for them to even start. We ordered drinks, and I took my place for taking pictures.  I looked forward to it, because I haven't seen a lot of performances by either Porcia or Scarrlett.

Everyone did their first number,  and then it was time for a break. We went outside a the girls could get some air, and so that those who smoked could do so.

Upon returning inside, I was approached by a guy selling roses, and since we were close to Dan's birthday, I figured, sure, why not? We got a drink...I got a water, because I was feeling a little off. And, headed back in, so that the girls could get ready for their second numbers.

What I remember,  is that I got dizzy and grabbed ahold of a counter, and tried to sit on the stool. And then, I was on the floor. Shaunna and Porcia were standing over me. I had no idea what happened.

We went outside, so that I could get some air, and try to remember what happened. Shaunna told me that we could leave if I wanted to, because this was a health issue. I said no, because I already was feeling guilty about having passed out, and I didn't want to have made this trip all the way for one number.

Scarrlett's boyfriend volunteered to stay with me. I was immensely grateful,  and at the time completely ashamed, because I didn't know what happened...and with the cooler air hitting me, I couldn't tell if I had spilled my water, or if I had pissed myself, which made me even more upset.

When I finally regained my composure,  we went to the patio, so I could at least not be sitting outside the door like someone who got kicked out. A guy asked me to take a picture of him with Alex, Scarrlett's boyfriend. I did, and only then realized I had shoved the roses in my camera bag, and fallen on them. (I almost started crying again.)

Alex asked me if I wanted to go in for the last number,  to give Shaunna the roses, and I said I thought that I could manage that. And, so I did.

We left almost immediately after. I still felt like a douche. Dan needed to get out of drag, and then I got the full fury of just how badly I had scared him, and why I need to take better care of myself. And, it was a matter of making myself talk on the way back, so that we didn't end up having to go to the ER, and cancel the rest of the weekend.

That was the night that the Kennebunk rest area BK let us down at 2am, by having switched over to the breakfast menu, when all I wanted to eat was a burger and fries... You will never understand the letdown of sausage and a hash brown, when that isn't what you're craving.

I was never so happy to get home and go to bed as I was that night.