Malice in Wonderland

The Screaming Queens show is an important show in my history with Shaunna Rai. I met Shaunna Rai and company for the first time at a Screaming Queens show. And, although she was performing that night, it was technically my first date with Dan, as well. The show itself is a benefit, to raise money for the Down East AIDS Network, and it usually makes a good amount of money.

So when Shaunna said she would be participating again this year, it was kind of exciting. It would be almost like reliving our first date. Sort of. Although, a lot has changed since then.

A couple days before (or maybe the night before, because I don't remember exactly) we made a trip to go see Benni (Miss E,on) for last minute costume fittings. And, as usual I was amazed at what the end result was for each outfit. Even though there was no hair, so I kinda had to imagine what Shaunna would look like in them when Dan was trying them on.

The day of the show, we ran around a little bit. Shaunna was going to do what she did for the Drag Me to Hell show, and buy some shot glasses and have the bar make shots for everyone. (Unfortunately, with the glasses that we found, there weren't enough.)

Finally, it was time to go pick up E,on, and head to Waterville. I made sure to load the address into the GPS, for the drive. And, we were on our way. We made really good time getting into Waterville. So good, in fact, that we had time to go shopping.  We stopped at Mardens, and looked around. We also stopped at Kmart, and again found the shot glassss, but, still too few, since we hadn't bought the ones we had seen earlier.

Unfortunately, for me, the GPS believes that Champions (the venue) is a little dive place on Elm Street. And, in spite of putting in the exact address, I was accused of punching in the wrong address, and screwing up the afternoon. (Needless to say, after that, I was overly thrilled to have come. Note the sarcasm dripping from that statement.) E,on, fortunately got us there. It turned out that I had taken the wrong exit, and that messed everything up. But, in my defense, I was doing what the GPS told me to do.

Once we were finally there, it went pretty smoothly. I unloaded the car, and got the girls situated. We got there early, because Shaunna Rai doesn't do late. Just behind us was Miss JoAnn, in her new RV. Just as she was getting settled in to start painting, with the girls she remembered that she had forgotten her headdress. The Queen of Spades won't look much like she's supposed to if she doesn't have a spade headdress, right?

So, I got volunteered to go with her husband, to Arundel  (on the other side of the state) to go grab it, before the show started. Now, I have known Russ for a few years, because of Miss JoAnn, but, I don't recall ever having heard him speak, much less having had a conversation with him. So, it was going to make for a very long trip.

It was, much as I expected it to be...quiet. I was lost in my head. So, when Russ spoke up and showed me where he and Miss JoAnn had met, I was surprised. Also, by how they met, and the brief history of what it was like to be gay before I was anywhere near ready to come out. 

We got to Arundel, and I had time to shoot out an Instagram update, while he grabbed the headpiece, before we turned around, and I drove like a maniac to get back before the show started. On the ride back, I retreated into my head again, thinking, for most of thr return trip how, I'm sitting with my future in 30 years or so, right next to me. Russ was super sweet. He refilled what we had used for gas in Biddeford, and then had me top it off when we got back to Waterville.

We made it back with plenty of time before the show. I ran over to McDonald's to grab a burger, so I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. (Since I had been warned that if I passed out, I was going to be left behind.) 

I went inside, and got a hug from Paul, one of the creators of the Screaming Queens show, and he told me that he was putting a drink on his tab for me, for making the trip to Arundel. (Being a lightweight drinker, I only paid for one drink for myself for the night.) 

When the doors opened, I led my parents to the VIP tables, that were literally on the edge of the stage. (Halfway through the show, I felt bad, because where they chose to sit, they got to see a lot of the backsides of the queens.) Meanwhile, I was off running around, trying to get great shots and fending off the professional photographers who had been asked to take pictures of the show.

Valerie Honeywell opened up the show, as hostess (and shared it off and on through the night with LaWanda). 

