Something Fishy This Way Comes

The last month has been a bit crazy, between all of Shaunna Rai's shows, and my own personal stuff.  I gave notice at a job I hated, and then left a week earlier than I said I would.  I started a new job, working in the sales/marketing department of a major bank.  And, I outed myself, to not only the other new hires in my training class, but also a group of new hires from Cleveland.

I made something of a celebrity of myself, and Shaunna Rai by doing so.  The instructor asked each person to name a fun fact about themselves.  So, figuring that a lot of people would talk about pets, or kids and such, I wanted something that would stand out. SO, I decided to put it out there that two of my closest friends (Dan and Ryan) are Drag Queens.  The instructor's response was that this was "The BEST" fun fact she had ever heard, and she was still talking about it days later.

But, by outing myself, I made a connection with a couple of people in my class.  Which, was sort of the goal.  At lunch, that afternoon, I started talking to an older woman (in her 50's, so older than me, but not old, by any means) about her kids.  She told me that one of her sons is a drag queen in California.  She then proceeded to pull out her phone, and show me Trendy Wendy's Facebook photos.  Score one for a cool mom.  I mean, really, this woman worked for the Navy for years, so, kudos for that! But, to be cool enough, and proud enough to show off pictures of your adult child in drag? Well, some drag queens just aren't that lucky.

I've also heard from another girl (younger than me), about a friend of hers, who is a transman.  She was there as a friend, to support him, in his transition, and saw the transformation, along the way.

Anyway, so I came home from work the other night, and told Dan about Trendy Wendy's mother, and the fact that she told me to stalk Wendy's page.  So, I did.  And, I looked at pictures with Dan.  And, he said something to the effect of "She's fishy."

In my former life, this would have meant one of two things: either, she stinks like a fish market, OR there's something off about her.  Neither of which anyone would want to hear about themselves.  Fortunately, with all the drag talk, and RuPaul's Drag Race, I've learned that Fishy also has another meaning...Very Feminine.  In drag and trans(woman) terms, the more fishy you are, the better, because it means that you look feminine without really trying hard.

To be a little more descriptive about what I mean:  in my world, there are (forgive me for a rough generalization) three classifications of drag queen makeup.

1. Gimmick makeup: Makeup done specifically for a reaction.  Taffy Pulls would be a good example of this class.  Her makeup tends to be pale, with bold eye shadow, and bright lipstick, that may or may not be applied properly.  (It's meant to look badly done, because that's the gimmick.)  Detox's Black and White for the season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Jinkx Monsoon's Sugar Skull would both also fall into this category.

2. Regular Drag Makeup:  I'm sure there is probably a "real" name for it, but, this is my blog, and I'm just trying to classify in my own terms, what I'm thinking.  Regular Drag Makeup tends to, in person look extremely severe.  The highlights are very light, and the contouring (shading) is very dark.  A lot of the queens I know fall into this category.

3. Fishy Makeup: Fishy makeup, is the look that queens like Trendy Wendy go for, more of a "barely there" look.  Think along the lines of a magazine advertisement...you look at the picture, and see a beautiful face...and you think of "Oh, they have makeup on," after the fact.  

One Night Only

Ok, so last night was Taffy's show again. And, as promised, I got my makeover.

Being introduced as Dan's boyfriend, and "guinea pig" model/victim was fun. Taffy, Dan, and a couple of other makeup artists, plus the entire audience at Styxx hearing him say that.  It's sweet.

Anyway, then, because the lighting on the stage is really performance lighting, and not makeup lighting, we got to go in the back room, and I got a private makeup session, complete with my own photographer, my roommate.

I was half expecting to get made up on stage, so the fact that I was hidden away in the back, was almost a disappointment, but at the same time a relief.

Now, mind you, I've watched Dan get into Shaunna Rai's makeup a few times, so I know exactly what goes into it, and how long it takes. But, I didn't realize how long it feels like it takes, when someone else is doing it. I felt like I was in the chair forever. And by the time it was the "midway" check in, to see the progress on my face, I was ready for it to be over...the painting, at least.  I was ready for the reveal, even though, at that point, there really wasn't much to reveal, other than the fact that I'd had a base put on, and was contoured.

