Who Cares About History?

A fight is being fought between Facebook and the drag and trans communities. People on Facebook have been reporting drag queens and trans people, interchangeably, for having fake profiles. When the original battle lines were drawn with Sister Roma and Facebook on opposite sides, it was potentially going to effect my world eventually. But, it hadn't hit anyone in the Maine drag community that hard.

I now understand the reason why Sister Roma fought so hard, and has continued to fight, and increase awareness that this is happening.

Over the last few weeks, the trend has hit the state of Maine.  And, many of them are starting fresh with like pages, because some douchebag decided that it would be fun to start screwing with people.

I have thoughts on who and why, but I will keep them to myself, because I have no proof. But, the fact of the matter, is, a lot of drama has been going on in show casting for a couple of upcoming shows. People have gotten mad at each other, and then, in an odd timing incident, people started getting reported to the Facebook police for having fake accounts. Over the last week, I have watched a majority of my friends try to fight to keep their names.

It all came to a head, last night, when I was on my way home from work. Then, it really hit home. I stopped to pick up a couple of things at a convenience store on my way to go pick up dinner. In the 10 minutes or so it took for me to go from one to the other, Shaunna Rai had posted something, and then, been reported and had her page removed for identity theft. Dan's page had been reported for identity theft as well, and he very nearly lost both accounts. So, when I went to look at the tagged post, it was unavailable. (At that point, I still had no idea that anything was going on.)

I picked up dinner, and went home. I was greeted at the door, with a slew of information, and a lot of misplaced anger and hostility. None of it was directed toward me, at least. But, taming Shaunna or Dan when they're angry is a feat in itself. Calming both at the same time...Good luck. It's pretty much impossible.

We ate, while I let Dan vent about what had happened. When it became clear that Shaunna's page was no longer even viewable, things began to sink in, for me.

Shaunna's career spans more than 20 years. Every picture that she had or had been tagged in has been lost. Every poster...gone. Every conversation she had going in regards to upcoming events was lost. It was like, in a matter of 10 minutes or so, Shaunna had been lost in a fire. Every bit of online history on Facebook is gone...and nobody had any way of contacting her, and she had no way of letting her almost 5000 followers know what had happened.

So, the best chance of getting Shaunna Rai back up and running, was to create a like page for her. Because she was trying to put out spot fires in group and individual chats, and was pissed off enough that she could have spewed forth fire if she had tried, she didn't really want anything to do with the creation of the new page. So, it fell to me to get it all set up.

Fortunately, with the blog being a like page, I more or less knew what needed to be done to set up Shaunna's new page. Then, it was up to me to show Dan how to run the page from both the computer and the page manager app on his phone.

There are a few things that I know he's going to hate about it...first and foremost, the fact that they seem a lot less interactive than, say, your average personal page. And, you have to remind your audience to click for notifications to be alerted when something new is posted.

But, there are also things I think he's going to like about it. Biggest is that you can schedule posts ahead of time, so you can have your page running even if you're not around. (And, if he agrees to it, I can become an admin, and fix up some of the typos on the page, so people can't claim that they need a translator.)

However, even with the new page, unless we can get in touch with everyone whose pictures were on Shaunna's old page, that part of her history is gone. And, she's not the only one. Cherry Lemonade was the first Maine Queen to lose hers. Prodigy Diamond, Sheneeda Diet, Shaunna Rai and Envy Chanel have all had to start fresh. And, a number of others are still in the midst of fighting to keep their names and histories.

The reason I started this blog was as a way to keep track of the history of Maine drag since I became a part of that world. But, unfortunately, that only goes back 4 years. Anything prior to that is gone.

I don't usually get angry, but this really has me pissed off. I don't get violent, but I want to hit stuff or people. I want to make whoever did this understand that this was in no way okay for them to do. I want them to understand that if I find out for sure who it was that they will be called out as a traitor, publicly.

Whoever it was that did it, obviously doesn't care about friendship. They've earned themself a spot in the special hell created for drag performers who caused themselves to be iced out by every other performer in the area. I hope it was worth it to you.

Art Walk LA

At the end of the night at the Cancer Schmancer show, I was approached about submitting artwork to the Lewiston/Auburn Art Walk. It was totally out of the blue, and unexpected. But, Grayling asked me specifically to participate,  and show off my photography work.

Scarrlett 

Because most any kind of exposure is good exposure, I figured that I would try it. It would do one of two things...it would make me feel better about being an artist, or it would make me decide never to do it again. The whole time, my mind went back and forth about the ultimate outcome.

Deadlines flew at me, and at the last minute, it was a scramble to narrow down my thousands upon thousands of pictures to just 15.

Wanting to do things right, I did a mass tag of Facebook friends who I have photographed in the past in hopes that a few of them would say yes. The response was overwhelmingly yes, with a few, "yes, but let me see it first. I just want to approve of it."

Jacinda

Once I got all the approvals, I saved all the pictures to my desktop to save to a memory card, to take to be printed. In the meantime, I had Dan go to Goodwill to pick me up frames...which he did with little to no knowledge of what I was using for pictures. The night before delivery, I literally was finishing putting the pictures in the frames, hoping that it was all going to work out ok. 

