A Case of Serendipity

Amber
Photo by: Lauren Kennedy

It's not often that I can say that I made something happen. Or, that I can say I was  in the right place, at the right time. But, just this once, it was a case of both.

As I'm sure you're aware, if you read the blog on a regular basis, I'm addicted to Facebook. I check it when I wake up, I check it before I go to sleep. And, I'm on it for hours, during the day...and more on days off from work.

It was one of these days off, before Christmas, that I made a serendipitous discovery on Facebook. I belong to a group called Queer Exchange Maine, where the LGBTQIA community posts things for sale or that they are in search of, similar to Craigslist, only "gayer." On this particular day, a mother had posted asking if anyone knew of any "LGBT friendly" photographers in the Portland area, who would help her daughter start a modeling portfolio. Immediately, I thought of Lauren Kennedy and Jason Poulin, both, who have done portraits of Shaunna Rai, and both, whom I look up to artistically. So I put the names out there.

Right off the camera, with no touching up
Amber looked amazing.  Photo by Jen Morrow
of the photo by Lauren Kennedy.

Shortly afterward, there was a question about hair stylists and makeup artists. Obviously, I needed to make sure that Dan's (Shaunna Rai) name was thrown in the mix. Dan has done makeup for brides, as well as his own for drag, and helping create Jacinda. And, it was a situation where we had recently discussed that he wants to be a Real Housewives makeup artist. So, I wanted him to get this, mote than anything. Put his name in the running,  and hoped and waited.

Sure enough, that night, he told me that he was being booked with Lauren to do the photo shoot. I ended up designing a gift certificate for him to send to the mother, so that Amber would have it for a Christmas gift.

It wasn't until shortly after that, that I realized how big a deal this shoot was going to be. It wasn't until Dan and Amber started discussing looks for the shoot, that it dawned on me that Amber is trans. (I feel like the mom, Jen, said it initially in the post, but, I overlooked that fact, because it was unimportant to me.)

Initially, I had planned to drop Dan off at Lauren's and leave. I didn't want to make anybody uncomfortable, since I had really had no contact with Jen or Amber. And, I didn't want to be the weird quiet guy in the corner making everything uncomfortable. (I still feel like I was, but Lauren's mom (Kellie) and Jen helped draw me out of my shell a bit.)

I realize at this point, you're probably thinking, "Jesus, Steve, you're making this all about you."  And, to a certain degree, you would be right.  Because, in a small way, I made this happen.  And, I feel that I have the right to claim my stake in all of this.  It's not selfishness, it's just a backstory, so that you can understand how this all came to be.

Lauren shooting Amber through a ring light.
Photo by Kellie Smith.

When Jen and Amber arrived, I introduced myself, as the guy who made it happen.  Lauren, who I met last year, and haven't seen in forever, said a quick hi to me, and complimented me on my improvements in photography (quite frankly, I forget sometimes that people actually pay attention to what I post on Facebook.)  And, then, it became all about Amber.  As, rightfully, it should be.

Without going into a ton of detail, because I want to be respectful of Amber's life, and privacy, I want to bring attention to a few things.  Amber began transitioning at 16 (I think that's what Jen said).  She has had a very rough transition, and at one point, almost stopped.  She was bullied, and was even harassed by the police.  She never even had Senior pictures done.  So, Jen wanted to do something amazing for Amber, and give her a chance to be beautiful.  This was an opportunity for Amber to be in a safe space, and be herself, and be pretty.  (Honestly, she didn't need the makeup and hair styling for that, because she really is a beautiful person without it.)  Jen explained to us, while Amber was smoking, how difficult it was for her (Amber) to even leave the house to come to the photo shoot, because Dan had asked her to not wear makeup before coming to the shoot.  I hadn't even thought about what that would be like for her.  But, as I'm coming to understand, for some trans women, the makeup is the war paint that makes it bearable to face the world and all the horrible stuff that it throws at you.

Amber's Hypodermic Sally look
Photo by: Lauren Kennedy

Dan got Amber into the chair, and started working his magic.  I watched, and kind of got pulled into the process.  Although, I was watching from the back, so couldn't see any of what he was actually doing to her face.  He finally announced that he was almost done.  He just had to put on the lips, and everyone wanted to see what he was doing.  When Jen saw what Dan had done with makeup, she teared up.  Taking Amber's already present beauty, and magnifying it, was too much to contain the emotion.  

