Take a Break

The last year of my life has been challenging, to say the least. From being asked to leave a job, to being hired at two other jobs, that never delivered on the hours that they promised, I'm a little disenchanted with things. Then, with the addition of a breakup, which was very public (though on very good terms). And finally, with all the drama that comes with the drag community, I am tired. And, I need to take a step back from everything and re-center myself.

Any of these on their own would be enough to cause some to throw their hands up in defeat. But, I'm a glutton for punishment, and let it build and build and build. And, NOW, I'm throwing my hands up.

Over the last 5 years, I have voluntarily taken pictures at shows. I get no compensation for doing so. And, I generally will take 2-6k pictures over the course of a show. I then find the best ones, edit them and post them. It was initially for me. And, partially, for people who weren't able to attend. And it all takes time. And, sometimes I just am not in the mood to deal with pictures. The random, "when will the pictures be up," sometimes makes me want to say, "Never." I don't think I have actually sat through a show in 5 years, to watch it, in person. It has always been through a camera lens...

I went to art school, right out of high school, because I was going to animate for Disney. Life happened, and I never achieved that. For a long time, I avoided art in general. Then, I was asked to do a show poster. It gave me a chance to put my creativity to use. And, that was great. When I have all the info and photos and such that I'll need, it takes no time. And, again, I don't really get any compensation. That's my own fault...although recently, I have started negotiating for the work that I do. But, there comes although time when as a graphic design, you want to tell the client to go to hell, when the poster has to be changed a million times. And, when an outside person or group won't share the poster because of wording...well, it means another edit. My average number of edits on a poster, generally ranges from 5 to 8, because of last minute drop outs or additions. My advice...if you're not sure about the line up, do yourself and me a favor... instead of listing everyone, say "And Special Guests."

While I was working very little this spring, I started doing caricatures of queens. It was a way for me to bring in a little extra cash. It was something that I enjoyed. That is, until my opinion became a death stroke for a commission. The worst part, was that the beheading of the project came just a short while after a conversation with the queen about starting over, because it wasn't conveying her "look". The project was killed by her manager, who disagreed with what I said, and told me that he (the manager) was killing it, because he didn't want to be reminded of a horrible day, with her merchandising. That left a bad taste in my mouth, and I really have avoided taking new commissions since.

And then, of course, there is the blog itself. I haven't posted since the breakup, because I'm still not sure how I feel. So, it has been easier to not say anything about anything, than to address what I want to address.

It feels like this is a good time to take a break. There are shows tonight and tomorrow, that I'm committed to. But, after that, I'm free to do what I want. Shaunna Rai now has a vehicle, so no longer has to rely on me taking her to shows.

So, I am going to take some me time. I'll only take on projects that I really want to do. And, maybe, after the show tomorrow, I'll go to a show, and watch it like a normal person.

The Blame Game

So, you have this great idea for a drag show. You have a theme. You find the venue. You get your talent. You get promotional materials made for you.

So, you've done everything right. Right?

Then why is there no turn out? What happened to keep people away from the show? Why are your performers leaving with peanuts, instead of a butt load of cash in tips?

Whose fault is it, if a show is a flop?

The short answer, is it's everyone's fault.  But, it's a lot more complicated than that. Especially, when a large number of people are involved.

A drag performer's job is to promote their show. The more people they can bring in, the better the chance of bringing home the money. So, it makes sense for the queen or king to share a poster or event on any social media outlet available to them. And, the best way of creating a buzz is to tell the potential audience why they want to go to the show, so they don't leave, saying, "Yep, just what I was expecting  the same old queens doing the same old, boring numbers. I can't believe I wasted money for that." (Because, I literally have heard that sentiment before.)

A venue should promote a show that is happening there. When the artwork for promoting is built to the venue's specific needs, it should  be used for promotion. When performers begin to feel that the venue is not doing their job, they will talk about it. And, people will listen. What most people don't realize about Drag performers, is that they have captive audiences who hang on what they say. And, venues would do well to remember that any feeling of being slighted, will eventually come out. And, when you don't feel wanted somewhere, you don't go back. And you tell people, who tell people, who tell people. And, then, you have no patrons.