Porcia Chanel

The night of delivery, almost didn't happen. Dan and Larry (Shaunna Rai and Leanna Love) had taken a trip to Boston in Dan's new (used) car. As I was getting ready to take the pictures to the venue, at 46 Lisbon Street, I got a call from Dan. "Hey, I know you have to drop off your pictures,  but we need to get a tow, and a ride home, we're broken down outside of the Massachusetts and New Hampshire border, by the bridge that they're fixing that I always mess with you about."

So while waiting for a message to see if I could get in to drop the pictures off earlier,  I made phone calls, and got the tow on the way. I dropped off the pictures, and made a flying trip to Massachusetts...it all turned out ok, except for the car, which was kind of a lemon.

Rainbow Frite

After much freaking out, because I had submitted 14 photos, and only delivered 13, because I had forgotten to save the final one on the laptop, I ended up with it in hand for the night of the walk.

I didn't know what to expect from the space, as it was an abandoned looking shop front, which, incidentally,  happened to be where my mom purchased her wedding gown. (Talk about a small world, right?) I waited outside for the doors to open, after grabbing the clipboard and lanyard, that said I was an official volunteer for the night.

Shaunna Rai

Finally the space opened, we got my final piece situated and food and drink set out, and people started arriving. Our venue had boxed wine, and I knew that if I was going to make this better for myself, I at least needed one glass of wine, to keep from being the guy standing in the corner trying to be as small as possible so nobody would talk to me.

The wine worked.  I was sharing the space with another photographer, who does landscape type photography and what she called her "twirl" photos (when you focus the camera on something and then twist it, making it look like you were rolling when you took the picture.  She had also come out to volunteer. The other lady, who was showing, did not come out, but had three paintings on display.

Leanna Love

The first few people who came through, just looked around, like they were in an art gallery, then left. Ivy, the other photographer and I, started talking about our work to each other. I was surprised that none of her stuff was for sale, because it was really good. She told me that her goal was to let people see what they could do themselves, with Goodwill frames and a point and shoot camera. That was why she wasn't going to sell them. Well, that along with the feeling that art is a very personal thing, and sometimes it's hard to part with.

Cecelia Grace

She asked me, and I was asked many times through the night, how I got into the field of portraiture. I did a bunch of plugging for the blog, which as of now, appears to not have done any good...(Probably because, with everything I remembered,  the business cards were what I forgot.) I went on to explain that the pictures had chosen had been my favorites out of a ton of choices over the last four years or so.

Miss E,on

People finally started asking me questions, or just talking to me. One gentleman, an older guy, I had to correct his terminology, and explain the difference between drag, cross dressing and transgender. This was a very long conversation. He had heard a story on NPR, about a drag queen, who became addicted to her drag personal so much, that she basically had to kill her drag career, to keep her real life. (It seemed far fetched to me, but, what do I know. Stranger things have happened.) We then moved on to trans women. He told me the story of a professor at Bowdoin College (I think) who had written a book about her transition, and this gentleman thought that the whole thing was amazing. I thought it was cool that he told me the story.  He eventually moved on, and left.

Lili Whiteass

A bear couple (for anyone not in the know, a burly, gay couple, presumably with a lot of body hair, and usually facial hair) came up and told me how great the pictures were, and asked where they could see a show, without having to drive all the way to Portland. They explained that they had moved from down in the south (Baltimore, I think), where they could go to a show anytime they wanted. I explained that the drag scene in Maine is dwindling, but promoted an upcoming show at the Elks Club in Lewiston. I'm hoping to see them there.

Diamond Dunhill

There were a lot of people who legit thought that all the pictures were of real women. There were a few who, upon realizing that the pictures they were looking at were male, turned and booked it out of the venue. And, an overwhelming amount of people who either knew the queens or had actually been to the shows. These were the ones I enjoyed talking to the most. These were the people asking how did you get such good pictures, and where can I see them in person? I took that time to plug upcoming shows, and lament the lack of shows in the area. This was when I realized that I want to do something about the lack of drag in Maine. (Not that I know what to do, where to start, or how to make something happen, but it gave me a starting point. )

Cherry Lemonade

As the night wore down, and came to a close, I stopped for a minute to think about all the stuff I had accomplished. First, I had a showing of my work, for the first time ever. Second, I did all of it on my own. Third, I talked about what I do with total strangers, and didn't get much of a negative response. And, last, but certainly not least...I'd on fact, most important, I had a hell of a lot of fun. And kind of want to do it again next year.

Bunny Wonderland

Yes, occasionally, I need someone to light a fire under my ass, to get me going. And, there's a good possibility that I may buck it the whole way, because I'm scared. But, I really need to just remember that I am my own worst enemy, and that I need to just do things, instead of worry about the bad things that could happen. Because, truthfully, the things I worry about rarely come to fruition,  and then I've spent so much energy worrying that I have none when it comes time to have fun.