That was when we heard that Amber had never had senior pictures taken.  That was when Jen started talking about a support group that she is a part of for parents of trans kids, online.  It was when she started to really open up about how Amber wasn't the only one who had transitioned, and that the entire family had transitioned along with her.  Jen talked about how, with the visibility brought about by Jazz Jennings and Caitlyn Jenner, via reality tv shows, there was nothing on tv, showing the middle ground... No television shows show the transition of a 20-something, in a mostly unaccepting state.  No shows have actually shown that it takes time to go through the transition...because Caitlyn just decided and within a year, Bruce had become Caitlyn.  No shows have shown the struggle of a trans youth trying to get a job, and being turned down, because their physical identity didn't match that of their state ID.  Nothing has shown the middle class family who wiped out their entire retirement savings to help their daughter transition, so that she could be comfortable in her own skin.

That, above all else, was what this shoot was about.  This shoot was to make Amber feel comfortable with her body, her look, and make her realize that she is beautiful, inside and out.  

After Dan was finished, fixing lashes, putting on lip tar, and a couple of last minute touch ups, Dan, Lauren and Amber went into the garage. I stayed in with the moms. Lauren's mom was trying to get me to eat, like every parent does. I felt bad explaining why I was avoiding most of the food, because of thr gluten. And, then she pulled some amazing bread balls out of the oven and I proceeded to eat almost half of the pan by myself. Jen, Amber's mom, talked to us about how when Amber transitioned, it was not only her transition, but that of the whole family. She talked about the work that she tries to do in educating people about transgender people. She talked about how companies don't allow a person to transition on their health care plans, and how work is being done to make it so that eventually,  or will be covered.

When they came back inside, Lauren showed off the first round of pictures to Jen. The pride and love in her face I will never forget. After an outfit change, Lauren started taking some pictures inside. She did very little direction, because it was almost as if Amber had been modeling for ages, and instinctively knew what to do. 

Amber went out for another cigarette, and Lauren took some pictures of her on the deck, smoking. Watching Amber move, I was struck by just how graceful she is. Her look, mannerisms and movement very much brought to mind Eddie Redmayne's portrayal of Lili Elbe.   A fact that was not lost on Dan, as he actually mentioned it to me and Amber.

They came back inside to take more pictures, and the photographer in me saw a different angle of what Lauren was seeing. I almost wished that I had brought my camera along. Because if the positioning of the lighting, I had a hard time seeing what Lauren was taking for pictures. (I was behind the box light, so it blocked everything out.) So, I noticed that I could see a reflection in the microwave. I kept looking at the microwave,  to the point that Lauren's mom asked me if I needed to heat something...until I explained to her why I was actually looking at it. 

It was amazing watching Dan and Lauren work together too. They were totally on the same wavelength. Lauren would start to say, "Can you fix..." And Dan would fix it, without Lauren finishing the thought. That is, if she even got the chance to say something.

Amber
Photo by: Lauren Kennedy

In what seemed like no time, the shoot was wrapping up. It was hard to believe that it had been 5 hours-ish. I ended up adding Lauren's mom Kellie and Jen on Facebook. (I added Amber after the fact, because I still felt a little like I was just the weird guy in the corner.)

I was super excited when Lauren finally posted a couple of the photos from the shoot. I was bummed to see that one of the ones I adored wasn't part of the released pictures. I had seen on the camera a profile picture of Amber blowing smoke, from the garage pictures. (But, Lauren is amazing and definitely knows what she's doing. So, it might just not have been up to her standards.)

I won't forget the shoot, and I was so glad that I didn't end up leaving. I learned so much about what it's like for a family to transition along with the trans person. I had a ton of respect for Jen and her husband, for the amount of love that they have for Amber. 

I would love to get more involved in groups like Jen is, both to educate myself and others on trans issues, even if they don't directly effect me. I never want to see anyone feel like they shouldn't belong, because society can't or won't see how beautiful and special they are. Everyone has a story, and these stories need to be told. Not everyone is a TLC or E! reality TV star, but that doesn't make their voices any less valid. 

