Where I Come From...

My parents, Kathy and Steve, with Mimi Imfurst

"You really should write an article about your parents."  That was Wendy, at the Seacoast Rep show, last weekend.  "I loved that picture that you got of them with Mimi."  Wendy really likes my parents.  She has met them a couple of times.

But, what does one say about their parents?  Generally, people don't have anything good to say about their parents, until after they're gone.

I grew up in a small town, near Rockland, Maine.  Up until I was about 5, my parents moved around quite a bit.  Robbinston, Waldoboro, Thomaston, before they finally settled down in Warren, Maine.  They've lived in the same house for nearly 30 years.  They've been married for 36.  And, they have the kind of love that most people only dream of, or see on tv.  I've never seen them fight.  On rare occasions, I've seen tears, but they were never inflicted by each other.

My mom, Kathy, has had a number of different jobs, throughout her life, before settling into a job as a manager of a group home.  My dad, Steve, has worked for the Maine State Fire Marshall's Office, for as long as I can remember.  He started off working as a Fire Investigator, and has since moved on to being an inspector...he inspects amusement park/fair rides, and things like that now.

Mom and Dad with Latrice Royale at Styxx.

Like most kids, I spent a good amount of time disliking my parents.  We were far from rich, growing up... Back to school clothes shopping meant going to second hand clothing shops.  When we wanted video game systems, we actually had to work for them...We spent a whole winter, shoveling driveways around the neighborhood, in order to get our Super Nintendo.  And, I hated that they wouldn't just buy it for us, because I had friends, whose parents would, and did, do that kind of thing.

What I recognize now, is that they were, at the time, trying to prepare me for life.  Contrary to what drag queens will have you believe, life is not all about Rainbows and Butterflies, and pretty faces.  Life is about working for what you want, and appreciating it more, because you worked for it.

My parents allowed me to go to Art School, in Philadelphia, 500 miles away from home.  It was what I wanted, and they supported it.  They also supported me through the mental breakdown, that brought me back home, to Maine, a year and a half later.  They didn't throw me out of the house when I finally came out to them.  They instead, continued to show me the unconditional love that they have always given. They have always had my back.

Mom and Wendy with Me and Shaunna Rai at Paradym
for Alyssa Edwards.

When I decided to make the move to Portland, for the first time, my mom wasn't really okay with it.  It was really going to be my first time on my own.  I was going where I knew hardly anyone.  And, I was going to be further away than she thought I should be...especially given that I was still grieving a dead relationship.

Little did any of us know, how much that move would change things for all of us.  Three years later, I can't even think of how many times that my parents have come to drag shows.

The first drag show my parents ever attended, was at the (now defunct) second location of Altera, in Lewiston.  My mom was excited, because she was going to meet Shaunna Rai, and Taffy Pulls...I actually think that she was most excited to meet Taffy.  She made sure to tell me that she was knocking things off her Bucket List that night.  It was her first time at a Bar.  It was her first ever drag show. (I think she had forgotten my one night stint as Spice Andrews, in Damariscotta...) And, it was her first time at a gay bar.

Mom with Taffy Pulls at Altera.

I was more uncomfortable than either of them, I think...because, I felt the need to protect the straight couple, who seemed totally out of place.  They didn't really need protection though.  I'm sure that they both had cameras blazing, as did I.  I get the photography thing from them.  They never go anywhere, without a camera.  Literally.  There is a camera in the back seat of the car at all times.  After the show, I introduced my mom to Taffy, and she got her picture with her...a high point of the night.  And, I found out how my dad felt about the show in the bar...he was great with the show, but thought that the bar patrons were rude, because they were there for a show, so should not be talking.

They've come quite a ways.  During the first Dragapalooza that they came to, Shaunna had been in their lives long enough for my mom to be "inspired" by her.  She came to Dragapalooza decked out in a Duck Dynasty t-shirt, and glittery heels.  Again, cameras blazing, during the show...and then, they came to the after show, at (the now defunct) Mama's Cabaret, also in Lewiston.  At this point, I knew that my parents would be "safe" at a show, and so I was less protective, and let my inhibitions down a little.  And, had a few drinks.  Enough so, that at one point, I noticed Shaunna's contact was out, and she had two different colored eyes, and said that she reminded me of a husky.  She then, went on the mic, not once, I don't even think twice...I think it was three or four times, and told everyone in the bar how she was going to "fuck me doggy-style", because I said she looked like a dog.

Dad with Alyssa Edwards.

Obviously, they enjoyed themselves, because they continue to come to every show that they can.  They were there for JuJubee, Latrice and Mimi, at Styxx.  They took the trip to Manchester, NH, to see Alyssa Edwards (where they met Wendy for the first time.)  And, I still get asked, so when is the next show?

During Mimi's Holiday Hangover Show, at Styxx, my mom got to see what really goes into making Shaunna Rai into Shaunna.  She knew how long the makeup took, and that there was some work to make the body.  But, she had never actually seen the process.  That night, she did.  And, she left, saying that she had a new appreciation for it.  Although she had known that there was a lot of work to it, she had no idea about the hips, and the butt, and the corsets and the bras...the list goes on and on.  She seemed to be in awe of the process.

Mom with one of her favorites, Alyssa Edwards.

