Cancer, Schmancer

It's very rare that a show comes along that I'm just not that into... Unfortunately, this was one of those rare shows that I probably should've stayed home for.

With the events of the previous night's show I was more or less exhausted and physically in pain, as I had apparently hit both my hip and my face on the way falling to the ground at the Breezeway.

In the middle of the day, I took a cake, along with a bunch of cupcakes to the Elks Club in Lewiston, so it would be there for Leanna Love, and be a surprise, as she didn't know that we were making her a cake.  Other than that, I did pretty much as little as possible.

I may have milked the sore and exhausted thing a little bit, but, I needed the rest, because there was still one more day of shows to go.

We got there, and I did the usual thing, being bag boy, grabbing my "dresser" ticket, and meeting up with my parents.

I hated the setup of the Elks Club. For a show, it was set up poorly. People wanted to tip, but the tables were too close to get through comfortably and there were so many people that it just looked awkward for the performers.  The stage was in a corner, far away from the audience, and there was little to no lighting, which meant that pictures were not very good from the night.

Knowing the girls in the show, I knew that the bar girl in each of them wouldn't allow most of them to stay on the stage, and figured that the best place for photos would be from across the room. I was mostly right, although, I should've used a flash, instead of relying on the low light settings on the camera and hoping.

I caught hell from stepping in front of the ladies in the concession stand, until they realized that during the show, nobody was getting up, and that they could move out from behind the counter.

Carol, my lobster smuggling friend from Zumba and her husband came, and I had them sit with my parents. Although, my mom followed me around with her camera...and Carol and her husband left...and dad followed us to the front, finding an empty chair, and getting the Shaunna treatment that I normally get, when she throws pieces of the tear aways at me...

Because I wasn't that into it, it felt like it took forever, I couldn't understand the need of Jacinda and Natilee to climb up on the tables and crawl around. (I mean, if that's what you want to do, fine, but, I just didn't get it.)

There were a couple of things that stood out for me though, and it wasn't all bad.

The show itself was a fund raiser, for two women who were battling cancer. Benefit shows are a good thing.

Over the years, I have often heard of Malibu, a queen that used to do shows all the time. I had never met her, and as far as I knew, she was no longer performing...only she did for this show.  My only issue with her performances, as a photographer, was that she kept turning her back to me, and even when she was looking toward my camera, her hair covered her face.

Jersey Couture, (who I have to fight myself to not call Jersey Shore) performed. It's rare enough to get her out out of drag, and even worse in drag, much less performing.

I don't remember if it was the sound,  the audience, the tipping or what, but, for the first time ever, in the time that I have been with Shaunna, I spotted a mistake in a number. So many of the numbers I have seen her do enough that if I wanted to, I probably could perform it spot on myself...so, when a rip away was missed, and then a double rip away happened, I kinda freaked out...like, what happened?

The show finally ended, and all the queens came out for a bow. And Chris, the emcee, asked Leanna to come back to the stage for a minute. Leanna, knowing that her birthday was right around the corner, tried to book it out of the place. After all the work that we put into the cake, I wasn't going to allow her to leave without at least seeing the cake. So I grabbed her arm, and walked her to a chair, while she glared at me, accusing, "You knew about this and didn't warn me!"

A few more pictures with all the queens, the cake, and a few random fans, and it was time to go. And I was ready...we still had Portsmouth the next day. Leanna invited us to go out for dinner, but we declined, and went home.

This was a bit of a low point in my drag fan career. But, you can't be on point all the time, and keep your physical being from having some kind of effect on your mood.

I'm Bringing Lobster Back, Yeah...

Shaunna Rai performs a Pink
mix.

One of my favorite events that Shaunna Rai does is a private party for Zumba at Point Sebago.  Of all the many events that she does, this one is probably the most relaxed of them all.

I missed out on a good portion of last year's event, so I made sure to put in for it this time.

Coming down off the Pride! Portland Launch party the night before, I was a little bit dragging (no pun intended). I had a half finished album of pictures to post, and add the rest to. I did that while waiting for Dan to pack Shaunna's bags, so I could load the car.

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do, as when it was time to go, we still needed gas for the trip to Point Sebago. So, a conversation was had about how I should've been filling the gas tank instead of playing games on the computer.

Prodigy Diamond

Finally, we were on the road. I was texting back and forth with Prodigy Diamond,  as she was going to meet us,  and follow us to Point Sebago.  We got there, checked in and dropped our stuff in the rooms we were staying in.

The fun began then. We walked the grounds, stopping by a few of the Zumba classes. We said hi to Dinah, who hires the girls for this show every year. A few of the other ladies who I have met over the last three years came over to say hi and tell us that they couldn't wait for the show. (And, as usual, with this event, they're looking for me to also be a performer, not just a boring old photographer.)