"Wait, there's a cover?" There is nothing that a potential audience member hates more than being surprised at the door with news that they will have to pay to get in. And, it's scary that (here in Maine) that is enough to cause someone to turn around and go elsewhere. If the promo material does not satisfactorily get this information across, it's the graphic artist's fault. If the posts  is delayed  in getting to the performers and the venue, it's the artist's fault.

But, what happens, when everything is said to be going right  And it turns out that it really isn't? What happens when your host says one thing, blaming the bar, and the bar says the exact opposite? Who is then to blame? And, why lie?

It doesn't matter who is lying. If things aren't going as they should be, then there is a problem. The breakdown of communication between all parties involved is problematic.

So, what is the solution? Because you're never going to be  every person involved to do what they need to do. How do you hold people accountable for what they didn't do?

First, all parties, from the host to the performers to the venue to the graphic artist should be a part of the conversation. If any one member is missing from the conversation, there is an issue. If everyone is a part of it, it makes it easier to hold someone accountable, and harder to lie about what you haven't done yet.

Next, be clear, right from the start of what is to be expected. Nothing makes people crazier than a waffler. I  It's ok one day and not the next, how do you expect anyone to know what's going on?

As a host, (in my opinion) if three fourths of your performers promote regularly, and the last doesn't, are you going to still pay them all the same? Especially, if you're splitting the cover? This is a time to put your foot down, and not be "the friend." You didn't promote, everyone else did. Sorry, but it's your own fault. Nobody is going to come see you  if they don't know you're going to be there...

Blame who you like, but the truth of the matter, is, unless there is a really big mistake that can be specifically tracked to one person, it's everyone's fault if a show fails.

Accept your responsibility, and move on, but learn from those mistakes. Know the worth of the show. Know the worth of the performers. Know the worth of the venue. And work together...Because, if you can't work together, why put something together in the first place?

They Had Style, They Had Grace...

Augusta Gray, was an
inspiration for Shaunna Rai's
look.

For the last three years, I have heard name after name, of queens that I will never meet.  Ashley, Marlena, and Augusta Gray, amongst them.  They represent, (for lack of better terminology) the Golden Age of Drag, in Maine.  Back when Styxx was the Underground, back when Shaunna Rai was still a baby, back when there were Gay Bars, from Ogunquit to Bangor.

Over the last twenty years, a lot has changed.  There are no longer any Gay Bars north of Portland.  The Underground has changed hands multiple times, and is now Styxx, (and a bar that was once the talk of the town, is now struggling to fill itself.)  Shaunna Rai has been doing drag for...well, let's just say, that Shaunna Rai is of legal drinking age now...

As long as I've known Shaunna,
Marlena's name has been brought
up many times.

I'll still never meet many of the queens from that Golden Age.  But, this week, something happened, that's going to help me get to know who these girls were.  And, I'm going to get to know the faces that go with the names.  And, eventually, hopefully, I'll get the stories that go along with the faces and names.  At the beginning of the week, I was invited to join a group on Facebook, called Famous Drag Queens of Maine.  A group, that I'm really sad that I didn't think to create... This group is both a blessing and a curse.  While I'm getting to know the queens that I will never meet, and meeting some of the ones that I still have the opportunity to meet, I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Ashley Nason is another name that
I have heard brought up a ton.

I decided, when I got my tax refund, that I needed to get a printer, that had a scanner.  (Talk about foreshadowing...) Once the group was up and running, Dan told me that there was a box in the closet that was full of drag pictures from years ago.  So, I made it my job to go through all the photographs, and scan them, so that they can get posted to the group, eventually.

When he said some, I figured, a couple of rolls worth of film.  I didn't really consider the fact that there would be 21 plus years worth of pictures to go through.  Nor did I consider that it would take, literally, forever to go through all the pictures, and scan and separate and post them.

