What Does the Fox Say?

When you're out and about and get Friday the 13th tattoos with your closest drag queen friends, there has to be a story...right!?

A photo posted by Steve Dixon (@dragged2inside) on May 14, 2016 at 11:07am PDT

Last weekend was a busy, crazy and fun weekend. Basically, everything that I needed after getting bad news about job prospects.

Friday night, we had the Portland Pride Launch Party. I had been asked to take pictures, in exchange for free admission for me, Shaunna Rai and Miss E,on. At least, that's how it was supposed to work. As with the party last year, I had to walk about three blocks to get there after parking. Only to find out that there was nothing for us...so needless to say, Shaunna wasn't happy.  And, it was my responsibility to fix it.

We ended up paying for our tickets, then got reimbursed. Not ideal, but it worked. The launch party was fun. Shaunna was announced along with Cherry Lemonade and drag king Jack Hardness as the judges for the Pride parade. There were so many performances, and I basically was glued to the camera and didn't really interact with anyone...although, my flame glitter beard did get noticed by the MC and I got a shout out.

The night finally was over and I could put the camera away. A few of the other drag queens were going to Styxx, for drinks, so we went along.

As it was Friday the 13th, it turned out to be a very interesting, fun night.

Shortly after going to Styxx, we were told about a shop that was doing tattoos for $20 for as long as they had a line. So, what happens? A troupe of drag queens descended on Lucky's Tattoos. Gigi Gabor had called ahead to see if they were still open, and when she told them that they would be getting a group of queens coming in, they couldn't turn it down.

So, we left Styxx and walked to the tattoo parlor. Shaunna said she would pay for mine, since I'd paid for drinks. We got there, and they said that they were going to cut off just before I would have been able to go. Gigi, Cherry, Shaunna, E,on and Lady Ginger went to sign their lives away as far as paperwork went. I have been wanting another tattoo for a while, especially since I paid for Dan to get one for Valentine's day. So, when she said they wouldn't be taking any more people, I advocated for myself and asked. And, because I was with the queens, I lucked out.

Since we now had a place in line, we headed down the street to Studio 55. And, we ended up closing the club. So, we headed back to the parlor. Jacinda  (who came in boy form) and I had to run to move our cars so they wouldn't get towed.

Finally, we hunkered down for the night...or morning...since it was like 2am by now. There were still a few people ahead of us. The tv was on, and it was sports. Shaunna complained that queens don't care about sports. The tv eventually listened, and changed to some kind of nature show.

"What the fuck!?" I looked up to see people shoot a hippo, and then butcher it on air. What the fuck, indeed. Once that was over, Wild America, a show from the 80's came on. And, again, dying animals...this time at the hands...teeth of other animals.

Finally, it was time to get tattooed. Gigi was first. When talking about what people were going to get, she had said she would be getting the number 207, to represent her Maine drag sisters. I thought that was awesome. 

E,on got the Deathly Hallows (from Harry Potter).

Ginger was excited, because this would be her first tattoo. She got a diamond, with the number 13.

Cherry got a two for one design. She combined a cherry and a lemon, to represent...well...herself.

Shaunna decided to get a key...on her butt cheek...and made sure everyone knew that it was the key to unlock her asshole. Little did she know that it actually unlocked the asshole in someone else. The guy who was supposed to do her key refused to tattoo her ass. So, she got a cool woman instead. The tattooer had to rip Shaunna's tights to do it. And, admitted afterward that it was two firsts for her that night...the first ass she ever tattoed, and the first drag queens she had ever tattooed.

And finally, I got a fox. The guy who refused to do Shaunna's ended up doing mine. And, I think he took out frustration on me during my linework...it hurt way more than the coloring did.

While the fox really doesn't have a drag related story...other than it was done with five queens in full drag...it does have a story, other than that it's cute and looks like something I would draw.

The fox is kind of a spirit animal of sorts...and the story of why is kinda morbid. I was picking a client up from work, and got behind another car. A fox ran out in front of the first car, and was hit and killed. But, before it died, it locked eyes with me. I've been drawn to foxes ever since.

By the time we were done, it was just about 4am. Which normally wouldn't be an issue...except we were doing the Zumba weekend starting at 9am. By the time we got home to go to sleep it was 5am. I still had to wash off my glitter beard and didn't get to sleep until almost 6. Only to be woken up 2 hours later, for a full day of running, taking pictures at the Zumba retreat.

But, it was so worth staying up all night. Because, I mean, really...who else can say, honestly, that they got tattooed with five drag queens on Friday the 13th? I'm willing to bet the number of people who can, is pretty small.

What Would You Say?

