Evie Does It

Sometimes, people creep into your life, and make their way into your heart. Often, I fight against letting this happen.  I have a bad habit of pushing people away, who want to be close to me, because I have this fear of them leaving.  So, if I don't let them in, they can't hurt me when they leave. (I know, it's lame.  But, it's real. Working in Social work, I see it all the time.)

When I first moved to Portland, it was to get away from having been hurt.  I figured, if I moved somewhere, where nobody knew me, that I could start over fresh.  And, really, I didn't expect that I would end up with friends...all my friends were from other places, and eventually, I would let those friendships lapse, as I got busier and busier with my new life.

Somewhere along the lines about two and a half years ago, I went to Blackstones, for the first time.  I knew of it, because of my roommate at the time, talking about it.  It had a reputation, from what I had heard of being a "leather bar," a "daddy bar", and "a dive bar," but above all else, it was most decidedly, "a GAY bar."  I was terrified.  I did the straight boy thing, and worried that everyone in the bar was going to hit on me, because I was a new, fresh face in the bar.  (I wasn't entirely wrong...)

Scott was one of the first people that I met.  He came over, and started talking to me, and introduced himself.  He intimidated me, at first.  We connected over the fact that I work in the social work field, and was at the time, working with a population of people with developmental disabilities, because he had a son who was disabled.

The first time I met Evie Does-It, I was flustered.  I couldn't figure out why I knew her, but I knew that I knew her.  Evie had a bad habit of talking more than she should, and throwing attitude at the wrong people.  At first I didn't get it.  But, when Shaunna Rai started bartending at Blackstones earlier this year, things started to finally make sense.

A lot of people have a bad habit of talking too much, when they shouldn't about people who don't deserve it.  Scott/Evie had medical problems, and a lot of ribbing came at the expense of those medical problems.  And, so, Evie did what I do, and pushed people away, by being bitchy to them.  She tried it with Shaunna once, and was read the riot act.  After that, their relationship changed, more to a mentoring kind of relationship.  Evie would ask Shaunna for advice about drag, and that was that.

Evie came to every drag show that I ever went to, in Portland.  She loved it.  And, a few months ago, she was talking about the fact that she was going to have a surgery to help lose some weight. Then, after the surgery, watch out world, because Evie is going to hit the stage.

Evie had started having wigs done by Dan, and her look was evolving, somewhat.  I would have loved to have seen what she could have become, with more time and guidance.

Unfortunately, Scott passed away last Saturday.  His timing couldn't have been worse.  Latrice Royale, from RuPaul's Drag Race, was coming to Styxx that night, and he was really looking forward to going.  Scott even had a date for the night.

I found out that he had passed, while I was at work.  And, working in the field I work in, it's hard to keep your emotions in check all the time. Especially for me, because my poker face is busted, and everything that goes through my mind shows up on my face. And, the kids I work with have been in the system long enough that they know how to read someone.  I was worried that something was going to happen to him, because he'd been in the hospital, and Dan, after one of the last shows, had said that he thought that something bad was going to happen, because Scott's skin looked off colored.  What I didn't expect, though, was how hard it would hit me.

Any time I tried to talk about him, I got choked up.  And, twice, before the show, I almost broke down in tears.  I would have skipped the show altogether, if I hadn't been tasked as the official photographer for the show.  And, then I thought about what he would have said to me.  And, realized that for as long as I've known him, he always wanted happiness for everyone he knew.  And, he would have wanted me to go, enjoy the drag, to know that he wasn't in pain anymore, and that he was there in spirit...

My heart goes out to Scott's family and friends.  I'm not able to go to his funeral, which makes me sad.  So, I will figure out some other way to say my goodbyes to him.

Evie, you'll be missed, and Blackstones will never be the same place without you. Good bye my friend.

What've You Done to Make You Feel Proud?

Pride, has always been an elusive thing for me.  Something that the "good" gays went to, and something that I always managed to miss out on.  I've been in the Portland area for going on 3 years, and only managed to make it to one and a half prides.  The first one, I was new in town, had no idea when pride was, and it just happened to fall while I was working.  Boo!  The second one, I was actually in the parade, with the bank, but I planned poorly.  I dressed for the cold weather that we had in the morning, not thinking about the fact that the parade route is about a mile, and the temperature was probably going to go up.  So, although I was part of it, I ended up going home, crashing, and missing out on the majority of the afternoon/evening events.

Needless to say, when I found out in January/February, that there were going to be some changes, I remained skeptical.  I knew that the previous incarnation of Pride was not as all inclusive as it should have been.  And, with the idea of a whole new committee, I didn't expect a lot...especially, as time went on and I found out that the starting budget for pride was $0...

The next few months, became a frenzy of fundraising.  Between the GoFundMe campaign, the Guest Bartenders, and the seemingly hundreds of other fundraisers, for a while, it seemed like that was all that Portland was about.  And, it made me feel good to know that the community was coming together, to put together a Pride event that the city hasn't seen (at least since I've lived here.) Over the course of four months, leading up to Pride, a whopping $40,000 was raised.


Instead of the one day Pride, that was the extent of things the previous two years, this year, was 10 days worth of Pride events.  (Eleven if you count the kickoff party in mid May.)  I can't even remember all the events, without looking them up.  There was bowling one night, a Wizard of Oz viewing and costume party, Drag Bingo, a Kickball Tournament, The Requiem to the Disco, Blackstones and Styxx shuttled people back and forth for an event called Styxx and Stones.  This all led up to the Parade on Saturday, and then the Pride Finale Tea Dance on Peaks Island on Sunday.