So far, the photo history is there, but the actual verbal/written history is not.  Part of the goal of the group, in my opinion, is to not only honor the queens who have been a part of Maine's history in images, but also to let them live on in memories.  Someone like me, who doesn't know any of the history prior to three years or so ago, has no idea what Sportsman's was.  I don't know Augusta Gray or Regina.  Without a page like this, I would never know their histories.

Miss JoAnn, circa 1969.

In a week, I learned about Regina, a queen who only performed for HIV/AIDS benefits, after her partner passed away from it.  What made her unique, was that prior to her partner's death, she had no interest in doing drag.  She did it, as a way to carry on his legacy, and support a cause that was near and dear to her.

I have seen pictures of Miss JoAnn, who I actually do know, that go all the way back to 1969.  I've seen pictures of ClubKid MizzDiveena, when she was doing fishy drag, instead of the more severe ClubKid face that she does now.  I have seen queens who look like boys in dresses.  I have seen queens who look so feminine, that you would never believe that they weren't women.  And, I've seen the transformation of 20+ years of Shaunna Rai's existence.

Drag families, that I had no idea existed, have been emerging, and giving me many a name to research a little more...just because it's something that I can't seem to get enough of.

Ashley, Shaunna and Marlena made up the ISG.

I may be a little obsessed with the group, because, I'm spending more time refreshing the page, to look at what new pictures, or anecdotes have been posted since the last time I looked.  (Yes, I know, I have a problem.)  

And, now that I have names and faces of people who were part of Shaunna Rai's past, I can open up the playing field a little bit about what I know about the time before me.  

I'm a couple of keyboard strokes away from

 being able to ask Shaunna's creator about putting her in drag for the first time, and seeing now, how far that she has come from her origins.  I can ask people about Ashley and Marlena, two thirds (Shaunna Rai being the last third) of ISG (International Show Girls) and try to get a little more information about why it was called ISG, and what it was exactly that they did.

In what has become an attempt at documenting the present of drag, I now have a whole new source of information and inspiration, to keep things fresh and new. And, I might just learn a thing or two about the years of history, that only those who have lived it, know.

Thank you for creating this group. And thank you to every contributor to the page. And, if you have, or know of anyone who has pictures and/or stories about any of the queens, kings, etc. who have played a part in this state's history, please, share and help keep these memories alive. 

Don't Cry For Me Argentina...

...because, the Truth is, I don't promote you...

Drag is a dying art in the state of Maine.  Shows are becoming more and more of a rarity, and they're a surprise, when they actually happen.

Styxx, last weekend, hosted: An Evening with Danielle Dior.  I found out about the show about a week before it was supposed to happen.  And, given that I definitely didn't have time to get the time off for the show, I figured that it wasn't going to be one that I would make it to.  Surprisingly, due to the time warp that is caused by drag, I was able to get out of work, and back to Portland, in time to make it to the show.

But, it got me thinking.  The lack of shows, is compounded by the fact that gay bars in general, in the state of Maine, are not doing well.  And, as someone who has been doing a lot of promoting, and making promotional materials, to use online, or printed out, as hand outs, I have a few suggestions...again.

After hearing from Mimi Imfurst, that Styxx knew, months in advance that Mimi was going to be coming to do her show, why is it that we only got a poster a few weeks before the show?  Why would you not, as soon as you book a show, get promotional materials together?

I get that gathering together all the information, a month or more in advance, is a hassle, but promotion is your friend.  If you can't promote, you can't bring people in.  If you can't bring people in, you lose money.  If you lose money, your bar closes.  It's as simple as that.  Take the time, get the information together, and get a responsible graphic artist to throw something together.  I'm always game for making a poster.  It gets my work out there. It gets your event out there.  It's a win-win for us both.  (BTW, if you're interested in poster work, email me, for pricing details.)  The longer you have your promotional stuff out there, the more people will see it, and potentially, the more people you will get to your events.

