I'm Bringing Lobster Back, Yeah...

Shaunna Rai performs a Pink
mix.

One of my favorite events that Shaunna Rai does is a private party for Zumba at Point Sebago.  Of all the many events that she does, this one is probably the most relaxed of them all.

I missed out on a good portion of last year's event, so I made sure to put in for it this time.

Coming down off the Pride! Portland Launch party the night before, I was a little bit dragging (no pun intended). I had a half finished album of pictures to post, and add the rest to. I did that while waiting for Dan to pack Shaunna's bags, so I could load the car.

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do, as when it was time to go, we still needed gas for the trip to Point Sebago. So, a conversation was had about how I should've been filling the gas tank instead of playing games on the computer.

Prodigy Diamond

Finally, we were on the road. I was texting back and forth with Prodigy Diamond,  as she was going to meet us,  and follow us to Point Sebago.  We got there, checked in and dropped our stuff in the rooms we were staying in.

The fun began then. We walked the grounds, stopping by a few of the Zumba classes. We said hi to Dinah, who hires the girls for this show every year. A few of the other ladies who I have met over the last three years came over to say hi and tell us that they couldn't wait for the show. (And, as usual, with this event, they're looking for me to also be a performer, not just a boring old photographer.)

Miss E,on and The Loophole.

We got lunch, and the lady who two years ago, basically told the girls that they would not be able to stay in drag after their performances,  because it would make people uncomfortable,  came over and was real friendly. Lunch was a barbecue buffet...burgers, hot dogs and BBQ chicken. And with my gluten free diet, I was still hungry after I ate, because a) no bread or dessert,  and b) I didn't want to eat all the food there and have other people go hungry.

After lunch, we headed back to the big house on the island to relax for a bit. On the walk back, discussion turned to why a former performer was not there, and then, to how much fun the evening was going to be.

We got back to the house, and at 2pm, Prodigy started getting her face on, even though the show didn't start until 8. I went on a cigarette run, to the general store, and returned empty-handed, because they didn't have the right cigarettes. So, I took the car, and went for a drive, to find cigarettes.

Shaunna Rai and Joyce share a quick twirl
during Proud Mary.

At the time, I just needed to get out for a bit. But, looking back, a couple days after the fact, I needed to go to try to regain some semblance of calm. With the amount of flack that I got in the morning, and then again after the aborted cigarette mission, and then just for stating that I was taking the car for a bit, I was angry. And, I needed to do something that I haven't done in forever, and just go for a drive to clear my head.

When I got back with food (I'd grabbed a couple of snacky things and eaten them on the way back to Point Sebago, from Raymond) I was ready to start the evening, with a fresh start.

Miss E,on is All About That Bass

A quick cigarette break, with a discussion about new queens and entitlement, and a lack of understanding of how drag, for the Queens I hang out with is a business,  for which payment (for wigs, outfits, etc. and for some gigs) is expected. A word of advice to new queens: unless you have something to offer in trade,  don't expect something for free.

The faces start going on. A few of the ladies come back down to the house and start watching the girls put on their faces. This is where I have the most fun. At this point, they've seen the girls with no makeup,  and so getting to watch the transformation, they're in a bit of awe. Questions are asked about how did you learn to do makeup and how long ago did you start.

Prodigy was dancing with the crowd.

One of the ladies, Carol, brought out Pinot Noir, and sang it out,  when asking I'd anyone wanted any. This turns into a discussion of the most popular shows on Netflix, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the new Grace and Frankie. And, I get my moment to shine when I can show off my random useless knowledge of actors' names.

Normally, I follow the lead of the Queens for the rest of thr day, which usually means no dinner, and then a lot of drinking on an empty stomach. But, Shaunna talked me into going to get some food, and bringing lobster back.

