Wait...What!?

So, you meet this guy. He's good looking. He's sweet. He's the kind of guy that you want to get to know, so you can take him home to meet the parents. And, then, he drops the bomb.  You've met before.  Only, he looked different. He was a she...

This has happened to me twice. Well, technically, only once, since I didn't meet T, until after the fact. But, I've had two boyfriends "come out" of "the drag closet."  It's not really something that you easily acclimate to.  Although, I suppose it's easier than finding out that he did time in Prison, and is the bitch of two 7 foot tall, 350 pound brutes, named Bubba...

So, how do you come to terms with this little revelation?

You either accept it, and go from there, or you run the other way, as fast as you can.  And, sometimes, it may be a little difficult to know which is the proper option.  With T, it was a case of, I'm going to be extremely cautious about this, because I don't know what to make of it.  With Shaunna Rai, it was a little different. I'd already been through this once with T. And, Shaunna Rai and I had actually interacted, before the dating thing started.

The biggest thing about the whole, my boyfriend is sometimes a girl, issue, was "What are the ground rules for this?" Do I have to go buy dresses with him? Does he buy dresses as a boy or a girl? What exactly does he expect of me?  And, what if I'm not comfortable with this, or that?

I'm getting better with the whole drag shopping thing. I've gone with Dan enough, to get stuff for Shaunna Rai, or just to window shop for her.  Am I always comfortable with it? No. Am I always uncomfortable with it? That's also a no.  It's really a day by day thing for me. I'm less comfortable with looking at women's clothing with Dan, than I am at women's shoes.  (I may have a bit of a shoe thing, and dammit, women have way more choices of pretty shoes.)  And, if the most uncomfortable thing I have to do, is spend time wandering around in the dress section of a store, I think I can handle it.

Honestly, there are much worse things than being told that your boyfriend dresses in drag...and has done so for the last 20 years...

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes...

So, one of the most interesting experiences that I've had has been telling people that I'm dating someone who does drag.  In and of itself, it's not really that big a deal. Well, to me, anyway.

The reaction that surprised me the most, was "So, do you only date drag queens now?"  This makes sense, in that the last boyfriend I had, and my current one both do drag.  (And both are friends.)  My first reaction to that, was offense. Because, in the moment, my thought was, I wasn't dating the "alter".  I have since changed my stance on that a bit.  (More on this in a minute.)

The best reaction, I have to admit came from my mom.  "Oh, so, what does he do?"  Me, being me, I couldn't exactly leave it out.  Especially, since the first time I talked about Dan, was when he invited me to go to see him in a show in Waterville, the Screaming Queens.  So, I explained that he had two jobs, and that he did drag.  She later friended him and recently friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Mom's response? "He makes a prettier girl than I do."  And, later on, "How does he walk in those shoes? If I tried that, I'd fall on my face!"

So, back to dating the "alter". As I said, my initial reaction was to get mad. Because, I'm not a gay guy trying to pass myself off as straight by dating someone, who sometimes, kinda looks like a girl.  I'm a gay guy, dating another gay guy, who just happens to sometimes dress up like a woman, and looks amazing as either. The longer we've been dating though, the more I realize that in some ways, I am dating Shaunna Rai as well. Screaming Queens was technically a date, with Shaunna Rai. And, on a few of our other dates, even though, I was out with Dan, dressed as Dan, people referred to him as Shaunna Rai. I was quite unsure about how to handle it at first. But, now, it makes no difference. If I'm Dan's boyfriend, Awesome. If I'm Shaunna Rai's boyfriend, Great. And, with the promoting that I've started doing for Shaunna Rai, and company, I'd say that she definitely has had an impact on my life.  In more of a positive way than I ever would have imagined.  I feel like I'm doing something, for the first time in a long time.  

Guys In Gowns...or Clown Drag

As I said yesterday, I've done Drag a couple of times in my life. Both times, I was pretty embarassed, 

For my Girls, for Halloween   2007-ish

because it was something totally foreign to me.  And, for lack of a better explanation, it was totally scary.

My first foray, was when I worked at a group home for girls.  They knew more about the whole drag thing than I did.  And, before they all aged out of the program, they wanted me to drag up.  I was mortified.  But, I promised I would, on the premise that it would be a one time thing, on Halloween.  Luckily, for me, the majority of the staff was female, and helped get me all dolled up.  

I don't think I looked that good. The girls loved the look though.. SO, that was the important thing.  

The only other time that I've done drag, was for an event called Guys In Gowns. It was a fund raiser for a local business called Youth Promise, that helps to keep kids out of the court system. So, in my mind, it was a great cause. (And I participated in it, only because it was such a good cause...kids from the home I had worked at had worked with the program.)

  

Guys in Gowns 2011

Guys in Gowns was more scary, as I was performing, for real, in front of an actual audience of people who were there to see "Clown Drag".  What I mean by that, is that in years past, (before I actually participated), the drag was meant to be funny. Water balloon boobs, and Bearded Ladies.

I was talked into it by a friend, who had agreed to do a number with me. Unfortunately, for me, there was a drop out, the night before the show. And, in favor of keeping the time roughly the same, they decided that we should separate our acts.

So, instead of doing a duet, I went solo.  After an anti-anxiety med, or two.  I did my thing, and would have been great, if I hadn't discovered halfway through my number that my mic hadn't been on.  I turned it on, and finished singing the rest of the number.  In front of my boss, my co-workers, my parents, my boyfriend at the time, and the emcee of the show, Kathleen Shannon, of the local NBC affiliate news station.

I did something right, because I managed to pull a trophy or two out of it. One, just a participation trophy. The other, "Most Glamorous."  To be honest, though, I felt far from glamorous. I felt like what I was. A guy, in a dress, wearing high heel boots that were at least two sizes too small, who had socks stuffed in his chest.