If you had told me five years ago, that I would be trying to educate about HIV, and that it would be in response to Charlie Sheen's admission of his status, I would never have believed you. But, it appears, that that is exactly where my life is headed.
As recently as 4 years ago, I was guilty of shaming those who are living with HIV. Due to my own ignorance, at the time, I just figured that it was someone's own fault if they were exposed to it.
It bothered me less that a well known celebrity was admitting, openly that he is HIV positive than it did when I started seeing responses to this admission.
Multiple times, I saw things like, "He deserves it," or "What took so long for him to get it?" I saw a couple of, "Aww so sad that you're so sick, you'll be missed," as if he had died the moment he "came out" (for lack of a better term). And, my favorite stupid response was, "Well, this is all just a publicity stunt."
I was very young when the initial AIDS epidemic hit in the 80's. I remember in elementary school hearing about Ryan White and his having died from this disease called AIDS. But, being in a place like Maine, those things happen in other places. But, I remember the fear that anything could give you AIDS.
It wasn't until the 90's when I actually met someone who was HIV positive. He was a friend of my Uncle's. He worked in a hospital lab, and was infected by a needle stick. By this time I was in high school, and had a lot of questions that I wanted to ask, and probably should have. But, he wasn't someone I really knew, and it's rude to ask people questions about their health...or so I felt at the time.
In 1998, I had my first scare. I had hooked up with a guy, who afterward, freaked out on me, and told me that I had given him AIDS. And, I believed that I had. It led me into a tailspin. I had AIDS (or so I thought), so, therefore, I was going to die. It was the scariest time of my life. I knew nothing about testing. I knew nothing of the treatments that were available. What I knew of HIV/AIDS, I had picked up from the play RENT.
It wasn't until right around the time of my breakup with my ex that HIV hit very close to home. One of my good friends outed his status to me. I had so many questions for him. And, I was so scared for him, because I was still totally ignorant on the topic of HIV.
Shortly after that, I went on a couple dates with a guy, who felt comfortable enough to share his status with me. It was his choice for us to remain friends, and not pursue anything romantic. But, he was the first person to really give me information about the virus, transmission of it, and treatments. It was also the first time I had heard a name that I know we'll now, The Frannie Peabody Center.
After a really bad date and a bunch of self-loathing, I once again had convinced myself I had HIV. (I swear I'm not that much of a hypochondriac anymore.) My friend Nelson took me to Portland, to the Frannie Peabody Center, to get myself tested. When I had received my negative status the first time, it was with a blood draw. So, you can imagine my surprise when I found out it was only going to take 20 minutes and a mouth swab to get results. And, finding out that even if the result came back positive, Frannie would be able to help me get treatment and information, it was a relief.
The 20 minutes it took to get those results were the worst minutes of my life. I think I cried before I found out the results. I know I wanted to puke. And, when it was time for me to go, it almost pissed me off that they would not allow my support person to come in with me. (I get it now, but, at the time, I hated them.) And, when it came back as negative, I had worn myself out so much that I didn't really have the energy to celebrate.
Fast forward to meeting Dan and Shaunna Rai. My first "real date" with the two of them, was at Screaming Queens, a fundraiser for the Eastern Maine AIDS Network. Followed up over the last few years by a ton of events with the Frannie Peabody Center. I have gathered information here and there. I have been educated, and done my best to educate myself about HIV and AIDS.
So, why all this information about my experience with HIV and what does it have to do with Charlie Sheen and the responses online?
Honestly, I feel like in order to teach something, you have to know something about what you want to teach. Otherwise, you're just making things up. So, giving an idea of what my life experiences are, shows that I have some idea of what I'm talking about...although, I would still be remiss to think that I know all there is to know.
So, why do I believe that we needed to have Charlie Sheen out himself? Well, we're living in a post-epidemic world. People have gotten complacent and lazy when it comes to protecting themselves. We live in a world where people would rather point fingers than to take responsibility for their actions. So, it was time for someone to say, "Hey, if it could happen to me, it can happen to anyone."
In his Today Show interview, Charlie made it seem as though he will step up to the plate as an advocate for people living with HIV. I hope he does.
Whether you love him or hate him, he started conversations that we should have been having all along. People believe that there is a cure for AIDS. (There still is not, in spite of all the research being done.) People believe that it is still a death sentence. (It is not. People live normal, healthy lives with the proper treatments.) HIV cannot be transmitted by drinking from the same glass, kissing, or using a public toilet. It can be transmitted through an exchange of bodily fluids. And, it can be prevented. PEP and PrEP are both available as a former of prevention, either pre or post-exposure. And, the most reliable of all, is the condom.
I can't imagine that this is a publicity stunt for Charlie Sheen. What publicist in their right mind would say, "You know what, you're on a downward spiral, so to boost your career, you should get HIV, then go public about it." And, he's not dead, yet. He stands to live a normal life with the treatments he has been receiving. Nobody deserves a diagnosis of something as life changing as HIV, and it's horrible to think that people would wish it on anyone.
So, I can only hope that Charlie Sheen will step up to the plate and start advocating and teaching. Whether he does or not, remains to be seen.
(I'm not going to get into all the lawsuits he is facing, because, that is not something I would be able to speak about with any knowledge. )
But, I will do my part to spread knowledge, and hopefully help end the stigma that surrounds HIV, and those who deal with it on a daily basis. If I can change one person's mind, by teaching, and rid some of the ignorance in the world, I will have done my job. If I can reach multiple people, and do the same, well, it will be icing on the cake.
So, get tested and know your status. (Which reminds me, I'm probably due for a test myself.)
Fight the ignorance, educate yourself. And, get tested regularly. Help put an end to HIV.
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