I think, because of the nature of the shoot, it was important for everyone there, although for vastly different reasons. And the most important reason, was Amber, herself. I hope she felt as beautiful as she is. And, I hope she sees the beauty that the rest of us saw, in herself.

The Danish Girl

When I initially heard that Eddie Redmayne would be playing a transgender woman, and that before the movie was even released, there was talk of him winning an Oscar for his portrayal of the artist Lili Elbe, I was intrigued.  And, more so the first time I saw a picture of him in drag for the role.

Obviously, I was going into this superficially, because everything that I've seen him in, I've liked.  I knew nothing about the actual story of Lili Elbe.  (I feel like I'd heard the name, and probably had seen her work in art school.) So, the movie itself, was a teaching moment for me, both in terms of art history, and a historic moment in transgender, medical and sexual history.

It's very difficult to talk about what happens in the movie, without first giving a spoiler alert...although, a tiny bit of Googling will give you all the information that you need to know about Einar Wegener, Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener.

Eddie Redmayne as Einar Wegener, in one of the most

important scenes in the movie (in my opinion).

Einar Wegener and his wife Gerda were both painters in Denmark in the 1920's.  In the early part of the movie, we see that Einar has a flourishing career, while Gerda is struggling to have her paintings displayed.  Gerda asks Einar to pose in place of a model who had cancelled on her.  He agrees to pose, with a dress, although, he won't put it on.  And, in one of the most poignant moments in the film, he sees that Lili (who has always been inside him) could become a reality. While holding the dress up, wearing shoes and stockings, he runs his finger over the fabric of the dress, in such a way, that you almost see it dawning on him, that Lili has awakened. Gerda actually puts him in face for the first time, for a party, and things go from there.  Lili eventually becomes a muse for Gerda, and the tables turn.  Gerda becomes the one with a career, and Einar/Lili struggle to find a balance and figure out "What is wrong" with Einar.

Gerda's agent recommends that Einar see a doctor, who may be able to help.  And, for the first time, the idea of Lili taking over Einar's life, becomes a reality.  Magnus Hirschfeld (whose name I recognized from Season 2 of Transparent) was the doctor responsible for the first surgery. 

(According to the movie he was also responsible for the subsequent surgeries, as well...although, everything I've seen elsewhere, says otherwise.)  Whether the movie, or the book it's based on are historically accurate, or not, it was an amazing movie. 

Einar Wegener (l.) and Lili Elbe (r.)

Lili Elbe was one of (if not THE) first people to undergo a sex reassignment surgery.  Given the timeline of the 1920-30's this was amazing.  (Especially, given the fact that the first surgery that I knew of, previous to this, was Christine Jorgensen's in the 1950's.) 

Now that I've seen the movie, my next goal is to read the book.  Because, the book is always better than the movie.  Although, despite all the flack that it got for putting yet another cis-gender male in the part of a transgender female, I don't really have a lot of issues with it. 

****Spoiler****

While it was groundbreaking enough, to have had the sex reassignment surgery, to begin with, the story that was not told fully in the movie, was of the final surgery, that ultimately killed Lili.  While Einar was born male, Lili fully wished, after her transition to be able to bear children.  And, the doctor who performed the surgery was trying to fulfill her wishes.  What ultimately lead to the death of Lili Elbe was her body rejecting a uterine transplant.  And, unfortunately, the movie itself fell into the old prophecy of death, by the repeated uttering of the phrases, "Everything will be ok," and "She'll be fine."  The minute they started those phrases, I knew that she was a goner, and that I was going to be left feeling like it was all for nothing.

As with anything that I watch with transgender characters, it left me with a lot more questions that I don't know how to ask, or if I'll ever get answers for.  The biggest being: "What is it like to be in a relationship with someone, when they begin to transition?", "What does a spouse of a trans person feel in the initial moment when they state that they want to begin transitioning?"  and, "What amount of surgery does it take, for a trans person to feel like they have fully transitioned?"

