Juju Loves Me

April 12, was a night, a long time in coming, that I won't soon forget.  Jujubee came to Maine.

Now, this may sound foolish, because she's from Boston, so why wouldn't she come to Maine?  She goes everywhere else around the world... But, this was important to me, because Jujubee and Raven were my introduction to RuPaul's Drag Race.

I had seen Raven at Club 313 in Manchester, shortly after Dan and I started dating.  So, seeing Jujubee was on of the things that I felt was a "Must Do" activity.  And, given the fact that she was going to be right in my own back yard (so to speak) it didn't make sense to NOT go.

It was an interesting day, to say the least.  I had to work.  And, I had to ask someone to cover for the last 3 hours of my shift, because I had stupidly forgotten, when I told them my days that I needed to have off for prior commitments, that I was doing this.  So, I got out of work, and had to run to the other job, to pick up a phone charger that I'd forgotten the day before.  Then, it was clear sailing for the rest of the night.

Shaunna Rai was working at Blackstones, doing a Jujubee Pre-Party Happy Hour.  And, my parents came for that.  It was great.  Not nearly as busy as I'd expected it to be.  But, it was a good crowd.  When I got there, my parents had already been there for a little bit.  And my mom was excited that sh
e was going to be able to cross some things off her bucket list.  Namely ordering a "cocktail"  really, just a Shirley Temple.  And, she was going to be "bar-hopping."  And, she was going to be seeing her first Drag Race girl.  Not just seeing, but meeting, as well.  That was a little surprise that I kept right up until just before we went.

Having worked a full day, and having been excited about it for months, I was wearing myself down on the way to Styxx.  Shaunna had had a long day too, so tensions were a little high.  Which, usually can be cut with a drink.  Or three.

Once we got to Styxx, it was a bit of "stand around," and wait for them to open up the back room, where

the show was going to be.  That's where my mom made sure that we knew that she was knocking stuff off her bucket list.  Finally, it was time to go get in to get a place for the show.  And, it was packed.  I haven't seen Styxx that packed since the first time I went there with my ex.  And that was like 8 years ago...

As always happens, during a show, whether Shaunna is performing, or not, the mingling happens.  I stayed with my parents, and tried to get them to a spot where they'd be able to see the show well.  In the meantime, Shaunna met her "fairy godmother".  A woman from Wiscasset, who runs an antiques shop, who thought that she was the most beautiful queen there.  And, randomly, just gave Shaunna some jewelry, because "it's nothing that I'm going to wear, but it would look beautiful on you."

Once I got my parents settled, in what looked like a good place to get pictures, I got a text from Sheneeda Diet, asking if I could come help get stuff out of the car.  Being the person that I am, I said I would.  And, somewhere along the way, I managed to lose my meet and greet ticket.  Which I didn't find out until just
before it was time to "meet and greet."

The show started, and it was a lot of girls that I know from other venues.  Mikayla Loveheart, Jacinda, Sheneeda Diet, Miss Joanne and Cherry Lemonade.  Partway through the show, Jujubee showed up, and people started to get really excited.

During a show, I go into a kind of zone, where I'm just snapping pictures like crazy, because I need to have something good to post afterward.  A way of documenting that I was there.  They were there.  And this is something that needs to be saved.  Because lord knows that there is not a whole lot of drag going on in Maine.  Especially, compared to what there used to be...but that's a subject for another post...

Juju finally came out and took the stage.  In the back of my mind, I was disappointed, because she didn't do
"Dancing on my Own," which was the song that she and Raven did, which was my intro to Drag Race.  On her way off the stage, Sheneeda Diet asked her to stop for a picture, which she did.  And, she talked to Shaunna Rai.  Which shocked my mom.  And, reminded me that, A) Jujubee is a real person. B) Shaunna and Sheneeda have both been friends with her for years.  C) She's a Drag
Race sweetheart.

Before I knew it, the show was over.  Sheneeda, whose alter ego Michael, is my boss, asked for help taking things back out to his car, because he was the on call person, and needed to go to work.  Then came the wait for the meet and greet.  This was a process that I didn't care much for.  The way that it was made to sound initially, was that there would be a photographer there, who would be taking pictures for you, as you did have to pay for the meet and greet. You were responsible for finding your own person to take your own pictures.  As, the
photos were being taken in the front room, instead of the back room, the line was blocking off people from being able to move freely. So, people kept pushing their way through, if and when they weren't trying to get a place closer to the front of the line.  That was when I found that my ticket was gone.

The tension of the night flared.  I got grouchy.  I just wanted to get the stupid pictures out of the way and leave.  My dad, who also had a ticket, and was just tired, gave me his ticket.  "You'll get more out of it, than I will," he said.  While I was standing in line, I kept
looking over at my dad, because he looked tired.  And, I happened to look up just in time to see an older man...older than my dad...was checking my dad out.
 And, that snapped me back to reality, that this is a fun night.  And, I need to get over my bad attitude before I get to the front of the line.

Finally, it was mom's turn with Jujubee.  She went up, and talked with her.  And,
I snapped more pictures than the paparazzi.

