Outside my Comfort Zone

"I'd wear that (blue gown with a fade to silver and rhinestones)" is not the way I expected to start a conversation about Drag clothes shopping. Especially, given that I've said before that drag clothing shopping makes me a little uncomfortable.

In the past few months, I think I've spent equal amounts of time looking at women's clothing, and men's.  And, the more time that I spend with Dan, shopping for Shaunna Rai, the less weird it seems to me.

I spent yesterday with Dan and Ryan shopping for Shaunna Rai and Vanila Honey-Bush. It was a fun day, because,  it's always fun with the two of them. Seeing the "sibling-like" relationship they have was interesting.

They've got similar taste in clothes,  with some exceptions.  Shaunna Rai tends to go for off the shoulder outfits. And Vanila was looking for sleeves.

Going in to Deb, I was nervous,  because,  here we were, three guys, going into a store that is definitely a women's clothing store, and a gaggle of teenage boys walked past as we went in. The clerks asked if we were finding everything ok. (I always wonder what they must be thinking as they ask.)

At Forever XXI (21), the girls found matching outfits. And, I felt slightly less self conscious, as there were a lot of guys in there. Granted,  it was because they were there with their girlfriends. But, I didn't feel as much like people were staring at me.

At H&M, it was much more interesting.  As we did our own shopping,  it was pointed out that there was another drag queen shopping there. That explained the man looking at clothes in the women's section...

By the time we got to Torrid, I was getting tired of the drag shopping. And the (biological) women were less friendly.  They gave us dirty looks. They were thoughtful enough to keep their mouths shut,  but, by the time we left there, I was done with it.

Unfortunately, for me, Dan and Ryan still had more shopping to do. And, because I was less interested in the shopping,  I was more interested in people's reactions to us being in the women's clothes. There were dirty looks, and some blatant "we're avoiding this area, because you're here" behavior. 

I was very glad when it was time to go home. Partly because I was ready, and partly due to feeling sick to my stomach. 

Oddly enough, after a full day of it yesterday,  I went again with Dan, this morning. And, I found the importance of final clearance. Shaunna Rai got a jacket for 70 cents.

Anyway, back to my original thought, that it was funny that when I go shopping for Shaunna Rai, I look at things, and think,  "I'd wear that. (If I did drag.) I told Dan that one day, thinking he would give me a hard time. When he told me that he thought that a lot of guys do that, it made me feel less weird about being there, in the first place.

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. It's a work in progress, for me, to be entirely comfortable with all of this.  But, I'm seeing progress.