Take a Break

The last year of my life has been challenging, to say the least. From being asked to leave a job, to being hired at two other jobs, that never delivered on the hours that they promised, I'm a little disenchanted with things. Then, with the addition of a breakup, which was very public (though on very good terms). And finally, with all the drama that comes with the drag community, I am tired. And, I need to take a step back from everything and re-center myself.

Any of these on their own would be enough to cause some to throw their hands up in defeat. But, I'm a glutton for punishment, and let it build and build and build. And, NOW, I'm throwing my hands up.

Over the last 5 years, I have voluntarily taken pictures at shows. I get no compensation for doing so. And, I generally will take 2-6k pictures over the course of a show. I then find the best ones, edit them and post them. It was initially for me. And, partially, for people who weren't able to attend. And it all takes time. And, sometimes I just am not in the mood to deal with pictures. The random, "when will the pictures be up," sometimes makes me want to say, "Never." I don't think I have actually sat through a show in 5 years, to watch it, in person. It has always been through a camera lens...

I went to art school, right out of high school, because I was going to animate for Disney. Life happened, and I never achieved that. For a long time, I avoided art in general. Then, I was asked to do a show poster. It gave me a chance to put my creativity to use. And, that was great. When I have all the info and photos and such that I'll need, it takes no time. And, again, I don't really get any compensation. That's my own fault...although recently, I have started negotiating for the work that I do. But, there comes although time when as a graphic design, you want to tell the client to go to hell, when the poster has to be changed a million times. And, when an outside person or group won't share the poster because of wording...well, it means another edit. My average number of edits on a poster, generally ranges from 5 to 8, because of last minute drop outs or additions. My advice...if you're not sure about the line up, do yourself and me a favor... instead of listing everyone, say "And Special Guests."

While I was working very little this spring, I started doing caricatures of queens. It was a way for me to bring in a little extra cash. It was something that I enjoyed. That is, until my opinion became a death stroke for a commission. The worst part, was that the beheading of the project came just a short while after a conversation with the queen about starting over, because it wasn't conveying her "look". The project was killed by her manager, who disagreed with what I said, and told me that he (the manager) was killing it, because he didn't want to be reminded of a horrible day, with her merchandising. That left a bad taste in my mouth, and I really have avoided taking new commissions since.

And then, of course, there is the blog itself. I haven't posted since the breakup, because I'm still not sure how I feel. So, it has been easier to not say anything about anything, than to address what I want to address.

It feels like this is a good time to take a break. There are shows tonight and tomorrow, that I'm committed to. But, after that, I'm free to do what I want. Shaunna Rai now has a vehicle, so no longer has to rely on me taking her to shows.

So, I am going to take some me time. I'll only take on projects that I really want to do. And, maybe, after the show tomorrow, I'll go to a show, and watch it like a normal person.

Shaunna's T-Shirt Shop

Shaunna Rai Sublimation Tee

While I was on my brief hiatus with the blog, Shaunna Rai and I have been working on some projects... the most important, being that she is now working with Drag Queen Merch, and is selling merchandise through their store.

Shaunna Rai's Sunglasses Tee

This has been kind of a big deal to me, because, quite frankly, it's something that I've been trying to make happen for a couple years...and, because I was the one to get in touch with them, ask them the questions to get the answers needed to make it happen, and because, essentially, all the artwork involved in the shirts went through me (and photoshop).  We started off small, knowing that we can always add to the store.

So, if you've ever wanted to get yourself some Shaunna Rai merchandise, or a printed version of one of my photos, go to the store, HERE, and order away! And, keep a lookout, because there will be more in the future...including at least one drawing that I will be doing of her...and potentially, down the road, she'll have a fan art contest for a t-shirt design as well...we tried once, but only really got one piece of art.

Both of the designs shown are also available as tank tops as well.

Who Cares About History?

A fight is being fought between Facebook and the drag and trans communities. People on Facebook have been reporting drag queens and trans people, interchangeably, for having fake profiles. When the original battle lines were drawn with Sister Roma and Facebook on opposite sides, it was potentially going to effect my world eventually. But, it hadn't hit anyone in the Maine drag community that hard.

I now understand the reason why Sister Roma fought so hard, and has continued to fight, and increase awareness that this is happening.

Over the last few weeks, the trend has hit the state of Maine.  And, many of them are starting fresh with like pages, because some douchebag decided that it would be fun to start screwing with people.

I have thoughts on who and why, but I will keep them to myself, because I have no proof. But, the fact of the matter, is, a lot of drama has been going on in show casting for a couple of upcoming shows. People have gotten mad at each other, and then, in an odd timing incident, people started getting reported to the Facebook police for having fake accounts. Over the last week, I have watched a majority of my friends try to fight to keep their names.

It all came to a head, last night, when I was on my way home from work. Then, it really hit home. I stopped to pick up a couple of things at a convenience store on my way to go pick up dinner. In the 10 minutes or so it took for me to go from one to the other, Shaunna Rai had posted something, and then, been reported and had her page removed for identity theft. Dan's page had been reported for identity theft as well, and he very nearly lost both accounts. So, when I went to look at the tagged post, it was unavailable. (At that point, I still had no idea that anything was going on.)

I picked up dinner, and went home. I was greeted at the door, with a slew of information, and a lot of misplaced anger and hostility. None of it was directed toward me, at least. But, taming Shaunna or Dan when they're angry is a feat in itself. Calming both at the same time...Good luck. It's pretty much impossible.

We ate, while I let Dan vent about what had happened. When it became clear that Shaunna's page was no longer even viewable, things began to sink in, for me.

Shaunna's career spans more than 20 years. Every picture that she had or had been tagged in has been lost. Every poster...gone. Every conversation she had going in regards to upcoming events was lost. It was like, in a matter of 10 minutes or so, Shaunna had been lost in a fire. Every bit of online history on Facebook is gone...and nobody had any way of contacting her, and she had no way of letting her almost 5000 followers know what had happened.

