Take Me To Church...

Marcus Bennett, for whom the benefit was held.

 The period between December, and June, seems to be the busiest period for drag, in Shaunna Rai's booking schedule.  This is great for her, but it kind of sucks, as far as when shows happen.  Because, any time between December and (to be safe) April, there's a good chance of snow.

Sheneeda Diet opened the show.

At work, they're getting frustrated with me, I think, because, I ask for a lot of time off, for shows.  However, I make it up to them, most of the time.  We had an overnight person, who has given his notice, and so, there's overnights open.  Since I've been going crazy dealing with some of the behaviors, recently, at work, I decided that some overnights, might not be a bad thing...although, they might kill me, because the lack of sleep makes it really hard to recover...

So, Friday night, I did the overnight.  Which is fine.  However, Saturday, the day of the show, when I left work, it had started snowing.  I hate snow.  Yeah, it's pretty, yeah, it's cool.  But, yeah, I suck at driving in it.

Jacinda

The entire drive home from work, all I could think of was, "I hope the storm is over, before we have to leave to go to Lewiston for the show."  When I finally got to sleep, it was still snowing.

It was still snowing, when I woke up a few hours later.  And, texts were flying furiously, about whether or not the show was going to be cancelled or not.  It was finally determined that the show must go on.

I was half relieved that it was still going to happen...and at the same time, I was irritated, because, it meant that I was going to have to drive in the crappy snow, to a show that Shaunna wasn't getting paid for, for a person who I didn't know.

Shaunna Rai

While I processed all that, I realized how much of a jerk that made me.  The show was a benefit, to "Pay it Forward," to the family of a young man who was known for "Paying it Forward."  Really, I didn't have any right to be angry...because Shaunna gave me the option of not going to the show.  I had a perfect excuse...I had worked the overnight, and so, I needed to sleep.  I was the one who chose to go to the show.  If I was going to be mad at anyone, it needed to be myself, not the show.

Leanna Love

I've been getting better, about having things ready to go, before Shaunna is ready to walk out the door...because I've gotten flack for that, in the past.  And, so Saturday night, I was on top of things again.  The car was loaded, and I just had to make sure that Shaunna's door was unlocked before she got to the car.  So simple.

Finally, it was time to leave.  And, the panic started to set in.  I don't consider myself a good driver, in the best of conditions, much less, when there's three inches of slush on the road, and half of the traveling I have to do before I get to the highway is uphill, because, let's face it, Portland is built on a hill, that we live in the middle of.

Miss E,on does "Take Me to Church".

It was actually, kind of funny, Occasionally, I hear Shaunna coming out of Dan's mouth, but it's very rare to have the opposite happen.  Driving up High Street, praying that the car would make it, Dan reminded me (using Shaunna's mouth) not to stomp on the gas, and to pump the brakes, and not slam on them.

Once we finally got to the highway, the roads were clear, and I could relax again...at least, until we made it to Lewiston, where the roads were nasty again.

Sheneeda Diet, with the mane.

I wasn't sure quite what to make of the night, given the weather.  A few people had said that they would try to make it to the show.  So, once we got there, and I brought in the suitcase, and some wigs that Dan had re-worked for Sheneeda Diet and Brystal Kreme, I went to find a place to sit.

When you're early for a show, it's kind of boring, sitting and waiting.  Especially, when it's a show, where people might not come out, because the roads are gross.  So, I found my spot, and waited.  People started to trickle in, in ones and twos.  Shaunna came out to get a drink, and while she was out, a friend from school and his friend came.  So, conversation started.  Eventually, I took them both to my table.

In the meantime, another friend of ours came, with a friend of his, who is a huge fan of Shaunna's.  They sat at my table too.  For a few minutes, I felt special.  I had people sitting with me, who wanted to be there, not because they were assigned to be there.

Jacinda

Shaunna's fan, Andrea asked me what time the show was going to start.  I told her, quite honestly, the poster says 9:30pm, but, it'll probably be later than that.  Drag time is it's own time zone.

Finally, the show started.

The first number was the tribute number, by Sheneeda Diet.  A slow, sad song, but totally fitting, considering the ultimate reason for the show was the death of a young man.