ClubKid MizzDiveena

Oh, and Bunny Wonderland, just so you know, this picture of you actually sold.  Granted, it was to my mom, but...

Don't Cry For Me Argentina...

...because, the Truth is, I don't promote you...

Drag is a dying art in the state of Maine.  Shows are becoming more and more of a rarity, and they're a surprise, when they actually happen.

Styxx, last weekend, hosted: An Evening with Danielle Dior.  I found out about the show about a week before it was supposed to happen.  And, given that I definitely didn't have time to get the time off for the show, I figured that it wasn't going to be one that I would make it to.  Surprisingly, due to the time warp that is caused by drag, I was able to get out of work, and back to Portland, in time to make it to the show.

But, it got me thinking.  The lack of shows, is compounded by the fact that gay bars in general, in the state of Maine, are not doing well.  And, as someone who has been doing a lot of promoting, and making promotional materials, to use online, or printed out, as hand outs, I have a few suggestions...again.

After hearing from Mimi Imfurst, that Styxx knew, months in advance that Mimi was going to be coming to do her show, why is it that we only got a poster a few weeks before the show?  Why would you not, as soon as you book a show, get promotional materials together?

I get that gathering together all the information, a month or more in advance, is a hassle, but promotion is your friend.  If you can't promote, you can't bring people in.  If you can't bring people in, you lose money.  If you lose money, your bar closes.  It's as simple as that.  Take the time, get the information together, and get a responsible graphic artist to throw something together.  I'm always game for making a poster.  It gets my work out there. It gets your event out there.  It's a win-win for us both.  (BTW, if you're interested in poster work, email me, for pricing details.)  The longer you have your promotional stuff out there, the more people will see it, and potentially, the more people you will get to your events.

Truth be told, making a poster or flyer for a show, really doesn't take long.  An hour, if you have all the information ready up front, maybe two.  There's probably a few adjustments that will need to be made.  But, nothing major, unless the artist and the patron have completely different ideas about what the material should look like.  (Occasionally, it does happen.)

I want to make it clear, that this is not just an issue with Styxx.  This is an issue with multiple venues for shows.  Styxx just happened to be the catalyst for the post. Queens get frustrated with the bars, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  Bars get frustrated with the queens, because nobody knows that the show is happening, so nobody comes.  If you give the queens and the bars a chance to advertise the shows, there is potential for much more business...especially, given the fact that the queens I hang out with, often end up having drinks bought for them, by audience members.  This can only be good for the bars.  Especially, since half the time, the performing queens are not getting paid for the shows, or they're getting paid very little.

RANT OVER:

Me, Me, I'm First!

Me, with Mimi Imfurst

Over the summer, last year, Dan and I watched some Dvd's of past Dragapalooza performances. On one DVD, was a familiar face.  Mimi Imfurst, who is one of the most hated RuPaul's Drag Race queens, was performing on the same stage with Shaunna Rai. I watched amazed, and was at a loss for words.

When Styxx announced Mimi's Holiday Hangover Show was coming for one night, and the cover was only $5, it was a given that I would have to go. I needed Mimi to redeem herself for doing androgynous drag at the Pride finale on Peaks Island. I needed a picture, so I had proof that I had met her. And, the androgeny just wasn't going to work for me.

Just after the announcement was made, Shaunna Rai made the announcement that she would be performing with Mimi and a "new" girl, from New Hampshire, Cece Georgia. I quickly rushed to update the poster with the guest performers.

Mimi visited my parents' table, and kept grabbing my drink.

Over the next few days, I heard about how Mimi was texting Dan, talking about how excited she was for the show, and getting music sets for everyone. And, in the meantime, I'm just still thinking how cool it is that my boyfriend is texting Mimi Imfurst. 

Since the show was two days after Christmas, I made it part of my parents' gifts. They came to visit, took me out to eat (since Dan doesn't eat until Shaunna is packed away) and we got a doggie bag for later.

Having been given a time constraint on when to be back, I made sure we made it back on time.  Then came the process of putting on the body. This is the part that I think I like the least. I know what needs to be done, and I have a bad habit of not communicating what I need Shaunna to do. Needless to say, it causes a bit of tension.

 For the first time, my mom saw exactly what goes in to putting Shaunna Rai together. For the rest of the night, she couldn't stop talking about it.

We got to Styxx early. So early, that Mimi wasn't even Mimi yet. Finally they opened up the dance room, for the show. I bought the tickets and then we went in to wait for the show to start. 

Cece finally showed up, and looked lost. Doing my duty, I showed her to the dressing room.

Shaunna Rai

Finally, it's show time. Mimi comes out, introduces everyone, and starts her performance. Somehow, I had forgotten that Mimi actually sings live. And, in the first song, my feelings toward Mimi as a performer changed completely.

Given that during Mimi's appearance on Drag Race, she picked up India Ferrah, and earned a place as a "Villain", she ended up relatively low on my list of queens I wanted to meet. But, after seeing her performances, she earned my respect. Mimi is now at the top of my list of queens I would see again.