Miss E,on and The Loophole.

We got lunch, and the lady who two years ago, basically told the girls that they would not be able to stay in drag after their performances,  because it would make people uncomfortable,  came over and was real friendly. Lunch was a barbecue buffet...burgers, hot dogs and BBQ chicken. And with my gluten free diet, I was still hungry after I ate, because a) no bread or dessert,  and b) I didn't want to eat all the food there and have other people go hungry.

After lunch, we headed back to the big house on the island to relax for a bit. On the walk back, discussion turned to why a former performer was not there, and then, to how much fun the evening was going to be.

We got back to the house, and at 2pm, Prodigy started getting her face on, even though the show didn't start until 8. I went on a cigarette run, to the general store, and returned empty-handed, because they didn't have the right cigarettes. So, I took the car, and went for a drive, to find cigarettes.

Shaunna Rai and Joyce share a quick twirl
during Proud Mary.

At the time, I just needed to get out for a bit. But, looking back, a couple days after the fact, I needed to go to try to regain some semblance of calm. With the amount of flack that I got in the morning, and then again after the aborted cigarette mission, and then just for stating that I was taking the car for a bit, I was angry. And, I needed to do something that I haven't done in forever, and just go for a drive to clear my head.

When I got back with food (I'd grabbed a couple of snacky things and eaten them on the way back to Point Sebago, from Raymond) I was ready to start the evening, with a fresh start.

Miss E,on is All About That Bass

A quick cigarette break, with a discussion about new queens and entitlement, and a lack of understanding of how drag, for the Queens I hang out with is a business,  for which payment (for wigs, outfits, etc. and for some gigs) is expected. A word of advice to new queens: unless you have something to offer in trade,  don't expect something for free.

The faces start going on. A few of the ladies come back down to the house and start watching the girls put on their faces. This is where I have the most fun. At this point, they've seen the girls with no makeup,  and so getting to watch the transformation, they're in a bit of awe. Questions are asked about how did you learn to do makeup and how long ago did you start.

Prodigy was dancing with the crowd.

One of the ladies, Carol, brought out Pinot Noir, and sang it out,  when asking I'd anyone wanted any. This turns into a discussion of the most popular shows on Netflix, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the new Grace and Frankie. And, I get my moment to shine when I can show off my random useless knowledge of actors' names.

Normally, I follow the lead of the Queens for the rest of thr day, which usually means no dinner, and then a lot of drinking on an empty stomach. But, Shaunna talked me into going to get some food, and bringing lobster back.

I went down to get dinner with Carol, and we got there a tad bit too early. So, we had a seat in the hallway and waited for the door to open. I learned a lot about how she came to be in Maine, of all places, and about her family. And, I actually opened up and had a conversation with her. If you've been following me for any amount of time,  you know that this is a huge step for me.

Miss E,on

Finally, they motioned for us to come get dinner. The doors were opened.  We got tickets for lobsters, and headed to get our meals. I was sad about the food choices,  because I'm not keen on rare beef, and I don't like lobster. But, I ate the beef and I took the lobster.

Now, for a person who has lived in Maine, for his whole life, it's almost ridiculous to say that I have not ever opened up a lobster. Up until this weekend, that was true. Carol walked me through the process, being cheerleader the whole way. I may have put some blood and sweat into it...no tears, but I was proud of myself in the end.

At some point, another diner gave us her lobster tickets. At this point, I spilled the T that I needed to find a way to smuggle out at least one lobster for Shaunna. My first thought was that I could shove a (paper) salad bowl in my pocket, filled with lobster. Only, that didn't work.  My pocket was too small. And, begging to bring a lobster back for the entertainment didn't work either. Finally an idea hit. Opaque coffee cups would be a perfect hiding place for a de-shelled lobster and some butter.

Shaunna Rai Just Wants to Dance

And, at the table next to us, we found a Co-conspirator. The theme for the evening was Fantasy Island, or something like that, and so our neighbor at the table was an older lady, who was already in costume, as a (self-proclaimed) Oriental Hooker. She went on to tell us a story about having gone to Asia (I think) when she was younger, and that her costume was inspired by belly dancers, who were, well, quite unattractive.  All the while, she was making lobsters disappear into a cooler that doubled as a purse.

Dinner was over, and I walked out of the restaurant with my "coffee". The girls were almost ready. I started to reload the vehicle for the show. I also had a couple drinks, to get me ready for the time that I would be on my own.  As an unofficial stage hand, and official photographer, I tend to get all kinds of busy...which is great.  I love being busy.  But, sometimes, it's not so great.  After bringing in all the luggage and music for the girls, I went out to grab a seat so I'd have a good place for pictures.  And, then, I was summoned out back, to make sure that the DJ knew what song to play when...and a group of Zumba ladies, in sashes and homemade crowns took my seat.  

