Recently, I came across a heated argument on a friend's Facebook page, about why he would ever want to do drag. At first glance, I wanted to step in and throw in my two cents worth, about why it wasn't okay that these two people were bullying this person.
As with everything I do in my life, I don't react, without doing my research first. My first response to reading it was that this person was being bullied about something that I know a bunch about...second-hand. Until I read a little further along. It turned out, that there was bullying from both sides. This one's picking on why you would want to dress like a woman if you're a man. And the "bullied" person, was picking out pieces of the first person's life to make into a big deal.
Who's right, in this case? NOBODY. Bullying is bullying, no matter who does it. If someone else starts it, and you "finish it," it doesn't make you any better than they are. It puts you on their level. So, save yourself the hassle. If you want to be able to claim bullying, don't join in on it.
Now, why would anyone, in their right mind, want to do drag?
This was the turning point, in reading the argument, for me. This was where I lost respect for the person "being bullied." When someone asks you, point-blank, why you're doing something, and you refuse to answer, on the grounds of "it's a free country," you're doing yourself a disservice.
The experience of it is different for everyone. For some people, it's because they want the attention. For some, it's because it gives them a chance to be someone who they're not, who can say and do the things that they would never get away with in real life. For some, it's because they want to feel pretty.
I did it, for a charity event. For me, it was very uncomfortable. I didn't mind the dressing up, and pretending to be someone else...but, I had a hard time with the performance part. When it came down to it, I needed anti-anxiety pills to help me get through it. Would I, knowing what I know about drag now, ever do it again? Maybe. It would need to be under the right circumstances, and I would need to know that the reason that I did it was for something worthwhile. And, I would choose to do something a bit less stressful for myself. When I did my "act," I sang live, in front of a bunch of people I knew. (With no practice.) I would probably lip sync if I did it again...and I would need to get some dance lessons...And, I would have to sparkle, like a goddamn disco ball.
Dan, on the other hand, gets into Shaunna Rai, on a regular basis, sometimes even multiple times during the same week. For him, it's about knowing that he looks good. He knows that he can do hair and makeup. And, he knows that people are going to say that he looks beautiful, which is a compliment that he doesn't always get in the "real world."
The best advice that I could give to the bullied person, would be to stand up for what you believe in. If you want to do drag for a career, then get your head out of your ass, and start letting people know that these are the reasons that I do this. (Although, keep in mind, that "Because I can walk in bigger heels than your girlfriend," or "Because I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and more of a woman than you'll ever have," are pretty much fighting words.) If you do drag because you feel like you have more freedom to do what you want, say it. If it's because you feel ugly as a boy, but pretty as a girl (or vice versa) let them know that too.
If someone asks you to be open with them, so that they can understand, where you're coming from, that's not the time to get defensive toward them. That will just further add to the hatred, fear and violence that is already prevalent enough in the LGBT community.
I started this blog, to help people understand drag in a way that hasn't really been explored before. Knowledge is power. Take back some of your power, and put the knowledge to use by helping other people understand. Because, that, my friends, is the one thing that is going to eventually get us over the hump, and allow everyone the freedom to be who they want to be, where they want to be, when they want to be. And that, is when we win.
As with everything I do in my life, I don't react, without doing my research first. My first response to reading it was that this person was being bullied about something that I know a bunch about...second-hand. Until I read a little further along. It turned out, that there was bullying from both sides. This one's picking on why you would want to dress like a woman if you're a man. And the "bullied" person, was picking out pieces of the first person's life to make into a big deal.
Who's right, in this case? NOBODY. Bullying is bullying, no matter who does it. If someone else starts it, and you "finish it," it doesn't make you any better than they are. It puts you on their level. So, save yourself the hassle. If you want to be able to claim bullying, don't join in on it.
Now, why would anyone, in their right mind, want to do drag?
This was the turning point, in reading the argument, for me. This was where I lost respect for the person "being bullied." When someone asks you, point-blank, why you're doing something, and you refuse to answer, on the grounds of "it's a free country," you're doing yourself a disservice.
The experience of it is different for everyone. For some people, it's because they want the attention. For some, it's because it gives them a chance to be someone who they're not, who can say and do the things that they would never get away with in real life. For some, it's because they want to feel pretty.
Dan, on the other hand, gets into Shaunna Rai, on a regular basis, sometimes even multiple times during the same week. For him, it's about knowing that he looks good. He knows that he can do hair and makeup. And, he knows that people are going to say that he looks beautiful, which is a compliment that he doesn't always get in the "real world."
The best advice that I could give to the bullied person, would be to stand up for what you believe in. If you want to do drag for a career, then get your head out of your ass, and start letting people know that these are the reasons that I do this. (Although, keep in mind, that "Because I can walk in bigger heels than your girlfriend," or "Because I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and more of a woman than you'll ever have," are pretty much fighting words.) If you do drag because you feel like you have more freedom to do what you want, say it. If it's because you feel ugly as a boy, but pretty as a girl (or vice versa) let them know that too.
If someone asks you to be open with them, so that they can understand, where you're coming from, that's not the time to get defensive toward them. That will just further add to the hatred, fear and violence that is already prevalent enough in the LGBT community.
I started this blog, to help people understand drag in a way that hasn't really been explored before. Knowledge is power. Take back some of your power, and put the knowledge to use by helping other people understand. Because, that, my friends, is the one thing that is going to eventually get us over the hump, and allow everyone the freedom to be who they want to be, where they want to be, when they want to be. And that, is when we win.
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