Shaunna, as usual was amazing. It was funny hearing Mimi talk about Shaunna. What I didn't know is that Shaunna has been around since before Mimi was created.  Hearing Mimi call her a legend and "historic" was really cool.

Cece Georgia

I was nervous for Cece, since it was her first time in Portland, and she was working with someone famous...and needed to impress. She did great. As a photographer, I had a hard time getting pictures of her, just because she was in the audience more than on the dance floor/stage.

And, just like that, the show came to an end. My parents had to leave, as mom had to work early in the morning. After they left, I went out back, and got in a couple of selfies with Mimi and Shaunna. We stayed for a couple drinks, then it was time to go home and get some food.

Mimi proved that she could bring it, the same way she did on the Drag at Sea Cruise, roasting Michelle Visage. Seeing her live and in person, she is super sweet and, not at all the villain she was portrayed as on RuPaul's Drag Race.  And, unlike many of the Drag Race performers that I've seen come "from away," she didn't "dumb it down". Maybe she picked someone up during a lip sync for her life, but I think it's time to forgive her and move on. Thank you, Mimi Imfurst, for a great show, and giving me a reason to reexamine what I thought I knew.

Death of a Gay Bar...

Here in Portland, there are a group of gays, who on a monthly basis, take over a straight bar, just because they can.  They call themselves Guerrilla Queer Bar.  I understand the "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Over It" mentality.  Because, let's face it, it's 2014, not 1950.  We've become a visible.  

I've never participated in this, because, to be quite frank, even though, it's totally acceptable for a gay man to frequent "straight" establishments, I've never felt comfortable enough to do so. I would much rather spend my time either hanging out at the local "Cheers" environment, where everybody really does know my name...and everything about me, or go to a dance club, where nobody cares who I am.  But, a club where I'm the minority, that's just not my thing.  Maybe I am still living in a 1950's world, but I think we need the gay bars.

Unfortunately, gay bars, in the Easternmost states, are becoming a rare commodity.  When I first came out, the state of Maine had far more than it has now.  Bangor had a couple of bars, Augusta had one, Portland had (I believe) three at one point, and well, Ogunquit being Ogunquit, the gay capitol of Maine, had a couple.  Over the course of the last few years, the bars have been going out of business.  Bangor has "gay friendly" clubs, but none that cater to an exclusively gay clientele.  Augusta has none.  Portland still has two gay bars, which rumor has it, neither is doing as well as they could be...Lewiston, since I met Dan/Shaunna Rai, has had not one, not even two, but three different gay bars open and close.  And, Ogunquit has Mainestreet and the Front Porch (a dance club and a piano bar.)  

And, the blight that has been taking away the Maine gay bars, has moved on to New Hampshire, as well.  Over the summer, Shaunna Rai hosted a bag night at Elements, a bar in Manchester, NH.  And, a couple of weeks later, they announced that they would be closing.  (They've since reopened...)  And, then, this week, Paradym/Club 313 (whichever name you prefer to use, because it's the same club, under different management) announced that this weekend, they would be closing their doors.

Sadly, the state of business for many of these bars, is that everyone believes that they're doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, they're closed for good.  And, who is to blame?  

As a group, we, the gays, like to complain.  He's too ugly, he's too fat, he's too much of a whore.  This club is too dirty.  That club doesn't pay enough attention to their clientele.  This one has the same five performers, every week.  That one has too many performers, but they're always performing the same act.  We're never happy.  We need something newer.  Something flashier.  Something different.

And yet, the community as a whole, goes berserk when something happens to the club that they've been complaining about for years.  

I have some suggestions:

1.)  Instead of forcing ourselves on the straight people, why don't we invite them once in a while, to our world?

2.)  Even if you've seen the same seven drag queens at the same bar for the last seventeen years, performing the same seventeen numbers, let them know that you appreciate what they're doing.  More often than not, they're being paid minimal amounts, and getting by on tips.  

3.)  If you want to keep your gay bars around, so that when you feel like being gay, you can be gay, and nobody will give a fuck, SUPPORT YOUR BARS!!!!  I can't stress this enough.  People bitch the most about the bars that appeared to be doing well, that all of a sudden, BANG, they're gone.  Well, if you had been going there, instead of trying to "make a point of your queerness", maybe they'd still be around...

4.)  If you have suggestions for your bars, of what they could do to make things better, find out who you need to talk to, and talk to them!  The worst thing that can happen, is that they're going to say, "Hey, we tried that, and nobody liked it, but thanks for the idea." The best that can happen is that they say, "OMG! I hadn't even thought about that!  Thanks for the idea.  We'll try that!"  

5.)  A cover charge is not a rip off.  Often times, the cover charge is split between the bar and the entertainment for the evening.  If you're not interested in paying a cover charge, you might want to consider buying your alcohol, and having drinks with friends at home.  (You have less of an opportunity for getting picked up for an OUI that way...)

Some things just can't take the place of other things.  Your straight bar with a "gay night", is never going to take the place of your local Gay Bar.  It's not the same.  It's like saying that a Kindle is the same as reading a real book.  It's not.  While I love my Kindle, while I'm reading on it, I miss actually turning the pages, and the smell of the paper.  