After writing on my hand the order of the show, because otherwise, I never would've been able to get the proper order to the DJ, because I kept having Miss E,on go on twice in a row, with no gap for Prodigy to fill in, where she actually went.  

So, I went back out to find my seat taken, and grabbed my camera bag, and went in search of a new seat.  I started out in the back of the room, taking pictures, and quickly realized that it just wasn't going to work for me.  I've gotten so used to taking pictures in venues where no flash is allowed, that from the back of a room, no flash, means no picture.  And, when I was flashing, I was reflecting off people's heads, and, still not getting the desired pictures.  So, I moved again.  Ideally, I should've just asked if I could crash a table in the middle of the front row, because, well, I'm the photographer for the night, AND Shaunna Rai's partner...But, I try not to get all snobby like that, because, well, it  makes people look bad...look at Kris Jenner...

Shaunna Rai opened the show, with a P!nk mix, followed by Prodigy Diamond with a Beyonce song.  Next up was E,on, with Garfunkle and Oates's Loophole...if you've never heard it, look it up...but be forewarned, it's dirty-ish...and totally hilarious.  Shaunna was back with Proud Mary...in a totally unplanned, but totally appropriate nod to Joyce, who had done a class with it earlier in the day, when we stopped in to see what was going on.  And, Joyce had spotted me and gave me a big smile, like somehow I made it happen that Shaunna "just happened" to use her song.  E,on did Meghan Trainor's All About That Bass, which the women loved...so many of them got into the songs and were singing along with them.  Then, Prodigy was back, with another Beyonce song...although it was slowed down, and quite a bit different than what I normally see out of Prodigy...she tends to be more dancy.  E,on was back with her final song, which, I unfortunately, don't recall what it was...and finally Shaunna closed out the show with I Just Wanna Dance, knowing that the DJ would mix into regular dance music, and then the Zumba ladies would get up and dance.

The story of how Shaunna Rai got involved in the Moosestock Zumba Weekend was the lead in to one of the songs, and it's such a funny story, that I get a kick out of it every time that I hear it.  Shaunna had done the Dragapalooza on a Sunday, and the following Wednesday, she got a call from an unknown number.  Shaunna/Dan doesn't answer unknown numbers, but for some reason picked up for this one.  On the other end, as the story goes, was this crazy woman, "Hello, is this Shaunna Rai?"

Dinah, the lady in charge of Moosestock.

"Yes?"  "A friend of mine saw you at Dragapalooza and said that you're amazing.  I would like to hire you for a women's retreat this weekend, because, my entertainment cancelled on me."  (I'm paraphrasing here, because I wasn't actually part of the conversation...)  Shaunna agreed, and got another performer to go with her, but never expected it to be what it was.  Shaunna totally believed that she was going to be performing for a group of lesbians camping in the woods.  And, had some reservations about it, because in general, lesbians and drag queens don't get along so swimmingly.

So, anyway, Shaunna and the girls came back out to start mingling, and then Shaunna asked me to go backstage and undo her corset, because she wasn't feeling so hot.  So, I did, and then, for the first time, that I've seen, she got sick.  Which immediately, sends me into caretaker mode, even though, I know that neither Shaunna NOR Dan like being waited on hand and foot when they don't feel well.  So, we gathered Shaunna's stuff up, and I ran her back to the big house on the island, so she could rest up and start feeling better.  

And, then, I did something that I, until this point in time, never would have done before.  I went back and mingled.  I bought myself a drink, and then went to talk to all the ladies that I knew from previous years.  And, I talked to a few people that I hadn't met.  I didn't die.  I didn't have a heart attack.  I didn't even have an anxiety attack.  In fact, I was more anxious about the fact that Shaunna was back at the house, and didn't have anyone to take care of her, than I was about the fact that I was talking to people.  

It was, probably one of the most freeing nights of my life...aside from the night that I went out after I first moved to Portland, to escape my old life officially.  It was also the night that I learned that you don't take Excedrin Extra Strength on an empty stomach, because that's what made Shaunna sick.  

Anyway, it was such a fun night, and it's always a fun weekend.  And, I can't wait until next year, when it happens again.

Gender.....Fuck!

I have a bad habit of believing that because drag is a constant in my life, that it makes me a scholar, when it comes to the topic of gender. And, then, events come along that prove to me that I still have a long way to go before I will ever be able to teach a gender studies class.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I got my schooling. Pride! Portland had posted a request for ideas of entertainment for the week. Dan/Shaunna Rai suggested getting some talent that originated in the area, and Ian Harvie was on the list. As Dan told me this, a couple things clicked. Ian was the first trans person that I knew of. I followed him on MySpace, back in the pre-public Facebook days. And, Ian is in the Amazon Prime show, Transparent. And, since I just got a subscription to Amazon Prime, we decided to watch it. And, I'm hooked. I'm actually disappointed that we binge watched it, as there are only 10 episodes, and I have no idea when the new season comes out.