"Porn 'Stache"

I have never in my life been so amazed by what people can do when they all work together.  I didn't attend a lot of the events, due to scheduling, and the occasional lack of interest.  But, the ones that I did attend, were amazing.  We started out with Requiem to the Disco.  Basically, a night of Disco and drinking at Grace Restaurant.  I'd never been to Grace before, so had no idea what to expect of a former Church, turned Restaurant, much less a former church that was being overrun with the gay community.  Shaunna Rai and
Miss E,on attended, along with a porn 'stached me.  And, for the first time, since I moved here, I felt like I really was a part of the community.  I wasn't just Shaunna's boyfriend.  I wasn't just Dan's boyfriend.  I was an actual person on my own.  People were coming to talk to me.  Granted, most of it was to tell me how ridiculous the moustache was, and/or that they didn't recognize me with it.  But, this was a huge thing for me.

The ride home from the Disco was almost as much of an event as the Disco itself was.  A local singer had asked for a ride home, and I agreed to it.  She had performed, and blew everyone away, as she usually does.  I have to admit, one straight woman, two drag queens and me, makes for interesting conversation...unfortunately, most of the anecdotes from that night, have gone from my mind, because I put off writing this.  But, we have some pictures of E,on, that prove that something was HILARIOUS, while we were waiting in the drive thru at Burger King.

Madam Sheena and
 Miss Jo Ann

Next up, was the day of the parade.  Shaunna was putting her face on at 7am, to be ready to go to the Blackstones Annual Pride Breakfast.  Given that this was the 40th year for pride, and the theme of the Parade, and Blackstones's float was Ruby, Shaunna got to do her Best Dorothy look.  The routine of putting on the face, is nearly always the same.  The dressing is the biggest difference.  And, once the Dorothy outfit went on, I didn't know quite what to think.  It was Shaunna, but it was Dorothy.  And, to be quite frank, outside of tear-away outfits, I haven't seen Shaunna wear that much clothing in the entire time that I've known her.

Mr. New England Leather
 and Dorothy

Starting off the day with a mimosa or two, was nice.  I had a little bit of a buzz going before the parade started.  Chad and his man met up with us at Blackstones, before the float left, so I spent the morning with them.  Then stopped to get Starbucks for Dorothy before the parade started. The Starbucks line was crazy long...longer than it was last year at the same time.  Then, it was a race to get to Shaunna and back to my spot before the parade actually started.  I managed it, and got some pictures with Shaunna and Mr New England Leather 2014.  As usual, I forgot to get any pictures of myself with them...But, I had a parade to get back to...

Taffy Pulls

The Dykes on Bikes led the parade, as they have for many years, with the exception of last year, followed by numerous corporate supporters, churches, political candidates, and floats.  All followed up by a 900 foot Rainbow Pride flag, which pretty much made Congress Street, and the rest of the streets on the parade route look like it was being over-run by a stream of gay lava...Needless to say, it was really cool.  It then became a race to figure out how to get Shaunna back to the car, to get her home, to change, to get her back to Blackstones for Happy Hour.  At that point, the parade still hadn't finished, and roads were blocked off, so trying to drive down, wasn't going to work.  So, we walked.  Drove home, Dorothy changed into Shaunna.

Mat with the Frannie
Peabody Center

Shaunna as Dorothy

 I grabbed a Loopy cosmo, then went to the park, to see what was going on there, and to see if I could get a peek at Mimi Imfurst.  I managed the first, ran into every other drag queen that was there at the same time, and then left to get another drink.  I never did run into Mimi, but I'm willing to bet that this will not be the only chance that I get to meet her.  I normally don't do Shaunna's Happy Hours, until about the last hour or so, just because it's a little weird for me, occasionally seeing other people flirting with her.  But, I figured, "hey, it's Pride, I don't want to be stuck at home, passed out at 3pm again this year."  So, I stuck it out.  I don't remember exactly what led up to it, but one of the morning bartenders, and a regular ended up taking off their shirts.  I was told that I should take mine off, and shot back with, "I will if you'll buy my next drink."  And, so, the shirt came off.  And, from what I hear, it surprised a lot of people.  Honestly, it surprised me too, because the self-conscious Steve that I've always been was nowhere to be found that afternoon.

Shaunna's Happy Hour
 with JR

Shaunna's shift ended, and we went home.  I picked up some dinner, and then Dan and I went back to Blackstones.  I, unfortunately, faded pretty quickly, because I overdid things earlier in the day. But, it was a blast.

Sunday on Peaks was the culmination of Pride.  And, it was an interesting study of the Portland LGBT community. There are many people who don't attend the gay bars (Styxx or Blackstones) who I have probably seen on the streets of Portland, and never knew they were "family".  And, it's always interesting to see who interacts with whom at these events, because "types"who you wouldn't expect to interact, do.  It started out with the Ferry ride to Peaks Island, during which, I discovered that there was way more capacity on the boat than there were life jackets.  (For someone who doesn't swim, this is very concerning!) Once I got over my fear of going down like the Titanic, it was okay.  I took pictures along the way.  We were greeted by the Pride Committee, who were already on Peaks, setting up.  I met a bunch of people who Dan knew, who I had no idea who they were.  We spent the majority of the day with Darren and his boyfriend, David, and Miss Evie, along with appearances by Ralph from Blackstones, and a friend of Dan's who had moved away to DC.

