A Few Things Coming Up...

So, I know, I normally write about events that have already happened.  And, I know, that I'm behind by about three events.  But, I have a couple of events coming up that I want to talk about, because they're for causes that are close to my heart.

If you follow me on Facebook, you probably know that this weekend is the Southern Maine HIV/AIDS Walk, in Ogunquit.  It's an amazing event that raises money for the Frannie Peabody Center, to help with their funding.  The Frannie Peabody Center offers free HIV testing, goes to schools to talk about prevention, and also assists with care for those who are currently dealing with HIV or AIDS diagnoses.  At one point, when I was single, and stupid, a free test from the Frannie Peabody Center helped me to realize how dumb I was by not being a little more careful.

With Shaunna Rai, having been Miss AIDS Awareness for like 4 years running, it is also a cause near to her heart.  Shaunna and I, along with Miss E,on will be at the Red Party: Roundup at the Front Porch this Friday evening, with an after party and show at Mainestreet afterward.  This is always a fun event.  I'm actually excited, because this year, I actually have a red outfit to wear.  (Yes, there will be pictures later, I promise.)

The Walk itself will be on Saturday afternoon.  Shaunna, E,on, and I will be around to cheer on the walkers/runners.  I'll be snapping pictures, like crazy, just like I did last year.  The walk is followed by a cookout at Mainestreet, then a Tea Dance.  If you're not able to make it, and want to make a donation, you can do so here.  Tell Jimmy I sent you!

The only thing missing this year, is the Brunch on Sunday at Bessie's.  Well, and having Joslyn Fox around for the weekend.  That was pretty cool last year.

Dragapalooza is coming up the following weekend...There's a ton of performers this year, so it'll be a good show.  I'll be there with my parents.  You'll be able to tell that it's us, because there will be three cameras going, right in a row.

Of course there are a bunch of other events coming up, but one that I want to get some attention, is a fund raiser for Ariel Maranda Gibbs, who is a good friend of Shaunna's.  While I have yet to meet her, I am friend with her on Facebook, and have been following the heartbreaking Mouth Cancer diagnosis last year, through the treatments, to the seeming remission, and back to another round.

Cancer has been a biggie in my family, and with people around me.  So, it's another thing that is close to my heart.  July 26th, at Jacques Cabaret in Boston, Shaunna and a whole host of kings and queens will be performing for us to benefit Ariel.  ALL proceeds will go to Ariel to help pay for medical bills.

A GoFundMe has been set up for her as well.  So, if you are able, make a donation here, as well.

I enjoy the shows at Jacques, and I'm very much looking forward to this show, due to the number of performers that will be at the show.  Many of whom I have not seen before.  Their names, I recognize, but that's about it.  It will be an emotional show, I would imagine, but it will definitely be worth checking out.  So, if you can, make sure to be there.

Death of a Gay Bar...

Here in Portland, there are a group of gays, who on a monthly basis, take over a straight bar, just because they can.  They call themselves Guerrilla Queer Bar.  I understand the "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Over It" mentality.  Because, let's face it, it's 2014, not 1950.  We've become a visible.  

I've never participated in this, because, to be quite frank, even though, it's totally acceptable for a gay man to frequent "straight" establishments, I've never felt comfortable enough to do so. I would much rather spend my time either hanging out at the local "Cheers" environment, where everybody really does know my name...and everything about me, or go to a dance club, where nobody cares who I am.  But, a club where I'm the minority, that's just not my thing.  Maybe I am still living in a 1950's world, but I think we need the gay bars.

Unfortunately, gay bars, in the Easternmost states, are becoming a rare commodity.  When I first came out, the state of Maine had far more than it has now.  Bangor had a couple of bars, Augusta had one, Portland had (I believe) three at one point, and well, Ogunquit being Ogunquit, the gay capitol of Maine, had a couple.  Over the course of the last few years, the bars have been going out of business.  Bangor has "gay friendly" clubs, but none that cater to an exclusively gay clientele.  Augusta has none.  Portland still has two gay bars, which rumor has it, neither is doing as well as they could be...Lewiston, since I met Dan/Shaunna Rai, has had not one, not even two, but three different gay bars open and close.  And, Ogunquit has Mainestreet and the Front Porch (a dance club and a piano bar.)  

And, the blight that has been taking away the Maine gay bars, has moved on to New Hampshire, as well.  Over the summer, Shaunna Rai hosted a bag night at Elements, a bar in Manchester, NH.  And, a couple of weeks later, they announced that they would be closing.  (They've since reopened...)  And, then, this week, Paradym/Club 313 (whichever name you prefer to use, because it's the same club, under different management) announced that this weekend, they would be closing their doors.

Sadly, the state of business for many of these bars, is that everyone believes that they're doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, they're closed for good.  And, who is to blame?  

As a group, we, the gays, like to complain.  He's too ugly, he's too fat, he's too much of a whore.  This club is too dirty.  That club doesn't pay enough attention to their clientele.  This one has the same five performers, every week.  That one has too many performers, but they're always performing the same act.  We're never happy.  We need something newer.  Something flashier.  Something different.