Shaunna Rai opened the show with a mix performance. It was Alice themed music, and very difficult to follow...which, is somewhat fitting, considering the source material. The dress and apron outfit was cute, and Shaunna's giant white bow just kinda made it work. And, Shaunna being the tear away queen, had a dance outfit on underneath. 

Miss JoAnn followed. If I remember correctly, she did a number from Cabaret...which didn't really go with the Alice theme. But, seeing the headpiece in action made it totally worth the drive to get it. The queen of Spades didn't really come across without it. 

The queen of hearts, herself was up next. LaWanda has so much energy on stage, that she exhausts me. Toward the end of her number, her wig fell off. (I'm not entirely sure that this was accidental, so much as it is a way to say, "just so you didn't forget, I'm a man in a dress.")

The Mad Hatter, Miss E,on, was up next. Her song was also a mix, that included "They're Coming to Take Me Away". Totally an E,on number, to be sure.

At this point, LaWanda took over the mic, to introduce Valerie. Valerie came out in a tear away, that I'm pretty sure belonged to Ariel Gibbs, a close friend of Shaunna's, who passed away over the summer. Valerie was the White Rabbit.

ClubKid MizzDiveena, the Cheshire Cat was up next. Her makeup was great. It was a little reminiscent of the skeleton makeup Shaunna had done a week or two earlier, but it worked for the character. 

Valerie came back out, and introduced a couple members of the Down East AIDS Network, to say a few words about what Screaming Queens is all about, and where the money goes, and all that.

LaWanda was back, I'm pretty sure that this number was Juice Newton's Queen of Hearts song. You would think that I would remember, because I was lip syncing to it along with her.

Shaunna was back for another mix, and another tear away, leaving her in a fringe dance outfit.

Miss JoAnn followed, with Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I was actually really happy with pictures I got of this number. Over the years, I haven't been able to get a lot of really good pictures of her, because lighting in most of the places I've seen her at, has been, well, sub par. 

Valerie was up, with her Bunny ears this time. Followed by E,on and Diveena. Diveena brought out the headpiece that she had worn for Dragapalooza last spring. 

LaWanda came out for her final number, which was made more interesting, by a shirtless Paul, with a leather harness and Bunny ear mask, following her around like a puppy dog. 

Shaunna's final number was Pink's The King Is Dead (But the Queen is Alive). Alice got the upper hand, and took off the Red Queen's head...or so we are left to imagine.

Valerie closed out the show, with a little Celine Dion. I was getting tired, and glad the show was almost over, because throughout the show, I had been running back to check on my parents, and then back out to get the best pictures I could. 

At one point during my running, I was stopped and asked if I was Steve Dixon. I thought it was odd, but, I have developed a small following,  so, not that odd. It turned out that the guy who asked was a guy I had gotten a picture of at the Halloween party at the Westin,  and he wanted to thank me for it. 

They opened the floor up for dancing, once the show was over. I started the back and forth of bringing drag bags back to the car. I definitely got a work out, because I didn't find out until the very last trip that I could have saved some energy by going an alternate route, instead of through the main dance floor area.

Finally we were ready to go. We said goodbye to my parents,  and headed to McDonald's,  so that Dan and Benni could get something to eat before we made the trek back home.

It was a crazy night. And I believe,  the final number for funds raised for the night was right around $4000. So, definitely worth it.

You Don't Know What It's Like...

Me as Liz Taylor from AHS: Hotel

Halloween had never really been my holiday, since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I loved it. Dressing up, pretending I was someone else. It was the gay boy holiday. You spend so much time pretending you're someone different, that it's nice to be able to dress the part and get away with it.

I outgrew Halloween when I was about 14. I wasn't popular enough to get invited to Halloween parties. So, I would go out trick or treating with my brother and the girls across the road. And, that was when I found out that I had aged out of Halloween. Someone said, "what are you doing, you're too old for trick or treating." And, that was it.