So, the best chance of getting Shaunna Rai back up and running, was to create a like page for her. Because she was trying to put out spot fires in group and individual chats, and was pissed off enough that she could have spewed forth fire if she had tried, she didn't really want anything to do with the creation of the new page. So, it fell to me to get it all set up.

Fortunately, with the blog being a like page, I more or less knew what needed to be done to set up Shaunna's new page. Then, it was up to me to show Dan how to run the page from both the computer and the page manager app on his phone.

There are a few things that I know he's going to hate about it...first and foremost, the fact that they seem a lot less interactive than, say, your average personal page. And, you have to remind your audience to click for notifications to be alerted when something new is posted.

But, there are also things I think he's going to like about it. Biggest is that you can schedule posts ahead of time, so you can have your page running even if you're not around. (And, if he agrees to it, I can become an admin, and fix up some of the typos on the page, so people can't claim that they need a translator.)

However, even with the new page, unless we can get in touch with everyone whose pictures were on Shaunna's old page, that part of her history is gone. And, she's not the only one. Cherry Lemonade was the first Maine Queen to lose hers. Prodigy Diamond, Sheneeda Diet, Shaunna Rai and Envy Chanel have all had to start fresh. And, a number of others are still in the midst of fighting to keep their names and histories.

The reason I started this blog was as a way to keep track of the history of Maine drag since I became a part of that world. But, unfortunately, that only goes back 4 years. Anything prior to that is gone.

I don't usually get angry, but this really has me pissed off. I don't get violent, but I want to hit stuff or people. I want to make whoever did this understand that this was in no way okay for them to do. I want them to understand that if I find out for sure who it was that they will be called out as a traitor, publicly.

Whoever it was that did it, obviously doesn't care about friendship. They've earned themself a spot in the special hell created for drag performers who caused themselves to be iced out by every other performer in the area. I hope it was worth it to you.

Art Walk LA

At the end of the night at the Cancer Schmancer show, I was approached about submitting artwork to the Lewiston/Auburn Art Walk. It was totally out of the blue, and unexpected. But, Grayling asked me specifically to participate,  and show off my photography work.

Scarrlett 

Because most any kind of exposure is good exposure, I figured that I would try it. It would do one of two things...it would make me feel better about being an artist, or it would make me decide never to do it again. The whole time, my mind went back and forth about the ultimate outcome.

Deadlines flew at me, and at the last minute, it was a scramble to narrow down my thousands upon thousands of pictures to just 15.

Wanting to do things right, I did a mass tag of Facebook friends who I have photographed in the past in hopes that a few of them would say yes. The response was overwhelmingly yes, with a few, "yes, but let me see it first. I just want to approve of it."

Jacinda

Once I got all the approvals, I saved all the pictures to my desktop to save to a memory card, to take to be printed. In the meantime, I had Dan go to Goodwill to pick me up frames...which he did with little to no knowledge of what I was using for pictures. The night before delivery, I literally was finishing putting the pictures in the frames, hoping that it was all going to work out ok. 

Porcia Chanel

The night of delivery, almost didn't happen. Dan and Larry (Shaunna Rai and Leanna Love) had taken a trip to Boston in Dan's new (used) car. As I was getting ready to take the pictures to the venue, at 46 Lisbon Street, I got a call from Dan. "Hey, I know you have to drop off your pictures,  but we need to get a tow, and a ride home, we're broken down outside of the Massachusetts and New Hampshire border, by the bridge that they're fixing that I always mess with you about."

So while waiting for a message to see if I could get in to drop the pictures off earlier,  I made phone calls, and got the tow on the way. I dropped off the pictures, and made a flying trip to Massachusetts...it all turned out ok, except for the car, which was kind of a lemon.

Rainbow Frite

After much freaking out, because I had submitted 14 photos, and only delivered 13, because I had forgotten to save the final one on the laptop, I ended up with it in hand for the night of the walk.

I didn't know what to expect from the space, as it was an abandoned looking shop front, which, incidentally,  happened to be where my mom purchased her wedding gown. (Talk about a small world, right?) I waited outside for the doors to open, after grabbing the clipboard and lanyard, that said I was an official volunteer for the night.

Shaunna Rai

Finally the space opened, we got my final piece situated and food and drink set out, and people started arriving. Our venue had boxed wine, and I knew that if I was going to make this better for myself, I at least needed one glass of wine, to keep from being the guy standing in the corner trying to be as small as possible so nobody would talk to me.

The wine worked.  I was sharing the space with another photographer, who does landscape type photography and what she called her "twirl" photos (when you focus the camera on something and then twist it, making it look like you were rolling when you took the picture.  She had also come out to volunteer. The other lady, who was showing, did not come out, but had three paintings on display.

Leanna Love

The first few people who came through, just looked around, like they were in an art gallery, then left. Ivy, the other photographer and I, started talking about our work to each other. I was surprised that none of her stuff was for sale, because it was really good. She told me that her goal was to let people see what they could do themselves, with Goodwill frames and a point and shoot camera. That was why she wasn't going to sell them. Well, that along with the feeling that art is a very personal thing, and sometimes it's hard to part with.

Cecelia Grace

She asked me, and I was asked many times through the night, how I got into the field of portraiture. I did a bunch of plugging for the blog, which as of now, appears to not have done any good...(Probably because, with everything I remembered,  the business cards were what I forgot.) I went on to explain that the pictures had chosen had been my favorites out of a ton of choices over the last four years or so.

Miss E,on

People finally started asking me questions, or just talking to me. One gentleman, an older guy, I had to correct his terminology, and explain the difference between drag, cross dressing and transgender. This was a very long conversation. He had heard a story on NPR, about a drag queen, who became addicted to her drag personal so much, that she basically had to kill her drag career, to keep her real life. (It seemed far fetched to me, but, what do I know. Stranger things have happened.) We then moved on to trans women. He told me the story of a professor at Bowdoin College (I think) who had written a book about her transition, and this gentleman thought that the whole thing was amazing. I thought it was cool that he told me the story.  He eventually moved on, and left.

