Malice in Wonderland

The Screaming Queens show is an important show in my history with Shaunna Rai. I met Shaunna Rai and company for the first time at a Screaming Queens show. And, although she was performing that night, it was technically my first date with Dan, as well. The show itself is a benefit, to raise money for the Down East AIDS Network, and it usually makes a good amount of money.

So when Shaunna said she would be participating again this year, it was kind of exciting. It would be almost like reliving our first date. Sort of. Although, a lot has changed since then.

A couple days before (or maybe the night before, because I don't remember exactly) we made a trip to go see Benni (Miss E,on) for last minute costume fittings. And, as usual I was amazed at what the end result was for each outfit. Even though there was no hair, so I kinda had to imagine what Shaunna would look like in them when Dan was trying them on.

The day of the show, we ran around a little bit. Shaunna was going to do what she did for the Drag Me to Hell show, and buy some shot glasses and have the bar make shots for everyone. (Unfortunately, with the glasses that we found, there weren't enough.)

Finally, it was time to go pick up E,on, and head to Waterville. I made sure to load the address into the GPS, for the drive. And, we were on our way. We made really good time getting into Waterville. So good, in fact, that we had time to go shopping.  We stopped at Mardens, and looked around. We also stopped at Kmart, and again found the shot glassss, but, still too few, since we hadn't bought the ones we had seen earlier.

Unfortunately, for me, the GPS believes that Champions (the venue) is a little dive place on Elm Street. And, in spite of putting in the exact address, I was accused of punching in the wrong address, and screwing up the afternoon. (Needless to say, after that, I was overly thrilled to have come. Note the sarcasm dripping from that statement.) E,on, fortunately got us there. It turned out that I had taken the wrong exit, and that messed everything up. But, in my defense, I was doing what the GPS told me to do.

Once we were finally there, it went pretty smoothly. I unloaded the car, and got the girls situated. We got there early, because Shaunna Rai doesn't do late. Just behind us was Miss JoAnn, in her new RV. Just as she was getting settled in to start painting, with the girls she remembered that she had forgotten her headdress. The Queen of Spades won't look much like she's supposed to if she doesn't have a spade headdress, right?

So, I got volunteered to go with her husband, to Arundel  (on the other side of the state) to go grab it, before the show started. Now, I have known Russ for a few years, because of Miss JoAnn, but, I don't recall ever having heard him speak, much less having had a conversation with him. So, it was going to make for a very long trip.

It was, much as I expected it to be...quiet. I was lost in my head. So, when Russ spoke up and showed me where he and Miss JoAnn had met, I was surprised. Also, by how they met, and the brief history of what it was like to be gay before I was anywhere near ready to come out. 

We got to Arundel, and I had time to shoot out an Instagram update, while he grabbed the headpiece, before we turned around, and I drove like a maniac to get back before the show started. On the ride back, I retreated into my head again, thinking, for most of thr return trip how, I'm sitting with my future in 30 years or so, right next to me. Russ was super sweet. He refilled what we had used for gas in Biddeford, and then had me top it off when we got back to Waterville.

We made it back with plenty of time before the show. I ran over to McDonald's to grab a burger, so I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. (Since I had been warned that if I passed out, I was going to be left behind.) 

I went inside, and got a hug from Paul, one of the creators of the Screaming Queens show, and he told me that he was putting a drink on his tab for me, for making the trip to Arundel. (Being a lightweight drinker, I only paid for one drink for myself for the night.) 

When the doors opened, I led my parents to the VIP tables, that were literally on the edge of the stage. (Halfway through the show, I felt bad, because where they chose to sit, they got to see a lot of the backsides of the queens.) Meanwhile, I was off running around, trying to get great shots and fending off the professional photographers who had been asked to take pictures of the show.

Valerie Honeywell opened up the show, as hostess (and shared it off and on through the night with LaWanda). 

Shaunna Rai opened the show with a mix performance. It was Alice themed music, and very difficult to follow...which, is somewhat fitting, considering the source material. The dress and apron outfit was cute, and Shaunna's giant white bow just kinda made it work. And, Shaunna being the tear away queen, had a dance outfit on underneath. 

Miss JoAnn followed. If I remember correctly, she did a number from Cabaret...which didn't really go with the Alice theme. But, seeing the headpiece in action made it totally worth the drive to get it. The queen of Spades didn't really come across without it. 

The queen of hearts, herself was up next. LaWanda has so much energy on stage, that she exhausts me. Toward the end of her number, her wig fell off. (I'm not entirely sure that this was accidental, so much as it is a way to say, "just so you didn't forget, I'm a man in a dress.")

The Mad Hatter, Miss E,on, was up next. Her song was also a mix, that included "They're Coming to Take Me Away". Totally an E,on number, to be sure.