I can only imagine that the answers to all of those questions widely vary, based on the people involved.  And, the only reason I have the questions, is because I'm very much interested in educating myself.  With the number of people I know who are trans, you would think that I would just ask point blank, but, I don't want to be offensive with the amount that I don't know, by asking things that are inappropriate.  But, for all the answers that the movie gave me, it left me with more questions.  (The funniest being whether or not Eddie Redmayne was a dancer, because throughout the movie, he walked very gracefully, both as Einar and as Lily, like a dancer.)

So, if you haven't seen it, you should.  It's a great movie.  Educational, beautiful, and heartbreaking.

Op-ed: Who Are You, to Have an Opinion?

I want to preface by saying I may be offensive in this post. I do not intend to be, but as it is my opinion, I have the right to feel how I feel, as do you. If you agree or disagree, let me know in the comments. Start a dialogue, because without it, nothing will ever change.

2015 has been a big year for the LGBT community. Marriage has been made legal for same sex couples, nationwide, and in other countries. Laws are being written to include protections for all people, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. And, trans issues have come out in a big way, with the outing and subsequent emergence of Caitlyn Jenner.
These are all amazing things, and as a whole, we should be happy that progress is being made.

However, (and this is where it gets tricky to not be totally pc, and sugarcoat everything) there is dissent between the LGB's and the T's. There is a difference between having an opinion and forcing your opinion on the rest of humanity.

The last 24 hours have not been good for the USM Royal Majesty Ball.

For a drag show that raises money for LGBT causes, through a sold out show every year, one would think that every part of the community would be glad for the event. However, it happens to fall on Transgender Day of Remembrance this year, November 20th. And with that announcement, all Hell broke loose.

In no way am I saying that TDoR is not important, because it is. The fact that for the last 16 years, the Trans community has banded together for a day to remember those who have been lost to murder or suicide just for being trans, is amazing. The Gay community doesn't even do that... So, yeah, it's a big deal, and super important.

Along with the date announcement, though, was an apology and discussion about trying to move the date.

Apparently, though, people who are in a tizzy over the date believe that it's simple to change the date of an event, when it's a delicate dance to get the venue and the performers booked in the first place, to then, go back and say, "Hey, I fucked up, can we move it to next week?" Venues usually book out quite a while in advance.  (Try to book a wedding somewhere, and then call back and say, "Well, that date actually won't work, can we move it back a week?" and see how kindly they agree to it...)

What started off as an honest discussion, quickly turned into an attack on anyone who had something to say. From, "Drag is distasteful and disrespectful to the trans people," to "I never liked drag anyway," to "This just furthers the idea that drag and trans are the same thing,  and nobody cares about how the trans community feels."  And, further turned to, "Well, if you're not trans, then you don't have any foot to stand on in this conversation, so stay out of it."

It takes a lot to make me angry, but, when the oppressed become the oppressors, and you tell me that I'm wrong to have feelings because I wasn't born as anything other than a cisgender white gay male, you've taken a step too far. I invite conversation, so long as it is constructive. And I would listen to anything said , even if I disagree, without saying, shut up, because you're not like me.  So, I got angry. And I fought back.

The truth of the matter,  is whether it's this or something else, the LGBT community as a whole doesn't function well. Nobody is willing to listen to anyone else, because, "they're not like us." And, this is precisely what is going to tear us apart, and break down progress for future generations.

Give people time to make amends. Understand that it was an innocent oversight that caused this, to begin with. It was never meant to be an editorial on whether the trans people in Maine or anywhere matter. Trans people, like all people matter. In no way was it meant to happen, and it was not done with malicious intent.

But, damage has been done. Shaunna Rai was potentially going to be in the show. Now that true colors of some of the members of the community have been shown, she's appalled at the people who she has raised money for, for the last 23 years. Why keep raising money for people who don't want you around, because your very presence is offensive to them?

What nobody but me is seeing,  is a breakdown in our ability to coexist. We don't have to like each other. But, in a world where you can be killed for being trans, and just as easily for being gay, why continue to fight amongst ourselves.

This is about more than a drag show. This is about internal hatred, and homo/transphobia. And, taking it out on those who do so much to support the community,  be it gay, lesbian or trans, only hurts those who really need the support.  And the only way to resolve it, it to start talking, and listen to all sides before making a final decision on what is right, and wrong.

