Give to Me Your Leather, Take From Me, My Lace

Shaunna's Cousin from Deliverance...

 Even a little snow can't keep a show from going on...Thank Goodness.  And, you always know, when Shaunna Rai's "cousin" shows up, that you're in for a VERY interesting night.

After a drink, I was asked to call a cab, since I had to stake my claim on a free parking spot, due to the parking ban, knowing that the lot would be full by the time the show was over.  So, I did.  More than an hour and a half before we needed the cab to be here.  I thought nothing of it, as there was no reason for me to.  I received the confirmation that someone would be here by 8:30pm to pick us up, and no calls saying that that was inaccurate.

So, the girls got ready, and we did the usual photo shoot, before we leave the house.  Shaunna had a couple of shots done, because she's modeling nails for a company called X-Tar Cosmetics.  And, because I'm going to be bored for the next week, due to a severe shortage of hours that I'll be working, I wanted something that I could play with, for a poster to promote Shaunna Rai's Happy Hours, at Blackstones.  And, Vanila got a couple of shots done as well, just because, well, that's what we do. That's how we roll here...

So, finally, it's time for us to go wait for the cab.  Our neighbors arrived home, and we got to listen in to a phone conversation (because they were on the stoop, and yelling into the phone.)  8:30 came and went, and the cab wasn't here.  Vanila called the cab company, who proceeded to tell her, that "It's not our problem that when you called to order the cab, the dispatcher was new, and didn't know that we didn't have any cabs available."

Seriously, Unacceptable.

Abbey Road Taxi quoted us a 10 minute wait, and they were here sooner than that.  And, the show was back on the slippery, snowy road.  And, I started breathing again.  Because, in my crazy head, somehow, I had screwed up the taxi thing.

Upon arrival, I ordered drinks for Shaunna and I.  Shaunna was not performing in the show, so it was a different kind of night than the usual show night.  And, I was pretty excited.  My Facebook page will say otherwise, but I have few enough friends...but I had friends, who Dan/Shaunna Rai didn't know, coming in from Chicago, to see us and the show.

Shows normally start relatively early, like around 9 or 9:30pm.  This one, was scheduled for a 10pm start.  Around 9:15, I started to think that the snow was keeping the boys away.  And, I was a bit disappointed.  And, then, Brian and Patrick walked in.  And, they brought Liz, one of my favorite people from when I worked for the bank.  Big hugs all around, and I got a couple of slaps for leaving the bank...which, as much as I hate to say it, was one of the best choices that I've made for myself.

Introductions were made, and things went well.  And, I found out that I'm being stalked from Chicago.  Well, the boys have been watching the progressions in my life since I originally became single, up through now.  And, for the second time in a week, I heard, "You've gained so much confidence, and you seem so much happier. I'm proud of you."  The boys were actually in town to look for wedding venues, for their upcoming wedding.

I spent the weeks prior to the show, convinced that someone was going to be singing the Stevie Nicks/Don Henley song, "Leather and Lace", because I kept hearing the name of the show was Leather and Lace...it was really Leather and Love.  I need to pay better attention to promotion materials, and keep my head out of things.

The show started, and I was in a spot different from my usual perch by the front of the stage.  I spent the entire show, standing, trying to stay out of people's way, but, keep them out of my way, as well.  It was a delicate balance to not knock people in the head for getting too close to me.

It would be great, if I could actually remember after the show is over, what songs were performed.  But, I spend so much time, focused on taking the pictures, that I tend to forget to pay attention to the music.

What I did focus on though, was the performers.  Danielle was trying a new look, with her mesh (fishnet?) outfit, and managed to pull it off well.  I remember when I first heard about the show, that this particular outfit was the topic of a lot of speculation.  Cherry Lemonade, who had put a tax return into a chestplate, was looking bustier than I've ever seen her.  She was on it with both her lip sync number, and with her live number.  I have to say, when you've got the voice, you need to play it up.  And, Cherry has the voice.  Madame Sheena always puts on a good lip sync.   Vanila, who is usually pretty energetic in her performances wasn't quite there for this show.  This would probably be because she spent the entire week before the show, hacking up lungs, and dealing with a bum tooth.  The performance was good, just, I could tell she wasn't feeling it.

Shaunna Rai, after the show, did her mingling thing.  Because it was a Valentine's day show, she handed out some Cherry Blow Pops, that we'd bought earlier.  To each recipient, she made a request.  "Tell me how long it takes you to get to my center."  (I don't think anyone actually did mention how long it took...)  She managed to find the two girls who had never been to Blackstones before, much less a drag show...and welcomed them with her Blow Pops.

While she did her thing, I checked in with Vanila, to see kind of where we were at, as far as needing to get another cab.  Vanila went downhill quickly after the show.  And, so the cab was called pretty close to when I asked.  "It'll be about 10 minutes," was the cab company response.  And, like before, since it was the same company, they were there much sooner than the 10 minutes.  Vanila booked it for the cab, while I found Shaunna to tell her that the cab was here.  She said she'd be right out.  And then got caught up with taking pictures with fans.  So, when she finally got to the cab, I wasn't sure that she was going to get a fan out of the cabbie.