My only issues with the day were: when I ordered my burger with no bun, and got one anyway, and at the end of the day, when we were given a cup of Coke with some kind of alcohol (tasted like Rubbing Alcohol) by guys from New Hampshire, who we met while waiting for the Ferry back to Portland.  Otherwise, the day was perfect.

All in all, the Pride Experience was one of the best experiences that I've had.  And, while I was hardly able to contribute anything to it, for this Pride, I want to do whatever I possibly can to make next year's Pride bigger and better.  And, I want to thank everyone involved with every part of planning the events that made this year such a success.  You all deserve the biggest pats on the back, and the most heartfelt thank you's.  You all are amazing, and I'm so grateful to you all for giving me an event that essentially made me feel that it's really okay to be me...because, essentially, that's what Pride is all about.

Big Doings....

I often feel like there is either a ton of stuff going on, or nothing going on.  Just like last year, the spring is the kick-off for drag season.  (I really hadn't thought about it, but the beginning of Drag Race, is more or less the unofficial beginning of Shaunna Rai's drag season.)

Last week, was the official start of Shaunna Rai's Happy Hours at Blackstones.  It was also the start of two new jobs for me.  Well, one new job, and being hired at a second.  So, Friday night, we decided to go out to celebrate.  

I had a few drinks. Chad and his man came, and hung out for a while.  Then, they left.  And, then, apparently, all hell broke loose.  Dan asked me if I wanted another drink, and I accepted.  I took a couple of sips of the new drink.  And, then, everything else I know, until I got home, I'm relying on hearing from other people.  Apparently, at some point, after the second sip of my drink, I lost consciousness.  I fell off my stool, and ended up on the floor.  My eyes rolled up in my head, and I was babbling incoherently.  I got up and back on a stool, and then, within minutes, I was back on the floor again, unconscious.  JR, the bartender gave me a glass of water (which I do remember) that I took a sip of, and then, BAM!  Back on the floor, unconscious.  The next thing I remember, was coming home, Dan asking me if I was okay. And, my going to sleep.  The next morning, the only thing I could think of was that I now knew what it felt like to be an abused person.  When I fell, I apparently, fell on some steps.  With my face.  And my arm.  I'm still sore in both spots, and it's been almost a week.

Tonight, is the first of a few events for Pride Fundraisers.  The next one, will be on Friday, at Blackstones.  Tonight, though, is at Styxx.  I was grateful, that today, after my training, I didn't have shadowing at the second job.  I got to come home and take a little bit of a nap, before the girls started getting ready.  Shaunna and Vanila will be serving up shots at Styxx, while some of the heads of the Pride Committee will be guest bartending, and Cherry Lemonade will be DJing.  And, it will all conclude with a show, around 11pm tonight.  

For me, tonight, is both a good thing, and a curse.  It's great, because it's something that I feel strongly about. We need Pride.  I've lived too many years, just being the gay guy, who didn't acknowledge that there was anything even a tiny bit good about being gay.  Last year was my first Portland Pride. And, given that I'm a Portland-er, I feel that given everything that is going on with the old committee and creating a whole new committee to chair Pride this year, I need to do what I can.  So, I'm already promoting any kind of fundraiser that I can.  And, I'm going to be as much of a part of it as I can be.  Whether that means that I'm posting facebook posts, or blogging about it, or attending events.  Even if I have to be at work at 8:30am, and ready to learn CPR/First Aid (again) tomorrow.

I guess, what it comes down to, is that I've never really been able to advocate for anything, or anyone, other than clients that I've worked with, doing the social work thing.  And, I've always wanted, and believed that I was meant to advocate for more.  I should be able to stand up for gay rights, or Pride, or AIDS research, or whatever the hell I want to.  Now, I have both the outlets and the abilities to do so.  So, I need to really take advantage of it.  

So, if you have time, and money, to do so, consider coming out to Styxx in Portland tonight, or Blackstones Portland, on Friday.  Or just donate what you can to Pride Portland, at: http://www.gofundme.com/prideportland

What do You Mean That's Tonight?

Let me just start off by saying, I'm a moron.  There.  Now that I've gotten that off my chest, here's why.

Tonight starts two shows that I like a lot.  Two shows that, as a blogger of things drag, should have made me specifically ask for the night off.  What am I talking about? Honey, if you haven't heard, then you must be living under a rock.  Tonight starts both RuPaul's Drag Race, Season 6, AND Watch RuPaul's Drag Race with Taffy Pulls.  Both star drag queens.  Both make me very happy.  AND, both are going to be unavailable to me, because I didn't realize that I should have asked for the time off...So, I'm stuck working tonight.  I get out of work after both shows will be over.  It's depressing.

This was the Taffy Pulls I first met, when I moved to Portland.  I knew of her, before I moved here, because she and my ex knew of each other through Facebook.  Coming from a small town, where drag consisted of what essentially boiled down to the literal sense of it, "Boys in dresses, sometimes with full beards," this particular look was not something I was at all familiar with.  Then again, I also believe that the first time I met this Taffy person, it happened to be a Harbor Masters night at Blackstones...thus the look, and my extreme discomfort.  I actually spent the following couple of days wondering if I had actually made the right decision to move...