At this point, LaWanda took over the mic, to introduce Valerie. Valerie came out in a tear away, that I'm pretty sure belonged to Ariel Gibbs, a close friend of Shaunna's, who passed away over the summer. Valerie was the White Rabbit.

ClubKid MizzDiveena, the Cheshire Cat was up next. Her makeup was great. It was a little reminiscent of the skeleton makeup Shaunna had done a week or two earlier, but it worked for the character. 

Valerie came back out, and introduced a couple members of the Down East AIDS Network, to say a few words about what Screaming Queens is all about, and where the money goes, and all that.

LaWanda was back, I'm pretty sure that this number was Juice Newton's Queen of Hearts song. You would think that I would remember, because I was lip syncing to it along with her.

Shaunna was back for another mix, and another tear away, leaving her in a fringe dance outfit.

Miss JoAnn followed, with Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I was actually really happy with pictures I got of this number. Over the years, I haven't been able to get a lot of really good pictures of her, because lighting in most of the places I've seen her at, has been, well, sub par. 

Valerie was up, with her Bunny ears this time. Followed by E,on and Diveena. Diveena brought out the headpiece that she had worn for Dragapalooza last spring. 

LaWanda came out for her final number, which was made more interesting, by a shirtless Paul, with a leather harness and Bunny ear mask, following her around like a puppy dog. 

Shaunna's final number was Pink's The King Is Dead (But the Queen is Alive). Alice got the upper hand, and took off the Red Queen's head...or so we are left to imagine.

Valerie closed out the show, with a little Celine Dion. I was getting tired, and glad the show was almost over, because throughout the show, I had been running back to check on my parents, and then back out to get the best pictures I could. 

At one point during my running, I was stopped and asked if I was Steve Dixon. I thought it was odd, but, I have developed a small following,  so, not that odd. It turned out that the guy who asked was a guy I had gotten a picture of at the Halloween party at the Westin,  and he wanted to thank me for it. 

They opened the floor up for dancing, once the show was over. I started the back and forth of bringing drag bags back to the car. I definitely got a work out, because I didn't find out until the very last trip that I could have saved some energy by going an alternate route, instead of through the main dance floor area.

Finally we were ready to go. We said goodbye to my parents,  and headed to McDonald's,  so that Dan and Benni could get something to eat before we made the trek back home.

It was a crazy night. And I believe,  the final number for funds raised for the night was right around $4000. So, definitely worth it.

Take Me To Church...

Marcus Bennett, for whom the benefit was held.

 The period between December, and June, seems to be the busiest period for drag, in Shaunna Rai's booking schedule.  This is great for her, but it kind of sucks, as far as when shows happen.  Because, any time between December and (to be safe) April, there's a good chance of snow.

Sheneeda Diet opened the show.

At work, they're getting frustrated with me, I think, because, I ask for a lot of time off, for shows.  However, I make it up to them, most of the time.  We had an overnight person, who has given his notice, and so, there's overnights open.  Since I've been going crazy dealing with some of the behaviors, recently, at work, I decided that some overnights, might not be a bad thing...although, they might kill me, because the lack of sleep makes it really hard to recover...

So, Friday night, I did the overnight.  Which is fine.  However, Saturday, the day of the show, when I left work, it had started snowing.  I hate snow.  Yeah, it's pretty, yeah, it's cool.  But, yeah, I suck at driving in it.

Jacinda

The entire drive home from work, all I could think of was, "I hope the storm is over, before we have to leave to go to Lewiston for the show."  When I finally got to sleep, it was still snowing.

It was still snowing, when I woke up a few hours later.  And, texts were flying furiously, about whether or not the show was going to be cancelled or not.  It was finally determined that the show must go on.

I was half relieved that it was still going to happen...and at the same time, I was irritated, because, it meant that I was going to have to drive in the crappy snow, to a show that Shaunna wasn't getting paid for, for a person who I didn't know.

Shaunna Rai

While I processed all that, I realized how much of a jerk that made me.  The show was a benefit, to "Pay it Forward," to the family of a young man who was known for "Paying it Forward."  Really, I didn't have any right to be angry...because Shaunna gave me the option of not going to the show.  I had a perfect excuse...I had worked the overnight, and so, I needed to sleep.  I was the one who chose to go to the show.  If I was going to be mad at anyone, it needed to be myself, not the show.

Leanna Love

I've been getting better, about having things ready to go, before Shaunna is ready to walk out the door...because I've gotten flack for that, in the past.  And, so Saturday night, I was on top of things again.  The car was loaded, and I just had to make sure that Shaunna's door was unlocked before she got to the car.  So simple.