I went down to get dinner with Carol, and we got there a tad bit too early. So, we had a seat in the hallway and waited for the door to open. I learned a lot about how she came to be in Maine, of all places, and about her family. And, I actually opened up and had a conversation with her. If you've been following me for any amount of time,  you know that this is a huge step for me.

Miss E,on

Finally, they motioned for us to come get dinner. The doors were opened.  We got tickets for lobsters, and headed to get our meals. I was sad about the food choices,  because I'm not keen on rare beef, and I don't like lobster. But, I ate the beef and I took the lobster.

Now, for a person who has lived in Maine, for his whole life, it's almost ridiculous to say that I have not ever opened up a lobster. Up until this weekend, that was true. Carol walked me through the process, being cheerleader the whole way. I may have put some blood and sweat into it...no tears, but I was proud of myself in the end.

At some point, another diner gave us her lobster tickets. At this point, I spilled the T that I needed to find a way to smuggle out at least one lobster for Shaunna. My first thought was that I could shove a (paper) salad bowl in my pocket, filled with lobster. Only, that didn't work.  My pocket was too small. And, begging to bring a lobster back for the entertainment didn't work either. Finally an idea hit. Opaque coffee cups would be a perfect hiding place for a de-shelled lobster and some butter.

Shaunna Rai Just Wants to Dance

And, at the table next to us, we found a Co-conspirator. The theme for the evening was Fantasy Island, or something like that, and so our neighbor at the table was an older lady, who was already in costume, as a (self-proclaimed) Oriental Hooker. She went on to tell us a story about having gone to Asia (I think) when she was younger, and that her costume was inspired by belly dancers, who were, well, quite unattractive.  All the while, she was making lobsters disappear into a cooler that doubled as a purse.

Dinner was over, and I walked out of the restaurant with my "coffee". The girls were almost ready. I started to reload the vehicle for the show. I also had a couple drinks, to get me ready for the time that I would be on my own.  As an unofficial stage hand, and official photographer, I tend to get all kinds of busy...which is great.  I love being busy.  But, sometimes, it's not so great.  After bringing in all the luggage and music for the girls, I went out to grab a seat so I'd have a good place for pictures.  And, then, I was summoned out back, to make sure that the DJ knew what song to play when...and a group of Zumba ladies, in sashes and homemade crowns took my seat.  

After writing on my hand the order of the show, because otherwise, I never would've been able to get the proper order to the DJ, because I kept having Miss E,on go on twice in a row, with no gap for Prodigy to fill in, where she actually went.  

So, I went back out to find my seat taken, and grabbed my camera bag, and went in search of a new seat.  I started out in the back of the room, taking pictures, and quickly realized that it just wasn't going to work for me.  I've gotten so used to taking pictures in venues where no flash is allowed, that from the back of a room, no flash, means no picture.  And, when I was flashing, I was reflecting off people's heads, and, still not getting the desired pictures.  So, I moved again.  Ideally, I should've just asked if I could crash a table in the middle of the front row, because, well, I'm the photographer for the night, AND Shaunna Rai's partner...But, I try not to get all snobby like that, because, well, it  makes people look bad...look at Kris Jenner...

Shaunna Rai opened the show, with a P!nk mix, followed by Prodigy Diamond with a Beyonce song.  Next up was E,on, with Garfunkle and Oates's Loophole...if you've never heard it, look it up...but be forewarned, it's dirty-ish...and totally hilarious.  Shaunna was back with Proud Mary...in a totally unplanned, but totally appropriate nod to Joyce, who had done a class with it earlier in the day, when we stopped in to see what was going on.  And, Joyce had spotted me and gave me a big smile, like somehow I made it happen that Shaunna "just happened" to use her song.  E,on did Meghan Trainor's All About That Bass, which the women loved...so many of them got into the songs and were singing along with them.  Then, Prodigy was back, with another Beyonce song...although it was slowed down, and quite a bit different than what I normally see out of Prodigy...she tends to be more dancy.  E,on was back with her final song, which, I unfortunately, don't recall what it was...and finally Shaunna closed out the show with I Just Wanna Dance, knowing that the DJ would mix into regular dance music, and then the Zumba ladies would get up and dance.