Let's take a page out of Caitlyn Jenner's play book, and get a number of differing opinions in one place, and hear them all out, before we make our own decisions on what we think.

It's not all about me. And, it's not all about you. It's about all of us working together to make our world a better, safer, friendlier, more accepting place for all of us.

#CallMeCaitlyn

Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair,
photographed by Annie Leibovitz

 Yesterday, the internet was broken.  And, it wasn't by Kim Kardashian.  Caitlyn Jenner's Vanity Fair shoot was released, and all the social media sites blew up with the news.

For anyone who may have been living under a rock, and doesn't watch the news, or know anything about the Kardashians, I'll give a brief rundown of why this is such an important story, and then I'll get into why I didn't post anything about it "in real time."

Caitlyn Jenner was formerly known as Bruce Jenner.  Bruce, (in case you don't know) was a gold medal winner, in the men's decathlon in 1976 in Montreal.  Bruce was also, for a number of years, married to Kris Jenner, the mother (momager) of the Kardashian clan.  In April, Bruce sat through an interview with Diane Sawyer, in which he announced that he was completing a transition into a woman.  Throughout the interview, he requested that media sources use the pronoun he, until he debuted "Her."

"She", Caitlyn, was finally revealed to the world, yesterday, and to an overwhelming amount of support.  While the majority of my Facebook feed was very supportive, there were a few people, here and there, who were less than supportive, and, occasionally, just mean.

When I first saw her, I was at work, and it was all I could do to not gasp, and say how amazing she looks.  Having watched the gradual transition through the show, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and the tabloids at the supermarket, I was actually shocked by the change.

Caitlyn Jenner, photographed by Annie Leibovitz

So, why is this such an important story?

Bruce Jenner is a name that is known to the majority of the world, for two vastly different reasons...  1.) He was an Olympic gold medalist. 2) He was the dad on Keeping up with the Kardashians.

Caitlyn Jenner is one of the first transgender people who many "average" people will "know."  (I don't discount any of the others who have paved the way for Caitlyn...Laverne Cox, Christine Jorgensen, etc.)  But, she has been public about the transition throughout it.  She also opened up about what life as a trans person is like, as a way of opening up conversation about trans issues.

The biggest thing that Caitlyn's debut did, was start sparking conversations that show just how far we have to go, in accepting all people.  For every 10, "You go girl," posts that came across my feed, there was probably 1, "Is anyone else over this whole Bruce Jenner thing?" And, every one of those "Who else is over this?", there were people coming out of the woodwork, in support of Caitlyn, explaining that I never expected.

Caitlyn is important, not because she "gives the gays a new cause," but because she gives a very public face to those dealing with gender dysmorphia, and transitioning.  She, whether she intended to or not, has made herself an advocate, for those who don't know how to advocate for themselves.  And, she has become a role model for a whole new generation.

Because of Caitlyn, people are going to learn when to use the proper pronouns, and why it's offensive not to.  People are going to make mistakes.  People are going to learn, through Caitlyn, much as they have through Laverne Cox and other trans people who have made a name for themselves, that they are not stereotypes.

And, the hope, for many people, is that with the very public transition, Caitlyn can help bring some attention to the issues that plague the trans community.  Suicide is one of the most prevalent issues, that needs to be addressed.  We have on average 41% of our trans community attempting suicide.  Trans people who don't kill themselves are also at a much higher risk of being murdered.  In 2012, 53% of LGBTQ murders were committed against transgender women...and 73% against non-white people.  If Caitlyn's "coming out" (of sorts) can help even just one or two young people choose not to end their lives...If her coming out can teach just one or two people that trans lives matter just as much as the rest of us...then, she will have done what is "expected" of her.

Caitlyn still has a long road of acceptance to go through herself.  And, I for one will be supporting her, every step of the way.

So, if I'm such a supporter, then why did I choose not to write immediately after having seen the photographs?  Well, for one, I was at work, so I didn't really have time to sit down and write out my thoughts.  Second, Caitlyn Jenner is a real person...and with the advent of the internet, it's possible that she could read it...and I wanted to have all my thoughts in order, so that I didn't come off like an ass...(like I did that time that Pandora Boxx read my blog in which I said that she wasn't one of my favorite performers that night, and commented on it.)  Along with that, I wanted to make sure that I had the right pronouns, and that I was being sensitive to what name I use when discussing the different parts of Caitlyn's former life.

