This year, Pride Portland! asked on their Facebook page, for people to write in with the hashtag, What Pride Means To Me. Of course, being the procrastinator that I am, I put it off. And put it off. And put it off. And, now we're about 3 days out from Pride. So, it's time to do it, or not. And, I'm going to do it. Although, what I have to say, is going to take far too much room for one of the little blurbs that they've been using for other people.
Pride has always been about the fight. It's been about making sure that the LGBT community is visible, so that other people can understand the struggle that we go through on a daily basis, just to get the same respect as everyone else. This, is especially important now, following the attack on Orlando's Pulse Nightclub. The media is omitting the detail that it is a gay nightclub, which is sad, considering that the reason it even exists, is to keep the "pulse" of the owner's brother's heart alive...a brother who was part of the LGBT community. The response to the attack has been polarizing. Gay people are accusing straight people of not caring. Gun owners, are attacking (verbally) people who are advocating for stricter gun laws.
It's gotten so bad, that people are trying to take down two businesses in the Portland/Falmouth area, because the owner got so upset about the whole thing, that she posted to Facebook that she would not serve people who owned nor condoned the use of Military Grade Weapons, in her restaurants. And, the backlash, not just from the state of Maine, but from across the country, in response has been terrible. All this, in response to a woman who for the last 3 years, has donated one of her restaurants to Pride Portland, for free, for Pride events.
I have had to hide posts on my timeline, from people I grew up with. Not because I don't like the people. But, because intentional or not, their attempts at gallows humor, have been severely offensive to me. You don't have to be gay to be my friend. You don't have to agree with my anti-gun beliefs. But, I need you to understand that this was an attack on my community. In a world that already doesn't feel safe, things have gotten a little more real. A little scarier than they have ever been before.
So, back to my point. Pride is about the fight. The fight to be visible. The fight to have a voice. To be able to be ourselves, whether we're fat, femme and asian, or tall, tan and twinky. We're bears, and otters and pigs. Silver foxes. We're gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. We live beside you, and you see us on a daily basis, whether you realize it or not. And, Pride gives us a chance to show how far we've come. Both, as a nation, and individually.
At this time last year, we were waiting for (or just received...honestly, I can't quite remember) a ruling from the Supreme Court about whether marriage should be legal for the LGBT community. And, now, it is. It was a victory, to be celebrated. But, there are still places in the country and in the world, where you can be evicted, or fired for just being gay. And, in most places, around the world, you can't be trans and expect to have a full life, because the death toll for trans people (especially those of color) is staggering.
For me, Pride is a time to say, "Look, I'm gay, but that's not all of who I am." It's a chance for me to open up a conversation to educate people who may not know a gay or lesbian or trans person. It's a time when I can be with people who are like me, and understand that it hasn't been an easy process to get to the point in my life where I'm comfortable with who I am. It's a time for me to think about all the times growing up that I was called names and people talked about me, in front of me, like I wasn't there. And, to realize that none of that really matters. Yes, it helped shape me into who I am today, but it doesn't matter anymore.
What matters now, is showing the world that we're not going to self destruct, because people are threatening our safe places. What matters now, more than ever is for us to band together, and make things happen. Over the course of history, the LGBT community has made things happen.
The riots at Stonewall were started by a drag queen, and lead to changes in laws. In 1969, it was illegal to sell alcohol to homosexuals, and it was illegal for two men to dance with each other. The riots following a raid set the backdrop for the modern Gay Rights movement. This is our history, and this night, is the reason that Pride parades exist.
In the 80's, when the number of people who were dying from AIDS complications hit record numbers, a small, but vocal group of gay men led the fight for finding a cure. But, before they could find a cure, they had to convince a presidential administration to even start looking for medical treatments to help dying friends and lovers.
In the 90's we were allowed to serve in the military, but had to do so in secret. It wasn't until a couple years ago, that Don't Ask, Don't Tell, was done away with. But, there was a fight to abolish that, which eventually, we won.
The LGBT community is now at arms, again, struggling to be seen and heard, following the brutal murders of 49 people and injuries of 53. This is going to be the Stonewall of my generation. This is going to be what will bring people together to bring about changes. Whether it's writing senators about gun control change, or attending candlelight vigils, or whether it's just continuing to go out, and just not be scared, the attack has changed many of us, whether we knew someone who died or not. We are once again in a place of needing to advocate for our selves, and our safety. For some, this will be over in weeks, for others, months. And, for some, this will be the beginning of a lifetime of advocacy for the LGBT community.
With the sweeping changes to the LGBT climate over the last few years, the overturning of DADT, and legalization of marriage nationwide, it may seem like we're in the best position that we've been in almost 50 years. This may be true. But, we're not done. Not by a long shot. Until the day that we don't have to worry about looking at someone for just a second too long, and wondering if they're going to pound the crap out of us. Until the day that a trans person doesn't have to worry about whether they're going to pass in society. Until the day when it doesn't matter that you're gay or straight. Until the day that we can be free to do what we want, love whom we want, and be ourselves, without fear of repercussions against us, we have work to do.
Pride to me, is about being yourself. But, it's just as much about fighting for what's right. Not just for me, but for the next generation and those yet to come. So much work has been done, to make it easier for me to be my authentic self, by past generations of the LGBTQIA community. So, in some small way, it's up to my generation, and those to come, to continue to make things easier for future generations, until, there is no longer a need to fight to be accepted by society.