And yet, the community as a whole, goes berserk when something happens to the club that they've been complaining about for years.  

I have some suggestions:

1.)  Instead of forcing ourselves on the straight people, why don't we invite them once in a while, to our world?

2.)  Even if you've seen the same seven drag queens at the same bar for the last seventeen years, performing the same seventeen numbers, let them know that you appreciate what they're doing.  More often than not, they're being paid minimal amounts, and getting by on tips.  

3.)  If you want to keep your gay bars around, so that when you feel like being gay, you can be gay, and nobody will give a fuck, SUPPORT YOUR BARS!!!!  I can't stress this enough.  People bitch the most about the bars that appeared to be doing well, that all of a sudden, BANG, they're gone.  Well, if you had been going there, instead of trying to "make a point of your queerness", maybe they'd still be around...

4.)  If you have suggestions for your bars, of what they could do to make things better, find out who you need to talk to, and talk to them!  The worst thing that can happen, is that they're going to say, "Hey, we tried that, and nobody liked it, but thanks for the idea." The best that can happen is that they say, "OMG! I hadn't even thought about that!  Thanks for the idea.  We'll try that!"  

5.)  A cover charge is not a rip off.  Often times, the cover charge is split between the bar and the entertainment for the evening.  If you're not interested in paying a cover charge, you might want to consider buying your alcohol, and having drinks with friends at home.  (You have less of an opportunity for getting picked up for an OUI that way...)

Some things just can't take the place of other things.  Your straight bar with a "gay night", is never going to take the place of your local Gay Bar.  It's not the same.  It's like saying that a Kindle is the same as reading a real book.  It's not.  While I love my Kindle, while I'm reading on it, I miss actually turning the pages, and the smell of the paper.  

Respect your present, because eventually, it is going to be your past.  And, if things keep going the way they have been over the last couple of years, in Maine and New Hampshire, the Gay Bar scene is going to be non-existent.  

Sure, you can still go play Guerrilla Queer Bar-hopper, but don't forget that you can go to your ACTUAL Queer Bar, and support them.  Because eventually, if we're not supporting our bars, they won't be there.  And we'll start bitching about the lack of a place to go where you can be gay, and not have to worry about being gay.

The Red Party

Most of my gay life, I've heard about the color parties, all over the place. Black parties, white parties. And, I've never been to one. Well, until Friday.

I'm a bit behind, because I've internetless, for a week or so. So, this is day two of the amazing weekend of drag. After going home Thursday night, we drove back to Ogunquit on Friday afternoon. On the way we stopped at Starbucks on the interstate.

We arrived at Mainestreet again, with overnight bags and stuff.  And, like the good drag husband I am, I did the majority of the transporting of suitcases and bags and makeup.  As we were going to be spending the night, and I'm able to eat little of anything that can be found in the immediate vicinity due to a gluten allergy, I was sent shopping.  But, before that, I was asked to pop open the wine for Shaunna Rai and Miss E'on.  Only, we didn't bring wine glasses.  So, wine in Starbucks cups it was.

When I got back from the store, faces were half put on, and I was getting excited.  E'on had made Shaunna a Red Ribbon dress, and for months that's all I'd heard about, was how the dress was going to be amazing.  So, I was excited to see it in person, with the face.  (I'd already seen it in fittings.)  And, finally, the faces were done, the bodies went on.  I changed into my red pants and black shirt with red bow tie.  Shaunna asked me to take some pictures before we left, so she could post one before the Red Party.  (Little did I know, it was going to be one of the "most liked pictures I've ever taken, with over 100 likes.)

So, it was off to the Red Party, at the Front Porch.  The Front Porch is a piano bar, practically across the street from Mainestreet.  I think, years ago, when I was 18, I went there for dinner, once with some friends. Aside from that, I've only been there for the Red Parties.  So, we get there, and there's a donation to get in.  After all, this is a fund raiser for the Frannie Peabody Center.  At the top of the steps, there is a photographer, who will take your pictures, for a donation, and immediately, the girls get pulled aside for photos with random strangers. And, I melt into the background for a few minutes, trying to stay out of the way of the waitstaff.

Shaunna recognizes Katie, who has been the contact for all the Frannie Peabody stuff for the weekend.  The usual, "you look beautiful", and "that outfit is amazing", goes on.  And, I'm offered a drink...which I take, because, let's face it, it's going to be a long night, and I barely know anyone here, and the girls are going to be mingling for quite some time.  Especially, since there's another event at Mainestreet immediately afterward.

And, then, they're off.  I spend a while just kind of standing in the corner, with some people who I actually know.  I realize how few people I actually know anything about.  And, I realize that at some point, I need to change my behavior, and try to be a little more social.  In the 20 minutes or so that I spent with Mat, Doug and Patrick, I learned more about them than I have learned in the last year and a half that I've known them.  Meanwhile, the waitstaff keep coming around with appetizers, that smell amazing.  Unfortunately, they're all either flatbreads, or fried stuff with a breading on them.  So, no appetizers for me.