Truth be told, making a poster or flyer for a show, really doesn't take long.  An hour, if you have all the information ready up front, maybe two.  There's probably a few adjustments that will need to be made.  But, nothing major, unless the artist and the patron have completely different ideas about what the material should look like.  (Occasionally, it does happen.)

I want to make it clear, that this is not just an issue with Styxx.  This is an issue with multiple venues for shows.  Styxx just happened to be the catalyst for the post. Queens get frustrated with the bars, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  Bars get frustrated with the queens, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  If you give the queens and the bars a chance to advertise the shows, there is potential for much more business...especially, given the fact that the queens I hang out with, often end up having drinks bought for them, by audience members.  This can only be good for the bars.  Especially, since half the time, the performing queens are not getting paid for the shows, or they're getting paid very little.

RANT OVER:

2014: A Year in Drag

Each year, I realize that I'm getting older.  A thought that I am still not ready to succumb to.  This year, like every year before, has gone by faster than I would have liked for it to.  Some awesome things happened.  Some horrible things happened.  Some things that are really sad happened, and some things that I will never forget, (because I took the time to write about them, so when I get to be old and senile, I'll at least have some kind of record of what I have done).  Over all, I don't have a lot to complain about for the year.  And, yes, I know I still have 4 days, technically, before the year is over...but the news channels have been pushing this end of the year crap for a week now, already, even before Christmas...

Manila Luzon

I'll start with the sad stuff, first, and get it out of the way.  This year marked the passings of Crystal Eaton, Scott Randall, Chase Wakeling, and Mildred Poland.  These are all people who at some point have had some kind of impact on my life.  Only one did any kind of drag.  Evie Does-It/Scott, made an otherwise exciting day, less so, as his passing happened to coincide with Latrice Royale's appearance at Styxx.  Crystal, who got her own post at the beginning of the year, was my babysitter, when I was a kid.  Chase invited Dan to live with him and his husband, when Dan had to evacuate an apartment, with only days notice, and Dan was still living there, when we met.  Chase was a supporter of us as a couple, from the very beginning, and it's still a shock to me that he's gone.  And, Mildred was my ex's aunt.  She reminded me an awful lot of my grandmother, and even after the breakup, she kept in contact with me via Facebook.  Her passing was a shock, but, it wasn't unexpected, and she had already made plans that it was her time to go.  Out of respect to the family, I opted to not go, because I didn't want anything to be weird, nor did I want to make it about me.  

Jessica Wild

2014 also marked the passing of one of the first "drag queens" that I was exposed to...Robin Williams, as Mrs. Doubtfire.  When I first heard the news, I thought it was another hoax, like, Macaulay Culkin's three deaths.  When it turned out to be true, it brought up a lot of things, for the kids I work with, as well as myself.  If nothing else, Robin Williams, as Mrs. Doubtfire, taught me that there is sometimes a thin line between the place where Love is Everything, and Love just isn't enough.  And, his final teaching, was that life is short, and let the people who mean anything, and everything to you, know that, because you never know for sure, when you won't get the chance to tell them again.

Joslyn Fox

There, now that the sad stuff is out of the way, I'll focus on some of the big things that happened this year.

2014 brought about my biggest year in RuPaul girls, yet.  I will have met, by the end of tonight, seven different RuPaul girls... Jujubee, Joslyn Fox (twice), Manila Luzon, Jessica Wild, Alyssa Edwards, Latrice Royale, and Mimi Imfurst.  It also brought about the first time I've ever won any kind of contest.  It only took me 34 years to win something more than a participation ribbon... This was the year, that I accidentally won a VIP ticket to see Alyssa Edwards...accidentally, because I forgot that I had entered, and, given that it was a Facebook contest, I didn't actually expect to win...

Alyssa Edwards

While my attempt to create a graphic novel, featuring drag came to a screeching halt, due to a lack of interest (on my part), and an attack on my creativity and imagination, due to doing some actual research by interviewing some queens, I put it aside.  It hasn't been scrapped entirely.  But, it's not a main focus.  At this point, I'd do better, writing a book..."The Boyfriend's Guide to Drag Husbandry." While it wouldn't necessarily be a best seller (or maybe it would), it would give me an opportunity to write what I know, and then nobody could attack me based on a lack of creativity, or plagarizing stories, by using bits and pieces of someone else's life...