Dan has asked me every year what I was going to do for Halloween, and every year, I put off making a decision until the last minute, when it's almost too late to do anything about a costume. This year, though, American Horror Story : Hotel happened. More specifically, Liz Taylor happened.

Madame Sheena, ClubKid MizzDiveena, Shaunna Rai, Miss E,on

I've avoided doing any kind of drag, mainly because I know what goes into it, how much work it is, and most importantly, I have worried that I would like it more than I should.  But, the Character of Liz Taylor wouldn't be drag exactly.  When the suggestion was made that I could do her, it wouldn't let go. I wouldn't have a lot of makeup, and could do it myself, for the most part. The wardrobe was simple. The worst part was going to be the shoes.

For the first time ever, I asked Benni (Miss E,on to make me something. I had to have Liz Taylor's flowy wrap thing, in order to make the character believable.

My Minions, Mom and Dad

I spent three weeks walking around in heels that used to belong to Raquel Blake, that were too big for Shaunna Rai. I found out the hard way that falling in heels is one of the worst things in the world. Especially when the heels make you almost 7 feet tall... The ground is a long way down.

Miss E,on

Finally, the night was here. Halloween. Shaunna Rai started her makeup. I shaved everything that would potentially be visible, including my head. Once that was over, it was a matter of throwing on what makeup I would need, and some lashes. I did the lipstick and eyeshadow myself. Dan/Shaunna did my lashes and liner. (We almost glued my eye shut, but, it worked itself out.)

Shaunna Rai

And, it was time to head to Portland. We stopped to pick up Miss E'on and Stephan and his partner, Devin. Devin was excited, because this would be his first drag show. We all ended up squeezed into the back seat of
Stephan's car. The ride there was long. Once we got into Portland,  it became a matter of finding a place to park. And, I got on the wrong side of Shaunna's mood, when I didn't speak up soon enough, because Shaunna couldn't see with her blackout contacts.

I finally found a parking lot around the block, and we were on out way. We got to the Westin in plenty of time. Chris O showed us where the girls would be getting ready. We brought the bags back, and I took Stephan and Devin back out to try to get their bracelets...only we were still way too early.

Chris O

And, given the fact that I was walking around in boy clothes with my face a made up, I was feeling weird, and decided that if the guys were ok, I would go get ready, and change into Liz Taylor. 

Once I was in the costume and heels, it was like I was a different person. I kinda understood for the first time how it was that Shaunna Rai comes out of Dan's mouth once a certain amount of makeup goes on. Nobody really notices Steve. But, everyone was watching Liz. 

Madame Sheena

While I was trying to not kill myself with the 8 inch heels, people stopped me to ask for a picture. Not because I had a camera, but, because they wanted to take a picture with me in it. It was literally one of the most surreal nights of my life.

On my way into the ballroom, to get directions about what was expected from pictures, I was stopped and asked if I would be participating in the costume contest. I hadn't really thought about it, mainly because I was there to "work." But, I figured, "what the Hell, you only live once, and if I stand a chance of winning,  why not?"

My parents showed up, and we're in partial costume. They asked about the bathrooms, so I pointed them in the right direction, and when they came back, they were Minions. Some nice person actually took a picture with all three of us..which I still have not seen anywhere...And, it was a bit awkward. While I've posed with my parents before, it has never been as awkward as it was when I was in the heels. Both of my parents at some point touched my butt.

ClubKid MizzDiveena

We all ended up with VIP bracelets. Which was cool. It meant that I had full access to everything. The VIP area was upstairs, with its own bar, and a bunch of tables. The balcony view of the dance floor was cool, and being above the chandeliers made for some nice pictures. But, I have to admit, I spent very little time in VIP. (Partly because it was hell walking up and down the stairs in the heels and a robe thing that was flowy enough that it would randomly start sliding, if I didn't hold myself just so.)