I just have to remember, that miss Shaunna Rai, is quite resourceful, and makes it hard to NOT like her.  She climbed in, after Vanila bribed the driver to not leave without her.  As she got in, she mentioned something about being good and covering up her "hoo-hah."  And, the conversation went something like this:

Cabbie: I don't know what a hoo-hah is.
Shaunna: If I have to explain it, I'll have to charge you.  Here, have my cherry.
Cabbie: What is it?
Shaunna: It's a Blow Pop.  It's my cherry.  Tell me how long it takes to get to my center.

Outwardly, I was laughing, because the driver was an older gentleman.  Friendly as all get out.  And he didn't seem at all thrown by the fact that he had two drag queens in his cab.  But, inwardly, I was cringing, because, this is a person that none of us knows.  And, he could very well take offense at anything that Shaunna said, and it could all blow up.  Fortunately, nothing like that actually happened.  The guy laughed along with us.  And, he told us a bit about the company, and was happy to hear that Vanila was now going to be a repeat customer.

Then, just like that, the night was over.  We were home.  The drag came off, the TV came on. And, I ended up being the last one awake.

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night.  Good friends, good show at a great bar.

Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy

You would think that the nights of a drag show are the most fun for me.  While I enjoy them, this is mostly false.  The drag nights that are the most fun, are the impromptu, "I just wanna be pretty" nights. Friday night, was one such night.

The reason I enjoy these nights, more than drag shows, is because there's a lot less stress involved.  Every show night, there's the "Which outfits/wigs/accessories do I need to bring? Does my makeup look amazing? Am I drop dead gorgeous?" The stress leads to snappiness, and a general time where I avoid saying/doing anything, and making myself scarce.  If there's one thing that I've learned, in the past year, it's that you on't argue with a queen.  It's not in your best interest.

On, "I just wanna be pretty nights," all of that stress is gone.  The hardest decisions are still, what outfit and hair am I going to wear? But, there's not the same sense of urgency, to painting, and getting dressed up to go out.

Anyway, partway through the day, we decided that we were going to go out. And, then we were contacted by Andy, our new friend, who I talked about last time. It was his partner's birthday on Friday. So, the night on the town, was going to turn into a birthday party! What fun.

I'd deposited my check earlier in the day, so I figured that it was going to be all set.  When the girls started painting, I'd go out, and pick up a cake, and get a little extra money for drinks, and, everything would be all set.  I picked up the cake, and a couple of other things, and headed to the checkout.  The lines were full of people with carts full of crap.  And, here I am, with 3 things.  And, I hate lines. I hate shopping, in general, unless I can get in and out in less than 10 minutes. Finally, the lady in front of me gets up to the conveyor belt, and then says, "You go ahead of me." Shocked? Yes. People don't do that anymore.  I thanked her profusely, and then went to pay for my purchases.  I ran my card, and asked for cash back. And, it declined.  And, I started to freak out a little.  I ran it again, without the cash back, and it went through.  Weird, but okay.  At least I could leave now.  I thanked the lady again, and wished her a good evening.

I finally, decide, before I go home, I'm going to check the ATM, and see what's going on with my deposit?  And, it's not there.  I can't find anywhere that I actually deposited money into my account, despite the fact that I have a receipt from the teller saying that I did.  And, so I start panicking.  What the hell happened to the money?

I got home, and at this point, I'm freaking out.  And, I kinda exploded.  I was ready to murder the teller, for stealing my money, and the person who tried cutting me off on the way home. And, I just can't think at this point. Dan tells me, call the bank.  Nothing's going to get taken care of if you're just yelling about it.  Half an hour later, I'm actually talking to someone from the bank, who says, "Yes, the money was deposited into your account, the system just hasn't updated yet. It'll be there at midnight."  And, I'm just all like, I don't even get it, because I've never had NONE of my check available use immediately.

Anyway, Shaunna Rai finally was ready, with her new hair, that she had literally only had for hours, before wearing it.  And, we were on our way to Blackstones to meet Andy and Tommy.  Before they arrived, I talked to JR, about hiding the cake, and getting utensils, and paper plates...because it never crossed my mind to pick them up while I was out...not that I would have been able to afford them anyway.  The boys showed up, and we chatted for a while, and then it was time to bring out the cake.

I went and got the cake, and brought it out with candles lit, and people started singing.  I remembered from my birthday, when I walked in, and everyone sang to me.  And, as I'm walking, I hear the people who know them, say, "Happy Birthday, dear Tommy," and this one guy, on the other side of me, singing, "Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy." And, at that point, I realized that I'd had enough to drink to actually relax...which is something difficult enough for me to do.  I just let loose after that.  I felt bad, because I bought a cake that I knew I wouldn't be able to eat, because of my gluten thing...but I knew that it would be bad if I had cake, period.