While I'm on the receiving end of being given unconditional support, I am often reminded of the fact that not everyone is so lucky.  In three years, I have yet to meet Dan's parents.  And, they definitely haven't been nearly as supportive of the drag.  My parents, in the short time that they've known Shaunna Rai, have been to see her more often than Dan's own parents.  I'm extremely grateful for this, and a little bit saddened by it as well.

I started the blog, as a way to let my parents see what I was up to, much like any other blogs that I have had since I first got the internet.  It was a way of sharing people, places and events that I enjoyed.  And, in the process, I hadn't really thought about how much it has actually affected them.  Mom wore heels! She's looking for RuPaul's Drag Race to buy on DVD.  And, she was trying to talk Dad into going on the Drag at Sea Cruise next time it happens.

I realize now that I haven't been the only one dragged to the inside.  My parents have as well, although, to a slightly lesser degree.  And, I think I love them more for that.  Mom, Dad, thank you for being you.  Thank you for being so supportive of us both.

I Want To Swing From The Chandelier...

Saturday, I started the morning with an open mind. Today was the day that I was going to hear back about the car I looked at, and, it was also Alyssa Edwards at Paradym.

I got a call from the car place, and it was bad news. The check from the insurance company hadn't been received yet, and so, there was nothing they could do this weekend. It would be at least Tuesday before I would hear back...and Tuesday was the last day that I would be able to drive my rental car.

So, I made other plans. I went to a different dealership, and within two hours, was able to walk away with a new car. And, I'd talked my parents into going to Manchester with us to see Alyssa Edwards.

I dropped off the car at Knaughty, so that Dan would have something to drive home. I went out to eat with Mom and Dad, and then a quick shopping trip,  before going back to the house. By the time we got back, Shaunna Rai was putting on face.

While we waited, Mom asked about upcoming shows, and I gave her a preview of what Latrice Royale will be like.

Finally, Shaunna asked me to help with the corset, and then it was time to go. The trip was uneventful, with the exception of a couple of nails popping off, and not having any nail glue. I stopped and got nail glue, and then it was a hop, skip and a jump to Paradym.

Having won my VIP ticket, I expected that I'd be right on the list. And, for some reason, I wasn't, but the bouncer/check in guy let me in, because "it sounds reasonable."

We get there, and our friend Wendy, from the Portsmouth shows, was already there. We had a seat, and I introduced her to my parents.  We got drinks and munched on fries that Wendy had ordered.

Before the show, we talked about blogs and writing books, and coming out stories. Then, it was time for the show.

Alyssa came out with Miss Toni Weaver, who is a regular performer at Paradym, and told us that she had been doing drag do 50 years. (I'm always in awe of the older queens, because I can only imagine the stories they could tell.)

I forget, when I'm in the karaoke room at Paradym, that the best place to be is toward the middle of the room. Only because if you're at the front, the performers are usually really far away, and if you're in the back of the room, you get a lot of back/butt shots and the lights glare in the pictures.

Monique Toosoon, Lady Sabrina, Britney Lynne, Laila McQueen, Candice Caron, Ivy League-O'deria and Miss Toni Weaver, all did their numbers. Laila looked a bit like Ben Dela Creme, and I loved it. Ivy,  came out looking like an ice queen. These girls all nailed it. And then, out comes Alyssa again. She was a lot funnier than I expected.  (I think a lot of my surprise came from her feud with Coco Montrese on her season.)

This time, she performed Sia's Chandelier.  I was very impressed with her. I hadn't seen the music video, at that point, but Dan showed me the next day that Alyssa actually was doing the dance from the video.

A break, then the spotlight show in the other room. Monique, Lady Sabrina, and  then Alyssa. I spend half the time taking pictures and half the time trying to get mom into a better position, so that she can get some pictures...because, Mom is shorter than I am, so if I'm having trouble, then she definitely is.

Then, it's time for the Meet and Greet. This is the part of these shows that I absolutely hate. Not because I think I'm better than a line, but because I'm against rude people in lines. Much like when I met Raven, I didn't know what to say to Alyssa. Alyssa was not originally a Drag Race girl that I liked very much. I was glad that for the most part, the night did not revolve around the Coco Montrese drama from the show. 

Finally, it was time to go. I really enjoyed the night. I was really happy that I got to share the night with my mom, who was more excited that it was Alyssa than I was.

Luck is a Many Splendored Thing

A week ago today, we brought Benni home, to Lewiston, and my world was shaken up. On the way back home, a lady on her way to work, made a left turn and smashed into us. Everyone was ok, with the exception of my having had a meltdown on the side of the road.

Cue a week of stress, dealing with insurance companies, and being told, "Talk to this person," "No, you need to talk to this person." Finally, I got someone to inspect the car. And, it was considered totalled.

So, in the course of a week, I went from having to dragmobile, to more or less, nothing. I have a rental, and I'm working on a new vehicle. But, the point is, luck has not been on my side (and usually isn't).

So, how I managed to win a ticket to see Alyssa Edwards, at Paradym this weekend, is totally beyond me. Maybe,  it was just time for my luck to change? Maybe the Gods (Goddesses?) of drag had a soft spot for me? Anyway, it happened, and I was shocked.  (Partly because I entered, then promptly forgot that I had, because the likelihood of my winning was nil.

Thank you to Paradym, Monique Toosoon, and especially to the person who was unable to make it, who gave back a pair of VIP tickets to be given away. I really needed something like this, this week. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!