Sheneeda Diet

The show went very quickly, once it started.  Jacinda was up next, then Shaunna Rai, Leanna Love and Miss E,on.  E,on's number floored me.  Hozier's Take Me to Church, only it was a female cover.  (I've spent the week since the show, with the song stuck in my head...Thanks E,on!)  Sheneeda Diet was back out, with one of Shaunna Rai's stand by songs...although, which, I don't remember, at this point.  I loved the hair.  I watched it go from an old wig to the giant mane with blonde highlights that it is now.

Leanna Love

The show took a break.  When people came back from smoking, or buying drinks, or whatever, they did a raffle.  When Shaunna got drinks, she also bought tickets.  The goal was to get one of two gift baskets...one filled with candy and tickets to the movies.  The other, was a gift certificate to Lotus Chinese restaurant, which also included movie theater tickets.  Unfortunately, we won neither.  But, at least the money raised was going to go to the family.

Miss E,on's All About The Bass.

Jacinda started the second half of the show.

Then Sheneeda Diet again, with another of Shaunna's usual songs.  It was interesting to see someone else perform the same song.  It was a little weird, because these are numbers that I've seen so often, that I pretty much know what movements happen when...so when they didn't happen, it was a little jarring.

Leanna Love went next.  She's great when it comes to working the audience...but as a subject to photograph, I got frustrated with her.  Since the emcee told us that there was no flash photography allowed, I had to use the existing lighting for pictures.  (When I asked her about it later, she said that she hated the lights, because they're so bright that you can't see anything anyway...so it made sense that she stayed away from them.)

Shaunna Rai

E'on went again, and shocked me.  I have never seen her in anything other than her black and/or purple hair (and blonde once, but only in pictures.)  She came out in red hair.  She did Meghan Trainor's All About the Bass, a song that I immediately thought of her, the first time I heard it.

 Throughout the course of the night, I played with camera settings, in hopes that at least some of the pictures would come out, since I couldn't use a flash.  And, in the process, I would every so often review what I had just taken.  And, I found, at some point, I had changed the settings, so that I could literally hold the trigger, and it would automatically take multiple pictures.  So, when I reviewed it, it was almost like playing back the show, only minus the music.

Shaunna was next to the last number.  And, as usual, had a couple tear aways.  (Reviewing it in reverse was fun, watching her put things back on, as they flew back at her.)

Brystal Kreme

Finally, it was the new girl, who I had never met, much less seen perform...as it was her first time performing.  Brystal Kreme moves fast, and didn't seem to like the light any more than Leanna Love did.  (Neither of which made for good photos.)  She was very much involved with the audience...so much so, that at one point, while visiting our friends, she actually knocked my camera out of my hands into my lap. (No damage was done, thankfully.)

And, just like that, the show was over.

There was a bit of a meet and greet at the end.  The girls made themselves available for group photos with anyone who wanted them.

The crowds cleared out, and it was time to go home.  Lewiston was still a mess, the Turnpike was fine, and Portland was still a mess.  But, we made it home safe and sound.

Death of a Gay Bar...

Here in Portland, there are a group of gays, who on a monthly basis, take over a straight bar, just because they can.  They call themselves Guerrilla Queer Bar.  I understand the "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Over It" mentality.  Because, let's face it, it's 2014, not 1950.  We've become a visible.  

I've never participated in this, because, to be quite frank, even though, it's totally acceptable for a gay man to frequent "straight" establishments, I've never felt comfortable enough to do so. I would much rather spend my time either hanging out at the local "Cheers" environment, where everybody really does know my name...and everything about me, or go to a dance club, where nobody cares who I am.  But, a club where I'm the minority, that's just not my thing.  Maybe I am still living in a 1950's world, but I think we need the gay bars.

Unfortunately, gay bars, in the Easternmost states, are becoming a rare commodity.  When I first came out, the state of Maine had far more than it has now.  Bangor had a couple of bars, Augusta had one, Portland had (I believe) three at one point, and well, Ogunquit being Ogunquit, the gay capitol of Maine, had a couple.  Over the course of the last few years, the bars have been going out of business.  Bangor has "gay friendly" clubs, but none that cater to an exclusively gay clientele.  Augusta has none.  Portland still has two gay bars, which rumor has it, neither is doing as well as they could be...Lewiston, since I met Dan/Shaunna Rai, has had not one, not even two, but three different gay bars open and close.  And, Ogunquit has Mainestreet and the Front Porch (a dance club and a piano bar.)  