And, then it was my turn.  I got a little star struck.  And, had no idea what I was going to say to her.  And then, it just came tumbling out of my mouth that, "I'm excited to be here with you, because you and Raven were my intro to Drag Race." And we were laughing and I was grinning like an idiot. And I

got a kiss on the lips from her.  And then it was time to go.  And, I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me.

Overall, it was a great night.


On the way out to the car, my mom was talking about the show, and how she had had a good time.  And, Shaunna told me that while I was snapping pictures of Juju during the show, my mom had said that she was a little disappointed.  Because Shaunna is more of a performer than Jujubee is, my mom had the expectation that Juju would be a dance-y performer as well.  So, that was a little disappointing for my mom.  But, she had a great time overall.

'Cause We Need A Little Controversy

When I was a kid, the idea of Political Correctness was just coming to fruition.  It's goal was to make things "safer." Nobody would feel left out.  Nobody would feel bullied, or picked on.  And, we would all be able to get along.  But, somewhere along the way, things got a little out of hand.  See HERE and HERE for some examples of what I'm talking about.

Since the late '80's and early '90's, political correctness has become yet another way of whitewashing freedom of speech to the point, where we might as well all be speaking jibberish to each other, because honestly, if you're different (in any way shape or form, you're going to get some flack for it).

Over the past few months, there has been a huge push to bring the PC agenda to the Transgender forefront. Gabourey Sidibe came under fire for use of the term "tranny" on a late night TV show, and was asked to make a retraction to apologize for what she had said.  Katie Couric came under fire, after asking Carmen Carerra if she'd (my words, not Katie's) "had the chop."  And, most recently, Logo TV and RuPaul have come under fire, for using the terms "She-Male" and "Tranny".

While I understand, from doing the type of work that I do (direct care of people with mental and or physical disabilities) the importance of keeping things PC, I have an issue with the forum that the sudden venom from the Trans-community has begun spewing.  I understand how hurtful words can be, and I have a few of my own words that I would spew venom at people for using (for the record, they're pansy, faggot and homosexual). Ask me in comments if you'd like to hear more about the reasoning behind those words...
Both the terms, "she-male" and "tranny" run rampant, with other words, in the porn industry, and because of their strong association with that industry, it makes it harder for people who are not porn stars, who ARE transgender to be taken seriously.  And, I get that that's what the fight it about. It's about being respected, and not being treated like a third class citizen.  Because, let's face it, even the gay community bashes on the trans community...

I can't give RuPaul full credit for bringing the trans community to the forefront of people's minds, because she doesn't deserve full credit.  There are plenty of other people who deserve as much, if not more credit for the sudden "visibility."  But, Ru's show is the catalyst for the post, so I want to talk about it for a little bit.  Over the six season the show has been on the air, Ru has cast transgendered people.  She has given them the chance to tell their stories, and given them a public forum to show that they're still people, who love, laugh, and hurt, just like everyone else.

So, why now?  Why if it's such an issue of disrespect, was this not brought to Logo's attention during season one?  I mean, really, the introduction of every week's challenge since the first season, has been, "Wooooo, Gurl....You've got she-mail."   Why was this not squashed during any of the previous 5 seasons?  Because, it was seen as a play on words.  Drag Race, is a tongue in cheek show.  The shoe that dropped, and apparently hit RuPaul and Logo in the face, was the Female or She-Male segment.  In a forum like Drag Race, you're always going to wonder, upon seeing a random body part that looks like a (cisgender) biological female, is it a biological female or not?  Because, let's face it, some of these drag queens are prettier looking than some of the women I know.  So, throwing a game like that in makes sense to me.  But, as has come up in many of the comments in articles that I've read online about the controversy, I am not trans.  I don't know what it's like to be trans.  And, I didn't feel disrespected by the choice of words used.

Could they have been (in Carmen Carerra's words) "a little smarter about the terms they use"? Definitely.  We all could be a bit smarter about the terms that we use, so that we don't disrespect anyone, or make them feel like they're less than us.  These terms are going to be taken out of my every day vocabulary, like so many other words have been.  But, at the same time, I just have to put it out there: I know people who are transgender, who refer to themselves as trannies.  So, while I get that the fight is an overall, general fight for acceptance, I don't want to forget those in the minority, who may or may not think that the entire fight over whether Ru removed a few words and/or a segment from the show, is a waste of energy, because, is it really worth that much of a fight?  Because, let's face it, this is still top news, and this all came to a head over a month ago.  We're spending an awful lot of time and energy fighting over something, that was brought to the network's attention, has been removed from the program, and all future airings of the program.  What more needs to be done?  What more is there to fight about that hasn't already been done?

Let me go back to watching my show.  You know, the one with a bunch of men, who dress up in dresses and make-up, and ultimately, make fun of each other, until one of them gets a crown?  The one that now says, "Woooo Gurl...." that is always going to be finished with the unmentionable words in my head, because they're a staple of the show. Let the controversy be over something else, like how Darienne Lake needs to be a little nicer, before she follows Roxxxy Andrews' route to a downfall, or how Joselyn Fox has worn the same necklace in every episode this season...  Let's get back to the fun Monday night opportunity to forget that crappy stuff happens in the real world, because there's drag queens taking over the tv.