Lili Whiteass

A bear couple (for anyone not in the know, a burly, gay couple, presumably with a lot of body hair, and usually facial hair) came up and told me how great the pictures were, and asked where they could see a show, without having to drive all the way to Portland. They explained that they had moved from down in the south (Baltimore, I think), where they could go to a show anytime they wanted. I explained that the drag scene in Maine is dwindling, but promoted an upcoming show at the Elks Club in Lewiston. I'm hoping to see them there.

Diamond Dunhill

There were a lot of people who legit thought that all the pictures were of real women. There were a few who, upon realizing that the pictures they were looking at were male, turned and booked it out of the venue. And, an overwhelming amount of people who either knew the queens or had actually been to the shows. These were the ones I enjoyed talking to the most. These were the people asking how did you get such good pictures, and where can I see them in person? I took that time to plug upcoming shows, and lament the lack of shows in the area. This was when I realized that I want to do something about the lack of drag in Maine. (Not that I know what to do, where to start, or how to make something happen, but it gave me a starting point. )

Cherry Lemonade

As the night wore down, and came to a close, I stopped for a minute to think about all the stuff I had accomplished. First, I had a showing of my work, for the first time ever. Second, I did all of it on my own. Third, I talked about what I do with total strangers, and didn't get much of a negative response. And, last, but certainly not least...I'd on fact, most important, I had a hell of a lot of fun. And kind of want to do it again next year.

Bunny Wonderland

Yes, occasionally, I need someone to light a fire under my ass, to get me going. And, there's a good possibility that I may buck it the whole way, because I'm scared. But, I really need to just remember that I am my own worst enemy, and that I need to just do things, instead of worry about the bad things that could happen. Because, truthfully, the things I worry about rarely come to fruition,  and then I've spent so much energy worrying that I have none when it comes time to have fun.

ClubKid MizzDiveena

Oh, and Bunny Wonderland, just so you know, this picture of you actually sold.  Granted, it was to my mom, but...

Good Morning, Baltimore!

Penny and Seaweed.

Tracy and Edna

"What are you guys doing Wednesday night?"

It's staggering how little Dan and I are invited out. Usually, we're promoting someone else's thing,  and inviting people to come out to it.

So, when we were invited to a closed dress rehearsal of the Portland Players doing Hairspray, I wanted to make the effort to go.

Now, when it comes to drag related stuff I'm usually pretty on top of things. I knew of Hairspray, because I watched the movie version with John Travolta as Edna Turnblad, but, aside from clips of Divine in the original role, I was totally ignorant of the Divine version.

So, going into the play, I didn't know what to expect. After all, local theater tends to be a little...flat, I think, compared to professional theater.  And, having no idea who was even in the play, I really just went to have a fun date night with Dan.  It took a lot of self-control to leave my camera home.

The play started and I was amazed at the actors. They were good. Most fit their parts quite well. A few of the characters I liked, because, you're supposed to, like Tracy. I was totally entranced by Edna, because the actor brought something to the role that John Travolta just didn't. Dan said that he was channeling Divine. (I played along like I knew what that meant, then admitted that I had never seen the original.) The characters of Penny Pingleton and her mother, were standouts in this version. Mrs. Pingleton was a company actor, so we got to see her in three completely different roles. The best of which, was as the gym teacher. When it came to Penny, the transformation from geeky sidekick to made over, integrated girlfriend of Seaweed, it was amazing. She kind of stole the show from Tracy.

During the break, Dan and I both discussed how weird it was to be at a show as audience members. Which shows just how much life has changed for me over the last few years. A few years ago, I never would have thought of taking a camera with me to any show I went to...and here I was, at times watching the official photographer, thinking, "Why would you take that from there, when it would be a much better picture from center stage?" And, well, Dan being out as a boy, and Shaunna Rai not being part of anything, it was weird for him too.

On the way home, the only criticism we had for the show was, Edna should've had boobs. Big, gigantic boobs. And Dan talked about what he would've done with the hair. Given that the play is about big hair and the hair was a major player in both the play and the movie, they could've done so much more...And part of that, is that he's a hairdresser, and lives for that kind of thing...thus the reason that he has a whole room in the apartment devoted to Shaunna Rai's hair.

The show was a great time, and quite well done. It plays through the first week of June at the Portland Players, on Cottage St. in So. Portland.

Upon leaving we thanked Steven and Michael, who had invited us to the show. It'd been forever since we'd had a date night, and this was a good one. And, it gave me a task, as well...to watch the original.

So, two nights after seeing the play, we decided that it was time for me to get taught about "the real Hairspray."  Not really understanding that the movie version with Divine and Ricki Lake came before the musical, I spent a good portion of the movie waiting for someone to bust out in song.

It was amazing, seeing what started it all. Divine was believable as a woman. It was so funny. And, I was excited that I could finally cross one movie off my list of movies that I should've seen by now, but haven't.  And, while I will always have a love for Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle, Divine as Edna has moved the original to the list of movies that I will watch again and again.

They Had Style, They Had Grace...

Augusta Gray, was an
inspiration for Shaunna Rai's
look.

For the last three years, I have heard name after name, of queens that I will never meet.  Ashley, Marlena, and Augusta Gray, amongst them.  They represent, (for lack of better terminology) the Golden Age of Drag, in Maine.  Back when Styxx was the Underground, back when Shaunna Rai was still a baby, back when there were Gay Bars, from Ogunquit to Bangor.

Over the last twenty years, a lot has changed.  There are no longer any Gay Bars north of Portland.  The Underground has changed hands multiple times, and is now Styxx, (and a bar that was once the talk of the town, is now struggling to fill itself.)  Shaunna Rai has been doing drag for...well, let's just say, that Shaunna Rai is of legal drinking age now...