I will be the first to admit that in spite of the fact that I actually have friends who are trans, that I know through the world of drag, I am pretty trans-ignorant.  So, I was also trying to be as respectful as I could to any of my friends who could potentially read this, and be offended.  If I have been at all offensive, in any way, PLEASE let me know.  I will re-edit and be more sensitive the next time I write anything about trans issues.  (Or if you, or anyone you know is trans and would like to help educate me with what is proper and what is offensive, I beg you to let me know...because I don't want to be known as that insensitive fuck who makes things up when he doesn't understand them to begin with.)

But, anyway, I will leave you with a quote from Caitlyn, that I think is important to end with...because, it's things like this, that will help people like me, and the rest of the general public, get educated.

"The uncomfortableness of being me never leaves me all day long. I’m not doing this to be interesting. I’m doing this to live … if I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself.’ And I don’t want that to happen."

'Cause We Need A Little Controversy

When I was a kid, the idea of Political Correctness was just coming to fruition.  It's goal was to make things "safer." Nobody would feel left out.  Nobody would feel bullied, or picked on.  And, we would all be able to get along.  But, somewhere along the way, things got a little out of hand.  See HERE and HERE for some examples of what I'm talking about.

Since the late '80's and early '90's, political correctness has become yet another way of whitewashing freedom of speech to the point, where we might as well all be speaking jibberish to each other, because honestly, if you're different (in any way shape or form, you're going to get some flack for it).

Over the past few months, there has been a huge push to bring the PC agenda to the Transgender forefront. Gabourey Sidibe came under fire for use of the term "tranny" on a late night TV show, and was asked to make a retraction to apologize for what she had said.  Katie Couric came under fire, after asking Carmen Carerra if she'd (my words, not Katie's) "had the chop."  And, most recently, Logo TV and RuPaul have come under fire, for using the terms "She-Male" and "Tranny".

While I understand, from doing the type of work that I do (direct care of people with mental and or physical disabilities) the importance of keeping things PC, I have an issue with the forum that the sudden venom from the Trans-community has begun spewing.  I understand how hurtful words can be, and I have a few of my own words that I would spew venom at people for using (for the record, they're pansy, faggot and homosexual). Ask me in comments if you'd like to hear more about the reasoning behind those words...
Both the terms, "she-male" and "tranny" run rampant, with other words, in the porn industry, and because of their strong association with that industry, it makes it harder for people who are not porn stars, who ARE transgender to be taken seriously.  And, I get that that's what the fight it about. It's about being respected, and not being treated like a third class citizen.  Because, let's face it, even the gay community bashes on the trans community...

I can't give RuPaul full credit for bringing the trans community to the forefront of people's minds, because she doesn't deserve full credit.  There are plenty of other people who deserve as much, if not more credit for the sudden "visibility."  But, Ru's show is the catalyst for the post, so I want to talk about it for a little bit.  Over the six season the show has been on the air, Ru has cast transgendered people.  She has given them the chance to tell their stories, and given them a public forum to show that they're still people, who love, laugh, and hurt, just like everyone else.

So, why now?  Why if it's such an issue of disrespect, was this not brought to Logo's attention during season one?  I mean, really, the introduction of every week's challenge since the first season, has been, "Wooooo, Gurl....You've got she-mail."   Why was this not squashed during any of the previous 5 seasons?  Because, it was seen as a play on words.  Drag Race, is a tongue in cheek show.  The shoe that dropped, and apparently hit RuPaul and Logo in the face, was the Female or She-Male segment.  In a forum like Drag Race, you're always going to wonder, upon seeing a random body part that looks like a (cisgender) biological female, is it a biological female or not?  Because, let's face it, some of these drag queens are prettier looking than some of the women I know.  So, throwing a game like that in makes sense to me.  But, as has come up in many of the comments in articles that I've read online about the controversy, I am not trans.  I don't know what it's like to be trans.  And, I didn't feel disrespected by the choice of words used.

