Where I Come From...

My parents, Kathy and Steve, with Mimi Imfurst

"You really should write an article about your parents."  That was Wendy, at the Seacoast Rep show, last weekend.  "I loved that picture that you got of them with Mimi."  Wendy really likes my parents.  She has met them a couple of times.

But, what does one say about their parents?  Generally, people don't have anything good to say about their parents, until after they're gone.

I grew up in a small town, near Rockland, Maine.  Up until I was about 5, my parents moved around quite a bit.  Robbinston, Waldoboro, Thomaston, before they finally settled down in Warren, Maine.  They've lived in the same house for nearly 30 years.  They've been married for 36.  And, they have the kind of love that most people only dream of, or see on tv.  I've never seen them fight.  On rare occasions, I've seen tears, but they were never inflicted by each other.

My mom, Kathy, has had a number of different jobs, throughout her life, before settling into a job as a manager of a group home.  My dad, Steve, has worked for the Maine State Fire Marshall's Office, for as long as I can remember.  He started off working as a Fire Investigator, and has since moved on to being an inspector...he inspects amusement park/fair rides, and things like that now.

Mom and Dad with Latrice Royale at Styxx.

Like most kids, I spent a good amount of time disliking my parents.  We were far from rich, growing up... Back to school clothes shopping meant going to second hand clothing shops.  When we wanted video game systems, we actually had to work for them...We spent a whole winter, shoveling driveways around the neighborhood, in order to get our Super Nintendo.  And, I hated that they wouldn't just buy it for us, because I had friends, whose parents would, and did, do that kind of thing.

What I recognize now, is that they were, at the time, trying to prepare me for life.  Contrary to what drag queens will have you believe, life is not all about Rainbows and Butterflies, and pretty faces.  Life is about working for what you want, and appreciating it more, because you worked for it.

My parents allowed me to go to Art School, in Philadelphia, 500 miles away from home.  It was what I wanted, and they supported it.  They also supported me through the mental breakdown, that brought me back home, to Maine, a year and a half later.  They didn't throw me out of the house when I finally came out to them.  They instead, continued to show me the unconditional love that they have always given. They have always had my back.

Mom and Wendy with Me and Shaunna Rai at Paradym
for Alyssa Edwards.

When I decided to make the move to Portland, for the first time, my mom wasn't really okay with it.  It was really going to be my first time on my own.  I was going where I knew hardly anyone.  And, I was going to be further away than she thought I should be...especially given that I was still grieving a dead relationship.

Little did any of us know, how much that move would change things for all of us.  Three years later, I can't even think of how many times that my parents have come to drag shows.

The first drag show my parents ever attended, was at the (now defunct) second location of Altera, in Lewiston.  My mom was excited, because she was going to meet Shaunna Rai, and Taffy Pulls...I actually think that she was most excited to meet Taffy.  She made sure to tell me that she was knocking things off her Bucket List that night.  It was her first time at a Bar.  It was her first ever drag show. (I think she had forgotten my one night stint as Spice Andrews, in Damariscotta...) And, it was her first time at a gay bar.

Mom with Taffy Pulls at Altera.

I was more uncomfortable than either of them, I think...because, I felt the need to protect the straight couple, who seemed totally out of place.  They didn't really need protection though.  I'm sure that they both had cameras blazing, as did I.  I get the photography thing from them.  They never go anywhere, without a camera.  Literally.  There is a camera in the back seat of the car at all times.  After the show, I introduced my mom to Taffy, and she got her picture with her...a high point of the night.  And, I found out how my dad felt about the show in the bar...he was great with the show, but thought that the bar patrons were rude, because they were there for a show, so should not be talking.

They've come quite a ways.  During the first Dragapalooza that they came to, Shaunna had been in their lives long enough for my mom to be "inspired" by her.  She came to Dragapalooza decked out in a Duck Dynasty t-shirt, and glittery heels.  Again, cameras blazing, during the show...and then, they came to the after show, at (the now defunct) Mama's Cabaret, also in Lewiston.  At this point, I knew that my parents would be "safe" at a show, and so I was less protective, and let my inhibitions down a little.  And, had a few drinks.  Enough so, that at one point, I noticed Shaunna's contact was out, and she had two different colored eyes, and said that she reminded me of a husky.  She then, went on the mic, not once, I don't even think twice...I think it was three or four times, and told everyone in the bar how she was going to "fuck me doggy-style", because I said she looked like a dog.

Dad with Alyssa Edwards.

Obviously, they enjoyed themselves, because they continue to come to every show that they can.  They were there for JuJubee, Latrice and Mimi, at Styxx.  They took the trip to Manchester, NH, to see Alyssa Edwards (where they met Wendy for the first time.)  And, I still get asked, so when is the next show?

During Mimi's Holiday Hangover Show, at Styxx, my mom got to see what really goes into making Shaunna Rai into Shaunna.  She knew how long the makeup took, and that there was some work to make the body.  But, she had never actually seen the process.  That night, she did.  And, she left, saying that she had a new appreciation for it.  Although she had known that there was a lot of work to it, she had no idea about the hips, and the butt, and the corsets and the bras...the list goes on and on.  She seemed to be in awe of the process.

Mom with one of her favorites, Alyssa Edwards.

While I'm on the receiving end of being given unconditional support, I am often reminded of the fact that not everyone is so lucky.  In three years, I have yet to meet Dan's parents.  And, they definitely haven't been nearly as supportive of the drag.  My parents, in the short time that they've known Shaunna Rai, have been to see her more often than Dan's own parents.  I'm extremely grateful for this, and a little bit saddened by it as well.