Latrice Royale

I learned just how much my parents love the drag.  I have to admit, when I first started dating Dan, the biggest fear, was how they would react to the drag.  I obviously had nothing to worry about, since my mom's goal for this year was to start getting picture

s of her with the RuPaul queens, and, she's now working on hunting down DVD's of all the seasons of Drag Race.  It's been through this whole process, that I realized just how cool my parents really are.  They probably always have been, but you never think that your parents are cool, when you're a kid.  

Mimi Imfurst 

The year has been a giant teaching experience for me. I started to take my blog seriously, as a soapbox of sorts. On top of teaching about the acceptance of drag as an art, and an understanding of trans issues, I have also tackled why drag is dying in Maine, why we need to continue to teach about AIDS, and I grew a beard for testicular cancer. 

My No-Shave November Beard

At work, I've also been able to teach more about acceptance as well.  We took the kids to Salem, Massachusetts back in October, just before Halloween.  While we were there, the (at the time) Duchess Gigi Gill was out and about taking pictures with the tourists.  The boys all saw her, and started saying really mean things about her. So, it was my job to talk about the fact that not all drag is RuPaul "grade". And that it is as much about playing a character, as it is about dressing in the opposite gender's clothes.

Cherry Lemonade

Over the course of the year, I made some friends, and lost some friends. The friendscape of my life is in a big time flux right now. People are moving away. Other people just have stopped making the effort. And, I've done the same. Yet other people have surprised me. Cherry Lemonade has become someone  I consider to be a good friend...and she's going to be famous now. Starting January 7th we'll get to see her journey on American Idol.  

I went to so many shows throughout the course of the year.  Two fundraisers in January, March Dragness,  Jujubee at Styxx, Joslyn Fox at Mainestreet,  the Frannie Peabody AIDS Walk weekend in Ogunquit, Dragapalooza,  Zumba Wekend at Point Sebago,  all the Pride events and fundraisers, the shows at Seacoast Rep with Manila Luzon, Jessica Wild and Joslyn Fox,  Alyssa Edwards at Paradym, Latrice Royale at Styxx, the Miss AIDS Awareness Pageant, and Mimi Imfurst at Styxx. And I'm sure I missed a few shows as well.

The year gave me a totally different view of RuPaul's Drag Race, as a show. While it is still one of my favorite shows on tv, I learned through listening to stories from some of the girls, just how much the show is edited. What you're seeing on air, likely is not necessarily the way things happened in reality. 

I learned that some people just don't get how to promote. If you're trying to get people to come support your venue with a show,  it's important to get the word out on the street as early as possible. A last minute, "I need a poster for tomorrow,"  is NEVER going to get you the same business that you would get if you let people know a month or more in advance. 

I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve in Lynn, Massachusetts. I'm hoping that this will be the beginning of a year when I finally step out of the role of silent photographer, and start mingling on my own. I've done it a couple times this year, but it's always awkward.  I just have to keep trying. You know, "Fake it til you make it."

And, here's to a great 2015,  to all of you, my readers. Thank you for your support!

A Cock in a Frock, on a Rock...

When I started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, last year, the biggest question that I had, of all drag queens, was, are all drag queens that bitchy?

From where I stand, the answer is, maybe.

Hear me out.  This is going to be a long post, and most definitely doesn't have a clear answer to the question.

Every movie that I've watched with a drag queen character in it, has had a queen, who over all the other characters, is the bitch.  Throughout the course of the movie, you come to find out the reason that she's such a bitch, is because she's had a shitty life, and that she had to toughen herself up, in order to deal with life.  From my experience, any homo is going to tell you that that's their life story.

Does that give you any particular excuse for being a bitch then?  Not really.