Covergirl Doesn't Cover Boy

Imagine walking into a room full of people you know, and realizing that you don't know them.

So, I've already written about the show on Saturday, at Hollywood Casino in Bangor.  And, I may be doing this a bit backwards, but, it's my blog, and I can write about what I want to, in whatever order I want to.  Really, I thought that the tribute to Topaz was a bit more important, than what it's like to watch a group of queens and kings paint for a show.

So, anyway, back to the hook.  Imagine that you've just walked into a room full of people that you know, only to realize that you don't know them.  It's a weird sensation.  Like, really, really weird.  You recognize the bodies before the faces, because normally the face that you're looking at, has a boatload of makeup on it. You hear the voice that you know, coming out of someone else's face.  It's jarring.  And, then, after a few minutes, of gathering yourself, you relax and just go with it.  Because, you know, that even though they look different, they're the same person.  I've lived with two queens for almost a year, so I know that there's always going to be a tiny bit of "WTF?" going on in my head.

The greetings start, and the catching up starts.  And, suddenly, it's all normal.  And then, the makeup makes its appearance.  If you've never seen the transformation from man to woman, I would recommend taking the opportunity if it ever presents itself.

You would think that living with two drag queens, I would have seen more than enough faces being painted.  Surprisingly, in the (almost) year and a half that I've been with Dan, I've only watched the full process four times.  Why have I only watched it a few times?  Part of it is that I tend to stare.  Which makes everyone uncomfortable.  And, part of it, is that I don't really want to know how it's done. It's more magical to just think that the queen goes into a room as a male, and comes out as a female.  You know, the whole caterpillar to a butterfly thing.  'Cause really, who wants to see what kind of scariness that transformation looks like?

It's interesting to see though, how each person "paints" differently.  For some, there's very little on the face, but, a ton of eye makeup.  For others, it's a lot all over the face.  And, for others, it's layer upon layer of makeup.  Foundation, highlights, shadows, contouring around the nose, cheek bones, and jawline, and then the eyes and lips.  Powder, powder, powder.  Contacts go in.  Mistakes get wiped off with baby wipes.

And, all the while, they're talking.  A lot of talk about the old times.  About back when this performer did this.  About how, "I remember back before you even started doing drag..." There's talk about which performers have sticky fingers, and, "How do they expect to get away with wearing that wig that they swiped, around here, knowing full well that everyone knows that they took it?"

Watching RuPaul's Drag Race, last season, with Alyssa Edwards and Coco Montrese, you kind of got the expectation that everyone was always at each other's throats.  Comments about how, "Gurl, look how orange you look!" are what you'd expect after watching the show.  As I sat and watched them all painting, there were certain people who I looked at like, "That color's way too dark for your skin." and things like that.  But, since nobody else was saying anything, I didn't figure it was my place.  Because, it's not. What do I know about makeup? I don't do drag. I just observe. I take it all in, and then write about it later.

And, just like that, the room goes from being a room with six men and a woman, to one king and six queens.  And, you're left wondering, how did super long drawn on eyelash lines, turn into a realistic looking eye? And, how did those sheet white highlights turn out to look natural?  And, how did that grease pencil turn into a beard full of stubble?

The truth of the matter, is that I don't really want to know all the tips and tricks that it takes to turn out a good face.  Once I know all of the pieces of putting it on, it'll lose it's magic for me.  Knowing all the secrets of drag, would take away from the experience for me.  It would be like taking in The Lord of The Rings series, and sitting through the entire 4 years of CGI creation, instead of the final 2 hour movie.  You don't need to know each step that it took over those 4 years to create that scene with 50,000 goblins, in a roller coaster of a cave. You just need to know that the 2 1/2 minutes of filming is amazing.  You don't need to know that it takes an hour and a half to put on a face, you just need to know that the face was put on for the 10 minutes or so that the performer's on stage, doing his or her thing.

I think what really surprised me the most, aside from how different they all look out of drag, was how close knit this little community is.  Everyone has known everyone for years.  They all know (more or less) everyone else's business.  And, they're like a family.  More like my actual family, than I ever would have expected.  They go long periods without seeing each other, but, thanks to Facebook, and other social media outlets, they keep up with what's going on.  And, they just pick up, and continue with conversations. And, they all say, "Oh, we should do this more often, instead of just when something bad happens."  In the moment, the sentiment is heartfelt, and everyone agrees.  But, with everyone's busy schedules, they know that it's pretty much just something that you say, because you can, not because it will actually change anything.

And, I really just need to thank all the queens who let me be a part of the process.  Being the odd one out, they could just as easily have sent me out to sit in the hallway the entire time, or sent me to the slot machines, to lose every penny that I have to my name.  But, they didn't.  And, they all know that I write the blog.  So, thank you to all of the queens and king who allowed me to be a part of the show that not many other people got to see.