Flash forward two years, and (where did the time go? Has it really been that long?) I consider Taffy to be one of my closest friends.  Mostly, because I don't like to let people get close to me.  Over time, I got to know Taffy as both Taffy and Shane.  Taffy and I bonded over the fact that Shane and I worked for the same company, although, at different times, and even at the same home.  Small world, right?  Taffy and I share a self-deprecating sense of humor...although, hers is decidedly much sharper than mine.  Because I try not to embrace my inner "Rose Nyland". I'm often the butt of a joke, but I don't want to admit it. I would like to say that Taffy actually inspires me to be me.  The fact that she can go from one show, as a Spoon, to the next as Stevie Nicks, to the next with Gaga's beer can hair. She's not afraid. She even ran for city council! And, this is why I love her.

Taffy's RuPaul's Drag Race show opened my eyes a bit to all the intricacies of drag, and that what most people consider to be drag is just a small portion of what real drag is. (This is also a lesson that Dan and Shaunna Rai have been impressing on me for as long as I've known them.)  I mean, when I first started getting involved in the world of drag, my understanding of it, was what I got from movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, and Trick, or the posters for movies like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert or To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.  In other words, drag was about attractive-ish men, who make really ugly women, but the world loves them anyway.

Over time, I've come to the realization, as I usually do, that it's not like that at all.  Sometimes in drag, the end result is much more beautiful than the beginning.  Sometimes, the whole thing looks like a mess, but it's planned out, that it's going to be a mess, and that's what's amazing about it.  Sometimes, queens border on scary.  Sometimes they're raunchy as hell.  Sometimes, they're as prim and proper as a Victorian corset.  Drag is a culture all of it's own.  And, there are just as many subcultures as you can imagine.

And, above it all, I've learned, through keeping this blog, that more than looking pretty, or getting attention (which are two reasons people actually do drag) the biggest thing with drag, is that you learn something about yourself.  You learn how to be better at what you're doing, if you're doing it.  You learn what you need to do to get the response you want from an audience.  And, if you're in the audience, you learn that there's nothing more interesting than a man in a dress (or a woman in men's clothing) because it will throw everything you know about people up in the air, and jumble all the pieces when they hit the ground.

And, what have I learned?  So much about myself.  I get jealous.  I get frustrated.  I wish some days, that I had the balls to get someone to "drag me up," and parade me around town, because nobody will know it's me.  I'm surprised every time someone tells me that they love my blog, because I don't stop to think that people actually read it.  I still have so much to learn. About drag. About life. About myself.  I have so many questions that I need to have answered. And, I'm a moron. Who loves drag, and the entire community.  Who is going to miss Taffy's first show of this season, and is going to have to watch RuPaul's Drag Race in reruns tonight, after work, to see the other half of the first episode that they didn't show online.

What it's Like to be a Bar Husband...

One of the interesting things that's going to be coming in the near future, is Shaunna Rai's guest bar tending stint at Blackstones.  She's been talking about bar tending at one of the local bars, pretty much, since I've known her.  Because, really, who is EVER going to forget about being served their drinks by a drag queen?  And, who is going to not tell everyone they know about it.

So, this is going to be starting on Saturdays, right around March 15th.

In the meantime, Dan will be training, to learn where everything is, and how to make the drinks, and the pricing and all that stuff, on Wednesdays for Happy Hour.

Up until recently had never considered what it would be like to be the other half of a bar tender.  To be completely honest, it's just like being the other half of a drag queen.  I knew it was going to be different than just going to the bar, like we normally do.  Because, I'd be sitting alone.  And, Dan (or Shaunna Rai) will be behind the bar, serving drinks.

Like so many other things that I've come to realize, by writing these blogs, I realized that I was jealous.  A) Because when I first moved to Portland, I'd hoped to become a bartender, at some point. and B) Because by sitting there watching, I got a little jealous of the guys who were flirting with him, while he was getting drinks ready for them.  The latter, I think, comes from the fact that I am an observer.  I watch people.  So, I notice the way people look at each other.  I notice the way that someone's fingers linger on someone else's just a second or two longer than is comfortable for most people.

So, what I need to remember, is that bartender Dan is going to be a character. Just like Shaunna Rai is a character.  Because, I know that he's going home with me at the end of the night.  And, flirting is all part of the game. It gets better tips.  As long as I can keep that in mind, then I'm going to be fine.  Because, for whatever reason, knowing that it's a character, makes it easier for me to deal with it.  There's some kind of separation that goes on in my mind that makes it all okay.  Yeah, I know. It's weird. But, it's me...

Meet: Vanila Honey-Bush

So, as most of you know, Vanila Honey-Bush is my roommate. When I first met Ryan (Vanila) he was with Dan, at a Khris Francis show.  And, if I'd realized at that time, that they were not a couple, I could have saved myself some poor decisions made during singlehood...I can't remember if I met Vanila before or after Ryan moved to Connecticut.  I want to say it was before, and I know I'll be corrected later, if I'm wrong about it. 

Anyway, Vanila was the second person to respond to my plea for research help.  And, it's always good to find out more about people you live with anyway, right? Especially, those with multiple personalities...

If you read the Meet: Bunny Wonderland post, you'll recognize the questions, as it's a set set of questions, that I put out there.

How did you get your start in drag?