Could they have been (in Carmen Carerra's words) "a little smarter about the terms they use"? Definitely.  We all could be a bit smarter about the terms that we use, so that we don't disrespect anyone, or make them feel like they're less than us.  These terms are going to be taken out of my every day vocabulary, like so many other words have been.  But, at the same time, I just have to put it out there: I know people who are transgender, who refer to themselves as trannies.  So, while I get that the fight is an overall, general fight for acceptance, I don't want to forget those in the minority, who may or may not think that the entire fight over whether Ru removed a few words and/or a segment from the show, is a waste of energy, because, is it really worth that much of a fight?  Because, let's face it, this is still top news, and this all came to a head over a month ago.  We're spending an awful lot of time and energy fighting over something, that was brought to the network's attention, has been removed from the program, and all future airings of the program.  What more needs to be done?  What more is there to fight about that hasn't already been done?

Let me go back to watching my show.  You know, the one with a bunch of men, who dress up in dresses and make-up, and ultimately, make fun of each other, until one of them gets a crown?  The one that now says, "Woooo Gurl...." that is always going to be finished with the unmentionable words in my head, because they're a staple of the show. Let the controversy be over something else, like how Darienne Lake needs to be a little nicer, before she follows Roxxxy Andrews' route to a downfall, or how Joselyn Fox has worn the same necklace in every episode this season...  Let's get back to the fun Monday night opportunity to forget that crappy stuff happens in the real world, because there's drag queens taking over the tv.

Fact Finding Mission...

Back in the days BDS (Before Dan and Shaunna) I ran a little webcomic, called Got Pride? It was an homage to everything queer that I could come up with. And, a story about my family life...more or less. I did very little research into some of the stuff that I tackled. One of the unfinished, unresolved stories that I started was the transitioning of a transgendered character.  Why was it unfinished? Well, for the most part, I don't know what it's like to be transgendered.  Nor did I know anyone who identified as transgendered, who I could ask, in order to do some research, and actually get the story right.

I may take that story back up someday.  I just need to find some people who I can collaborate with, to get it right.  Because, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot more to the story than just deciding one day as a woman that you're going to go to CVS, buy hair clippers, hair dye, and men's clothes, and boom, you're a man. I've heard that it's an easier transition than the transition from male to female, but, still.  I handled it ignorantly, and then wrote the character off, because I knew I didn't know, what I didn't know.

That being said, with the successful interest in the drawings that I have been doing on commissions, it got me back in the mindset of, I want to tell a story.  But, I don't want it to be my story.  I want it to be the story of a drag queen.  Or a group of queens.  It'll tell about what it's like to be a boy, and a girl, without having to deal with all the stresses of telling the transition story...at least at first.  Because as I've noticed throughout my year living with Dan, the transgender community is intertwined with that of the drag community. (And, yes, I'm still quite ignorant about the trans community, so I'm going to get things wrong, and apologize in advance.)

What I decided this time though, is that I need to do my research first.  I want to know the experience of being a drag queen, through a drag queen's eyes. (And, if any transgendered people want to help me research their side of things, I'd love to hear that as well.)  So, I've come up with a list of questions that I'm hoping will help me get some answers that will help me decide if I really can go through with the comic/graphic novel about drag life.  As of now, it's all still in planning.  No set characters, no storyline (as such), just an idea in my head that I need help figuring out how to best get it on paper.

So, the list of questions, in no particular order:

How did you get your start in drag?
How did you get your drag name?
What is your favorite part of doing drag?
Queens tend to get categorized (ie. Comedy, Club Kid, Pageant Queen) What category do you consider yourself to be?
Have you ever experienced stage fright while performing? How did you overcome it?
Have you ever won any titles/awards?
Tell me about some of your (good or bad) backstage experiences with other queens.
Do you do your own hair, makeup, costuming? Or do you have help with some or all of the above?
Tell me about a memorable adventure that you've had that you would not have had if not for drag.
When you're out of drag, what do you do? (ie. Work, fun,etc.)
Tell me anything else that you think might be important for me to know to get inside the head of a drag queen.

If you feel like answering these questions, I greatly appreciate your answers.  You can leave comments below, or email me, Steve at swd8880@yahoo.com. I will also be posting this on Facebook, so answers can be shot to me through my like page, or through my inbox.