I started the blog, as a way to let my parents see what I was up to, much like any other blogs that I have had since I first got the internet.  It was a way of sharing people, places and events that I enjoyed.  And, in the process, I hadn't really thought about how much it has actually affected them.  Mom wore heels! She's looking for RuPaul's Drag Race to buy on DVD.  And, she was trying to talk Dad into going on the Drag at Sea Cruise next time it happens.

I realize now that I haven't been the only one dragged to the inside.  My parents have as well, although, to a slightly lesser degree.  And, I think I love them more for that.  Mom, Dad, thank you for being you.  Thank you for being so supportive of us both.

When You're Good to Mama...

The April 13th show at Altera, in Lewiston, finished out what I was referring to as "Hell" week. Dan and Ryan were in drag, just about every other day, and Dan's car had just died, so I became chauffeur.

Wednesday night was Danielle's Birthday show at Blackstones, which was a blast, as always. Miss E'on came from Lewiston, to see the show, and to go to the Phoenix awards with us. E'on, Shaunna Rai, and Vanila all got into face at Miss LaJoy's house.

This was interesting to me, as I had not seen Miss LaJoy before. So, was very curious about how she was going to look in drag. I came to the realization, during the putting on of face, that for whatever reason, the smell of makeup, is kind of comforting to me.

The show at Blackstones, as I said before, was a blast. New girls, new numbers, and Taffy with Red Bull curlers in her hair! The pictures I got were great.

Friday night, was the First Phierce Friday at Mainestreet Ogunquit, with DJ Aga. There were giveaways of light stick things, and Carly Rae Jepsen CD's. Shaunna Rai and Vanila performed, and I started to see just how athletic these girls are. I'm impressed. Splits, Back handsprings, all kind of acrobatic tricks.

The weekend ended at Altera, with Shaunna Rai and her Dolls.  This, while it was a show, so it was important for the performers, was probably more important for me. This was the first time that my parents were going to see Shaunna Rai. Knowing my parents, I really didn't have anything to worry about, but, knowing myself, I was worried anyway. What if they got offended? What if they were uncomfortable? The what if's were flying, and I didn't know how to stop them.

Finally, I got the text from my mom saying, "We're here", so I went to go meet them, with their tickets. I had maybe, purposely, although, I still rationalize it as accidentally forgotten to give them a few pieces of information, like that Altera was a gay bar.  Because, in my mind, drag shows don't necessarily happen in straight bars.

Once we got in, and got settled, mom turns to me, and tells me that she's crossed two things off her bucket list.  So, I tried to guess. "Um, you're seeing a drag show, and you went to a gay bar?"
"Ooooh. Three things then!" "Ok, so if the first two are seeing a drag show, and going to a gay bar, what's the third?" "Going to a bar, period."  I'd forgotten. My mom doesn't drink. Ever. Never, ever. So, she wouldn't have a reason to go to a bar, much less a gay bar.

On the way in, Jacinda, in boy clothes, took the tickets, and let my mom keep them, so that she could get signatures from the "girls" if she chose to.  She chose to.

Introductions were a little awkward, for me, because I'm still having a hard time with figuring out which name to introduce with. The girls were in drag, so I figured it was appropriate to use the drag name, and then later explain to my parents who they are out of drag.

Most of the night, I spent, going back and forth between my parents making sure that they're having a good time. Dad seemed a little uncomfortable, after he found out it was a gay bar, but Mom seemed to be having the time of her life. I knew that Mom was going to take a million pictures, because that's just what she does. The one show I was in, I ended up being tagged on Facebook, in over 300 pictures...And, thankfully, I wasn't wrong here. I tend to be the photographer, at Shaunna Rai's shows, just because I enjoy it. Unfortunately, having taken pictures two other shows that week, I'd drained my batteries in my camera, and forgotten to grab new ones. And, my camera died.

After the show was over, Mom asked if she could go meet the girls, since, they were all out mingling before the show. I said I thought that could be arranged. And, she started gathering her autographs.  Shaunna Rai, Vanila, Taffy, and Desta Toot, all were so good to my mom, and gave her autographs, and took pictures with her. And, the "I love your mom" responses I got from the girls made me really happy. And, the "I love them too!" that they got on a facebook response later, made the whole night  perfect for me.

When Worlds Collide

When I started thinking about this blog, I really hadn't given much thought to how much everything is tied up in everything else. Drag queens can become transgender women. And a simple meet the parents becomes a, "We want to see you in a show."

The more I think about topics, the more I realize that I can't just decide to talk about drag, without talking about everything else too.

Anyway, this really is a post about Dan meeting my parents for the first time.

It was a last minute decision to make it happen. And, I think I was more nervous about it than Dan was. So, after making plans to take Dan to Moody's Diner, I texted my mom to set everything up.  Then, it was time.

How, you ask does this have anything to do with drag? Well... Given that I had told my parents that Dan does drag, and that mom has questions, it was inevitable that at some point, the questions would be addressed.

And, they were. Mom asked how Shaunna Rai walks in heels, because my mom, has a hard time with it. Dan, patient as ever, said that he doesn't think about it. And, that is why people have trouble. They overthink walking in heels. He then went on to promote upcoming shows.

I knew because of RuPaul's Drag Race, that my mom was interested in seeing Shaunna Rai perform. What I didn't expect, was hearing my dad say that he was interested too. That freaked me out a little. Of all the things you ever imagine hearing, the last one is, "Yeah, I'd kinda like to see my son's boyfriend dressed as a woman."