As long as I've known Shaunna,
Marlena's name has been brought
up many times.

I'll still never meet many of the queens from that Golden Age.  But, this week, something happened, that's going to help me get to know who these girls were.  And, I'm going to get to know the faces that go with the names.  And, eventually, hopefully, I'll get the stories that go along with the faces and names.  At the beginning of the week, I was invited to join a group on Facebook, called Famous Drag Queens of Maine.  A group, that I'm really sad that I didn't think to create... This group is both a blessing and a curse.  While I'm getting to know the queens that I will never meet, and meeting some of the ones that I still have the opportunity to meet, I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Ashley Nason is another name that
I have heard brought up a ton.

I decided, when I got my tax refund, that I needed to get a printer, that had a scanner.  (Talk about foreshadowing...) Once the group was up and running, Dan told me that there was a box in the closet that was full of drag pictures from years ago.  So, I made it my job to go through all the photographs, and scan them, so that they can get posted to the group, eventually.

When he said some, I figured, a couple of rolls worth of film.  I didn't really consider the fact that there would be 21 plus years worth of pictures to go through.  Nor did I consider that it would take, literally, forever to go through all the pictures, and scan and separate and post them.

So far, the photo history is there, but the actual verbal/written history is not.  Part of the goal of the group, in my opinion, is to not only honor the queens who have been a part of Maine's history in images, but also to let them live on in memories.  Someone like me, who doesn't know any of the history prior to three years or so ago, has no idea what Sportsman's was.  I don't know Augusta Gray or Regina.  Without a page like this, I would never know their histories.

Miss JoAnn, circa 1969.

In a week, I learned about Regina, a queen who only performed for HIV/AIDS benefits, after her partner passed away from it.  What made her unique, was that prior to her partner's death, she had no interest in doing drag.  She did it, as a way to carry on his legacy, and support a cause that was near and dear to her.

I have seen pictures of Miss JoAnn, who I actually do know, that go all the way back to 1969.  I've seen pictures of ClubKid MizzDiveena, when she was doing fishy drag, instead of the more severe ClubKid face that she does now.  I have seen queens who look like boys in dresses.  I have seen queens who look so feminine, that you would never believe that they weren't women.  And, I've seen the transformation of 20+ years of Shaunna Rai's existence.

Drag families, that I had no idea existed, have been emerging, and giving me many a name to research a little more...just because it's something that I can't seem to get enough of.

Ashley, Shaunna and Marlena made up the ISG.

I may be a little obsessed with the group, because, I'm spending more time refreshing the page, to look at what new pictures, or anecdotes have been posted since the last time I looked.  (Yes, I know, I have a problem.)  

And, now that I have names and faces of people who were part of Shaunna Rai's past, I can open up the playing field a little bit about what I know about the time before me.  

I'm a couple of keyboard strokes away from

 being able to ask Shaunna's creator about putting her in drag for the first time, and seeing now, how far that she has come from her origins.  I can ask people about Ashley and Marlena, two thirds (Shaunna Rai being the last third) of ISG (International Show Girls) and try to get a little more information about why it was called ISG, and what it was exactly that they did.

In what has become an attempt at documenting the present of drag, I now have a whole new source of information and inspiration, to keep things fresh and new. And, I might just learn a thing or two about the years of history, that only those who have lived it, know.

Thank you for creating this group. And thank you to every contributor to the page. And, if you have, or know of anyone who has pictures and/or stories about any of the queens, kings, etc. who have played a part in this state's history, please, share and help keep these memories alive. 

Who Are You? (I Really Wanna Know)

The best advice that I've ever heard given to anyone, is "Be the best you, that you can be."  It's so simple, that it takes very little thought to get the meaning.  Over the last few years, I've actually heard a number of "newer" queens say that they got this tidbit of advice from Shaunna Rai.

Like with any good actor, a drag queen has a character that they play.  You design your act around the character, and you dress and accessorize accordingly.  Surprisingly, though, many of the queens that I know, don't really know who they are.  And, it shows.

My first time in drag, I didn't have a name, but
I had a character...a hairy chested Britney Spears wannabe.
(Because I forgot to shave my chest.)

Why don't you know who you are?

You're on your third name, and you expect people to know who you are?  Your face changes every time you perform, but yet, you don't think that you look any different?  You're on stage, and you look like you want to run and hide in the furthest corner of the building.  What's going on?  But, I have no drag family...

I get it.  Drag is hard.

You're on your third name, because you didn't like the first two.  I get that.  But, every time that you change your name, you have to expect there to be an adjustment period, when people are going to get used to your new name.  I can think of at least three queens that I know, whose names have changed, since I've known them.  In all three cases, I agree with them, that the new name is more fitting than the previous names.  But, people are still going to refer to them as their previous name(s).  The longer you've had a name, the harder it's going to be to break people of calling you by that name.  If I decide today that I'm going to change my name to Willis (for the sole purpose of making sure that people will say, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?") it's going to take forever for it to take hold.  Especially with anyone who has known me for the majority of my life.  To them, I will always be Steve, and never be Willis.

Spice Andrews was a pretty girl, who sang live.  And, had
no self-confidence.  I was terrified.  I got halfway through
my song, before I realized that mic wasn't even on.  And
was told later, that the number was better when the mic
was off.  Not a great way to get introduced to doing drag.

You want to look like Nina Flowers.  You want to look like Raven.  You want to look like Tammie Brown.  You do realize that none of them look like the other?  They're completely different looks.  It's great to be able to have the looks in the bag, if there's a reason for them.  It's good to play with different looks, to see what looks best on you.  Play around with your makeup to tutorials on YouTube.  But, figure out who your character is.  Work with your face, and get the look how you want it.  Then, you can take a piece of Nina and a piece of Raven and a piece of Tammie.  But, if you show up for a show once looking like Raven, and the next time, looking like Tammie, and the next, looking like Nina, nobody's going to recognize you.  Unless the character that you're portraying, in drag is a chameleon, your face probably shouldn't change as often as your underwear.