The night seemed to fly by.  The girls were doing their usual mingling.  And, I was chatting with people.  I was hit with "So, you really thought that we were ax murderers?" Because of my last blog.  Truth is, I think everyone's an ax murderer, until they prove to me otherwise.  But, that's neither here nor there.  I learned about the heirarchy of Bitch, and the way to use it...  "You aren't a bitch just because you can be.  You're a bitch, because they deserve it. And, you don't try to out-bitch those who have paved the way for you to dress in drag, because you will be taken down."  (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the picture.)

At some point, I had had a bit more to drink than I should have, and became a nuisance.  Our local "Tina Turner" Thomas, went into his dance, when Proud Mary came on.  And, I had had just enough to drink, to think that he just wanted to dance.  And, I just wanted to dance.  And, yeah... it wasn't pretty.  Or so, I hear.

At the end of the night, we went to Denny's with the birthday boy, and his other half.  I don't remember much from that point.  I remember eating, and drinking my coke.  At some point, the girls took pictures with someone at Denny's.  I think they said the winner of the 80's night at Bubba's.  And, some girl said later to Shaunna Rai, that she liked her hair, and asked if she could touch it, and Shaunna Rai ripped the wig off, and held it out to her.  Most of this, I heard about yesterday, because I didn't remember it.

I knew that I'd had too much of a good time, when I woke up yesterday though. The first words out of my mouth, were, "I have a head...and it hurts." But, it was totally worth it.  The boys had fun. The girls had fun, and most of all, I had fun.  

I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.  

When You're Good to Mama...

The April 13th show at Altera, in Lewiston, finished out what I was referring to as "Hell" week. Dan and Ryan were in drag, just about every other day, and Dan's car had just died, so I became chauffeur.

Wednesday night was Danielle's Birthday show at Blackstones, which was a blast, as always. Miss E'on came from Lewiston, to see the show, and to go to the Phoenix awards with us. E'on, Shaunna Rai, and Vanila all got into face at Miss LaJoy's house.

This was interesting to me, as I had not seen Miss LaJoy before. So, was very curious about how she was going to look in drag. I came to the realization, during the putting on of face, that for whatever reason, the smell of makeup, is kind of comforting to me.

The show at Blackstones, as I said before, was a blast. New girls, new numbers, and Taffy with Red Bull curlers in her hair! The pictures I got were great.

Friday night, was the First Phierce Friday at Mainestreet Ogunquit, with DJ Aga. There were giveaways of light stick things, and Carly Rae Jepsen CD's. Shaunna Rai and Vanila performed, and I started to see just how athletic these girls are. I'm impressed. Splits, Back handsprings, all kind of acrobatic tricks.

The weekend ended at Altera, with Shaunna Rai and her Dolls.  This, while it was a show, so it was important for the performers, was probably more important for me. This was the first time that my parents were going to see Shaunna Rai. Knowing my parents, I really didn't have anything to worry about, but, knowing myself, I was worried anyway. What if they got offended? What if they were uncomfortable? The what if's were flying, and I didn't know how to stop them.

Finally, I got the text from my mom saying, "We're here", so I went to go meet them, with their tickets. I had maybe, purposely, although, I still rationalize it as accidentally forgotten to give them a few pieces of information, like that Altera was a gay bar.  Because, in my mind, drag shows don't necessarily happen in straight bars.

Once we got in, and got settled, mom turns to me, and tells me that she's crossed two things off her bucket list.  So, I tried to guess. "Um, you're seeing a drag show, and you went to a gay bar?"
"Ooooh. Three things then!" "Ok, so if the first two are seeing a drag show, and going to a gay bar, what's the third?" "Going to a bar, period."  I'd forgotten. My mom doesn't drink. Ever. Never, ever. So, she wouldn't have a reason to go to a bar, much less a gay bar.

On the way in, Jacinda, in boy clothes, took the tickets, and let my mom keep them, so that she could get signatures from the "girls" if she chose to.  She chose to.

Introductions were a little awkward, for me, because I'm still having a hard time with figuring out which name to introduce with. The girls were in drag, so I figured it was appropriate to use the drag name, and then later explain to my parents who they are out of drag.

Most of the night, I spent, going back and forth between my parents making sure that they're having a good time. Dad seemed a little uncomfortable, after he found out it was a gay bar, but Mom seemed to be having the time of her life. I knew that Mom was going to take a million pictures, because that's just what she does. The one show I was in, I ended up being tagged on Facebook, in over 300 pictures...And, thankfully, I wasn't wrong here. I tend to be the photographer, at Shaunna Rai's shows, just because I enjoy it. Unfortunately, having taken pictures two other shows that week, I'd drained my batteries in my camera, and forgotten to grab new ones. And, my camera died.

After the show was over, Mom asked if she could go meet the girls, since, they were all out mingling before the show. I said I thought that could be arranged. And, she started gathering her autographs.  Shaunna Rai, Vanila, Taffy, and Desta Toot, all were so good to my mom, and gave her autographs, and took pictures with her. And, the "I love your mom" responses I got from the girls made me really happy. And, the "I love them too!" that they got on a facebook response later, made the whole night  perfect for me.

Blackstones Portland Valentine's Day Show

Blackstone's Portland

Because the poster forgot to say where it takes place