Here in Portland, there are a group of gays, who on a monthly basis, take over a straight bar, just because they can. They call themselves Guerrilla Queer Bar. I understand the "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Over It" mentality. Because, let's face it, it's 2014, not 1950. We've become a visible.
I've never participated in this, because, to be quite frank, even though, it's totally acceptable for a gay man to frequent "straight" establishments, I've never felt comfortable enough to do so. I would much rather spend my time either hanging out at the local "Cheers" environment, where everybody really does know my name...and everything about me, or go to a dance club, where nobody cares who I am. But, a club where I'm the minority, that's just not my thing. Maybe I am still living in a 1950's world, but I think we need the gay bars.
Unfortunately, gay bars, in the Easternmost states, are becoming a rare commodity. When I first came out, the state of Maine had far more than it has now. Bangor had a couple of bars, Augusta had one, Portland had (I believe) three at one point, and well, Ogunquit being Ogunquit, the gay capitol of Maine, had a couple. Over the course of the last few years, the bars have been going out of business. Bangor has "gay friendly" clubs, but none that cater to an exclusively gay clientele. Augusta has none. Portland still has two gay bars, which rumor has it, neither is doing as well as they could be...Lewiston, since I met Dan/Shaunna Rai, has had not one, not even two, but three different gay bars open and close. And, Ogunquit has Mainestreet and the Front Porch (a dance club and a piano bar.)
And, the blight that has been taking away the Maine gay bars, has moved on to New Hampshire, as well. Over the summer, Shaunna Rai hosted a bag night at Elements, a bar in Manchester, NH. And, a couple of weeks later, they announced that they would be closing. (They've since reopened...) And, then, this week, Paradym/Club 313 (whichever name you prefer to use, because it's the same club, under different management) announced that this weekend, they would be closing their doors.
Sadly, the state of business for many of these bars, is that everyone believes that they're doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, they're closed for good. And, who is to blame?
As a group, we, the gays, like to complain. He's too ugly, he's too fat, he's too much of a whore. This club is too dirty. That club doesn't pay enough attention to their clientele. This one has the same five performers, every week. That one has too many performers, but they're always performing the same act. We're never happy. We need something newer. Something flashier. Something different.
And yet, the community as a whole, goes berserk when something happens to the club that they've been complaining about for years.
I have some suggestions:
1.) Instead of forcing ourselves on the straight people, why don't we invite them once in a while, to our world?
2.) Even if you've seen the same seven drag queens at the same bar for the last seventeen years, performing the same seventeen numbers, let them know that you appreciate what they're doing. More often than not, they're being paid minimal amounts, and getting by on tips.
3.) If you want to keep your gay bars around, so that when you feel like being gay, you can be gay, and nobody will give a fuck, SUPPORT YOUR BARS!!!! I can't stress this enough. People bitch the most about the bars that appeared to be doing well, that all of a sudden, BANG, they're gone. Well, if you had been going there, instead of trying to "make a point of your queerness", maybe they'd still be around...
4.) If you have suggestions for your bars, of what they could do to make things better, find out who you need to talk to, and talk to them! The worst thing that can happen, is that they're going to say, "Hey, we tried that, and nobody liked it, but thanks for the idea." The best that can happen is that they say, "OMG! I hadn't even thought about that! Thanks for the idea. We'll try that!"
5.) A cover charge is not a rip off. Often times, the cover charge is split between the bar and the entertainment for the evening. If you're not interested in paying a cover charge, you might want to consider buying your alcohol, and having drinks with friends at home. (You have less of an opportunity for getting picked up for an OUI that way...)
Some things just can't take the place of other things. Your straight bar with a "gay night", is never going to take the place of your local Gay Bar. It's not the same. It's like saying that a Kindle is the same as reading a real book. It's not. While I love my Kindle, while I'm reading on it, I miss actually turning the pages, and the smell of the paper.
Respect your present, because eventually, it is going to be your past. And, if things keep going the way they have been over the last couple of years, in Maine and New Hampshire, the Gay Bar scene is going to be non-existent.
Sure, you can still go play Guerrilla Queer Bar-hopper, but don't forget that you can go to your ACTUAL Queer Bar, and support them. Because eventually, if we're not supporting our bars, they won't be there. And we'll start bitching about the lack of a place to go where you can be gay, and not have to worry about being gay.
