I shall call her "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"

Yesterday marked a big day for me.  I bought a new car.  It's a Pontiac Vibe, 2005, white.  It's the new Dragmobile.  And, it was bought partially, with that purpose in mind.

Previous to this, I'd been thinking that I was going to buy a Mini Cooper, and I would name it Sheldon.  (Big Bang Theory fans should get the reference...)  Anyway, I need to come up with a name for the new Dragmobile...because Dragmobile just sounds...well...blah.  Yeah, kinda Batman-ish, but a car that's going to be used in part (or in full) to transport drag queens, needs a good name.  I mean, they named a bus Priscilla, Queen of the Desert... So, I've got to compete with that.

I've never been one to name my cars.  NEVER.  I never understood the appeal of it.  I never even really understood the idea of calling your car your baby.  Apparently, I've never been as fond of my cars as I should have been.

Anyway, so the idea had been in my head for a while that I needed a new car.  And, this weekend was going to be the weekend that I would take care of it.  It was a pay week.  I had a long weekend, and part of it was off with Dan.  Given that I know very little about cars, other than how to change a headlight, and a tire, and that they're expensive as hell to maintain over long periods of time...especially when they eat your tires...I needed someone who knew a little bit more about cars to go with me.  Because when I go into a car dealership, I end up being the faggy, little queer that everyone knows is a faggy, little queer, and is going to try to sell the most expensive car to.  In other words, I have a body guard/moral support person with me.

Something I learned through this experience, was that I need to learn to stop being so damned wishy-washy, and to listen to advice the first time, instead of having to hear it a hundred times before I take it in.  Since the topic of a new car became an actual topic of conversation, Dan had been telling me, "Go back to Lee. You bought a car from them already, you'll probably get a better deal from them, since YOU ALREADY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP established with them."  Instead, I decided that I needed to try something different. I was going to go with something new that I'd seen on TV.  My Maine Ride was a business out of Bangor, that offers a car, for $300 down, and $50 per week.  Sounds like a great deal.  I'd been pre-approved for a car from them.  The paperwork that I needed was minimal.  But, it was in Bangor.  A 5 hour minimum round trip.  I called them yesterday morning, about trading in my old car, and was given a "We can't guarantee that if you do bring it to trade it, you'll be approved.  But, let us take your number, and we'll see if we can approve you before you come down."  And, I never heard back from them.

So, in the meantime, I figured, "What the hell, I'll try Lee, and just see what they have."  And, of course, I fell in love with a car.  Not, in fact, the car that I ended up with.  They had a blue Jeep Cherokee Laredo, and it looked like it would be in my price range.  So, I called about it.  They were eager to help, from the minute I got on the phone, Adam answered all my questions, and encouraged me to call ahead, so that I would have someone to wait on me when I got there.  So, I did.  I got to Lee Nissan, let them know that I had an appointment with Will, and they got me started.  Along the way, Will handed me off to Scott, and, I'm kind of glad that he did.  Scott was a great guy.  Listened to everything that I needed, and showed me a car that they had just taken into inventory and cleaned, as it fit my criteria.

The car needed to be all around a bit bigger/roomier than my old car (Hyundai Elantra), it needed to have space for large purchases, like it needed to be able to hold a table, if we needed to buy one.  It needed to be higher off the ground than my current car.  And, all around, it needed to make me feel like I'd be safer driving it.  (Dan, Ryan, and anyone else who doesn't appreciate my driving, stop laughing...)  Oh yeah, and did I mention, that it needed to be able to fit, Me, a minimum of two drag queens (more if possible), and all the suitcases, hips, boobs, makeup, outfits, and hair that go along with said drag queens.  (And yes, literally, the first thought after getting into the car, and getting over the fact that the seat was still a little damp, was, yep, I can fit at least 3 drag queens in here.  One in the front, two in the back, (maybe a third, if she was tiny, or just a little person) and all their stuff in the trunk.