So, I will be at Pride. I will be attending events this weekend. And, while I may be a little more cautious about my surroundings, I will have fun. I don't want to be scared. And, I don't want to let fear take over, and keep me from doing things that I love. And, that, above all, is what Pride means to me.
Pride has always been about the fight. It's been about making sure that the LGBT community is visible, so that other people can understand the struggle that we go through on a daily basis, just to get the same respect as everyone else. This, is especially important now, following the attack on Orlando's Pulse Nightclub. The media is omitting the detail that it is a gay nightclub, which is sad, considering that the reason it even exists, is to keep the "pulse" of the owner's brother's heart alive...a brother who was part of the LGBT community. The response to the attack has been polarizing. Gay people are accusing straight people of not caring. Gun owners, are attacking (verbally) people who are advocating for stricter gun laws.
It's gotten so bad, that people are trying to take down two businesses in the Portland/Falmouth area, because the owner got so upset about the whole thing, that she posted to Facebook that she would not serve people who owned nor condoned the use of Military Grade Weapons, in her restaurants. And, the backlash, not just from the state of Maine, but from across the country, in response has been terrible. All this, in response to a woman who for the last 3 years, has donated one of her restaurants to Pride Portland, for free, for Pride events.
I have had to hide posts on my timeline, from people I grew up with. Not because I don't like the people. But, because intentional or not, their attempts at gallows humor, have been severely offensive to me. You don't have to be gay to be my friend. You don't have to agree with my anti-gun beliefs. But, I need you to understand that this was an attack on my community. In a world that already doesn't feel safe, things have gotten a little more real. A little scarier than they have ever been before.
So, back to my point. Pride is about the fight. The fight to be visible. The fight to have a voice. To be able to be ourselves, whether we're fat, femme and asian, or tall, tan and twinky. We're bears, and otters and pigs. Silver foxes. We're gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. We live beside you, and you see us on a daily basis, whether you realize it or not. And, Pride gives us a chance to show how far we've come. Both, as a nation, and individually.
At this time last year, we were waiting for (or just received...honestly, I can't quite remember) a ruling from the Supreme Court about whether marriage should be legal for the LGBT community. And, now, it is. It was a victory, to be celebrated. But, there are still places in the country and in the world, where you can be evicted, or fired for just being gay. And, in most places, around the world, you can't be trans and expect to have a full life, because the death toll for trans people (especially those of color) is staggering.
For me, Pride is a time to say, "Look, I'm gay, but that's not all of who I am." It's a chance for me to open up a conversation to educate people who may not know a gay or lesbian or trans person. It's a time when I can be with people who are like me, and understand that it hasn't been an easy process to get to the point in my life where I'm comfortable with who I am. It's a time for me to think about all the times growing up that I was called names and people talked about me, in front of me, like I wasn't there. And, to realize that none of that really matters. Yes, it helped shape me into who I am today, but it doesn't matter anymore.
What matters now, is showing the world that we're not going to self destruct, because people are threatening our safe places. What matters now, more than ever is for us to band together, and make things happen. Over the course of history, the LGBT community has made things happen.
The riots at Stonewall were started by a drag queen, and lead to changes in laws. In 1969, it was illegal to sell alcohol to homosexuals, and it was illegal for two men to dance with each other. The riots following a raid set the backdrop for the modern Gay Rights movement. This is our history, and this night, is the reason that Pride parades exist.
In the 80's, when the number of people who were dying from AIDS complications hit record numbers, a small, but vocal group of gay men led the fight for finding a cure. But, before they could find a cure, they had to convince a presidential administration to even start looking for medical treatments to help dying friends and lovers.
In the 90's we were allowed to serve in the military, but had to do so in secret. It wasn't until a couple years ago, that Don't Ask, Don't Tell, was done away with. But, there was a fight to abolish that, which eventually, we won.
The LGBT community is now at arms, again, struggling to be seen and heard, following the brutal murders of 49 people and injuries of 53. This is going to be the Stonewall of my generation. This is going to be what will bring people together to bring about changes. Whether it's writing senators about gun control change, or attending candlelight vigils, or whether it's just continuing to go out, and just not be scared, the attack has changed many of us, whether we knew someone who died or not. We are once again in a place of needing to advocate for our selves, and our safety. For some, this will be over in weeks, for others, months. And, for some, this will be the beginning of a lifetime of advocacy for the LGBT community.
With the sweeping changes to the LGBT climate over the last few years, the overturning of DADT, and legalization of marriage nationwide, it may seem like we're in the best position that we've been in almost 50 years. This may be true. But, we're not done. Not by a long shot. Until the day that we don't have to worry about looking at someone for just a second too long, and wondering if they're going to pound the crap out of us. Until the day that a trans person doesn't have to worry about whether they're going to pass in society. Until the day when it doesn't matter that you're gay or straight. Until the day that we can be free to do what we want, love whom we want, and be ourselves, without fear of repercussions against us, we have work to do.
Pride to me, is about being yourself. But, it's just as much about fighting for what's right. Not just for me, but for the next generation and those yet to come. So much work has been done, to make it easier for me to be my authentic self, by past generations of the LGBTQIA community. So, in some small way, it's up to my generation, and those to come, to continue to make things easier for future generations, until, there is no longer a need to fight to be accepted by society.
So, I will be at Pride. I will be attending events this weekend. And, while I may be a little more cautious about my surroundings, I will have fun. I don't want to be scared. And, I don't want to let fear take over, and keep me from doing things that I love. And, that, above all, is what Pride means to me.
