I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

A Part of My Childhood Has Died...Literally

I know I owe you guys a blog article about the show at Blackstones, from last weekend.  And, it's in the process of being written.  Or, at least it was, until I heard about the passing of a friend's mother.  The news kind of took all the wind out of my sails, and has kept me kind of quiet.

How do you write about a woman who was practically a second mother to you?  How do you impress upon the world how big an impact someone has had on you, just by being a part of your life?

I first met Mrs. Eaton, roughly around the time that we moved to Warren. I was 5 back then.  She lived in the house up on the hill, from my parents' house.  She was the mother to Ari and Alyssa...although, Alyssa at that point, hadn't been born yet.

I spent so much time at Crystal's house...although, growing up, it was always Ari's house, never Crystal and Ed's. Because, you never think that way when you're a kid.  You always go to your friends' houses, never their parents.  You only go to the parents' houses, when you're older, and start dating, and it gets serious. We even spent time at their house, when we weren't supposed to be...like the one time that we went to see Ari, and Crystal had gone shopping, and Ed was at work...and the doors were just unlocked, so we went in to hang out.  We got in trouble.  But, we were allowed back.

I loved spending time there, because it was so much different than at home.  The atmosphere was so much different.  Crystal was like the anti-mom to my mom. She smoked, she would have a drink every night, while my mom partook in neither.  The house always smelled like a combination of woodstove and cigarette smoke, and though it has never been confirmed for me, a scent that I swear is a fully female scent.

I remember Crystal being pregnant with Alyssa.
I remember the night that we spent at Ari's house, with my parents, because Crystal's father had passed away.

And then, I grew up.  And, I went away to school, and then made a life for myself.  Or at least, I thought at the time that I had...I'm still working on that, in general.  I played some of the same Facebook games as Crystal, and we were friends on Facebook.  But, aside from the occasional, "Hey, can you send me this, or that?" or a comment on a picture, or the yearly, "Happy Birthday!" I lost contact with her.

When I first heard that she had Cancer, I was terrified for her, and for the entire family. Most of the families that I grew up around had a strong maternal head.  Crystal was that.  And she beat it.  And then, it came back.  And, it got worse.  And, I never knew what to say, because I knew that nothing I could say, could make it go away.  So, I said nothing.  In my heart, I prayed that there would be a miracle for her, and that it would just magically be gone.  And, she never knew that.

Crystal sadly, lost her fight on Monday, January 27th.  She was 49.  I never told her how much I loved and respected her for everything that she did for us when I was a kid.

So, how do you tell the world about someone that they'll never know, and get across the point of why they should've known her?  I'm hoping it's like this.  You lay yourself bare, and write through the tears.  You remember everything good that you ever knew about her.  You focus on the fact that she was a parent...though not my own...who has that parental intuition.  And, hope that some of that kicked in, and that she somehow knew how much she meant to me.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.  

Fact Finding Mission...

Back in the days BDS (Before Dan and Shaunna) I ran a little webcomic, called Got Pride? It was an homage to everything queer that I could come up with. And, a story about my family life...more or less. I did very little research into some of the stuff that I tackled. One of the unfinished, unresolved stories that I started was the transitioning of a transgendered character.  Why was it unfinished? Well, for the most part, I don't know what it's like to be transgendered.  Nor did I know anyone who identified as transgendered, who I could ask, in order to do some research, and actually get the story right.

I may take that story back up someday.  I just need to find some people who I can collaborate with, to get it right.  Because, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot more to the story than just deciding one day as a woman that you're going to go to CVS, buy hair clippers, hair dye, and men's clothes, and boom, you're a man. I've heard that it's an easier transition than the transition from male to female, but, still.  I handled it ignorantly, and then wrote the character off, because I knew I didn't know, what I didn't know.

That being said, with the successful interest in the drawings that I have been doing on commissions, it got me back in the mindset of, I want to tell a story.  But, I don't want it to be my story.  I want it to be the story of a drag queen.  Or a group of queens.  It'll tell about what it's like to be a boy, and a girl, without having to deal with all the stresses of telling the transition story...at least at first.  Because as I've noticed throughout my year living with Dan, the transgender community is intertwined with that of the drag community. (And, yes, I'm still quite ignorant about the trans community, so I'm going to get things wrong, and apologize in advance.)