The test drive was great.  I've been driving a car around where the front end shakes when you go 65 or over, so, by the time I get to work every day, I feel like a milkshake.  This car doesn't do that.  And, I can see over a lot of the cars on the road...instead of looking up at them.  It was great.  I fell in love.

The paperwork, well, that was a bit of a hard time.  Things got messy, and the trade wasn't going to work.  So, we had to switch gears.  And, my Dragmobile, might be off the table of possibility.  Crap! Now what?  LUNCH.  At this point, what was going to only take an hour or two tops, was going on hour three.  We went to lunch, and I resigned myself to the idea that, I'm not getting a car today.  I spoke with credit people while I ate, gave them information, including the fact that I still apparently have a mortgage in my name, although I don't have a house title in my name...a fact that I was NOT happy about.

When we got back from lunch, we went to wait in the waiting room, and I began to get anxious.  I wanted a car, and I didn't want to wait anymore.  Scott came back, and told me he had good news, but I needed to wait a few before he'd tell me.

Good news! The car that you want, they're willing to work with us, with your price range for it, and you'll be able to get it TODAY.  The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a waiting game, and then just some paper signing.  And then she was mine! My new Dragmobile.  I shall not call her Priscilla, because, honestly, I don't really care much for the name...besides, she's not a BUS.  I could call her Lisa-Marie, because that would be a step down from Priscilla...Or Christina? Celine? Cher? Something gay...for sure.  I just haven't figured out what yet...

Play to your strengths

"She's not a very pretty queen..."
That was me, last episode of RuPaul's Drag Race: The Lost Season, of Tammie Brown.
"She isn't supposed to be.  She's not like a lot of the queens that have been on the more recent seasons.  She sings live, and does stand up.  And, she's herself."
That was Dan.

This of course, launched a conversation about characters.  And a realization that doing drag, you actually have to know yourself quite well.  Because, all of it, is about who you are.  You take the parts of you that are the best, mush them all up together, and put on the costume, and you're most of the way there.  This of course, is a condensed version of what really happens.  Because, let's face it.  You can't just throw on a pair of heels, a wig, and a dress, and have a ready made drag queen. It just doesn't work that way. And, even if it did, from what I've seen, a drag queen is a constantly shifting work of art.

There is no cookie cutter mold to form a drag queen.  What makes this person amazing may not make the next person as amazing.  Do drag queens have to be beautiful? No.  Do they have to be ugly? No.  Do they have to shave all their body hair off? No.  Some do, but others, proudly display the fact that they're a man in a dress, complete with a beard.  It's all part of a persona that they're creating.

This persona, in my mind, is the most important piece of the whole process.  Like anything, it can be a work in progress, for the entire length of the alter ego's life.  But, it's the piece that takes the most work.  The reason for doing drag in the first place may or may not be a part of the character building.  (Shaunna Rai, for example, was originally brought to life as a way to get into bars, because drag performers weren't asked to show ID's.)  Over time, she has made a name for herself, throughout the state of Maine, and into New Hampshire and Massachusetts.  She has developed a reputation as being, "a bitch," a title which she sometimes will display proudly, like in her last show, titled: "The Bitch is Back".  She doesn't mind taking the mic, but she won't sing live. From time to time, she may say bitchy things, but, generally, it's all said in fun.  Shaunna Rai is known for her drinking.  Hell, she even has a drink named after her at Blackstone's, and whatever name Mama's Cabaret is going by these days...I think it's Rumorz(?)

As I have previously established here, the outfits, the wigs, and the shoes are important as well.  And, a lot of thought goes into the outfits that get worn.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that I've gone into a place like Hot Topic, or Spencer's, and Dan has been at work, thinking about, "I could buy two pairs of these stretchy pants, and make them into a body suit." Or, walking through Marden's, looking at fringe, hearing him say, "I think I want a dress made out of that."  This is not always, but sometimes a daily occurrence.