So, you settled on a character.  You settled on a face, and you've made it into a show.  Congratulations!  The hard parts over, right?  Well, not really.  You see, from the perspective of someone who goes to A LOT of drag shows, the audience can tell if you're not comfortable.  I'm a horrible person to be around, when I watch a performance with no confidence level.  If you look like you're going to pass out, or are trying to decide whether to run away or not, I'm going to be able to tell, and you'll probably be able to tell that I can tell, by whatever is written on my face.  (I have no poker face.  Unlike Lady Gaga, "You can read my, can read my poker face...")  When you hit the stage, even if you're terrified, Fake It.  The more the audience thinks that you're comfortable doing, whatever it is that you do, the better it is for everyone.  I'm more apt to talk about how amazing you were if I know it's your first show, and you rock it out, than I am, if you've been doing drag for years, and look like you would rather be anywhere else than where you are.  If you look scared, etiquette says that I tell you you did great, and pretend like I didn't know how horrible it was for you.

So, your drag mother made you up, and then dropped you on the doorstep of a bar, and took off, never to be heard from again.  What's a girl to do?  She creates her own family, of course.  The gay community tends to do this a lot anyway.  So, follow the lead.  Drag mother did you up once, and then pushed you out of the nest, with a wig, lipstick and a dress?  Meet others in the area.  A word of advice though, if you're asking them for help, don't expect all of it to come for free.  Drag is an expensive hobby job.  You get what you pay for.  Every time you ask the fishy queen to help you out, and expect her to do it for free, it's probably not going to happen.  That's how you force people away, quickly.  And, when you have someone who will do it for free, they're not always going to be doing exactly what you want.  So, be careful what you wish for, because, quite frankly, you could end up getting it, and it won't be quite what you wanted.

When Dan did my makeup, there was no character
as I was just a model.  But, a Kathy Griffin look ended
up emerging at the end, after trying on a few different
wigs.

And, if someone is kind enough to take the time to help you out, get you into a show, or whatever, be respectful of them.   Nothing will get you blacklisted faster than having a pro get you, the new queen in town into a show, and then having you cancel an hour before the show.  And, if you've been doing drag for a minute, and you're being helped by someone who's done it for 20 years or more, at least do them the honor of listening to them, without trying to tell them what they're saying.  It stands to reason, and shouldn't have to be said, but it is amazing how many new queens think that they know more than their predecessors.  (Hint:  You really don't.  Hell, I really don't, either.)

  This is just stuff that I've gleaned off people in the last few years.  Thank you to Shaunna Rai and Cherry Lemonade for contributing most of this stuff in conversations we've had.  And, whether you're an old pro, or new to the scene, take each other into consideration.  Newbies are going to be looking for someone to take them under their wings, and teach them everything there is to know about drag.  And the old pros are going to more often than not give the help that's being requested of them, but if there's no respect for what's being passed along, that fountain of knowledge is going to dry up, and then you have to start the search for it all over again.

But, what do I know, I'm just a drag husband.

Feel free to share this, or to follow it, or to ignore it. Do what you like with it.



And, wherever you are in your journey through drag, just know that you've got someone out there rooting for you.

She's A Super Freak...

Recently, I came across a heated argument on a friend's Facebook page, about why he would ever want to do drag.  At first glance, I wanted to step in and throw in my two cents worth, about why it wasn't okay that these two people were bullying this person.

As with everything I do in my life, I don't react, without doing my research first.  My first response to reading it was that this person was being bullied about something that I know a bunch about...second-hand.  Until I read a little further along.  It turned out, that there was bullying from both sides.  This one's picking on why you would want to dress like a woman if you're a man.  And the "bullied" person, was picking out pieces of the first person's life to make into a big deal.

Who's right, in this case?  NOBODY.  Bullying is bullying, no matter who does it.  If someone else starts it, and you "finish it," it doesn't make you any better than they are.  It puts you on their level.  So, save yourself the hassle.  If you want to be able to claim bullying, don't join in on it.

Now, why would anyone, in their right mind, want to do drag?

This was the turning point, in reading the argument, for me.  This was where I lost respect for the person "being bullied."  When someone asks you, point-blank, why you're doing something, and you refuse to answer, on the grounds of "it's a free country," you're doing yourself a disservice.

The experience of it is different for everyone.  For some people, it's because they want the attention.  For some, it's because it gives them a chance to be someone who they're not, who can say and do the things that they would never get away with in real life.  For some, it's because they want to feel pretty.

 I did it, for a charity event.  For me, it was very uncomfortable.  I didn't mind the dressing up, and pretending to be someone else...but, I had a hard time with the performance part.  When it came down to it, I needed anti-anxiety pills to help me get through it.  Would I, knowing what I know about drag now, ever do it again?  Maybe.  It would need to be under the right circumstances, and I would need to know that the reason that I did it was for something worthwhile.  And, I would choose to do something a bit less stressful for myself.  When I did my "act," I sang live, in front of a bunch of people I knew.  (With no practice.)  I would probably lip sync if I did it again...and I would need to get some dance lessons...And, I would have to sparkle, like a goddamn disco ball.

Dan, on the other hand, gets into Shaunna Rai, on a regular basis, sometimes even multiple times during the same week.  For him, it's about knowing that he looks good.  He knows that he can do hair and makeup.  And, he knows that people are going to say that he looks beautiful, which is a compliment that he doesn't always get in the "real world."

The best advice that I could give to the bullied person, would be to stand up for what you believe in.  If you want to do drag for a career, then get your head out of your ass, and start letting people know that these are the reasons that I do this.  (Although, keep in mind, that "Because I can walk in bigger heels than your girlfriend," or "Because I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and more of a woman than you'll ever have," are pretty much fighting words.)  If you do drag because you feel like you have more freedom to do what you want, say it.  If it's because you feel ugly as a boy, but pretty as a girl (or vice versa) let them know that too.