Respect your present, because eventually, it is going to be your past.  And, if things keep going the way they have been over the last couple of years, in Maine and New Hampshire, the Gay Bar scene is going to be non-existent.  

Sure, you can still go play Guerrilla Queer Bar-hopper, but don't forget that you can go to your ACTUAL Queer Bar, and support them.  Because eventually, if we're not supporting our bars, they won't be there.  And we'll start bitching about the lack of a place to go where you can be gay, and not have to worry about being gay.

Pull Yourself Together...

 2014 is not off to a good start for people I know.  My uncle, went in for a triple bypass surgery this morning. My former babysitter, Crystal, passed away from Cancer, at the end of January.  And, last week, the Maine Drag Community, lost one of their own, also to Cancer.

I did not personally know Topaz del Pollo, but I did see her perform once.  Dan is the one who knew her. 

I've come to the conclusion that the drag community tends to use Social Media sources more often than your average person does.  And, it shows.  I read the news of her passing on Facebook, and it wasn't long, before there was a huge outpouring of sympathy for both her biological, and drag survivors.  

I'd witnessed this a couple of other times. Once with the passing of Erica Andrews, Roxxxy Andrews's drag mother, and once with Coco Montrese's death hoax.  The news gets out, and then, the internet blows up with it.  It's mind-boggling, to me, how much love queens get from their fans.  And, how much they give the fans back in return.

Within a day, there was a benefit being discussed.  And, so March Dragness, an event in Bangor, is going to be dedicated to Topaz.  The theme for the show is Legends in Concert.  The event information made me laugh, because it says that performers will become a Legend; living or non-living...which, instantly makes me think zombie...although, I know that's not what they actually mean by that. 

I'm saddened by the loss of Topaz, because the drag community in Maine is small enough, and divided enough as it is, without losing members.  My heart goes out to those who knew her well.

Meet: Bunny Wonderland

Bunny Wonderland

If you recall, a couple of weeks ago, I decided that I needed to do some research into what it's like to be a drag queen, because I intend to try to make a graphic novel about it...at some point.  And, I wrote down a bunch of interview questions, and posted it all over the place.  Because, when you live with drag queens, you know a lot of other drag queens, and therefore it should be easy to get a whole lot of answers, right?  Wrong.  I literally got two responses.  Well, three, because Dan/Shaunna Rai will answer any questions I have any time I ask.

So, as a way of keeping track of who answered, and a way of promoting for them, I'm going to go out on a limb, and give out some of the answers that I received.

The first, and fastest, to get back to me was Bunny Wonderland.  I met Bunny for the first time, at the Lewistunning Dragapalooza, last summer, when Shaunna Rai co-hosted it.  I'd heard her name, but knew nothing about what of drag she would be categorized in, and so went in totally unprepared for the act.  What came through, was immediately clear, she is hilarious.  The act started with A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, and moved through The Sound of Music, right on to a demonic possession from The Exorcist.  In short, my mind was blown.

So, who is Bunny Wonderland?

Amber Snow, Bunny Wonderland, Shaunna Rai

Bunny's portrayer, Knate, actually got his start, doing drag, hosting Rocky Horror Picture Show, at the Movies at Exchange Street, in Portland, back in 2001. Bunny made her first appearance at an AIDS Benefit Drag Show, in 2005. Now that I've paraphrased some of her bio, I'll let her speak. "As usual, my first time out of the gate was...well...less than polished. But, I had a taste of the freeness that Drag brings, and with it a happy outlet for gender expression, and needless to say, I was hooked. I was approached by Southern Maine Pride, to be the Princess of Pride in 2006, and to act as a Youth Ambassador. I gave Bunny a full makeover, bought some "cute" dresses and started hanging with other queens (Shaunna Rai, Ariel Gibbs, Amber Snow, etc.) I learned a few tricks of the trade, and developed my character.  Bunny slowly transitioned from a retro kitsch queen to full blown punk debutante in a matter of months. She still to this day has a touch of retro style, and mouth of a sailor. I always wanted Bunny to be sweet as pie, and community oriented. I always have Bunny be the one when someone else says "NO," she says, "Yes, and?""

My personal favorite part of learning about drag queens is how they got their names.  Because, I don't know, it's just fun.  They run the gamut of "First Pets Name+Street You Grew Up On=Drag Name" (In my case, it would be Spice Andrews.)How'd Bunny get hers?
"I've been a vegetarian for close to 15 years. Vegetarian=Bunny.  I have always had an affinity for strong fictional female characters, and my first show was at the hookah bar in Portland, ME. Combined=Wonderland"

What's your favorite part of doing drag?
"The ability to make people laugh, think and be moved by a smart and clever performance is the reason I do drag. Hands down, nothing is more important to me than having someone walk away from a performance and go, "That was fucking awesome." I could lip sync to Beyonce for 7 mins and collect a fistful of tips, but honestly...that's not my speed. I also love the pomp and circumstance that comes with "putting on the mask." People treat you very differently while in drag, and I kinda like it. I can do, say, and be something I normally wouldn't be."