The story of how Shaunna Rai got involved in the Moosestock Zumba Weekend was the lead in to one of the songs, and it's such a funny story, that I get a kick out of it every time that I hear it.  Shaunna had done the Dragapalooza on a Sunday, and the following Wednesday, she got a call from an unknown number.  Shaunna/Dan doesn't answer unknown numbers, but for some reason picked up for this one.  On the other end, as the story goes, was this crazy woman, "Hello, is this Shaunna Rai?"

Dinah, the lady in charge of Moosestock.

"Yes?"  "A friend of mine saw you at Dragapalooza and said that you're amazing.  I would like to hire you for a women's retreat this weekend, because, my entertainment cancelled on me."  (I'm paraphrasing here, because I wasn't actually part of the conversation...)  Shaunna agreed, and got another performer to go with her, but never expected it to be what it was.  Shaunna totally believed that she was going to be performing for a group of lesbians camping in the woods.  And, had some reservations about it, because in general, lesbians and drag queens don't get along so swimmingly.

So, anyway, Shaunna and the girls came back out to start mingling, and then Shaunna asked me to go backstage and undo her corset, because she wasn't feeling so hot.  So, I did, and then, for the first time, that I've seen, she got sick.  Which immediately, sends me into caretaker mode, even though, I know that neither Shaunna NOR Dan like being waited on hand and foot when they don't feel well.  So, we gathered Shaunna's stuff up, and I ran her back to the big house on the island, so she could rest up and start feeling better.  

And, then, I did something that I, until this point in time, never would have done before.  I went back and mingled.  I bought myself a drink, and then went to talk to all the ladies that I knew from previous years.  And, I talked to a few people that I hadn't met.  I didn't die.  I didn't have a heart attack.  I didn't even have an anxiety attack.  In fact, I was more anxious about the fact that Shaunna was back at the house, and didn't have anyone to take care of her, than I was about the fact that I was talking to people.  

It was, probably one of the most freeing nights of my life...aside from the night that I went out after I first moved to Portland, to escape my old life officially.  It was also the night that I learned that you don't take Excedrin Extra Strength on an empty stomach, because that's what made Shaunna sick.  

Anyway, it was such a fun night, and it's always a fun weekend.  And, I can't wait until next year, when it happens again.

Moosestock 2014

I have a bad habit of forgetting things.  If I don't have a list when I go shopping, I forget stuff.  Dan asked me to take the time off from work, because it was the annual Zumba weekend at Point Sebago.  This is a private event, that Shaunna Rai started performing at, quite by accident.  The story goes, the first year that Shaunna and Vanila did it, that the event was planned, and then, the entertainment cancelled.  At the last minute, Dan received a call from a frantic lady, who heard about Shaunna from a friend who had gone to Dragapalooza, about this amazing drag queen.

From there, the rest is history.  Shaunna has attended every year since, with Vanila in tow.  I tagged along last year, for my first time, and Benni went along this year, for E'on's first time.  However, somewhere along the way, I forgot to put in for time off.  So, guess who had to work?  Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled about it.  This was, in fact, going to be the first time in more than a year and a half, that I have actually missed a show.

We got to Point Sebago on Friday night.  We got unpacked, in the big island house, same as last year.  And, then, we headed down to the main building.  Friday night was just dancing. And, for Zumba ladies, dancing means doing Zumba.  Dan, Ryan, Benni and I spent the evening in the back of the room, just observing.  People randomly coming up to us, and asking if we were the entertainment.  Some of them recognized us from last year. Some of them, only knew of the girls from reputation.  It was funny for me, because I was being counted as one of the "girls."