Anyway, the timing was good, because just after we watched it, University of Southern Maine had their annual USM Royal Majesty Drag Show.

And with all the understanding that I had developed, just from watching Jeffrey Tambour's character out himself as a trans woman, and begin his journey, it was all undone, walking into the conference room they used as a dressing room. I, of course walked in with Shaunna Rai, and dropped off her suitcase with her costumes for the show.

And, the need to box people into a gender all of a sudden went into overdrive. A few, I knew for sure, because they're people I interact with on a regular basis...drag queen...cis male...cis female...but then there were the ones I didn't know. And I couldn't stop second guessing myself. That's a boy. That's a girl. And, then I caught myself doing it.

I excused myself from the room, figuring,  "ok, I have my camera, and I'll be shooting like a fiend, so I should go find a seat." Going to get a seat would be the distraction I needed to get back to my "genderless" normality.

Only, because the show has been a staple for 15 years, it's a draw for all people. And, I found myself trying to box people in the audience, as well. (Is that a gay boy in a leather harness, or a drag king? I just don't know.) And, it just would be rude to walk up to someone you don't know, to ask.

Finally, the show starts.  I'm glad,  because,  now, I have something to focus on. Between the performances and the music itself, I no longer am concerned with who's a boy, who's a girl, who used to be a boy, who used to be a girl, or who is just fucking with perceived genders. I have pictures to take. I have music that I can lip sync to, along with the performers.  And, all is right in the world again.

Except, I'm not the official photographer, this time. There are actually a couple of other pro photographers there. And we're all going for the same shots. And, we're trying to avoid getting each other in our pictures.

A few performers in, I'm intrigued by someone I've not seen perform before. I wish I could remember his drag name...but he came out with a glam rock look, with  Stephen Amell's Green Arrow eye makeup on. And suddenly, something that happened years ago made sense to me.

I had taken a group of kids that I worked with to see the show I participated in a year or two later, Guys in Gowns. One of the acts was done by Kings, who called themselves the "Whoa Men." And on the way back someone asked about them. And I explained that it was a group of women dressed as men. It later came out that there was a crush going on, and it became an issue, because "...I'm not a lesbian..."

And, now, not only have I been transported back in time, but I'm the "lesbian" in the equation now. The number was good. And, by the end of it, I had talked myself into just enjoying the show, and not even worrying about gender, for the rest of the show. Because, gender is what's on the inside and not what's on the outside...although, it's important for some people to have both match.

Shaunna did her number, a Pussycat Dolls mix, ending in Hush Hush/I will Survive (a song I could watch her do every show and never get bored.) Her tear away outfits had people gasping,  and left them wanting more.

Prodigy Diamond was up next, and got read by Cherry Lemonade, who was hosting, for being late. A mix including Evanescance's Bring Me to Life. The outfit was along the lines of Beetlejuice, as a blonde drag queen. And the performance left people wondering how much of her tottering around acting like she was drunk was for the performance, and how much was her actually being drunk.

During intermission, I talked to a couple of the judges,  then went out to see what was going on in the dressing room. Shaunna came out and took my chair, as I had decided that the way to go for this show was sit at the end of the stage, on the floor.

The show started up again,  and this time it was the "contestants's" turns to perform. It was almost all Kings competing this year, with one Queen. E standouts were, Michael Jackson, and John Legend. There was another one, but I can't remember the song.

John Legend was good.

Michael Jackson was amazing,  and, in my mind should clearly have won first place. She knew the dance from the music video step for step. And, looks-wise, until she looked you dead on, she was a dead-ringer.

The song I don't remember,  ended up winning. And, she earned it. The lip sync was on point, as was the dancing. And she's deaf. Until they asked her her "pageant" question,  and an interpreter answered for her, I never would've guessed.

Speaking of interpreters, because they want to be inclusive of everyone, they always have ASL interpreters at the show. And, sometimes, it's actually more fun to watch them perform than to watch the actual performance.  They lip sync to it, and occasionally, they get swept up in the music and start dancing, themselves.

The night was fun. And not a bad way to spend the eve of Dan and my 3 year (Facebook official) anniversary. We went home early, ordered pizzas,  and relaxed, before a trip to Boston the next day.

But, the night was the slap in the face that I needed to realize that even I am not immune from putting people in gender boxes. And, I'm one of the people preaching to others not to... And, I again realize that there are still so many questions I have that I don't know how to get answered, without coming off ignorant and rude...