When I started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, last year, the biggest question that I had, of all drag queens, was, are all drag queens that bitchy?
From where I stand, the answer is, maybe.
Hear me out. This is going to be a long post, and most definitely doesn't have a clear answer to the question.
Every movie that I've watched with a drag queen character in it, has had a queen, who over all the other characters, is the bitch. Throughout the course of the movie, you come to find out the reason that she's such a bitch, is because she's had a shitty life, and that she had to toughen herself up, in order to deal with life. From my experience, any homo is going to tell you that that's their life story.
Does that give you any particular excuse for being a bitch then? Not really.
When I started dating Dan, I was terrified of the drag world. Until I started to really experience what it was like going to shows. For once in my life, I felt like it didn't matter that I was there. I wasn't anyone's thorn in their side. And, I was accepted for being the blatant homo that I sometimes feel like I am. I have never felt more comfortable, than I have being brought in by the drag world.
What happens though, is from time to time, a queen thinks that she's better than anyone else, and starts throwing her weight around. When this happens, the queens around her, generally go on the defensive. Usually, with good reason...they're being attacked, or they've been wronged somehow.
Drag queens are the best of both worlds. They're men, and behave like men, except for when they're being women. This is an observation, that needs to be taken as such. Stereotypically, men get pissed off at each other, have it out, and then make up. It happens. Stereotypically, women get pissed off at each other, and hold a grudge forever. Stereotypically, this is common throughout the entire gay world. It just has been more publicized in the drag world, through the movies, and shows like Drag Race. According to media, drag queens are the top of the hill when it comes to catty, bitchiness. And, some of the people that I know personally, have furthered this stereotype, in their behavior.
A rule in life to remember, is that people are always going to talk. It's one that I learned very early in life. At 7, I learned a vast majority of the names that kids call kids like I was. Not a single one of them was nice. Come to think of it, a lot of the time that I've heard people talk about me, it hasn't been nice. (Sorry, back on topic) Oh yeah, my point here was that there's gotta be some kind of conviction behind what's being said. If you're going to call me a whore, make sure that I'm slutting it up. Wanna call me sloppy seconds? Take a look at yourself, and check to see whether you're doing better at life than I am. Because the final result, is going to be that someone's going to get pissed off in the long run, and you better believe that you're going to get a reading like you've never had before.
I don't care who you are, if you say something bad about a person, there's a reason that you said it. And, alcohol is not an excuse. You were already thinking it, and the alcohol just cut down on your inhibitions, and let it slide off your tongue. "I didn't mean it," isn't a reason either. You did mean it at some point, if those words came out of your mouth.
Now, at this point, it sounds like I'm villifying drag queens, and that is totally NOT my intention. Because NOT all drag queens are villains. Drag queens in general, are some of the most caring people that you'll ever meet. Statistically, according to "The Official Drag Handbook," by Todd Kachinski-Kottmeier (The Infamous Todd), "For every $10 earned for LGBT cause, $8.82 came in through the assistance of a female impersonator." That's a pretty hefty sum, and bear in mind, that is just talking specifically about the LGBT causes. That doesn't encompass the numerous other charities that these people support.
They may be crass, or they may be classy. But, one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that when a queen is performing, is the best time. At Shaunna Rai's last show in Lewiston, I had invited my cousin. She had said that she wanted to meet Shaunna Rai. At the time I invited her, I had no idea that there was anything really going on in her life that she would need a break from. The show was great. And, after the show, while we were waiting for the girls to get packed back up, I found out how much of a release it was for her to be at the show, instead of dealing with her life. She needed the cheering up, that drag brought to her. (Well, not just drag, but Shaunna Rai, and her girls...)
My point, is this. Drag queens have a reputation of being bitchy, because they sometimes can be. But, there's so much more to a queen than a bitchy attitude. There's creativity, there's grace, there's humor. There's a sense of community, and a need to give back. And, most importantly, there's the ability to make a person feel welcome, when that person has felt shut out all of their life.