If someone asks you to be open with them, so that they can understand, where you're coming from, that's not the time to get defensive toward them.  That will just further add to the hatred, fear and violence that is already prevalent enough in the LGBT community.

I started this blog, to help people understand drag in a way that hasn't really been explored before.  Knowledge is power.  Take back some of your power, and put the knowledge to use by helping other people understand.  Because, that, my friends, is the one thing that is going to eventually get us over the hump, and allow everyone the freedom to be who they want to be, where they want to be, when they want to be.  And that, is when we win.

Chad Sell is my Hero...

Latrice Royale

At the beginning of the year, I decided that this was going to be a year to try to keep up on blogging, and try to crank out as many posts as I could.  But, I wanted them to be worth-while.  I figured I would keep with the posts about the shows that I go to, and random things that pop into my head that have to do with drag.  So, it seemed fitting that I talk about an artistic idol of mine, who is best known for his RuPaul's Drag Race girls' portraits.

The question became, how do I tackle this?  Do I just write about how much I love his artwork, and leave it at that?  And, then, during an overnight, the thought hit me...I learned of Chad Sell through Facebook, so I could probably contact him the same way. I don't know exactly what it was about the work that I loved, whether it was the cartoon feel of the illustrations, or just the graphic way of capturing the costumes and personality quirks of the queens, but from Roxxy Andrews's fringe dress illustration, I was hooked.  And I've looked forward to each new season, for the new illustrations.

So, in the middle of the night, I took a shot in the dark and sent him a message. I honestly didn't think that I would hear back from him, so I was very surprised when I got a response a few hours later.  Even more so, when the answer was a yes, both to being able to use some of his artwork in a blog post, and to answering some of my questions.

With the beginning of Season 7 of RuPaul's Drag Race, being just around the corner, and the fact that I put in my requests right at the end of his annual Week Of Ru (when he posts daily, two of the queens from the new season, until the whole cast is revealed) , I wasn't concerned with how soon I got back the answers to my questions.  I was still basking in the fact that my hero actually answered me.

Immediately, after sending him the questions, I remembered that he has a blog on his website, and went to it immediately, to try to ascertain that I wasn't asking questions that he had already answered on his own site.  (After about 3 hours of trolling his site, that night, I didn't find anything that was quite what I asked, so I figured I was safe.)  I also reinforced my love of his artwork, by checking out his older blog posts.  There are so many illustrations that I am in love with, and would have loved to feature here, but, I'm featuring pictures that I got his express permission as an artist to use.

After what felt like a year (and was in fact only about 2 weeks), I got the response to my questions.  I'm sure that he's probably asked most of these questions on a regular basis, but he was very gracious about answering them all for me.  So, here are the answers, to my most burning questions.

When the episodes start airing, how do you decide which queens to draw?

After I watch each episode, I start sketching out ideas for my favorite runway looks and moments.  I tend toward the more theatrical, outrageous outfits with bold colors and shapes which lend themselves to my style the best.  

Delta Work's First Workroom Look.

I often start with rough sketches for a lot of the queens, but I winnow down that number throughout my day of drawing as I run out of time.  There are frequently queens and outfits I *wish* I had drawn, but I just couldn't figure out a cool way to draw them in the time I had!

(Because I draw some myself, I'm always most interested in finding out how other people's artistic process works.)

What does your process look like? (Do you sketch on paper, or do you do it all on the computer?)  From initial sketch to final product, about how long does it take you? And, what program(s) do you use?

Depending on my moood, I'll either sketch out my ideas in a sketchbook or on my computer.  My process has changed a lot over the years, but these days, I do most of my work on a tablet monitor attached to my desktop.  I draw in a program called Manga Studio 5, which I love and evangelize to all my artist friends.

Following the Monday night airing of each episode, I give myself all of Tuesday to work on that week's pieces. I make final touches the next morning and try to post my work by around noon Wednesday.

Some pieces come together really quickly, and other frustrate me endlessly.  I fuss over likenesses and color palette at the end.  The self-imposed deadline helps me keep things in perspective, though, and it helps shut up my inner perfectionist.

The most important question, of course was: Were you surprised by how popular the RuGirls' portraits have become?

Yes. It's awesome.

I have my own favorites, including the Latrice Royale picture at the start of this post.  So, I was curious:  Do you have a favorite portrait?

BenDeLaCreme: Black and White

I'm always my own worst critic, so there are usually little things that bug me about a lot of my work.  That's true of even some of my most popular pieces!  I'll always be particularly fond of the very first Drag Race portrait I ever finished of Delta Work's first workroom look.  Something about my All-Stars portrait of Latrice Royale still sticks with me.  And, I was really happy with how BenDeLaCreme's "Black and White" portrait came out -- she's one of my all-time favorite queens and I was trying to depict her with a sense of grace and intensity.  It's definitely not one of my most popular images, but I love it, anyway.

Any responses from the RuGirls, that I've seen online have been overwhelmingly positive, so I had to know, if there have ever been any negative responses from them.

I feel supremely lucky to have been embraced by the Drag Race queens and community -- every season brings new thrills, excitement and favorite new queens.  

I don't recall any negative responses from the actual queens on the Drag Race, though.  I think their approach to fans making art of them is to appreciate the effort, even if the final result isn't always very flattering.

A Self Portrait by Chad

 As he had just finished the Week of Ru, with the new Season 7 girls, I had to ask...Any predictions or hopes for Season 7?

I HAVE NO IDEA.  This is the first season where I personally knew some of the queens before they were cast.  So, that's weird and crazy. (Trixie Mattel and Pearl have both performed extensively in Chicago, and I've gotten to meet both.)

To me it's not so much important that all my favorite queens make it far in the competition. I just hope that they're depicted well and get a chance to show what they've got!

