Where I Come From...

My parents, Kathy and Steve, with Mimi Imfurst

"You really should write an article about your parents."  That was Wendy, at the Seacoast Rep show, last weekend.  "I loved that picture that you got of them with Mimi."  Wendy really likes my parents.  She has met them a couple of times.

But, what does one say about their parents?  Generally, people don't have anything good to say about their parents, until after they're gone.

I grew up in a small town, near Rockland, Maine.  Up until I was about 5, my parents moved around quite a bit.  Robbinston, Waldoboro, Thomaston, before they finally settled down in Warren, Maine.  They've lived in the same house for nearly 30 years.  They've been married for 36.  And, they have the kind of love that most people only dream of, or see on tv.  I've never seen them fight.  On rare occasions, I've seen tears, but they were never inflicted by each other.

My mom, Kathy, has had a number of different jobs, throughout her life, before settling into a job as a manager of a group home.  My dad, Steve, has worked for the Maine State Fire Marshall's Office, for as long as I can remember.  He started off working as a Fire Investigator, and has since moved on to being an inspector...he inspects amusement park/fair rides, and things like that now.

Mom and Dad with Latrice Royale at Styxx.

Like most kids, I spent a good amount of time disliking my parents.  We were far from rich, growing up... Back to school clothes shopping meant going to second hand clothing shops.  When we wanted video game systems, we actually had to work for them...We spent a whole winter, shoveling driveways around the neighborhood, in order to get our Super Nintendo.  And, I hated that they wouldn't just buy it for us, because I had friends, whose parents would, and did, do that kind of thing.

What I recognize now, is that they were, at the time, trying to prepare me for life.  Contrary to what drag queens will have you believe, life is not all about Rainbows and Butterflies, and pretty faces.  Life is about working for what you want, and appreciating it more, because you worked for it.

My parents allowed me to go to Art School, in Philadelphia, 500 miles away from home.  It was what I wanted, and they supported it.  They also supported me through the mental breakdown, that brought me back home, to Maine, a year and a half later.  They didn't throw me out of the house when I finally came out to them.  They instead, continued to show me the unconditional love that they have always given. They have always had my back.

Mom and Wendy with Me and Shaunna Rai at Paradym
for Alyssa Edwards.

When I decided to make the move to Portland, for the first time, my mom wasn't really okay with it.  It was really going to be my first time on my own.  I was going where I knew hardly anyone.  And, I was going to be further away than she thought I should be...especially given that I was still grieving a dead relationship.

Little did any of us know, how much that move would change things for all of us.  Three years later, I can't even think of how many times that my parents have come to drag shows.

The first drag show my parents ever attended, was at the (now defunct) second location of Altera, in Lewiston.  My mom was excited, because she was going to meet Shaunna Rai, and Taffy Pulls...I actually think that she was most excited to meet Taffy.  She made sure to tell me that she was knocking things off her Bucket List that night.  It was her first time at a Bar.  It was her first ever drag show. (I think she had forgotten my one night stint as Spice Andrews, in Damariscotta...) And, it was her first time at a gay bar.

Mom with Taffy Pulls at Altera.

I was more uncomfortable than either of them, I think...because, I felt the need to protect the straight couple, who seemed totally out of place.  They didn't really need protection though.  I'm sure that they both had cameras blazing, as did I.  I get the photography thing from them.  They never go anywhere, without a camera.  Literally.  There is a camera in the back seat of the car at all times.  After the show, I introduced my mom to Taffy, and she got her picture with her...a high point of the night.  And, I found out how my dad felt about the show in the bar...he was great with the show, but thought that the bar patrons were rude, because they were there for a show, so should not be talking.

They've come quite a ways.  During the first Dragapalooza that they came to, Shaunna had been in their lives long enough for my mom to be "inspired" by her.  She came to Dragapalooza decked out in a Duck Dynasty t-shirt, and glittery heels.  Again, cameras blazing, during the show...and then, they came to the after show, at (the now defunct) Mama's Cabaret, also in Lewiston.  At this point, I knew that my parents would be "safe" at a show, and so I was less protective, and let my inhibitions down a little.  And, had a few drinks.  Enough so, that at one point, I noticed Shaunna's contact was out, and she had two different colored eyes, and said that she reminded me of a husky.  She then, went on the mic, not once, I don't even think twice...I think it was three or four times, and told everyone in the bar how she was going to "fuck me doggy-style", because I said she looked like a dog.

Dad with Alyssa Edwards.

Obviously, they enjoyed themselves, because they continue to come to every show that they can.  They were there for JuJubee, Latrice and Mimi, at Styxx.  They took the trip to Manchester, NH, to see Alyssa Edwards (where they met Wendy for the first time.)  And, I still get asked, so when is the next show?

During Mimi's Holiday Hangover Show, at Styxx, my mom got to see what really goes into making Shaunna Rai into Shaunna.  She knew how long the makeup took, and that there was some work to make the body.  But, she had never actually seen the process.  That night, she did.  And, she left, saying that she had a new appreciation for it.  Although she had known that there was a lot of work to it, she had no idea about the hips, and the butt, and the corsets and the bras...the list goes on and on.  She seemed to be in awe of the process.

Mom with one of her favorites, Alyssa Edwards.

While I'm on the receiving end of being given unconditional support, I am often reminded of the fact that not everyone is so lucky.  In three years, I have yet to meet Dan's parents.  And, they definitely haven't been nearly as supportive of the drag.  My parents, in the short time that they've known Shaunna Rai, have been to see her more often than Dan's own parents.  I'm extremely grateful for this, and a little bit saddened by it as well.

I started the blog, as a way to let my parents see what I was up to, much like any other blogs that I have had since I first got the internet.  It was a way of sharing people, places and events that I enjoyed.  And, in the process, I hadn't really thought about how much it has actually affected them.  Mom wore heels! She's looking for RuPaul's Drag Race to buy on DVD.  And, she was trying to talk Dad into going on the Drag at Sea Cruise next time it happens.

I realize now that I haven't been the only one dragged to the inside.  My parents have as well, although, to a slightly lesser degree.  And, I think I love them more for that.  Mom, Dad, thank you for being you.  Thank you for being so supportive of us both.