And, the blight that has been taking away the Maine gay bars, has moved on to New Hampshire, as well.  Over the summer, Shaunna Rai hosted a bag night at Elements, a bar in Manchester, NH.  And, a couple of weeks later, they announced that they would be closing.  (They've since reopened...)  And, then, this week, Paradym/Club 313 (whichever name you prefer to use, because it's the same club, under different management) announced that this weekend, they would be closing their doors.

Sadly, the state of business for many of these bars, is that everyone believes that they're doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, they're closed for good.  And, who is to blame?  

As a group, we, the gays, like to complain.  He's too ugly, he's too fat, he's too much of a whore.  This club is too dirty.  That club doesn't pay enough attention to their clientele.  This one has the same five performers, every week.  That one has too many performers, but they're always performing the same act.  We're never happy.  We need something newer.  Something flashier.  Something different.

And yet, the community as a whole, goes berserk when something happens to the club that they've been complaining about for years.  

I have some suggestions:

1.)  Instead of forcing ourselves on the straight people, why don't we invite them once in a while, to our world?

2.)  Even if you've seen the same seven drag queens at the same bar for the last seventeen years, performing the same seventeen numbers, let them know that you appreciate what they're doing.  More often than not, they're being paid minimal amounts, and getting by on tips.  

3.)  If you want to keep your gay bars around, so that when you feel like being gay, you can be gay, and nobody will give a fuck, SUPPORT YOUR BARS!!!!  I can't stress this enough.  People bitch the most about the bars that appeared to be doing well, that all of a sudden, BANG, they're gone.  Well, if you had been going there, instead of trying to "make a point of your queerness", maybe they'd still be around...

4.)  If you have suggestions for your bars, of what they could do to make things better, find out who you need to talk to, and talk to them!  The worst thing that can happen, is that they're going to say, "Hey, we tried that, and nobody liked it, but thanks for the idea." The best that can happen is that they say, "OMG! I hadn't even thought about that!  Thanks for the idea.  We'll try that!"  

5.)  A cover charge is not a rip off.  Often times, the cover charge is split between the bar and the entertainment for the evening.  If you're not interested in paying a cover charge, you might want to consider buying your alcohol, and having drinks with friends at home.  (You have less of an opportunity for getting picked up for an OUI that way...)

Some things just can't take the place of other things.  Your straight bar with a "gay night", is never going to take the place of your local Gay Bar.  It's not the same.  It's like saying that a Kindle is the same as reading a real book.  It's not.  While I love my Kindle, while I'm reading on it, I miss actually turning the pages, and the smell of the paper.  

Respect your present, because eventually, it is going to be your past.  And, if things keep going the way they have been over the last couple of years, in Maine and New Hampshire, the Gay Bar scene is going to be non-existent.  

Sure, you can still go play Guerrilla Queer Bar-hopper, but don't forget that you can go to your ACTUAL Queer Bar, and support them.  Because eventually, if we're not supporting our bars, they won't be there.  And we'll start bitching about the lack of a place to go where you can be gay, and not have to worry about being gay.

Let's Have a Kiki

Shaunna's Friday look

Some of you will know what that means.  Others, will think that I'm making up words.

According to Urban Dictonary, a Kiki is:

A party including good music and good friends, held for the express purpose of calming nerves, reducing anxiety and stress and generally fighting ennui. May involve locked doors, tea and salacious gossip

In the drag world, this is a term that refers to two or more queens getting ready together.  

Dana and I with the girls

One would think, that after a year and a half, that I would be used to the conversations that drag queens have.  But, deep down, I'm still the small town boy, who blushes when someone says I'm hot, much less when they're talking about anything dirty.  And, drag queens thrive on double entendres and skewing conversation so that it sounds dirty, even if it really isn't.  An example, "You've always got to clean the tip afterward." Maybe it was the Cape Cod and a half that I'd had, but when this came up in conversation, regarding eyelash glue, I couldn't help but think that it was meant to sound like something else... I'll leave it up to your imagination to figure out what that could possibly mean.