The girls come back around, and then it's time for the auction.  So, I get up front, and start taking pictures of the items, and the caller.  I knew from last year, that this was going to be a weekend where money flowed freely.  I was not prepared for the amount of money that was dropped at the auction.  A massage went for like $600 or some crazy large amount.  Murals that had been done specifically for the Front Porch, years ago, went for a minimum of $1000 each.  One was almost $3000.

And, it's time to head back to Mainestreet.  On our way out, we run into Joslyn Fox, who is there out of drag.  And, same as the night before, he's super sweet, talking about how beautiful Shaunna is.

Once we get back to Mainestreet, the girls go back upstairs to readjust, and touch up.  And, I take up my post at the corner of the Gaycation Magazine table. Before they go upstairs, Shaunna meets a lesbian couple, and introduces them to me.  It turns out that they've been together for like 30 years, and been married for 8.  They were very nice, and bought me a drink.  And, we chatted for a while.  They begged me to make sure that nobody roofied Shaunna's drink (since they'd bought one for her as well) and then had me keep an eye on their drinks as well, while they went out and danced.

Meanwhile, I get all in a bad head space, and decide that this life is not for me. I hate being shy. I hate having to be the guy behind the scenes. I want to just not be me anymore.  I want to go home. I want to blend further into the woodwork, and disappear.  When they came back down, people started asking to snap pictures with us...and for once, I actually get to be in the pictures, which is exciting for me. Why is this exciting? Well, because I'm always on the other end of the camera...by choice. But, it's nice, sometimes, to be able to prove that I was actually at an event.

Shaunna did a number. Karaoke happened. E'on performed while doing karaoke. The guys from Gaycation Magazine bought me a drink. (I later found out that it was because they thought I should loosen up, and thought that a drink would help me break the silence. )

The night ended for us, relatively early. The girls left before I did. I was still nursing my Cape Cod, at the Gaycation table. Shaunna gave me the perfect excuse to leave the drink, and head upstairs to go to bed.  This was a moment for me. When we go out, I'm never alone, by design, for longer than a bathroom break. I needed to prove, after my headspace breakout, that I could do my own thing for a little bit. Of course, once the drink was gone, I booked it to bed. But, I managed to prove to myself that I could be happy doing my own thing and not needing to be entertained by anyone...even though I enjoy my people.

It's Spring....Hello Ogunquit!!

For many people, the unofficial beginning of the summer, is Memorial Day.  For us, it's pretty much the Frannie Peabody Center's AIDS Walk/Run Weekend.  Last spring was my first of these.  This year, I'll be lucky to wake up on Monday morning.  This is the (technically second day) first day of the Frannie Peabody events and other events both at Mainestreet and Front Porch in Ogunquit and Bates College in Lewiston over the next four days.

It's already been an interesting ride, to get to this point.  I started off last week, knowing that before I got hired at either of my jobs, that I'd mentioned that I was going to need the days off this weekend.  And, at both places, I was told, "It's no problem."  And, then, I got scheduled to work, three of the four days that I needed off.  And, panic set in.  Fortunately, I brought it up in time to get it covered.  But, the wait for confirmation that it was actually covered, was literally at the last minute.  I found out for sure just before I left work for the night.

Tonight, is going to be an Ogunquit night.  This means Mainestreet.  This is the spot in the summer. It's walking distance to the beach.  It's the destination if you want to really get your dance on, during the warmer months.  They're open year round, and it's the place we go if we want to go out of town, without going all the way to Manchester or Boston.

Joslyn Fox of this season of RuPaul's Drag Race, is going to be in town for the entire weekend.  Tonight, she's guest bar tending at Mainestreet, and Shaunna Rai and Miss E,on will be selling shots, or tickets, or giving stuff away...I'm not entirely sure.  Tomorrow, she'll be around for the Red Party, if I understand correctly at both Front Porch and Mainestreet as will Shaunna and E,on. Shaunna will be hosting and judging a contest for the best Red outfit, then the party continues afterward at Mainestreet, where Shaunna and E'on will be performing.  Saturday morning, Joslyn's rumored to be running in the Walk/Run. Shaunna and E,on will be cheering the participants on.  Saturday at 7pm, on the other side of the state, Shaunna and E,on will be co-hosting and performing in the 6th annual Lewistunning Dragapalooza.  Saturday evening, she will be performing at Mainestreet. And, Sunday morning, Shaunna Rai and Miss E,on will be waiting tables at Bessie's in Ogunquit for a brunch.

With the amount of driving involved in this weekend, I'm a little bit overwhelmed.  But, now that the weekend, is for sure off, and I don't have to worry about working, I can start to relax.  And, I can let myself enjoy the reason that I've been looking forward to it in the first place.  It's a drag weekend.  Which means, it's gonna be fun.  And, I get to add another RuPaul girl to my list of girls that I have met, by the end of it all.  My grand total will be: 3.  Raven, Jujubee and Joslyn Fox.  You gotta start somewhere, right?

So, two hours to go time... And, hopefully, I won't be killed by any exploding suitcases this weekend.