I started drag when I was 19. My mother had a fascination with wigs and make-up. When she died, I entered a drag competition in Yboy City Florida wearing her hair and clothes.  I started really to pay homage to her but then discovered I loved it!

How did you get your drag name? (I should've, and probably will later, asked who named Delani?)

My original drag name was Delani Stevens. Didn't really have any meaning to it. I changed my drag name in 2012 to Vanila Honey-Bush at the request of my roommates at the time. I was drinking a tea and the name of the tea was Vanilla Honeybush and they said that it was me!

What is your favorite part of doing drag? 

My favorite part of doing drag is the social reactions. I love being the center of attention no matter where I go. Lets face it, queens certainly get noticed.

That's for sure.  Queens definitely get noticed, for a myriad of reasons.  

Queens tend to get categorized (ie. Comedy, Club Kid, Pageant Queen) What category do you consider yourself to be?

 I would probably get thrown into pageant queen strictly for my more "fishy" look, but I like to think I can be a healthy combo of many categories.

Have you ever experienced stage fright while performing? How did you overcome it?

 I have always been ok with the stage and spotlight. Don't ever really have to overcome that.

Have you ever won any titles/awards?

 I have won one title and currently still hold the title of Miss Blackstones 2013

Tell me about some of your (good or bad) backstage experiences with other queens.

Backstage with queens is not pretty. Think about it, most of the time back stage is spent changing and re-applying so tucks are popping and wigs are off.

Is it sad that I was almost disappointed by this answer. I was hoping to hear more horror stories, like the boots freakout. But, I get it. This is a good way to stay on everyone's good side.  Besides, if I grill her more, I'm sure I can get some dirt on some bad backstage experiences...something worse than seeing someone pop a tuck...

Do you do your own hair, makeup, costuming? Or do you have help with some or all of the above?

 I do my own make-up and buy my own clothes. Haven't really been a huge costume kind of girl. When it comes to hair, I buy. I could style my own if I wanted, however I have an awesome friend... Shaunna Rai who helps with that.

Tell me about a memorable adventure that you've had that you would not have had if not for drag. 

Most memorable drag adventure.... hmmmm thats a hard one.  I may have to come back to you on that as most of the times are quite memorable.

She's right with this. In just the year plus, that I've known her, there have been some very memorable times.  I think the one that stands out the most (for me), was when she and Shaunna Rai faced off as Kelly Clarkson and Pink, respectively, in Boston, within days of the Boston Marathon bombing...

When you're out of drag, what do you do? (ie. Work, fun,etc.)

 I tend to be in drag a lot.. I enjoy it. My boss the other day, said to me... I am a 9-5 boy, so I can be an 8-1 girl. I work in International Travel and will be out and about almost every night. Im extremely social.

Tell me anything else that you think might be important for me to know to get inside the head of a drag queen. 

When it comes to a queen don't ever assume you know the reasoning behind why they dress. I find it best just to let it ride.

Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy

You would think that the nights of a drag show are the most fun for me.  While I enjoy them, this is mostly false.  The drag nights that are the most fun, are the impromptu, "I just wanna be pretty" nights. Friday night, was one such night.

The reason I enjoy these nights, more than drag shows, is because there's a lot less stress involved.  Every show night, there's the "Which outfits/wigs/accessories do I need to bring? Does my makeup look amazing? Am I drop dead gorgeous?" The stress leads to snappiness, and a general time where I avoid saying/doing anything, and making myself scarce.  If there's one thing that I've learned, in the past year, it's that you on't argue with a queen.  It's not in your best interest.

On, "I just wanna be pretty nights," all of that stress is gone.  The hardest decisions are still, what outfit and hair am I going to wear? But, there's not the same sense of urgency, to painting, and getting dressed up to go out.

Anyway, partway through the day, we decided that we were going to go out. And, then we were contacted by Andy, our new friend, who I talked about last time. It was his partner's birthday on Friday. So, the night on the town, was going to turn into a birthday party! What fun.

I'd deposited my check earlier in the day, so I figured that it was going to be all set.  When the girls started painting, I'd go out, and pick up a cake, and get a little extra money for drinks, and, everything would be all set.  I picked up the cake, and a couple of other things, and headed to the checkout.  The lines were full of people with carts full of crap.  And, here I am, with 3 things.  And, I hate lines. I hate shopping, in general, unless I can get in and out in less than 10 minutes. Finally, the lady in front of me gets up to the conveyor belt, and then says, "You go ahead of me." Shocked? Yes. People don't do that anymore.  I thanked her profusely, and then went to pay for my purchases.  I ran my card, and asked for cash back. And, it declined.  And, I started to freak out a little.  I ran it again, without the cash back, and it went through.  Weird, but okay.  At least I could leave now.  I thanked the lady again, and wished her a good evening.

I finally, decide, before I go home, I'm going to check the ATM, and see what's going on with my deposit?  And, it's not there.  I can't find anywhere that I actually deposited money into my account, despite the fact that I have a receipt from the teller saying that I did.  And, so I start panicking.  What the hell happened to the money?

I got home, and at this point, I'm freaking out.  And, I kinda exploded.  I was ready to murder the teller, for stealing my money, and the person who tried cutting me off on the way home. And, I just can't think at this point. Dan tells me, call the bank.  Nothing's going to get taken care of if you're just yelling about it.  Half an hour later, I'm actually talking to someone from the bank, who says, "Yes, the money was deposited into your account, the system just hasn't updated yet. It'll be there at midnight."  And, I'm just all like, I don't even get it, because I've never had NONE of my check available use immediately.