Queens tend to get categorized. (ie. Comedy, Club kid, Pageant Queen) What category do you consider yourself to be?
Campy, Esotreric Punk Debutant

Bunny Wonderland

I have experiened stage fright every time that I've ever done anything on stage.  Have you ever experienced stage fright while performing? How did you overcome it?
I have only experienced stage fright as Bunny once. In 2007, I performed my largest performance to date, hosting Oberlin Drag Ball in Ohio, close to 2000 people. I was to be sent down an elevator for my opening appearance and I was terrified. I waited for close to 30 mins for the damn thing to go down and for the show to start. I kept saying "Let's get this started, I'm scared being up here!" but the show never started. Finally, someone came to me, up in the stage grid and said, "We're waiting for your call to start!" I had no idea that I was supposed to give the word. I said go, and I felt the thing go down to the stage and I almost died of fright.

Have you ever won any titles/awards?
Princess of Southern Maine Pride 2006-2008.

Good or bad, tell me about some of your backstage experiences with other queens.
I have always had an easy time getting along with other queens. I have seen everything from catty comments, to full blown fights but I have never been on the receiving end of them (thankfully). There was one time backstage, while I was hosting an amateur drag competition that a queen competing threw a HUGE hissy fit trying to get a thigh high boot on. She literally lost her damn mind, screaming, crying, kicking, swearing, hitting her friend to help her. I remember thingking to myself, "I will never take drag as seriously as that girl..." (btw, this is NO one we know, this girl lasted very shortly on the scene, mostly due to her bad attitude). I was in shock at what I was seeing, and couldn't believe that someone would react so violently to putting on a fucking boot...

Shaunna Rai does her own makeup, and hair. She sometimes hires out Benni Bernard for costumes, when it's not something that she can do on her own.  Do you do all your own hair, makeup and costuming? Or, do you have help with some or all of the above?
"I do my own makeup, hair and costumes. I usually buy wigs online and then style them myself, add hair, additions. Costumes, I buy a silhouette I think works well for me, and add to it. Makeup has pretty much always been the same "palate" if you will. With tweaks and the like thrown in over the years.

I've had so many "adventures, since I started hanging out with Dan/Shaunna Rai. Tell me about a memorable adventure that you've had that you would not have had if not for drag.
What I'm doing now would not be possible without my yeats as Bunny. I currently run a series at a professional theatre that combines drag, burlesque, film and onstage industry professionals from film. Basically, I host a night of cult films, and we have someone from that film do an onstage interview with Bunny. I've worked with everyone from Lloyd Kaufman (Toxic Avenger), Rae Dawn Chong (Color Purple, Commando) to Michael Finnell (Gremlins) and Noah Hathaway (The Neverending Story).

When you're out of drag, what do you do? (ie. Work, fun, etc.)
I work as a producer/arts programmer for Seacoast Repertory Theatre. I also am a resident actor for the Rep as well. I serve on a bunch of Arts boards including NHPTA (New Hampshire Professional Theatre Association) and the NH Chapter of TED Talks.

Obviously, I am not a drag queen, and I'm doing this to research what it is like to be one.  Tell me anything else that you think might be important for me to know, to get inside the head of a drag queen.
We crave attention. It is what fuels us. No matter what anyone says, it's always about attention and intention. And that, kind sir, is not a bad thing at all.

I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.  

Play to your strengths

"She's not a very pretty queen..."
That was me, last episode of RuPaul's Drag Race: The Lost Season, of Tammie Brown.
"She isn't supposed to be.  She's not like a lot of the queens that have been on the more recent seasons.  She sings live, and does stand up.  And, she's herself."
That was Dan.

This of course, launched a conversation about characters.  And a realization that doing drag, you actually have to know yourself quite well.  Because, all of it, is about who you are.  You take the parts of you that are the best, mush them all up together, and put on the costume, and you're most of the way there.  This of course, is a condensed version of what really happens.  Because, let's face it.  You can't just throw on a pair of heels, a wig, and a dress, and have a ready made drag queen. It just doesn't work that way. And, even if it did, from what I've seen, a drag queen is a constantly shifting work of art.

There is no cookie cutter mold to form a drag queen.  What makes this person amazing may not make the next person as amazing.  Do drag queens have to be beautiful? No.  Do they have to be ugly? No.  Do they have to shave all their body hair off? No.  Some do, but others, proudly display the fact that they're a man in a dress, complete with a beard.  It's all part of a persona that they're creating.

This persona, in my mind, is the most important piece of the whole process.  Like anything, it can be a work in progress, for the entire length of the alter ego's life.  But, it's the piece that takes the most work.  The reason for doing drag in the first place may or may not be a part of the character building.  (Shaunna Rai, for example, was originally brought to life as a way to get into bars, because drag performers weren't asked to show ID's.)  Over time, she has made a name for herself, throughout the state of Maine, and into New Hampshire and Massachusetts.  She has developed a reputation as being, "a bitch," a title which she sometimes will display proudly, like in her last show, titled: "The Bitch is Back".  She doesn't mind taking the mic, but she won't sing live. From time to time, she may say bitchy things, but, generally, it's all said in fun.  Shaunna Rai is known for her drinking.  Hell, she even has a drink named after her at Blackstone's, and whatever name Mama's Cabaret is going by these days...I think it's Rumorz(?)