Recently, a friend of ours said to me, "I never know what to say, when I see your posts about what's going on with work and unemployment."  The truth is, I don't know either.

A few years ago, after the breakup with my ex, I decided that my social media accounts needed to have a happier vibe...because, quite honestly, I can now see, in hindsight, just how unhappy I was.  It lasted a while.  I started to post about the things I was discovering about myself.  I started taking chances on things that I normally wouldn't have done.  And, when Dan and I started to date, a lot of things started to change.

I was being encouraged to do things that I loved.  Drawing, taking pictures, writing. I have experienced a ton of firsts. My first professional drag show locally, my first drag show out of state, my first tattoos, and selling my first merchandise.  All, major milestones, for very different reasons.

During the time that I've been mostly unemployed, I've come to a couple of conclusions though.  My social media feeds have again begun to bring gloom and doom.  I'm angry, a lot.  And, I'm so over politics, that I can't even deal.  I've seriously begun to consider removing the facebook app from my phone, because I'm just over it.  For every positive post, that makes me laugh, there are 100 that make me want to punch something.

It's not just social media.  Although, that does play a big part in it.  I'm in a place of feeling like a failure in my life.  My job is a joke, and while I'm trying to find something better, I keep getting rejected.  I have far too much time to spend with myself, and that's when all the demons come out to play.

I've used time to do the art thing, and the graphic design stuff.  And, while I love doing it, even that's been getting on my nerves.  If I'm commissioned to do something for pay, I don't want to be yanked around, waiting to see if I'm going to get paid.  By the same token, if I'm doing something for you for free, like a show poster, I need information before I start...because I can make things up...but it's probably not going to be what you want...and putting me on ice, while you decide, is a good way to convince me that it's not worth taking my time for you.

That being said, my blog here, will continue, like it always does.  Sporadically.  Because sometimes I feel like saying something.  And sometimes I don't.  And, sometimes I do, but I know that I'm going to hurt someone's feelings if I say what's really on my mind...so I keep quiet.

My Instagram feed Stevedjr (the personal one) is going to have selfies, random crap, and art stuff.  The Dragged2Inside Instagram feed is going to continue the way it has been with collages from shows, show posters, and drag related artwork..

The facebook page for Dragged to the Inside is going to remain much like it is...with drag related or trans related or gay related stuff, pictures from as many shows as I can get to...basically what it's always been.  And, my personal page....well, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it.  I won't delete it, because I have too many contacts and too much time invested in it.  But, I may step away from it for a while.  Because, the last thing I want to do, while I'm feeling down, is to bring everyone else down with me.  I don't want to be Debbie Downer all the time.  

You're Sketchy...

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff while I've been practically laid off from work.  Mostly stuff in my head, like all the feelings that I don't want to really think about.  At the same time, I've been making some breakthroughs as well.

I've been dealing with an art block for a lot longer than I want to think about.  It hasn't been just a few days or weeks.  It's been years.  But, Shaunna Rai had asked me if I would draw up a cartoon logo for the "Shaunna Rai Brand," now that she has merchandise available.  So, I did.  I'd tried to draw this logo for a while, and could never get the idea in my head to translate to paper, and actually look at all like Shaunna.  So, I had written it off as my just being a crappy artist with no original ideas in my head. (You know, because that's what you do when you can't get something to work...isn't it?)

So, getting through the whole drawing, and having it be approved as actually looking right, I was excited.  My drawing was going to be on a t-shirt.  The expectation was that it would probably be only on one t-shirt, because, well, that's how things tend to go in my life.  So, when it went live, and there were a couple of orders for it, I was really excited.  People were wearing something that I drew.  And, I didn't have to pay them to do it, or talk them into it or anything.

As soon as I posted the final product for Shaunna's stuff, I got requests from other people to do drawings of them.  I'm going to have my artwork potentially given out in Boston for Pride for promotional material.  I'm in talks with a queen from Tampa to do a portrait for her.  I've got a couple of potentials in the works as well.

So, once I got Shaunna's line of merch going, I figured it was time to try again, to launch my own line of stuff.  I've got a shop through Teeblaster, and another through CafePress.  I'm looking for ways to branch out, and offer more than just t-shirts.  But, it's been exciting to be able to get my artwork seen by the internet world...even if my mom is the only one who's buying my line of work...The point is, I'm trying to do something new, in hopes that it will help me in the long run.  I just need to get a better grasp of how to market through social media.

But, the point is, that I've broken through my art block, and, I look forward to drawing again.

And, if you know of anyone who may be interested in having me do a portrait, for them, shoot me an email at Swd88880@yahoo.com.   

That's NOT DRAG!!!