Anyway, Shaunna Rai finally was ready, with her new hair, that she had literally only had for hours, before wearing it.  And, we were on our way to Blackstones to meet Andy and Tommy.  Before they arrived, I talked to JR, about hiding the cake, and getting utensils, and paper plates...because it never crossed my mind to pick them up while I was out...not that I would have been able to afford them anyway.  The boys showed up, and we chatted for a while, and then it was time to bring out the cake.

I went and got the cake, and brought it out with candles lit, and people started singing.  I remembered from my birthday, when I walked in, and everyone sang to me.  And, as I'm walking, I hear the people who know them, say, "Happy Birthday, dear Tommy," and this one guy, on the other side of me, singing, "Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy." And, at that point, I realized that I'd had enough to drink to actually relax...which is something difficult enough for me to do.  I just let loose after that.  I felt bad, because I bought a cake that I knew I wouldn't be able to eat, because of my gluten thing...but I knew that it would be bad if I had cake, period.

The night seemed to fly by.  The girls were doing their usual mingling.  And, I was chatting with people.  I was hit with "So, you really thought that we were ax murderers?" Because of my last blog.  Truth is, I think everyone's an ax murderer, until they prove to me otherwise.  But, that's neither here nor there.  I learned about the heirarchy of Bitch, and the way to use it...  "You aren't a bitch just because you can be.  You're a bitch, because they deserve it. And, you don't try to out-bitch those who have paved the way for you to dress in drag, because you will be taken down."  (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the picture.)

At some point, I had had a bit more to drink than I should have, and became a nuisance.  Our local "Tina Turner" Thomas, went into his dance, when Proud Mary came on.  And, I had had just enough to drink, to think that he just wanted to dance.  And, I just wanted to dance.  And, yeah... it wasn't pretty.  Or so, I hear.

At the end of the night, we went to Denny's with the birthday boy, and his other half.  I don't remember much from that point.  I remember eating, and drinking my coke.  At some point, the girls took pictures with someone at Denny's.  I think they said the winner of the 80's night at Bubba's.  And, some girl said later to Shaunna Rai, that she liked her hair, and asked if she could touch it, and Shaunna Rai ripped the wig off, and held it out to her.  Most of this, I heard about yesterday, because I didn't remember it.

I knew that I'd had too much of a good time, when I woke up yesterday though. The first words out of my mouth, were, "I have a head...and it hurts." But, it was totally worth it.  The boys had fun. The girls had fun, and most of all, I had fun.  

I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.  

Halloween: A Day for Drag, Hobgoblins, and Everything in Between

Ever since I was little, Halloween hasn't really been a holiday that held much interest for me.  Aside from the candy, there was no draw to it for me.  So, when this year's Halloween came around, I viewed it with a more open mind than usual.  Because, really, who's going to be the stick in the mud saying no to a drag queen on the one night of the year that people are going out of their way to become drag queens?

The thought had crossed my mind that I wanted nothing to do with Halloween, because it's never been any fun for me.  I've always had to work, and any time that I was invited to any kind of party, it was either while I was working, or I just wasn't in the mood to go.  And, the opportunity presented itself to go to two Halloween parties, along with two drag shows. And, I was going to be free to go to all of them.  What magic is this?

After realizing that the different parties meant that I should probably have different costumes, I kinda started to panic.  The idea of one costume was scary enough.  Three or four? Oh my.

I spent the first part of the Halloween season picking over costumes at Marden's and Party City, hoping that a costume would just jump out on me, and BOOM! I'd know what I wanted to be.  Unfortunately, life doesn't really work that way.  So, I'd pick up a piece here and there, and hope that I could figure out what I wanted to do with them.

The night of the first show, I ended up changing my mind completely.  Instead of going as the Gargoyle, that I had considered, I ended up deciding that I wanted to be a dead goth boy.  I bought my first bottle of nail polish....for myself, and was excited about it.  I decided that I wanted to do something totally different, and new, and bought a bottle of black paint, and a white t-shirt, which I promptly ran over (on purpose) after painting the tire of my car black.

Quickly, after changing out my hair for different hair, my costume came together.  I stenciled my tire track across my face, and then just had to wait for the ladies to finish getting ready.  After all, not only was it a costume party, with prizes (supposedly) but, it was a show night.  So, I was chauffeur to the girls.

And, for the first time, the venue was mostly empty for the show.  And, I was one of four people in costume.  Me, Pocahontas, Cleopatra, and the Gay-o-saurus.  The show, of course, as usual was great.  And, I met a couple of people Dan had gone to school with.  So, it was fun.

The next night, was the Halloween party in Ogunquit, at Mainestreet.  And, by the time we were in the mood to do anything, we didn't have the energy.  So, we stayed home.

Then, came the show at Blackstones.  Again, I was expecting a lot of people to be out in costume, even though Halloween itself wasn't until the following Thursday.  And, again, I decided to dress up a little.  I glued some demon horns to my head and decided to tattoo myself fully, using a shirt that Dan had.  One that actually got me a few people trying to figure out if they were real or not.

Again another amazing show, a fund raiser for the Dempsey Center in Lewiston.  All the usuals were there.  Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush, and Miss E'on.