As I have previously established here, the outfits, the wigs, and the shoes are important as well.  And, a lot of thought goes into the outfits that get worn.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that I've gone into a place like Hot Topic, or Spencer's, and Dan has been at work, thinking about, "I could buy two pairs of these stretchy pants, and make them into a body suit." Or, walking through Marden's, looking at fringe, hearing him say, "I think I want a dress made out of that."  This is not always, but sometimes a daily occurrence.

Now that the outfit's picked out, it's time for the hair.  Which hair goes best with this outfit?  (This is the hardest for me to understand...because I think any hair looks good with anything.  But, that's why I'm not the one doing drag.) And, so, the part of the dressing process that every "husband" (drag or otherwise) dreads: "How does this look?" "Would I look better if I wore this other hair with this?" Sometimes my opinion is taken into consideration.  Sometimes, it's not.  Occasionally, the part where I have to give an opinion is skipped altogether.  (I.e.: the outfit was chosen around the hair, instead of the other way around.)


And, finally, which shoes look better?  The question I hate the most.  My stock answer, is "Those look fine."  But, then again, there's question among my gay friends if I'm really gay, because (although I have about 10 pair of shoes), I'm not very good at matching boy shoes with what I'm wearing. Hell, until last year, I didn't know that it was wrong to wear white socks with dress shoes...although, I found that out in a hurry.

Anyway.

My point here, is that while it may look to an outsider like drag is just throwing on a dress, makeup, a wig and those killer heels,it's not as easy as that.  Dan/Shaunna Rai have been asked on occasion to contribute drag wisdom to a "Drag Boot Camp" program that someone Dan knows has been trying to put in place.  While the idea is great, it relies too heavily on the idea that you can pick a queen out of a box, and every queen is going to be the same.

A question that Dan told me about what, "What 5 items should every queen have in their purse?"  Well, it depends on the queen.  I know a queen, who would carry around a rubber chicken, probably, because she uses it on stage in her act.  Shaunna Rai, on the other hand, wouldn't be caught dead with a rubber chicken...she would more than likely have a bottle of Jaegermeister, a bottle of Vodka, and some Red Bull, or have it all pre-mixed in a flask.  (Actually, more likely, she would have a pair of flip flops, a tank top and a pair of shorts, for after the show.)  Sure, hairspray, and makeup would show up in MOST purses, but not every drag queen is going to carry the same things.

Another question that he told me about was something along the lines of "where did your character/alter ego come from?"  Paraphrasing the question, I can get the point across better. How do you know who your character should be?

Let me tell you, the answer that I got when he told me about the question...wooooah....You don't create a character from a box.  You don't just get blessed by the drag fairy, and all of a sudden, you're a queen.  You have to have some idea, starting out, what you want to be.  Choose a genre: Horror, Comedy, Beauty, Musician, whatever.  Choose a character type: if you're going for comedy: Are you stand up? Are you sarcastic humor? Are you going to go for singing dirty parodies of pop songs?

Ok, so you're going for Stand up Comedy queen:  Who are you?  Is your character crazy?  Is your character a single drunk woman, who will sleep with anything with a pulse?  Are you the old lady full of one liners, like Sophia from the Golden Girls?

These are the things you need to know, in order for your character to develop.  Without a backstory for your character, you'll never have the right information for your stand up, for one.  And, by the same token, if you don't know the character, how are you going to find the right outfits?  If you're going for Mama Sophia, a lady in her 80's, more than likely, you're not going to be wearing prom gowns, or bikinis.  You're going to want to camp up the old lady purple hair, and wear the cardigans, and pants pulled up to right under your boobs.  By the same token, if you're going for the drunk single woman, you're going to want to play up the part of being drunk, and single, so you're going to dress a lot sluttier.

Anyway, my point being, drag is a learning process, throughout the lifetime of your character.  You have to have a bit of creativity, to be able to pick out what you're actually good at, and play to your strengths.  Don't try to be RuPaul, or any other queen that you've seen on tv (or in person).  Be yourself.  Know yourself well enough to know what you'll excel with.  And, bring it!  Just remember that you're the only one who will be able to bring out your inner drag queen.

A Cock in a Frock, on a Rock...

When I started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, last year, the biggest question that I had, of all drag queens, was, are all drag queens that bitchy?

From where I stand, the answer is, maybe.

Hear me out.  This is going to be a long post, and most definitely doesn't have a clear answer to the question.

Every movie that I've watched with a drag queen character in it, has had a queen, who over all the other characters, is the bitch.  Throughout the course of the movie, you come to find out the reason that she's such a bitch, is because she's had a shitty life, and that she had to toughen herself up, in order to deal with life.  From my experience, any homo is going to tell you that that's their life story.

Does that give you any particular excuse for being a bitch then?  Not really.

