Grammar Police

So, it was brought to my attention, that try as I may, to not be offensive, my ignorance, when it comes to pronouns, is going to get me into trouble. As are my assumptions based on slang.

One of the things that I have found most confusing about entering the drag world, is, knowing when is the right time to use the words he or she, or him or her.

+Ms. Vanilla Honey-Bush brought it to my attention, that in talking about +Carmen Carerra, I used the male pronoun him or he, instead of her or she. For a transgender person, the proper pronoun to use, is the one that matches the visible figure.  If a person looks like a woman, you generally should refer to her as a her.

On the other hand, when it comes to the drag community, it's harder to know which gendered pronoun is the right one to use. At this point, after a lot of discussions with Dan and +Shaunna Rai, I've come to the conclusion, that if it quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it's probably a duck, and should be referred to as such. Likewise, if a person is wearing a dress, and makeup, a female pronoun should be used.

In the greater Drag community though, it's much more interesting. Dan has taken me to  +Club 313, in Manchester, NH, and +Jacques' Cabaret, in Boston , MA. In both cases,it was Dan who took me out. But, it was Shaunna Rai who was talked to.

I thought, growing up, that it was bad that my dad knew people, everywhere he went. But, +Shaunna Rai takes that to a whole new level.

Dan explained on the way home from 313, the first time, his expectations about the proper use of pronouns when I'm with him. If I am with Dan as Dan, I refer to him as him. If he is Shaunna Rai, I should refer to him as her.

In talking to +Miss E'on, Vanilla Honey-Bush, and Shaunna Rai, last night, after +Taffy Pulls's +RuPaul's Drag Race viewing party, at +Styxx, it was brought to my attention, that there was an alternative to worrying about using the proper pronoun...use genderless ones, or use the proper name. Or, just skip using pronouns in general.