The final event for Halloween wasn't happening until after Halloween was over.  Another fund raiser for Pride.  And, at that point, I was over Halloween.  I learned a lesson though.  In the future, I'm going to pick a costume far earlier than I did this year.  I'll stick with the same costume, or change small things in it.  But, I need to NOT wait until the last minute to do so.


Who knows? Halloween is a holiday where Drag is an acceptable costume....I mean, all the jocks are dying to get into a dress...or at least they were in high school.  Maybe next year, I can take the Kathy Griffin look a step further...

Play to your strengths

"She's not a very pretty queen..."
That was me, last episode of RuPaul's Drag Race: The Lost Season, of Tammie Brown.
"She isn't supposed to be.  She's not like a lot of the queens that have been on the more recent seasons.  She sings live, and does stand up.  And, she's herself."
That was Dan.

This of course, launched a conversation about characters.  And a realization that doing drag, you actually have to know yourself quite well.  Because, all of it, is about who you are.  You take the parts of you that are the best, mush them all up together, and put on the costume, and you're most of the way there.  This of course, is a condensed version of what really happens.  Because, let's face it.  You can't just throw on a pair of heels, a wig, and a dress, and have a ready made drag queen. It just doesn't work that way. And, even if it did, from what I've seen, a drag queen is a constantly shifting work of art.

There is no cookie cutter mold to form a drag queen.  What makes this person amazing may not make the next person as amazing.  Do drag queens have to be beautiful? No.  Do they have to be ugly? No.  Do they have to shave all their body hair off? No.  Some do, but others, proudly display the fact that they're a man in a dress, complete with a beard.  It's all part of a persona that they're creating.

This persona, in my mind, is the most important piece of the whole process.  Like anything, it can be a work in progress, for the entire length of the alter ego's life.  But, it's the piece that takes the most work.  The reason for doing drag in the first place may or may not be a part of the character building.  (Shaunna Rai, for example, was originally brought to life as a way to get into bars, because drag performers weren't asked to show ID's.)  Over time, she has made a name for herself, throughout the state of Maine, and into New Hampshire and Massachusetts.  She has developed a reputation as being, "a bitch," a title which she sometimes will display proudly, like in her last show, titled: "The Bitch is Back".  She doesn't mind taking the mic, but she won't sing live. From time to time, she may say bitchy things, but, generally, it's all said in fun.  Shaunna Rai is known for her drinking.  Hell, she even has a drink named after her at Blackstone's, and whatever name Mama's Cabaret is going by these days...I think it's Rumorz(?)

As I have previously established here, the outfits, the wigs, and the shoes are important as well.  And, a lot of thought goes into the outfits that get worn.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that I've gone into a place like Hot Topic, or Spencer's, and Dan has been at work, thinking about, "I could buy two pairs of these stretchy pants, and make them into a body suit." Or, walking through Marden's, looking at fringe, hearing him say, "I think I want a dress made out of that."  This is not always, but sometimes a daily occurrence.

Now that the outfit's picked out, it's time for the hair.  Which hair goes best with this outfit?  (This is the hardest for me to understand...because I think any hair looks good with anything.  But, that's why I'm not the one doing drag.) And, so, the part of the dressing process that every "husband" (drag or otherwise) dreads: "How does this look?" "Would I look better if I wore this other hair with this?" Sometimes my opinion is taken into consideration.  Sometimes, it's not.  Occasionally, the part where I have to give an opinion is skipped altogether.  (I.e.: the outfit was chosen around the hair, instead of the other way around.)


And, finally, which shoes look better?  The question I hate the most.  My stock answer, is "Those look fine."  But, then again, there's question among my gay friends if I'm really gay, because (although I have about 10 pair of shoes), I'm not very good at matching boy shoes with what I'm wearing. Hell, until last year, I didn't know that it was wrong to wear white socks with dress shoes...although, I found that out in a hurry.

Anyway.

My point here, is that while it may look to an outsider like drag is just throwing on a dress, makeup, a wig and those killer heels,it's not as easy as that.  Dan/Shaunna Rai have been asked on occasion to contribute drag wisdom to a "Drag Boot Camp" program that someone Dan knows has been trying to put in place.  While the idea is great, it relies too heavily on the idea that you can pick a queen out of a box, and every queen is going to be the same.

A question that Dan told me about what, "What 5 items should every queen have in their purse?"  Well, it depends on the queen.  I know a queen, who would carry around a rubber chicken, probably, because she uses it on stage in her act.  Shaunna Rai, on the other hand, wouldn't be caught dead with a rubber chicken...she would more than likely have a bottle of Jaegermeister, a bottle of Vodka, and some Red Bull, or have it all pre-mixed in a flask.  (Actually, more likely, she would have a pair of flip flops, a tank top and a pair of shorts, for after the show.)  Sure, hairspray, and makeup would show up in MOST purses, but not every drag queen is going to carry the same things.

Another question that he told me about was something along the lines of "where did your character/alter ego come from?"  Paraphrasing the question, I can get the point across better. How do you know who your character should be?

Let me tell you, the answer that I got when he told me about the question...wooooah....You don't create a character from a box.  You don't just get blessed by the drag fairy, and all of a sudden, you're a queen.  You have to have some idea, starting out, what you want to be.  Choose a genre: Horror, Comedy, Beauty, Musician, whatever.  Choose a character type: if you're going for comedy: Are you stand up? Are you sarcastic humor? Are you going to go for singing dirty parodies of pop songs?