What I decided this time though, is that I need to do my research first.  I want to know the experience of being a drag queen, through a drag queen's eyes. (And, if any transgendered people want to help me research their side of things, I'd love to hear that as well.)  So, I've come up with a list of questions that I'm hoping will help me get some answers that will help me decide if I really can go through with the comic/graphic novel about drag life.  As of now, it's all still in planning.  No set characters, no storyline (as such), just an idea in my head that I need help figuring out how to best get it on paper.

So, the list of questions, in no particular order:

How did you get your start in drag?
How did you get your drag name?
What is your favorite part of doing drag?
Queens tend to get categorized (ie. Comedy, Club Kid, Pageant Queen) What category do you consider yourself to be?
Have you ever experienced stage fright while performing? How did you overcome it?
Have you ever won any titles/awards?
Tell me about some of your (good or bad) backstage experiences with other queens.
Do you do your own hair, makeup, costuming? Or do you have help with some or all of the above?
Tell me about a memorable adventure that you've had that you would not have had if not for drag.
When you're out of drag, what do you do? (ie. Work, fun,etc.)
Tell me anything else that you think might be important for me to know to get inside the head of a drag queen.

If you feel like answering these questions, I greatly appreciate your answers.  You can leave comments below, or email me, Steve at swd8880@yahoo.com. I will also be posting this on Facebook, so answers can be shot to me through my like page, or through my inbox. 

Happy New Year!

Shaunna Rai

The period between Halloween and New Year's, was kind of a slow time for Shaunna Rai. And, it's been an interesting time for me. 

I gave up my job, in an attempt to eliminate some stress from my life.  Of course, immediately, I picked up some new stressors...like being broke, and the search for a new job.  Because, at the moment, the blog isn't making me any money...nor are any of my other talents.

Right around Christmas, though, Shaunna Rai started making appearances again.  The first was for the USM Drag Show. Then, an event at Styxx to promote World Aids Day in affiliation with the Frannie Peabody Center.  This was a bit of a disappointment, because there was very little interest in free testing. Shaunna and I both got tested, and I believe that Vanila did as well. And, the good news is that the tests came back negative.  This was the culmination of a few other events around town with the Peabody Center.  And, gave me more of a human face to the disease.  This of course, makes me sound like I didn't know anyone who has it.  The truth of the matter is, that the event prior to the Styxx event, held at the Salt Museum, was the first time that I heard a first hand experience of what it was like to have it, from the beginning of the epidemic.  It was the first time that I felt like I wanted to do something more to contribute toward finding a cure, or even assisting people who are afflicted with it.

Mercadies Chanel

Christmas came, and this was when Shaunna started really making her weekly appearances around town. Dan has been working less hours, and has had a lot more time at home, to work with wigs.  So, over the last couple months, Shaunna Rai, and Vanila Honey-Bush have gotten new hair.   I got a new camera from my parents for Christmas, so new pictures will be coming.  And, the new pictures have helped me with a new business venture of my own...

The drawings here, are drawings that I have been doing, as commissions for people.  Dan has been encouraging me to do something with my drawings for almost as long as I've known him. And, for the most part, I've avoided it. Why? The same reason that I avoid a lot of things.  Fear.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of having people tell me that I suck.  And, the stupidest fear of all...the fear that I would actually enjoy it, and start drawing again on a regular, full time basis.  And out of them all, the last was the one that has come true. I've drawn more since the start of the new year, than I did the entirety of last year and the year before combined.  Sad but true. Commissions can be requested via my email: swd8880@yahoo.com and can be paid for via paypal using the same email address. Pricing starts at $25, but varies depending on the complexity of the picture.  The drawings will be totally customisable, to the buyer's specifications.

Mizery

Two out of the last 3 weeks, Shaunna Rai has been out of state performing, with the two other queens featured in the drawings, Mercadies Chanel, and Boston's Mizery.  And, she's in fact headed back there this weekend to perform with them again. At the end of the last show, I got a shout out from Mercadies, for the drawings that I had done of her...she called out my name in front of everyone, and told them to check out the drawing that she is using as her profile picture on Facebook, then told them that I am accepting commissions.  It was an awkward, but awesome feeling to hear my name called.

Shaunna Rai will again be performing with Mercadies and Mizery at Club 313 in Manchester, New Hampshire, this Saturday.  She has a show coming up in March, and potentially may have a show on a cruise out of Portland harbor sometime in May.

Her show schedule is starting to fill up, and that means things get a little busier. I kinda love it, because this means I have more to blog about. I never know what to expect.  Shaunna Rai changes up her look all the time. I can't wait to see what she has in store for 2014!