Sheneeda Diet

Anyway, this was a weekend of drag. Shaunna Rai and Vanila Honey-Bush got their kiki on, although, they were headed to two different locations, only to end up back at the same location...Blackstones.

Shaunna Rai

 Shaunna Rai and I went out to Mainestreet Ogunquit, for the Mardi Gras party, for a little bit.  We met some friends there. I might have made fun of a guy who sounded a little bit like Willie Nelson while he was karaoke-ing. And, then we went back to Portland, for Blackstones.  The night took a turn for the better once we got back to Portland.  I was more relaxed. I met a fan of my blog. (I keep finding out people are reading it, and it still surprises me that anyone's interested in what I have to say.)  

Miss E'on

The night, like the first night that I met Dan, ended up at Denny's.  Shaunna, Chad, Chad's man, and Lee. We were greeted at the door, by a couple ladies, who proclaimed to be the welcome wagon.  On the way in, they were like, "That lady is really tall." And, of course, Shaunna Rai, being Shaunna Rai, said, "And, he has a big dick." Stories were told, and fun was had.  At the end of the night, Shaunna got Dan a potential new client, by handing out a business card.  This woman loved Shaunna's "extensions." So, they got talking, and Shaunna was like, "I'm a man." And, the woman freaked out a little, but not before telling her friend, "I told you so!"  And, then, it was time to go home and get some sleep, because the drag was going to be happening all over again on Saturday.

Leanna Love

The morning started off badly. The landlords at our apartment, pay a bare minimum, apparently, for care for the parking lot behind the building.  Thus, it's a sheet of ice, that probably won't be gone until mid May... And, we got stuck on it.  After calling them, knocking on their door, and sending them a text, to see if anything could be done, I still got no response.  Although, they did get a car that was blocking us in, to move, so that we could get out.  Fishy much?  From there, things started looking up.  Dan and I have found a place that sells Gluten Free Donuts, so, I can stop feeling deprived of donuts.  The Holy Donut, is one of my new favorite places in town.  I recommend the pomegranate glazed and the chai glazed donuts.

Vanila's signature split

Once I had a happy tummy, Dan started packing Shaunna's bags, and getting ready to go.  And, I got to go shopping... For shoes... For Shaunna. I've been lucky, for the most part.  Dan never makes me do anything that I'm totally uncomfortable with.  And he's made it clear that if I'm not up for doing it, that I need to speak up and tell him.  That being said, I had reservations about going out, specifically to buy pumps. "You know what ones I'm talking about, right?"  "Yes, they're the ones that are half neon yellow vinyl looking, and half black velvet, with wings. And, I'm buying a matress pad for your AIDS walk outfit, and the nude color shoes from Deb's..." And, yep, that's what I did.   And, I just about died, when I bought the yellow and black shoes, and the cashier looks at me and says, "Wow, you're the second guy to come in and buy these shoes today."  Um...ok...wow...

Miss E'on

Sheneeda Diet

So, yeah.  The car got loaded up for the trip to Lewiston. And, we were off, like a herd of turtles (because apparently, I drive like an old lady, who ISN'T from Pasedena.  We got there, and got settled down, and then came the call for alcohol.  The ladies like to pregame while they're getting ready for a show.  Only, nobody thought to get alcohol, before we got to Lewiston.  So, it became my responsibility to go out and get some, while they started getting ready.  I managed. With a GPS, and a little luck.  Because I have no idea where I am, most of the time.  I'm one of those totally, undeniably stupid people with directions.  "You go, right, then right, then right, in my head, means that I'm going around in a circle.  Not that there's still one more right to make it a full trip around the block... But, I survived, and managed to get back, with alcohol.  So, all was good.