When I started dating Dan, I was terrified of the drag world.  Until I started to really experience what it was like going to shows.  For once in my life, I felt like it didn't matter that I was there. I wasn't anyone's thorn in their side.  And, I was accepted for being the blatant homo that I sometimes feel like I am.  I have never felt more comfortable, than I have being brought in by the drag world.

What happens though, is from time to time, a queen thinks that she's better than anyone else, and starts throwing her weight around.  When this happens, the queens around her, generally go on the defensive.  Usually, with good reason...they're being attacked, or they've been wronged somehow.

Drag queens are the best of both worlds.  They're men, and behave like men, except for when they're being women.  This is an observation, that needs to be taken as such.  Stereotypically, men get pissed off at each other, have it out, and then make up.  It happens.  Stereotypically, women get pissed off at each other, and hold a grudge forever.  Stereotypically, this is common throughout the entire gay world.  It just has been more publicized in the drag world, through the movies, and shows like Drag Race.  According to media, drag queens are the top of the hill when it comes to catty, bitchiness.  And, some of the people that I know personally, have furthered this stereotype, in their behavior.

A rule in life to remember, is that people are always going to talk.  It's one that I learned very early in life.  At 7, I learned a vast majority of the names that kids call kids like I was.  Not a single one of them was nice.  Come to think of it, a lot of the time that I've heard people talk about me, it hasn't been nice.  (Sorry, back on topic)  Oh yeah, my point here was that there's gotta be some kind of conviction behind what's being said.  If you're going to call me a whore, make sure that I'm slutting it up.  Wanna call me sloppy seconds? Take a look at yourself, and check to see whether you're doing better at life than I am.  Because the final result, is going to be that someone's going to get pissed off in the long run, and you better believe that you're going to get a reading like you've never had before.

I don't care who you are, if you say something bad about a person, there's a reason that you said it.  And, alcohol is not an excuse.  You were already thinking it, and the alcohol just cut down on your inhibitions, and let it slide off your tongue.  "I didn't mean it," isn't a reason either.  You did mean it at some point, if those words came out of your mouth.

Now, at this point, it sounds like I'm villifying drag queens, and that is totally NOT my intention.  Because NOT all drag queens are villains.  Drag queens in general, are some of the most caring people that you'll ever meet.  Statistically, according to "The Official Drag Handbook," by Todd Kachinski-Kottmeier (The Infamous Todd), "For every $10 earned for LGBT cause, $8.82 came in through the assistance of a female impersonator." That's a pretty hefty sum, and bear in mind, that is just talking specifically about the LGBT causes.  That doesn't encompass the numerous other charities that these people support.

They may be crass, or they may be classy.  But, one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that when a queen is performing, is the best time.  At Shaunna Rai's last show in Lewiston, I had invited my cousin.  She had said that she wanted to meet Shaunna Rai.  At the time I invited her, I had no idea that there was anything really going on in her life that she would need a break from.  The show was great.  And, after the show, while we were waiting for the girls to get packed back up, I found out how much of a release it was for her to be at the show, instead of dealing with her life.  She needed the cheering up, that drag brought to her.  (Well, not just drag, but Shaunna Rai, and her girls...)

My point, is this.  Drag queens have a reputation of being bitchy, because they sometimes can be.  But, there's so much more to a queen than a bitchy attitude.  There's creativity, there's grace, there's humor.  There's a sense of community, and a need to give back.  And, most importantly, there's the ability to make a person feel welcome, when that person has felt shut out all of their life.

So, are all queens that bitchy?  No.  But, some are.  And, I think that will never change. 

Upcoming Shows

Various Mondays: Styxx for Watch RuPaul's Drag Race with Taffy Pulls

April 10: Danielle's Birthday Show at Blackstones

April 12: Phierce Friday with DJ Aga at Mainestreet Ogunquit

April 13: Shaunna Rai and her Dolls at Altera

April 18: Battle of the Divas, P!nk vs Kelly Clarkson at Club Cafe, Boston

May 4th, 7pm at Bates College

June 10: Miss Blackstones Competition

I am not a Drag Queen

I'm not a drag queen. I don't play one on tv. I have only dressed in drag twice in my life. At some point, you will see the pictures, I'm sure.

That being said, I have found myself embraced by the Portland drag community. I come from a small town on the coast of Maine, where drag is only done by high school jocks, on Halloween, because: a) They have  the bodies for it, and b) they're the only ones who can come out of it, unscathed.

RuPaul is not a common topic of conversation, back home. Drag is not spoken of. Being gay is something you hide, and nobody would ever be caught dead impersonating the opposite gender.

My goal, with this blog, is to open up the Drag Closet, so to speak. I want to try to answer some questions that I have about drag in general. I want to do some interviews with some drag queens. I want to explain what its like to date a drag queen, from my own experiences. I hope to promote venues, and shows, and the Queens who have taken me under their wings, without trying to "recruit" me. I want to give some exposure to the business side of a community that is most often treated like clowns.

I know, I'm hoping for a lot, from a blog. And, we'll see what happens. Anyway, thanks for joining me for the ride.