Where were the gay blogs and the gay media when I was coming out? It was a huge event. It was such a big thing that I even hired my mom to keep the secret from my dad. She failed miserably, but, it worked out okay for me in the long run. Everything that I feared was going to happen didn't come to fruition. But, I digress.
Over the weekend, Colton Haynes, who has been on Teen Wolf, and Arrow, made a comment on his Tumblr page, that has people reading into it that he has officially come out of the closet. However, unlike most celebrities that came out in the last couple of years, basically, jumping out of the closet with trumpets and confetti guns, Colton just said, "It was secret?"
And, with that, things took off. Either people were like, "OMG, He's so hot, I knew he had to be gay." Or, they went the other route and "It took you long enough. If you're really gay, you should just say it. It's your moral obligation to do so."
To the ones saying, "It's your moral obligation," I say, "Says who?"
The truth is, it's nobody's business, unless he's sleeping with them, to know what his sexuality is. No celebrity has to tell the world that they're a homosexual...because no straight celebrity announces to the world, "I'm heterosexual, and I like to do the missionary position with my opposite sex partner."
I understand the reasoning behind thinking that there is some kind of obligation to young fans, who may be in the closet...but the truth of the matter is that, there are already a ton of good LGBT role models for these young people. Jazz Jennings, Laverne Cox, Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Bomer, Lea DeLaria, Ian Harvie, Jim Parsons, and so many others. Each of these people, have, in their own time come out of their varied closet types. They had no obligation to though.
Nobody cared about it when I came out. Nobody still cares. Most people know before I even tell them. Being gay is part of who I am. It doesn't define me completely. And, there is absolutely no reason why anyone should feel obligated to come out. If you choose to come out publicly, and take up the cause, good for you! We wouldn't be where we are in terms of activism, and what have you, without the pioneers. But, not everyone is going to pick up the mantle, and fight for whatever it is that we're fighting for these days.
The LGBT community can be very much fickle toward our own people. There is a huge amount of discrimination among our own community. How many times have I heard, "No fats, No Fems' used? or "You wouldn't understand, being that you're cis, after all." What we really need to do is start looking at ourselves. Before we start demanding that our celebrities make their sex lives public record, how about we start demanding of ourselves that we take care of our aging population, and make sure that our older neighbors are going to make it without having to resort to skipping their medications and eating dog food because it's cheaper, so they can heat their home during the winter? How about we start being kind to each other?
The truth of the matter, is that it doesn't matter if Colton Haynes is gay or not. The media has picked up on it, and turned it into a discussion. Yes, there are photos out there, that prove that at one time, he posed as a model for gay oriented photos. But, that doesn't mean that it's a "Secret Gay Past." It means he was a model. Yes, he has done drag for the past two Halloweens...and looked really good, as the characters he was costumed as. But, Drag doesn't make you a homo either. If in fact he was giving a quick, "Yeah, I'm gay, so what," I congratulate him, and welcome him with open arms. (Literally, Colton, if we ever meet, I want a hug.) But, he's more than just a label.
I know that people will probably disagree with me, and I encourage you to have the discussion with me, either in comments here, or on the facebook page. Explain to me why there is a moral obligation for celebrities to come out publicly. Especially, if they haven't really ever denied that they were in the closet to begin with.
Over the weekend, Colton Haynes, who has been on Teen Wolf, and Arrow, made a comment on his Tumblr page, that has people reading into it that he has officially come out of the closet. However, unlike most celebrities that came out in the last couple of years, basically, jumping out of the closet with trumpets and confetti guns, Colton just said, "It was secret?"
And, with that, things took off. Either people were like, "OMG, He's so hot, I knew he had to be gay." Or, they went the other route and "It took you long enough. If you're really gay, you should just say it. It's your moral obligation to do so."
To the ones saying, "It's your moral obligation," I say, "Says who?"
The truth is, it's nobody's business, unless he's sleeping with them, to know what his sexuality is. No celebrity has to tell the world that they're a homosexual...because no straight celebrity announces to the world, "I'm heterosexual, and I like to do the missionary position with my opposite sex partner."
I understand the reasoning behind thinking that there is some kind of obligation to young fans, who may be in the closet...but the truth of the matter is that, there are already a ton of good LGBT role models for these young people. Jazz Jennings, Laverne Cox, Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Bomer, Lea DeLaria, Ian Harvie, Jim Parsons, and so many others. Each of these people, have, in their own time come out of their varied closet types. They had no obligation to though.
Nobody cared about it when I came out. Nobody still cares. Most people know before I even tell them. Being gay is part of who I am. It doesn't define me completely. And, there is absolutely no reason why anyone should feel obligated to come out. If you choose to come out publicly, and take up the cause, good for you! We wouldn't be where we are in terms of activism, and what have you, without the pioneers. But, not everyone is going to pick up the mantle, and fight for whatever it is that we're fighting for these days.
The LGBT community can be very much fickle toward our own people. There is a huge amount of discrimination among our own community. How many times have I heard, "No fats, No Fems' used? or "You wouldn't understand, being that you're cis, after all." What we really need to do is start looking at ourselves. Before we start demanding that our celebrities make their sex lives public record, how about we start demanding of ourselves that we take care of our aging population, and make sure that our older neighbors are going to make it without having to resort to skipping their medications and eating dog food because it's cheaper, so they can heat their home during the winter? How about we start being kind to each other?
The truth of the matter, is that it doesn't matter if Colton Haynes is gay or not. The media has picked up on it, and turned it into a discussion. Yes, there are photos out there, that prove that at one time, he posed as a model for gay oriented photos. But, that doesn't mean that it's a "Secret Gay Past." It means he was a model. Yes, he has done drag for the past two Halloweens...and looked really good, as the characters he was costumed as. But, Drag doesn't make you a homo either. If in fact he was giving a quick, "Yeah, I'm gay, so what," I congratulate him, and welcome him with open arms. (Literally, Colton, if we ever meet, I want a hug.) But, he's more than just a label.
I know that people will probably disagree with me, and I encourage you to have the discussion with me, either in comments here, or on the facebook page. Explain to me why there is a moral obligation for celebrities to come out publicly. Especially, if they haven't really ever denied that they were in the closet to begin with.
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