This was the first event in a long time that I spent completely sober. It was just as well, given how much trouble it would have been if I had fallen... Because, I still almost fell a number of times even without a drink. (My left ankle seems to be weaker than my right one.)

Once the doors were opened, I was dragged into the photo booth by the photographer. I got my one picture, and then went on my way, with camera out and at the ready. And, I did something that I rarely do at these events. I asked groups of people I'd I could take their pictures. And, as Shaunna has told me for years,  they all said yes..because, who doesn't want to pose for a camera? (Aside from me...)

When all four performers were finally there,  I grabbed a group picture of them. (One of the best pictures of the night.) They did their thing, and split up to mingle. Announcement was made of the agenda for the evening and DJ Jodi played music for everyone to dance to until the performances. 

Around 9:30pm, Miss E,on took the stage. About that time, some of Dan's friends from work showed up and said hi to me, before heading to the bar and to try to hunt down Shaunna.

Shaunna was up next, and I was looking forward to the song. Evanescence's Bring Me to Life. I've always loved the song, and when she said that she was doing it, I was excited. The performance went off without a hitch. 

More dancing. More pictures. I was asked by Coraline to get a picture with her. After she left, a couple of the hotel employee ladies took about a bajillion pictures of me on their phones. (More pictures that I have never seen.) 

Next up was the costume contest. Because I was supposed to be doing photos, this was stressful for me. I had no idea how I would manage to get pictures once I was on stage. Fortunately, waiting until last to go up, and being in one of the last categories, I didn't have much to worry about. Well, aside from the fact that I had been in heels for almost 3 hours, and my feet hurt and my legs were starting to get shaky.

Going up, I introduced myself as Liz Taylor, and when asked "and what are you?" I made a joke..."I'm dying to get out of these heels." The audience laughed. Unfortunately,  I was not fabulous enough to win the fabulous category. (Although, it made me feel good later, when someone told me that I was robbed, and should've won in my category.)

I totally agreed with the judges' decision that Medusa won overall. Ashley's costume was amazing. 

After it was over, I had to get rid of the heels. Literally, the pain on my feet and the wobbliness in my legs was making me sick to my stomach. I went and found our friends from the salon, and a lady, who I don't know, helped me take my shoes off. (I almost fell when I tried to do it myself.) I have a total new respect for women, who wear heels all day. And an even greater respect for drag queens, who, not only walk around in heels, but also dance, kick and do splits in heels.

Madame Sheena was up next for performing. I can't recall the name of the song. I want to say that it was from something called the Littlest Witch. Something like that.

ClubKid MizzDiveena was the final performer of the night. I knew due to her Jack Skellington costume that she had to be doing something Nightmare Before Christmas related. And, she didn't disappoint. She did a whole number to "This is Halloween."

The rest of the night was dancing. Shaunna and I caught back up with the group from the salon. Then, it was time to get changed and head out. We stopped and said goodbye to my parents. And, then it was back to the car, to head home.

On the way home we stopped at Burger King. We went inside, and I don't think that the people at the counter knew quite what to make of us. Two guys, two guys with makeup,  and Miss E,on, in full drag.

It was a great night. I has so much fun. And, I stepped so far out of my comfort zone, that it wasn't funny. But, I got an understanding for the first time, first hand, of what it's like to be a drag queen, and to get all of the attention. I would be lying if I didn't say that I actually of enjoyed the attention. I understand the draw to doing drag now. And, I'm not as immune to it as I once thought.  (But, once a year for Halloween, would be more than enough for me...since I don't perform. I can lip sync with the best, but I would be a very boring queen to watch.)

They Had Style, They Had Grace...

Augusta Gray, was an
inspiration for Shaunna Rai's
look.

For the last three years, I have heard name after name, of queens that I will never meet.  Ashley, Marlena, and Augusta Gray, amongst them.  They represent, (for lack of better terminology) the Golden Age of Drag, in Maine.  Back when Styxx was the Underground, back when Shaunna Rai was still a baby, back when there were Gay Bars, from Ogunquit to Bangor.