Shaunna Rai,
Mannequin Realness

The kiki leading up to the show...well, it was like it always is.  A lot of talking. A bit of calling people out. Some joking about things. And, a lot of vague references to the male anatomy, veiled by the conversation itself.  While the kiki is the weirdest part for me, because it's when the guys turn into the girls...and it doesn't always happen when the makeup is on.  Sometimes it's before.  Or, midway.  At some point, the conversations change just ever so slightly, so that you know that it's no longer Dan talking, but Shaunna Rai.  For all intensive purposes, it's jarring, even after so long.  Upcoming shows were being planned.  And, then, suddenly, everyone was ready.

Joey Starr

Having never been to the Acme club before, I had no idea what to expect from the venue.  Apparently, it's a private club, and so smoking in the building is actually allowed, if you have a membership.  (This was both good and bad for me, because as I'm no longer smoking but sometimes like to smell it, I had that opportunity.  However, it also put the craving in my mind, and I'm still trying to stifle it, two days later.)  The main area was larger than most of the venues that Shaunna has performed at, because it wasn't confined to a stage.  The "dancefloor" area was a runway of sorts.  Which would've been great, if the patrons hadn't been so into it, and crowded the floor to get close enough to take pictures of the girls...which made it awful for me to get pictures without pushing my way through the crowd.

Leanna Love

It was a good crowd, and interestingly enough, an overwhelming support of family was there.  My parents came out to see the show, and support Shaunna.  Benni (Miss E'on)'s dad and his wife came to support, and Larry (Leanna Love)'s mom and sister came out to support.  Along with friends of ours from Portland, and even a couple of people that Dan knew as far back as 7th grade.  

Sheneeda Diet

I got to help pick out the music that Shaunna would be performing to, which is always fun. Except for when I get nervous that I've read the crowd right that a song is going to work well with the crowd, and it flops. Then, not so much. But, it worked out okay.  I also got to help Vanila get her music. She didn't have anything picked out, prior to arrival, and so, it ended up being a last minute download, and send the email to DJ Craig.  And, for whatever reason, my email decided that it was going to crap out on me.  It took about 17 tries to get everything to work, before the email actually got to the DJ.

Shaunna Rai

Given that it was Mardi Gras Madness, people were dressed up with masks, and whatever.  And the main goal of the night was to get yourself some beads.  Like the real New Orleans Mardi Gras, people were willing to do whatever, in hopes of getting beads.  Except my mom.  While we were waiting for the show to start, someone came out with beads.  And a rowdy table to the right of us, started chanting, "Beads, beads, beads." And, then, like a bolt of lightning, out of nowhere came these pale white globes! One of the women had flashed her chest for beads.

Vanila 

"I can tell you right now, I won't be doing THAT for beads," my mom said.  And, I had a bit of a buzz, and looked at her and said, "that's okay, I'll do it."  And, then did a bit of a nip slip, and showed off the nipple ring I got for my birthday, that neither of my parents had seen before...Come to think of it, it wasn't really worth it.  I didn't get any beads for showing it off...

Miss E'on

The show itself was great, although, the sound system was way off.  From where I'd gotten my seat, I could hear about two words out of every 5, between feedback from the mic and I assume, the bass.  And, it didn't really matter who was talking.  The only time that I could actually tell what was being said, was when it was a name.  And, at the end of the show, when Sheneeda Diet announced that the buffet was open.

Sheneeda Diet

To be honest, the only reason that I understood that the buffet was open, was because aside from the donuts in the morning, all I'd eaten all day was a couple of Rice Krispy treats from the gas station.  And, I'd heard that Michael (Sheneeda) had made meatballs for the buffet, and during the entire show, that was all I could smell...well that, and the cigarette smoke from downstairs.  I was starving.  And, the meatballs were amazing.  I may or may not have brought home a large ziploc bag of them...

Shaunna's outfit was
stoned by me and Dan.

At the end of a show, I tend to avoid going backstage, until I'm summoned. Only because I know what goes into tucking, and I know what's going to come out of the untucking process. And, I like to imagine that magically, they just turn back into boys.  You know, like in Cinderella, when at midnight, her dress turns back to a rag dress.  Only, with boy clothes.  So, when I go backstage, I never know what exactly to expect.  And, at the end of the night, when Shaunna's suitcase died, well, it wasn't quite the perfect ending to a good night...

Prodigy Diamond