When it came to advice for budding artists, Chad's advice was this:

1. Get good.
2. Don't expect to be the best before you put your work out there.
3.  Find others who are excited by the same stuff you are.  Make art about that stuff, and they'll be excited about it, too.

Be sure to check out his website, www.chadsellcomics.com, during the Drag Race season, because he'll be featuring lots of fun interviews about the show, as well as his own thoughts and illustrations of the queens.

Books, postcards and prints of all his best Drag Race work are available at his Etsy store, https://www.etsy.com/ChadSellComics

And, aside from his illustration work, he's also written and drawn a ton of different comic stories, which can all be read at http://www.chadsellcomics.com/comics/.

You can also follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/panja57
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chadsellcomics

If you're not following him and his work already, I suggest you do.  It's fun.  And, now that you have some of the inside secrets of what goes into the illustrations, keep an eye out for the Season 7 illustrations.

Chad, thank you again for your cooperation, and for being so sweet and responding to a crazy fan interview.  

An Evening With Danielle Dior

The host for the night,
Danielle Dior.

So, the night started out with me in a panic, that I wasn't going to make it to the show.  It was pretty much, in my mind, a case of, I wish I'd known sooner.

When I finally left work, on time, for once, it was with the expectation of arriving back in Portland at the end of the show, with nothing to do, but go home and go to bed.  The drive was long and boring.  And, finally, I made it back to Portland...where the roads were iffy, because we were still digging out from a storm that left a couple feet of snow.

Madame Sheena

I got to Styxx and Shaunna Rai was there, talking with a couple of people that we know.  I got a drink, and proceeded with talking about my frustrating day at work, with a co-worker, who had a hard time keeping track of residents. And, I was reminded that I smile, a lot.  My parents came up in conversation, about how accepting and supportive they are.

Lo and behold, the show had yet to start.  By the time the announcement was made that the show would be starting in five minutes, I think I'd gone through half my drink... Cherry Lemonade made a point of welcoming me to the show...and it made me smile, because who doesn't like a personal "Thanks for coming."

Cherry Lemonade in an Adore
Delano inspired look.

I'd smuggled my camera in, because, well, that's what I do.  I'm the picture guy.  And, for whatever reason, I want to document the drag that I see.  They're all the Candy Darlings, to my Andy Warhol.  (If you don't get the reference, Google it.)

The show started, and I had to say, it was a little odd to me.  Danielle is a Blackstones girl.  I hear, back in the day, when Styxx was the Underground, that Danielle was there a lot.  But, as long as I've known Danielle, it's been rare to see her out at Styxx, much less, performing there.  Danielle always starts the show off, with a thank you to us, the audience, for being there, and then goes into her first number.

Danielle Dior

Shaunna commented that she loved Danielle's outfit, and Cherry Lemonade came over and sat with us for a few minutes, before heading to the back to get ready for her number.

Madame Sheena was up next. I always enjoy her performances...although, my camera, doesn't as much.  She's a fast mover, and the camera tends to have a hard time focusing on her.

Madame Sheena

Cherry Lemonade came out for her number, looking like Adore Delano.  I loved the look.  She used the cage on the dance floor in her number.  At the end of the number, she took the mic, and reintroduced Danielle, for her second number.

Cherry Lemonade working
the Stripper Pole

Sheena came back out for her second number, and Cherry was back out for her second number.  This was one of the more memorable numbers for the night, because, well, the Stripper Pole.  While there was no upside down hanging, Cherry worked the pole, and I was happy to see that I got some cool pictures of it.

Danielle as Liza Minelli

Danielle came out for her next to last number.  I was a little disappointed, because initially, the DJ started playing the Madonna version of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina," in error.  The correct song was actually a Liza medley.

Madame Sheena

At this point in the show, I was apparently, in the photo zone.  Why do I say that?  Well, for one, I'd taken probably 1100 pictures at this point.  (I took advantage of the settings that I'd found before the last show.)  But, apparently, at some point, about halfway through the number, there was a wardrobe malfunction.  When editing the pictures later, I was very much distracted by Danielle's nipple staring me in the face in about 100 pictures or so.

Danielle Dior

Sheena did one more number, and Danielle came out for her final number.  And, just like that, the show was over.

I sometimes wonder if the shows actually go so fast for the performers as they do for me.  I think part of it has to do with the fact that I'm focused on things, usually, other than enjoying myself.  (Not that I give up the enjoyment of the show, for the pictures, because that's totally not the case.)  I'm just usually more in the zone of point and shoot, than watch, tip, enjoy, repeat.

But, I have to admit, sometimes it pays off to be the guy who zones out by taking pictures.  On the way out, I mentioned to Josh (the bar owner) that I had taken a ton of pictures.  He told me to make sure to post them, and he'd make sure that next time I was there, I got a drink or two on the house, as payment.  Not a bad deal, for something that I would've done for free anyway.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina...

...because, the Truth is, I don't promote you...

Drag is a dying art in the state of Maine.  Shows are becoming more and more of a rarity, and they're a surprise, when they actually happen.

Styxx, last weekend, hosted: An Evening with Danielle Dior.  I found out about the show about a week before it was supposed to happen.  And, given that I definitely didn't have time to get the time off for the show, I figured that it wasn't going to be one that I would make it to.  Surprisingly, due to the time warp that is caused by drag, I was able to get out of work, and back to Portland, in time to make it to the show.

But, it got me thinking.  The lack of shows, is compounded by the fact that gay bars in general, in the state of Maine, are not doing well.  And, as someone who has been doing a lot of promoting, and making promotional materials, to use online, or printed out, as hand outs, I have a few suggestions...again.

After hearing from Mimi Imfurst, that Styxx knew, months in advance that Mimi was going to be coming to do her show, why is it that we only got a poster a few weeks before the show?  Why would you not, as soon as you book a show, get promotional materials together?

