Something Fishy This Way Comes

The last month has been a bit crazy, between all of Shaunna Rai's shows, and my own personal stuff.  I gave notice at a job I hated, and then left a week earlier than I said I would.  I started a new job, working in the sales/marketing department of a major bank.  And, I outed myself, to not only the other new hires in my training class, but also a group of new hires from Cleveland.

I made something of a celebrity of myself, and Shaunna Rai by doing so.  The instructor asked each person to name a fun fact about themselves.  So, figuring that a lot of people would talk about pets, or kids and such, I wanted something that would stand out. SO, I decided to put it out there that two of my closest friends (Dan and Ryan) are Drag Queens.  The instructor's response was that this was "The BEST" fun fact she had ever heard, and she was still talking about it days later.

But, by outing myself, I made a connection with a couple of people in my class.  Which, was sort of the goal.  At lunch, that afternoon, I started talking to an older woman (in her 50's, so older than me, but not old, by any means) about her kids.  She told me that one of her sons is a drag queen in California.  She then proceeded to pull out her phone, and show me Trendy Wendy's Facebook photos.  Score one for a cool mom.  I mean, really, this woman worked for the Navy for years, so, kudos for that! But, to be cool enough, and proud enough to show off pictures of your adult child in drag? Well, some drag queens just aren't that lucky.

I've also heard from another girl (younger than me), about a friend of hers, who is a transman.  She was there as a friend, to support him, in his transition, and saw the transformation, along the way.

Anyway, so I came home from work the other night, and told Dan about Trendy Wendy's mother, and the fact that she told me to stalk Wendy's page.  So, I did.  And, I looked at pictures with Dan.  And, he said something to the effect of "She's fishy."

In my former life, this would have meant one of two things: either, she stinks like a fish market, OR there's something off about her.  Neither of which anyone would want to hear about themselves.  Fortunately, with all the drag talk, and RuPaul's Drag Race, I've learned that Fishy also has another meaning...Very Feminine.  In drag and trans(woman) terms, the more fishy you are, the better, because it means that you look feminine without really trying hard.

To be a little more descriptive about what I mean:  in my world, there are (forgive me for a rough generalization) three classifications of drag queen makeup.

1. Gimmick makeup: Makeup done specifically for a reaction.  Taffy Pulls would be a good example of this class.  Her makeup tends to be pale, with bold eye shadow, and bright lipstick, that may or may not be applied properly.  (It's meant to look badly done, because that's the gimmick.)  Detox's Black and White for the season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Jinkx Monsoon's Sugar Skull would both also fall into this category.

2. Regular Drag Makeup:  I'm sure there is probably a "real" name for it, but, this is my blog, and I'm just trying to classify in my own terms, what I'm thinking.  Regular Drag Makeup tends to, in person look extremely severe.  The highlights are very light, and the contouring (shading) is very dark.  A lot of the queens I know fall into this category.

3. Fishy Makeup: Fishy makeup, is the look that queens like Trendy Wendy go for, more of a "barely there" look.  Think along the lines of a magazine advertisement...you look at the picture, and see a beautiful face...and you think of "Oh, they have makeup on," after the fact.  

So, That Makes You a Cross Dresser, Right?

The One and Only RuPaul

Over the weekend, while Dan and I were snowed in, we watched a lot of Netflix.  (And, some Youtube.)  In all of the viewing that we did, I got a few answers to questions that I had. Namely, what is the difference between a Cross Dresser, a Drag Queen, a Transgender, and a Transvestite?  Because all in all, they all have similar elements to them.

The only thing that really ties all of the above together, is the fact that someone is wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. The reasoning, though, is what makes them different.

I'll go in the order of least amount of research for finding the definitions.

Drag Queen/Drag King: In either case, a man or woman dresses up as a member of the opposite sex, for performance/entertainment purposes. The clothing helps create a character. And, the costume does not mean that the person wearing it wants to actually be the opposite sex.

Transgender/Transsexual: This is probably the easiest for me to explain, (and hardest to understand in my head), and I don't really even have to look it up, only because I know at least two people who identify as transpeople. A transgendered person, is a person who feels that they were born of the wrong gender, and is likely to seek medical attention to correct their physical gender to match that of their mental gender.

Cross Dressing: According to urban dictionary, a cross dresser is a man (generally heterosexual) who wears women's clothes. According to wikipedia, just the act of putting on the clothing of the opposite sex is the definition. And, it's the overall name for the entire category of all people who dress gender opposite.

Transvestite: Anyone who has seen Rocky Horror Picture Show, has some idea of what a transvestite is. A transvestite, again, according to Wiki, is a person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, for some kind of sexual gratification.

What does all this really mean? To me, not much. It's just a bunch of words, really. But, to people who fall into some of these categories, they mean a whole hell of a lot. Just because you're a drag queen, does not mean that you're a transwoman.  And, being a transwoman, doesn't make you a transvestite.  RuPaul, for example is a Drag Queen, but not a tranny (short for transgendered person).

For clarification, transwoman is a male to female gender reassignment, and, likewise, a transman, is a female to male.

Carmen Carerra, before and after

There are always exceptions to the rule, though.  Carmen Carerra, and Monica Beverly Hillz, both contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race, come to mind. Carmen Carerra came to the show as a male, for his season, but now, lives as a woman, and is gorgeous.  And, Monica Beverly Hillz, is currently on Drag Race, and just came out as a transwoman.

As I said before, transgender is very difficult for me to fathom. I just cannot make it ever make sense in my mind, how a person could just give up their identity that they were born with, to create a brand new identity, that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.I just wonder, if you were uncomfortable with a penis before because you felt like you were  really a woman, what makes you think that once you become a woman that you're going to be totally happy without it?  And, by all means, if you or anyone you know, can help me understand it, please explain it to me?  The goal here is for me to educate myself, as much as anyone else who reads this, instead of airing what may appear to be prejudices.