Finally, it was time to leave.  And, the panic started to set in.  I don't consider myself a good driver, in the best of conditions, much less, when there's three inches of slush on the road, and half of the traveling I have to do before I get to the highway is uphill, because, let's face it, Portland is built on a hill, that we live in the middle of.

Miss E,on does "Take Me to Church".

It was actually, kind of funny, Occasionally, I hear Shaunna coming out of Dan's mouth, but it's very rare to have the opposite happen.  Driving up High Street, praying that the car would make it, Dan reminded me (using Shaunna's mouth) not to stomp on the gas, and to pump the brakes, and not slam on them.

Once we finally got to the highway, the roads were clear, and I could relax again...at least, until we made it to Lewiston, where the roads were nasty again.

Sheneeda Diet, with the mane.

I wasn't sure quite what to make of the night, given the weather.  A few people had said that they would try to make it to the show.  So, once we got there, and I brought in the suitcase, and some wigs that Dan had re-worked for Sheneeda Diet and Brystal Kreme, I went to find a place to sit.

When you're early for a show, it's kind of boring, sitting and waiting.  Especially, when it's a show, where people might not come out, because the roads are gross.  So, I found my spot, and waited.  People started to trickle in, in ones and twos.  Shaunna came out to get a drink, and while she was out, a friend from school and his friend came.  So, conversation started.  Eventually, I took them both to my table.

In the meantime, another friend of ours came, with a friend of his, who is a huge fan of Shaunna's.  They sat at my table too.  For a few minutes, I felt special.  I had people sitting with me, who wanted to be there, not because they were assigned to be there.

Jacinda

Shaunna's fan, Andrea asked me what time the show was going to start.  I told her, quite honestly, the poster says 9:30pm, but, it'll probably be later than that.  Drag time is it's own time zone.

Finally, the show started.

The first number was the tribute number, by Sheneeda Diet.  A slow, sad song, but totally fitting, considering the ultimate reason for the show was the death of a young man.

Sheneeda Diet

The show went very quickly, once it started.  Jacinda was up next, then Shaunna Rai, Leanna Love and Miss E,on.  E,on's number floored me.  Hozier's Take Me to Church, only it was a female cover.  (I've spent the week since the show, with the song stuck in my head...Thanks E,on!)  Sheneeda Diet was back out, with one of Shaunna Rai's stand by songs...although, which, I don't remember, at this point.  I loved the hair.  I watched it go from an old wig to the giant mane with blonde highlights that it is now.

Leanna Love

The show took a break.  When people came back from smoking, or buying drinks, or whatever, they did a raffle.  When Shaunna got drinks, she also bought tickets.  The goal was to get one of two gift baskets...one filled with candy and tickets to the movies.  The other, was a gift certificate to Lotus Chinese restaurant, which also included movie theater tickets.  Unfortunately, we won neither.  But, at least the money raised was going to go to the family.

Miss E,on's All About The Bass.

Jacinda started the second half of the show.

Then Sheneeda Diet again, with another of Shaunna's usual songs.  It was interesting to see someone else perform the same song.  It was a little weird, because these are numbers that I've seen so often, that I pretty much know what movements happen when...so when they didn't happen, it was a little jarring.

Leanna Love went next.  She's great when it comes to working the audience...but as a subject to photograph, I got frustrated with her.  Since the emcee told us that there was no flash photography allowed, I had to use the existing lighting for pictures.  (When I asked her about it later, she said that she hated the lights, because they're so bright that you can't see anything anyway...so it made sense that she stayed away from them.)

Shaunna Rai

E'on went again, and shocked me.  I have never seen her in anything other than her black and/or purple hair (and blonde once, but only in pictures.)  She came out in red hair.  She did Meghan Trainor's All About the Bass, a song that I immediately thought of her, the first time I heard it.

 Throughout the course of the night, I played with camera settings, in hopes that at least some of the pictures would come out, since I couldn't use a flash.  And, in the process, I would every so often review what I had just taken.  And, I found, at some point, I had changed the settings, so that I could literally hold the trigger, and it would automatically take multiple pictures.  So, when I reviewed it, it was almost like playing back the show, only minus the music.

Shaunna was next to the last number.  And, as usual, had a couple tear aways.  (Reviewing it in reverse was fun, watching her put things back on, as they flew back at her.)

Brystal Kreme

Finally, it was the new girl, who I had never met, much less seen perform...as it was her first time performing.  Brystal Kreme moves fast, and didn't seem to like the light any more than Leanna Love did.  (Neither of which made for good photos.)  She was very much involved with the audience...so much so, that at one point, while visiting our friends, she actually knocked my camera out of my hands into my lap. (No damage was done, thankfully.)

And, just like that, the show was over.