When I started dating Dan, I was terrified of the drag world.  Until I started to really experience what it was like going to shows.  For once in my life, I felt like it didn't matter that I was there. I wasn't anyone's thorn in their side.  And, I was accepted for being the blatant homo that I sometimes feel like I am.  I have never felt more comfortable, than I have being brought in by the drag world.

What happens though, is from time to time, a queen thinks that she's better than anyone else, and starts throwing her weight around.  When this happens, the queens around her, generally go on the defensive.  Usually, with good reason...they're being attacked, or they've been wronged somehow.

Drag queens are the best of both worlds.  They're men, and behave like men, except for when they're being women.  This is an observation, that needs to be taken as such.  Stereotypically, men get pissed off at each other, have it out, and then make up.  It happens.  Stereotypically, women get pissed off at each other, and hold a grudge forever.  Stereotypically, this is common throughout the entire gay world.  It just has been more publicized in the drag world, through the movies, and shows like Drag Race.  According to media, drag queens are the top of the hill when it comes to catty, bitchiness.  And, some of the people that I know personally, have furthered this stereotype, in their behavior.

A rule in life to remember, is that people are always going to talk.  It's one that I learned very early in life.  At 7, I learned a vast majority of the names that kids call kids like I was.  Not a single one of them was nice.  Come to think of it, a lot of the time that I've heard people talk about me, it hasn't been nice.  (Sorry, back on topic)  Oh yeah, my point here was that there's gotta be some kind of conviction behind what's being said.  If you're going to call me a whore, make sure that I'm slutting it up.  Wanna call me sloppy seconds? Take a look at yourself, and check to see whether you're doing better at life than I am.  Because the final result, is going to be that someone's going to get pissed off in the long run, and you better believe that you're going to get a reading like you've never had before.

I don't care who you are, if you say something bad about a person, there's a reason that you said it.  And, alcohol is not an excuse.  You were already thinking it, and the alcohol just cut down on your inhibitions, and let it slide off your tongue.  "I didn't mean it," isn't a reason either.  You did mean it at some point, if those words came out of your mouth.

Now, at this point, it sounds like I'm villifying drag queens, and that is totally NOT my intention.  Because NOT all drag queens are villains.  Drag queens in general, are some of the most caring people that you'll ever meet.  Statistically, according to "The Official Drag Handbook," by Todd Kachinski-Kottmeier (The Infamous Todd), "For every $10 earned for LGBT cause, $8.82 came in through the assistance of a female impersonator." That's a pretty hefty sum, and bear in mind, that is just talking specifically about the LGBT causes.  That doesn't encompass the numerous other charities that these people support.

They may be crass, or they may be classy.  But, one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that when a queen is performing, is the best time.  At Shaunna Rai's last show in Lewiston, I had invited my cousin.  She had said that she wanted to meet Shaunna Rai.  At the time I invited her, I had no idea that there was anything really going on in her life that she would need a break from.  The show was great.  And, after the show, while we were waiting for the girls to get packed back up, I found out how much of a release it was for her to be at the show, instead of dealing with her life.  She needed the cheering up, that drag brought to her.  (Well, not just drag, but Shaunna Rai, and her girls...)

My point, is this.  Drag queens have a reputation of being bitchy, because they sometimes can be.  But, there's so much more to a queen than a bitchy attitude.  There's creativity, there's grace, there's humor.  There's a sense of community, and a need to give back.  And, most importantly, there's the ability to make a person feel welcome, when that person has felt shut out all of their life.

So, are all queens that bitchy?  No.  But, some are.  And, I think that will never change. 

Upcoming Shows

Various Mondays: Styxx for Watch RuPaul's Drag Race with Taffy Pulls

April 10: Danielle's Birthday Show at Blackstones

April 12: Phierce Friday with DJ Aga at Mainestreet Ogunquit

April 13: Shaunna Rai and her Dolls at Altera

April 18: Battle of the Divas, P!nk vs Kelly Clarkson at Club Cafe, Boston

May 4th, 7pm at Bates College

June 10: Miss Blackstones Competition