Over the last twenty years, a lot has changed.  There are no longer any Gay Bars north of Portland.  The Underground has changed hands multiple times, and is now Styxx, (and a bar that was once the talk of the town, is now struggling to fill itself.)  Shaunna Rai has been doing drag for...well, let's just say, that Shaunna Rai is of legal drinking age now...

As long as I've known Shaunna,
Marlena's name has been brought
up many times.

I'll still never meet many of the queens from that Golden Age.  But, this week, something happened, that's going to help me get to know who these girls were.  And, I'm going to get to know the faces that go with the names.  And, eventually, hopefully, I'll get the stories that go along with the faces and names.  At the beginning of the week, I was invited to join a group on Facebook, called Famous Drag Queens of Maine.  A group, that I'm really sad that I didn't think to create... This group is both a blessing and a curse.  While I'm getting to know the queens that I will never meet, and meeting some of the ones that I still have the opportunity to meet, I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Ashley Nason is another name that
I have heard brought up a ton.

I decided, when I got my tax refund, that I needed to get a printer, that had a scanner.  (Talk about foreshadowing...) Once the group was up and running, Dan told me that there was a box in the closet that was full of drag pictures from years ago.  So, I made it my job to go through all the photographs, and scan them, so that they can get posted to the group, eventually.

When he said some, I figured, a couple of rolls worth of film.  I didn't really consider the fact that there would be 21 plus years worth of pictures to go through.  Nor did I consider that it would take, literally, forever to go through all the pictures, and scan and separate and post them.

So far, the photo history is there, but the actual verbal/written history is not.  Part of the goal of the group, in my opinion, is to not only honor the queens who have been a part of Maine's history in images, but also to let them live on in memories.  Someone like me, who doesn't know any of the history prior to three years or so ago, has no idea what Sportsman's was.  I don't know Augusta Gray or Regina.  Without a page like this, I would never know their histories.

Miss JoAnn, circa 1969.

In a week, I learned about Regina, a queen who only performed for HIV/AIDS benefits, after her partner passed away from it.  What made her unique, was that prior to her partner's death, she had no interest in doing drag.  She did it, as a way to carry on his legacy, and support a cause that was near and dear to her.

I have seen pictures of Miss JoAnn, who I actually do know, that go all the way back to 1969.  I've seen pictures of ClubKid MizzDiveena, when she was doing fishy drag, instead of the more severe ClubKid face that she does now.  I have seen queens who look like boys in dresses.  I have seen queens who look so feminine, that you would never believe that they weren't women.  And, I've seen the transformation of 20+ years of Shaunna Rai's existence.

Drag families, that I had no idea existed, have been emerging, and giving me many a name to research a little more...just because it's something that I can't seem to get enough of.

Ashley, Shaunna and Marlena made up the ISG.

I may be a little obsessed with the group, because, I'm spending more time refreshing the page, to look at what new pictures, or anecdotes have been posted since the last time I looked.  (Yes, I know, I have a problem.)  

And, now that I have names and faces of people who were part of Shaunna Rai's past, I can open up the playing field a little bit about what I know about the time before me.  

I'm a couple of keyboard strokes away from

 being able to ask Shaunna's creator about putting her in drag for the first time, and seeing now, how far that she has come from her origins.  I can ask people about Ashley and Marlena, two thirds (Shaunna Rai being the last third) of ISG (International Show Girls) and try to get a little more information about why it was called ISG, and what it was exactly that they did.

In what has become an attempt at documenting the present of drag, I now have a whole new source of information and inspiration, to keep things fresh and new. And, I might just learn a thing or two about the years of history, that only those who have lived it, know.

Thank you for creating this group. And thank you to every contributor to the page. And, if you have, or know of anyone who has pictures and/or stories about any of the queens, kings, etc. who have played a part in this state's history, please, share and help keep these memories alive.