There was a bit of a meet and greet at the end.  The girls made themselves available for group photos with anyone who wanted them.

The crowds cleared out, and it was time to go home.  Lewiston was still a mess, the Turnpike was fine, and Portland was still a mess.  But, we made it home safe and sound.

Death of a Gay Bar...

Here in Portland, there are a group of gays, who on a monthly basis, take over a straight bar, just because they can.  They call themselves Guerrilla Queer Bar.  I understand the "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Over It" mentality.  Because, let's face it, it's 2014, not 1950.  We've become a visible.  

I've never participated in this, because, to be quite frank, even though, it's totally acceptable for a gay man to frequent "straight" establishments, I've never felt comfortable enough to do so. I would much rather spend my time either hanging out at the local "Cheers" environment, where everybody really does know my name...and everything about me, or go to a dance club, where nobody cares who I am.  But, a club where I'm the minority, that's just not my thing.  Maybe I am still living in a 1950's world, but I think we need the gay bars.

Unfortunately, gay bars, in the Easternmost states, are becoming a rare commodity.  When I first came out, the state of Maine had far more than it has now.  Bangor had a couple of bars, Augusta had one, Portland had (I believe) three at one point, and well, Ogunquit being Ogunquit, the gay capitol of Maine, had a couple.  Over the course of the last few years, the bars have been going out of business.  Bangor has "gay friendly" clubs, but none that cater to an exclusively gay clientele.  Augusta has none.  Portland still has two gay bars, which rumor has it, neither is doing as well as they could be...Lewiston, since I met Dan/Shaunna Rai, has had not one, not even two, but three different gay bars open and close.  And, Ogunquit has Mainestreet and the Front Porch (a dance club and a piano bar.)  

And, the blight that has been taking away the Maine gay bars, has moved on to New Hampshire, as well.  Over the summer, Shaunna Rai hosted a bag night at Elements, a bar in Manchester, NH.  And, a couple of weeks later, they announced that they would be closing.  (They've since reopened...)  And, then, this week, Paradym/Club 313 (whichever name you prefer to use, because it's the same club, under different management) announced that this weekend, they would be closing their doors.

Sadly, the state of business for many of these bars, is that everyone believes that they're doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, they're closed for good.  And, who is to blame?  

As a group, we, the gays, like to complain.  He's too ugly, he's too fat, he's too much of a whore.  This club is too dirty.  That club doesn't pay enough attention to their clientele.  This one has the same five performers, every week.  That one has too many performers, but they're always performing the same act.  We're never happy.  We need something newer.  Something flashier.  Something different.

And yet, the community as a whole, goes berserk when something happens to the club that they've been complaining about for years.  

I have some suggestions:

1.)  Instead of forcing ourselves on the straight people, why don't we invite them once in a while, to our world?

2.)  Even if you've seen the same seven drag queens at the same bar for the last seventeen years, performing the same seventeen numbers, let them know that you appreciate what they're doing.  More often than not, they're being paid minimal amounts, and getting by on tips.  

3.)  If you want to keep your gay bars around, so that when you feel like being gay, you can be gay, and nobody will give a fuck, SUPPORT YOUR BARS!!!!  I can't stress this enough.  People bitch the most about the bars that appeared to be doing well, that all of a sudden, BANG, they're gone.  Well, if you had been going there, instead of trying to "make a point of your queerness", maybe they'd still be around...

4.)  If you have suggestions for your bars, of what they could do to make things better, find out who you need to talk to, and talk to them!  The worst thing that can happen, is that they're going to say, "Hey, we tried that, and nobody liked it, but thanks for the idea." The best that can happen is that they say, "OMG! I hadn't even thought about that!  Thanks for the idea.  We'll try that!"  

5.)  A cover charge is not a rip off.  Often times, the cover charge is split between the bar and the entertainment for the evening.  If you're not interested in paying a cover charge, you might want to consider buying your alcohol, and having drinks with friends at home.  (You have less of an opportunity for getting picked up for an OUI that way...)

Some things just can't take the place of other things.  Your straight bar with a "gay night", is never going to take the place of your local Gay Bar.  It's not the same.  It's like saying that a Kindle is the same as reading a real book.  It's not.  While I love my Kindle, while I'm reading on it, I miss actually turning the pages, and the smell of the paper.  

Respect your present, because eventually, it is going to be your past.  And, if things keep going the way they have been over the last couple of years, in Maine and New Hampshire, the Gay Bar scene is going to be non-existent.  

Sure, you can still go play Guerrilla Queer Bar-hopper, but don't forget that you can go to your ACTUAL Queer Bar, and support them.  Because eventually, if we're not supporting our bars, they won't be there.  And we'll start bitching about the lack of a place to go where you can be gay, and not have to worry about being gay.

I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.