I will admit that I am no scholar when it comes to the history of drag.  So, forgive me if I maybe make a mistake or two.  Drag has always been an art form.  In the days of Shakespeare, it was used as a way to portray women on stage, as men were the only ones allowed to be actors.  As time went on, drag went from being a theatrical thing, to just being a thing.  The makeup changed, and drag move toward a more "natural" look from the Victorian era, right through the early part of the 1900's.  Around the Mid 1900's, drag again changed.  The 70's, 80's and 90's introduced us to Club Kids, Avante Garde, and brought us RuPaul, and his eventual drag empire.

Drag has moved from being just a thing that people do, to something that makes people money.  And for some, it's good money.   Talk to someone who's booked a show with a RuPaul's Drag Race contestant about booking fees, and you'll see what I mean.  And, it's not just all about Drag Race.  There are competitions all over the world, for drag kings and queens.

The invention of the internet has been a blessing and a curse.  While you can now sit on Twitter during the airing of an episode, and talk with other fans, and also with the performers sometimes, it has also given everyone an open forum to be able to share every intimate feeling about any topic...including tearing down a person.

The drag community as a whole has two distinct sides to it, that I've observed.  You have the people who are in it, because they love it.  And, you have the people who feel like they're the best, better than everyone else, and have the ability and responsibility to determine what is drag and what is not.  This, unfortunately, is one of my pet peeves.

Club Kid drag is just as much drag as Beauty Pageant drag. Bearded drag queens are just as much drag as Fishy queens.  Poor queens have just as much right to call themselves a queen as someone who has thousands of dollars to spend on outfits.

I will admit, I don't like every drag performer that I come across.  I don't necessarily understand every look that I come across.  But, I don't have to.  I don't want every drag queen I come across to look like they stepped right out of a Playboy photoshoot.  But, I also don't want every queen to come out looking like a Pablo Picasso painting either.  Both are totally valid forms of drag.  As a photographer, I can appreciate that there are good points about both...in spite of the fact that I may not like either of them.

But, the truth of the matter is that tearing down a person over their choices when it comes to their drag, is not okay.  I've seen enough professional performers, to know the difference between someone who has been performing for a long time, and someone who literally started under a year ago.  There are very few new queens, who have everything perfect in such a little amount of time.  (It's not impossible, but it's not the norm, either.)  If you don't like something about someone's drag, don't spew hatred about it.  If you don't understand someone's drag, ask them about it.  "Why did you choose to do a gorgeous, fishy face and wear a beard? It's confusing to me."  Drag can be a deeply personal thing, and most of the performers I've met, can tell you, and will tell you, exactly why and how they came to the aesthetic that the have.

Drag at this point in time, is less about the total aesthetic, though, than it is about messing around with gender perceptions.  As I've said before, if I knew how to do makeup, I would consider doing drag with a beard.  Not because I want people to point at me and ask questions, but, because I don't want to have to shave, just for a face...unless I know that I'm doing it specifically for that reason.  (Although, there is a possibility that I may be losing the beard in the future, for a new project...if the project actually becomes "a thing.")  Drag is not categorized as just one thing.  Beauty is not the only way to do drag.  You don't have to be a dancer to be a good performer.  You don't have to be able to sing live.  You don't have to be able to do splits, or back hand springs, or bend over backward and walk your hands and feet toward each other until it looks like you're going to split your spine in half.  You just have to know what you're doing.

Once you know what you're doing as a performer, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  As long as you know that you're good enough, that's the important thing.  And, if anyone ever tells you that what you're doing isn't good enough, or even worse, tells you, "it's not drag," I give you full on permission to turn around, look at them, and say "Fuck You."  Especially, if the person trying to read you, isn't in drag themselves.  It takes a whole lot of balls to be a man and look like a woman.  (And vice versa.)

And, for my drag fans, who base all that they know of a performer based on RuPaul's Drag Race, I have one thing to say...Sashay, Away.  What you see on tv is 12-14 hours of real time action, being edited down into a 60-90 minute episode.  There is a storyline for each performer, based on the overall editing of the season.  There are roles to be filled by the performers.  While the ultimate challenge, is coming back from a "lip sync for your life," sometimes, you don't get a chance to show off your "performance" through that lip sync.  That doesn't mean that you're not a good performer.  It actually means, that the judges don't see anything severely lacking in your performance during the challenges.

Sometimes you can get away with relying on the body.  Sometimes you can get away with relying on "The Look."  If Michelle Visage, RuPaul, and the guest judges for the week aren't calling you out on something, there's no reason for others to do so.  As RuPaul said, "We're all born naked, and the rest is drag."  So, calling someone out and, saying, "That's NOT drag..."  Well, your argument is invalid.  And, you might need to check yourself, before you make a fool of yourself.