Saturday night was the real "show," and of course, it was the piece of the weekend that I missed. The girls did their show, and then comedian George Ham did his thing.  Apparently, from what I heard, he didn't go over very well, with the Zumba ladies.  I hear that he said that "Maybe I would've gone over better if I'd come out in a dress..."

When I finally got out of work, and back to Point Sebago, the night was in full swing.  The ladies were drinking and dancing...this was the part of the night, that I don't remember about last year's event, because one of the Zumba instructors took quite a liking to me and Shaunna, and I think I may have blacked out.  This year, was different.  Namely, because I didn't drink a lot, mostly because I had to work the next morning.  It's nice being able to remember what happened.

Upon arrival back at Point Sebago, Shaunna introduced me to Ann, who is, honest to goodness, what Shaunna would be, if Shaunna was an actual woman.  I had a couple of drinks, to loosen up, since I was feeling horrible about having missed everything.

Next thing I knew, I was dancing with Dinah, the head of Moosestock, and we "had a moment."

Then, the girls did a couple of impromptu numbers on the stage.  Then, there was mingling.  I'm pretty sure I got another drink.  I got introduced to a table full of Zumba ladies, as Shaunna's boyfriend, and they asked if I ever did drag.  After an emphatic "No," they asked if I ever got curious and tried on Shaunna's heels.  The answer again, was a no, because, frankly, my feet are too big.  But, the Zumba ladies, decided that that wasn't a problem, and I was feeling pretty good.  So, off came my sneakers, on went Shaunna's 6 inch heels, and I started dancing with a Zumba lady.  Totally not the most comfortable pair of shoes I've ever worn, since they were probably about 3 sizes too small for my feet, but, I was pretty proud of the fact that I didn't fall, the entire time I wore them.  And I was quite happy to put my sneakers back on. I can honestly say, now, that I understand how Cinderella's step-sisters felt when they put on that glass slipper...

A little bit later, and we were back at the island house. And I was trying my best to fade into the background, so that nobody would miss me when I went to sleep. Only, it didn't work out that way. I still had to work Sunday morning, but, I let Dan talk me out of being my usual anti-social self. Not, however, before I grabbed myself some water, a cheese stick, chicken taquitos and my gluten-free crackers and block of cheese. When trying to head off a hangover,it's best to gift it with food...much like meeting new people.

Per the usual,the ladies were all about the hair and makeup, and couldn't begin to believe that Dan and Shaunna Rai could possibly be the same person. And, so I did a little bit of a zone out and tuned out any conversation that didn't specifically pertain to me. I chose to stuff my face with taquitos instead. That is, until I heard for the second or third time, the reason that the ladies love the drag queens.

"You're gorgeous," that's how it starts. "But,you're not a typical woman. I mean, you're not a woman at all. But,my point is that the three of you walked out on that stage,and you made took for us to be who we are, because it's ok for you to be her and do what you do." I'm paraphrasing,and probably not nearly as eloquent as the lady who actually made this speech. Diana's response was equally powerful. "I do this because I enjoy it. I like the attention that it gets,but I like making people feel comfortable in their own skin. Be whoever you are, and be that person to the fullest. (It was funny hearing this in this context,because,previously, I heard Cherry Lemonade thanking Shaunna for that same piece of advice.) I think shortly after that, I put in a couple of plugs for the blog, and realized that I really should get some business cards made for these kinds of events.

Then ladies started dropping off to bed, quickly, and so did we. And, offering taquitos to the hangover gods was a good plan. I was a little groggy, but no hangover for work.

I'm sure that I still have missed people,like the girls that shared the downstairs floor with us, and the Ripped trainer,who looked a little like Hoda Kotb, if Hoda were a body builder. But, the point is,that I meet all these amazing people,and have a great time. Sometimes, I wish that we did far more of these kind of events, and other times, usually just after them,I'm glad that they don't happen all the time...because, if they did, I think I would give up a day job, and pick up a job as Shaunna's manager,or something,just so I wouldn't have to miss out on events due to my forgetfulness.