I get that gathering together all the information, a month or more in advance, is a hassle, but promotion is your friend.  If you can't promote, you can't bring people in.  If you can't bring people in, you lose money.  If you lose money, your bar closes.  It's as simple as that.  Take the time, get the information together, and get a responsible graphic artist to throw something together.  I'm always game for making a poster.  It gets my work out there. It gets your event out there.  It's a win-win for us both.  (BTW, if you're interested in poster work, email me, for pricing details.)  The longer you have your promotional stuff out there, the more people will see it, and potentially, the more people you will get to your events.

Truth be told, making a poster or flyer for a show, really doesn't take long.  An hour, if you have all the information ready up front, maybe two.  There's probably a few adjustments that will need to be made.  But, nothing major, unless the artist and the patron have completely different ideas about what the material should look like.  (Occasionally, it does happen.)

I want to make it clear, that this is not just an issue with Styxx.  This is an issue with multiple venues for shows.  Styxx just happened to be the catalyst for the post. Queens get frustrated with the bars, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  Bars get frustrated with the queens, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  If you give the queens and the bars a chance to advertise the shows, there is potential for much more business...especially, given the fact that the queens I hang out with, often end up having drinks bought for them, by audience members.  This can only be good for the bars.  Especially, since half the time, the performing queens are not getting paid for the shows, or they're getting paid very little.

RANT OVER:

I Still Get Jealous...

Shauna Rai, photo by Lauren Kennedy

It's no secret that at times, I am totally jealous of Shaunna Rai. Today (Sunday) gave me yet another reason to be jealous.
Today was a photo shoot with a local photographer, Lauren Kennedy.

Dan got up early, to get Shaunna together, for a 10:30 am appointment. I slept in, if you can consider sleeping until 8:30 am sleeping in. By the time I got up, Shaunna was already taking shape.

We got to the location for the shoot, Lauren's mother's house, before Lauren. She'd gone to get coffee.  She was back minutes after we got there, but, not before I was convinced that I was at the wrong house.

Lauren showed us in, and let us know kind of what to expect from the shoot. She had some questions for Shaunna about drag, that came out, throughout the shoot. 

Shaunna Rai,
photo by Lauren Kennedy

The first question was about pronouns, a topic that I feel like I'm relatively well versed in. I was glad I didn't try to answer for Shaunna, though, when she gave her answer. "Some people want you to use the pronoun that fits how they look. I, personally don't care either way. If you call me Dan when I'm Shaunna, I'll look. Just like if you call me Shaunna when I'm Dan, I'll look. To me it doesn't really make a difference, they're both me."  She then talked about how there are some queens, such as Mizery, who she has known for decades, but has no idea what Mizery's actual name is.

While Shaunna got into the first outfit, I talked with Lauren about whether it would be okay for me to take pictures of her taking pictures, for the blog. She said that would be fine, and encouraged me to get up and take pictures while she took hers.

"If you could turn this way..."

The first round of shots were to get the lighting right. As everything was being shot with a digital camera, I took adadvantage of being able to see the pictures as they were taken.  Once these shots were taken, she went to town. I thought that I took a lot of pictures,  as my average per show is about 100-150 useable shots...I'm sure that the total was well over twice that of shots in general.  Between having the vision and the speed with which the camera recovered from the flash, I was super jealous.


Lauren asked Shaunna about Drag Mothers. What are they,  exactly,  and are you one? Shaunna is drag mother to Jacinda, although,  she tries to avoid saying that she's anyone's drag mother. She would much prefer to be referred to as their "fairy drag mother," as Bunny Wonderland once called her.

Red Ribbon Gown, 
photo by Lauren Kennedy

For a little bit,  I got to play Shaunna's personal assistant...helping with costume changes, getting jewelry ready for this shot or that, and a couple times, I jumped to keep the lights from falling on someone. Oh, and a couple times, I ran to shoo Lauren's cats out of Shaunna's suitcase.

As Lauren posed Shaunna,  I often was looking at the pose from a much different angle, and had no idea how the picture was going to look good.  "Put your hand like this, but away from your face." What I saw made no sense, but apparently, translated much better from where she was standing.

"Just like that."

During another costume change, Lauren asked me about what I do...aside from writing the blog.  I explained about being a DSP and working in a group home.  And, lo and behold, she had actually done DSP work, as an ovenight staff.  I often forget how many agencies there are that provide long term and/or short term care for people.  And, it's always nice to be able to talk about my job, when I'm talking to someone who has actually done the work before, because they can understand some of the frustrations that other people may not.

Shaunna came back out, in the last outfit, and after what seemed like a million pictures,  the shoot was over. I was a little sad, because there were so many outfits that Shaunna had brought along, that never got used.  I jokingly said later, that Lauren just wanted to shoot Shaunna naked.

One of my shots of Shaunna Rai

Lauren who had been using her laptop to bring up a Pinterest board with pictures that she was using for inspiration for the shoot, took the memory card, and started uploading the images into her laptop, asking Shaunna to go through and mark the pictures that she liked.  Even the pictures that were just the pre-shoot test shots were amazing.

Lauren asked about if there were any photographers who only took pictures of queens.  Shaunna mentioned a couple of names of photographers (that I don't remember).  Really, the only name that came to mind for me was Jose Guzman Colon, who has shot a few of the RuPaul girls's pictures, that tend to be used mostly for promotional materials.  Lauren then talked about wanting to do some more shoots, with other drag queens, and maybe doing some group shots, and that sort of thing.  Shaunna was totally interested in doing something like that, and made sure to say so.

And, now, I'm jealous.  I want to have a photo shoot of my own.  Not that I expect much from it.  I'm far less photogenic than Shaunna is.  And, like everything else in my life, when I'm in front of the camera, I'm awkward.  I smile like a Cheshire cat, and look like a goofball.  But, I still wouldn't mind having some pictures of myself so that I could pretend for a few days that I'm famous enough for someone to want to take my pictures.