So, are all queens that bitchy? No. But, some are. And, I think that will never change.
From where I stand, the answer is, maybe.
Hear me out. This is going to be a long post, and most definitely doesn't have a clear answer to the question.
Every movie that I've watched with a drag queen character in it, has had a queen, who over all the other characters, is the bitch. Throughout the course of the movie, you come to find out the reason that she's such a bitch, is because she's had a shitty life, and that she had to toughen herself up, in order to deal with life. From my experience, any homo is going to tell you that that's their life story.
Does that give you any particular excuse for being a bitch then? Not really.
When I started dating Dan, I was terrified of the drag world. Until I started to really experience what it was like going to shows. For once in my life, I felt like it didn't matter that I was there. I wasn't anyone's thorn in their side. And, I was accepted for being the blatant homo that I sometimes feel like I am. I have never felt more comfortable, than I have being brought in by the drag world.
What happens though, is from time to time, a queen thinks that she's better than anyone else, and starts throwing her weight around. When this happens, the queens around her, generally go on the defensive. Usually, with good reason...they're being attacked, or they've been wronged somehow.
Drag queens are the best of both worlds. They're men, and behave like men, except for when they're being women. This is an observation, that needs to be taken as such. Stereotypically, men get pissed off at each other, have it out, and then make up. It happens. Stereotypically, women get pissed off at each other, and hold a grudge forever. Stereotypically, this is common throughout the entire gay world. It just has been more publicized in the drag world, through the movies, and shows like Drag Race. According to media, drag queens are the top of the hill when it comes to catty, bitchiness. And, some of the people that I know personally, have furthered this stereotype, in their behavior.
A rule in life to remember, is that people are always going to talk. It's one that I learned very early in life. At 7, I learned a vast majority of the names that kids call kids like I was. Not a single one of them was nice. Come to think of it, a lot of the time that I've heard people talk about me, it hasn't been nice. (Sorry, back on topic) Oh yeah, my point here was that there's gotta be some kind of conviction behind what's being said. If you're going to call me a whore, make sure that I'm slutting it up. Wanna call me sloppy seconds? Take a look at yourself, and check to see whether you're doing better at life than I am. Because the final result, is going to be that someone's going to get pissed off in the long run, and you better believe that you're going to get a reading like you've never had before.
I don't care who you are, if you say something bad about a person, there's a reason that you said it. And, alcohol is not an excuse. You were already thinking it, and the alcohol just cut down on your inhibitions, and let it slide off your tongue. "I didn't mean it," isn't a reason either. You did mean it at some point, if those words came out of your mouth.
Now, at this point, it sounds like I'm villifying drag queens, and that is totally NOT my intention. Because NOT all drag queens are villains. Drag queens in general, are some of the most caring people that you'll ever meet. Statistically, according to "The Official Drag Handbook," by Todd Kachinski-Kottmeier (The Infamous Todd), "For every $10 earned for LGBT cause, $8.82 came in through the assistance of a female impersonator." That's a pretty hefty sum, and bear in mind, that is just talking specifically about the LGBT causes. That doesn't encompass the numerous other charities that these people support.
They may be crass, or they may be classy. But, one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that when a queen is performing, is the best time. At Shaunna Rai's last show in Lewiston, I had invited my cousin. She had said that she wanted to meet Shaunna Rai. At the time I invited her, I had no idea that there was anything really going on in her life that she would need a break from. The show was great. And, after the show, while we were waiting for the girls to get packed back up, I found out how much of a release it was for her to be at the show, instead of dealing with her life. She needed the cheering up, that drag brought to her. (Well, not just drag, but Shaunna Rai, and her girls...)
My point, is this. Drag queens have a reputation of being bitchy, because they sometimes can be. But, there's so much more to a queen than a bitchy attitude. There's creativity, there's grace, there's humor. There's a sense of community, and a need to give back. And, most importantly, there's the ability to make a person feel welcome, when that person has felt shut out all of their life.
So, are all queens that bitchy? No. But, some are. And, I think that will never change.