Ok, so you're going for Stand up Comedy queen:  Who are you?  Is your character crazy?  Is your character a single drunk woman, who will sleep with anything with a pulse?  Are you the old lady full of one liners, like Sophia from the Golden Girls?

These are the things you need to know, in order for your character to develop.  Without a backstory for your character, you'll never have the right information for your stand up, for one.  And, by the same token, if you don't know the character, how are you going to find the right outfits?  If you're going for Mama Sophia, a lady in her 80's, more than likely, you're not going to be wearing prom gowns, or bikinis.  You're going to want to camp up the old lady purple hair, and wear the cardigans, and pants pulled up to right under your boobs.  By the same token, if you're going for the drunk single woman, you're going to want to play up the part of being drunk, and single, so you're going to dress a lot sluttier.

Anyway, my point being, drag is a learning process, throughout the lifetime of your character.  You have to have a bit of creativity, to be able to pick out what you're actually good at, and play to your strengths.  Don't try to be RuPaul, or any other queen that you've seen on tv (or in person).  Be yourself.  Know yourself well enough to know what you'll excel with.  And, bring it!  Just remember that you're the only one who will be able to bring out your inner drag queen.

When You're Good to Mama...

The April 13th show at Altera, in Lewiston, finished out what I was referring to as "Hell" week. Dan and Ryan were in drag, just about every other day, and Dan's car had just died, so I became chauffeur.

Wednesday night was Danielle's Birthday show at Blackstones, which was a blast, as always. Miss E'on came from Lewiston, to see the show, and to go to the Phoenix awards with us. E'on, Shaunna Rai, and Vanila all got into face at Miss LaJoy's house.

This was interesting to me, as I had not seen Miss LaJoy before. So, was very curious about how she was going to look in drag. I came to the realization, during the putting on of face, that for whatever reason, the smell of makeup, is kind of comforting to me.

The show at Blackstones, as I said before, was a blast. New girls, new numbers, and Taffy with Red Bull curlers in her hair! The pictures I got were great.

Friday night, was the First Phierce Friday at Mainestreet Ogunquit, with DJ Aga. There were giveaways of light stick things, and Carly Rae Jepsen CD's. Shaunna Rai and Vanila performed, and I started to see just how athletic these girls are. I'm impressed. Splits, Back handsprings, all kind of acrobatic tricks.

The weekend ended at Altera, with Shaunna Rai and her Dolls.  This, while it was a show, so it was important for the performers, was probably more important for me. This was the first time that my parents were going to see Shaunna Rai. Knowing my parents, I really didn't have anything to worry about, but, knowing myself, I was worried anyway. What if they got offended? What if they were uncomfortable? The what if's were flying, and I didn't know how to stop them.

Finally, I got the text from my mom saying, "We're here", so I went to go meet them, with their tickets. I had maybe, purposely, although, I still rationalize it as accidentally forgotten to give them a few pieces of information, like that Altera was a gay bar.  Because, in my mind, drag shows don't necessarily happen in straight bars.

Once we got in, and got settled, mom turns to me, and tells me that she's crossed two things off her bucket list.  So, I tried to guess. "Um, you're seeing a drag show, and you went to a gay bar?"
"Ooooh. Three things then!" "Ok, so if the first two are seeing a drag show, and going to a gay bar, what's the third?" "Going to a bar, period."  I'd forgotten. My mom doesn't drink. Ever. Never, ever. So, she wouldn't have a reason to go to a bar, much less a gay bar.

On the way in, Jacinda, in boy clothes, took the tickets, and let my mom keep them, so that she could get signatures from the "girls" if she chose to.  She chose to.

Introductions were a little awkward, for me, because I'm still having a hard time with figuring out which name to introduce with. The girls were in drag, so I figured it was appropriate to use the drag name, and then later explain to my parents who they are out of drag.

Most of the night, I spent, going back and forth between my parents making sure that they're having a good time. Dad seemed a little uncomfortable, after he found out it was a gay bar, but Mom seemed to be having the time of her life. I knew that Mom was going to take a million pictures, because that's just what she does. The one show I was in, I ended up being tagged on Facebook, in over 300 pictures...And, thankfully, I wasn't wrong here. I tend to be the photographer, at Shaunna Rai's shows, just because I enjoy it. Unfortunately, having taken pictures two other shows that week, I'd drained my batteries in my camera, and forgotten to grab new ones. And, my camera died.

After the show was over, Mom asked if she could go meet the girls, since, they were all out mingling before the show. I said I thought that could be arranged. And, she started gathering her autographs.  Shaunna Rai, Vanila, Taffy, and Desta Toot, all were so good to my mom, and gave her autographs, and took pictures with her. And, the "I love your mom" responses I got from the girls made me really happy. And, the "I love them too!" that they got on a facebook response later, made the whole night  perfect for me.

Upcoming Shows

Various Mondays: Styxx for Watch RuPaul's Drag Race with Taffy Pulls

April 10: Danielle's Birthday Show at Blackstones

April 12: Phierce Friday with DJ Aga at Mainestreet Ogunquit

April 13: Shaunna Rai and her Dolls at Altera

April 18: Battle of the Divas, P!nk vs Kelly Clarkson at Club Cafe, Boston

May 4th, 7pm at Bates College

June 10: Miss Blackstones Competition