The makeup started to get itchy, and it took most of my willpower to not reach up and scratch my face. The makeup on the eyes was the worst part of the experience, because I'm a jumpy, blinky person anyway. SO, sitting there, and having Dan, a person I trust, poking around on my eyelids, with my eyes closed so I didn't know when or where he was at any given point, was enough to drive me nuts.

When we got to the lips, I was happy. It was almost over, by then. I'd been able to catch glimpses of myself in the mirror on the wall opposite where I was sitting, but, it didn't make a lot of sense to me what I was really seeing. But, I knew that we were getting close. And, when the wigs finally came out, I knew that I'd made it to the home stretch.

Judging from watching Shaunna Rai finish getting ready for a show, I figured that I was probably going to get at least two different wigs before we settled on something...or before Dan did. And, I wasn't disappointed. The first wig, was the black, curly Cher wig. Apparently, it was too dark.  And, of the other five or six wigs, it was the one that I was hoping NOT to get, that I got.  It wasn't that I didn't like the red wig...It's just that the last time I was in drag, I was a redhead.  Not to mention, when I go around in red hair, I look so much like my mother...

It all came together great though, in the end. And I was shocked that people didn't recognize me.  I mean, yeah, I'm wearing a wig, and makeup, but it's not like I changed bodies while they were waiting in the audience. And, yet, people who I socialize with on a regular basis, had no idea that it was me.

So, what started off as a night that was supposed to just be fun, kind of accidentally, (although, a "happy accident") became a social experiment.  Even though, I was still dressed in my boy clothes, and literally, the only changes in my look were that I was wearing a hair cutting cape, to keep the makeup off my clothes, and I had makeup and a wig on, people didn't know it was me.  The part where I really had fun, was afterward, when I got all kinds of compliments. People were amazed at the work that Dan had done on me, and more than I couple times, I got, "Gurrrl, you looked so good, I didn't even know it was you!"

It was fun to play make-believe with a new face and hair. But, that was all it was. I was extremely conscious of the fact that I was still Steve, and still shy, even though I was standing up in front of a full bar of people that I barely know. And, it was an odd mix of feelings. Part of me was basking in the attention. The rest of me was ready for it to be over, and get out of face. Once it was over though, I was glad to get back to being Steve, instead of One Night.

 Would I do it again? For something like Taffy's show, probably. For something to just go and do on a Friday night, probably not.  Unless Kathy Griffin needs a stunt double...in which case, I might consider it, because I might be able to pull off the look. The attitude and mannerisms, I'd need to study up on, though.

Your Boob's in the Sink

Over the weekend,  I woke up to a conversation containing those words. And, so, it got me thinking. A question that I have heard from a few people,  on a few occasions,  is, "How do they get their boobs?"

Sarcastic me always wants to respond, "They stole them from a biological  woman." Because, just like a bio woman, there are plenty of ways to make yourself have breasts, or the illusion of them.

When I did Guys in Gowns, my boobs were literally made from rolled up socks stuffed in my dress.

Everyone knows the old stand-by of stuffing tissues in a bra. And, there's a picture that keeps showing up on my Facebook with the caption "You know, you're supposed to take them out of the box..."

A lady never reveals her secrets,  but, given that I'm not a lady, I can reveal secrets. Lol. I have seen both Shaunna Rai and Vanila Honey-Bush use silicone-y falsies that look similar to boneless chicken breasts. These, being the ones that were found in the sink...

On a larger scale, there is the breastplate. A rubbery thing that wraps around the neck, like a big necklace, with boobs on it.

And, on a smaller scale, there is just contouring with makeup.  I've showed my mom pictures of Shaunna Rai with only contouring done, that she was like, "You're kidding". This, to me, is the coolest way of "making a chest." Because,  with the right dress, and the right contouring, it looks like a real set of breasts.