Now that the outfit's picked out, it's time for the hair.  Which hair goes best with this outfit?  (This is the hardest for me to understand...because I think any hair looks good with anything.  But, that's why I'm not the one doing drag.) And, so, the part of the dressing process that every "husband" (drag or otherwise) dreads: "How does this look?" "Would I look better if I wore this other hair with this?" Sometimes my opinion is taken into consideration.  Sometimes, it's not.  Occasionally, the part where I have to give an opinion is skipped altogether.  (I.e.: the outfit was chosen around the hair, instead of the other way around.)


And, finally, which shoes look better?  The question I hate the most.  My stock answer, is "Those look fine."  But, then again, there's question among my gay friends if I'm really gay, because (although I have about 10 pair of shoes), I'm not very good at matching boy shoes with what I'm wearing. Hell, until last year, I didn't know that it was wrong to wear white socks with dress shoes...although, I found that out in a hurry.

Anyway.

My point here, is that while it may look to an outsider like drag is just throwing on a dress, makeup, a wig and those killer heels,it's not as easy as that.  Dan/Shaunna Rai have been asked on occasion to contribute drag wisdom to a "Drag Boot Camp" program that someone Dan knows has been trying to put in place.  While the idea is great, it relies too heavily on the idea that you can pick a queen out of a box, and every queen is going to be the same.

A question that Dan told me about what, "What 5 items should every queen have in their purse?"  Well, it depends on the queen.  I know a queen, who would carry around a rubber chicken, probably, because she uses it on stage in her act.  Shaunna Rai, on the other hand, wouldn't be caught dead with a rubber chicken...she would more than likely have a bottle of Jaegermeister, a bottle of Vodka, and some Red Bull, or have it all pre-mixed in a flask.  (Actually, more likely, she would have a pair of flip flops, a tank top and a pair of shorts, for after the show.)  Sure, hairspray, and makeup would show up in MOST purses, but not every drag queen is going to carry the same things.

Another question that he told me about was something along the lines of "where did your character/alter ego come from?"  Paraphrasing the question, I can get the point across better. How do you know who your character should be?

Let me tell you, the answer that I got when he told me about the question...wooooah....You don't create a character from a box.  You don't just get blessed by the drag fairy, and all of a sudden, you're a queen.  You have to have some idea, starting out, what you want to be.  Choose a genre: Horror, Comedy, Beauty, Musician, whatever.  Choose a character type: if you're going for comedy: Are you stand up? Are you sarcastic humor? Are you going to go for singing dirty parodies of pop songs?

Ok, so you're going for Stand up Comedy queen:  Who are you?  Is your character crazy?  Is your character a single drunk woman, who will sleep with anything with a pulse?  Are you the old lady full of one liners, like Sophia from the Golden Girls?

These are the things you need to know, in order for your character to develop.  Without a backstory for your character, you'll never have the right information for your stand up, for one.  And, by the same token, if you don't know the character, how are you going to find the right outfits?  If you're going for Mama Sophia, a lady in her 80's, more than likely, you're not going to be wearing prom gowns, or bikinis.  You're going to want to camp up the old lady purple hair, and wear the cardigans, and pants pulled up to right under your boobs.  By the same token, if you're going for the drunk single woman, you're going to want to play up the part of being drunk, and single, so you're going to dress a lot sluttier.

Anyway, my point being, drag is a learning process, throughout the lifetime of your character.  You have to have a bit of creativity, to be able to pick out what you're actually good at, and play to your strengths.  Don't try to be RuPaul, or any other queen that you've seen on tv (or in person).  Be yourself.  Know yourself well enough to know what you'll excel with.  And, bring it!  Just remember that you're the only one who will be able to bring out your inner drag queen.

A Cock in a Frock, on a Rock...

When I started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, last year, the biggest question that I had, of all drag queens, was, are all drag queens that bitchy?

From where I stand, the answer is, maybe.

Hear me out.  This is going to be a long post, and most definitely doesn't have a clear answer to the question.

Every movie that I've watched with a drag queen character in it, has had a queen, who over all the other characters, is the bitch.  Throughout the course of the movie, you come to find out the reason that she's such a bitch, is because she's had a shitty life, and that she had to toughen herself up, in order to deal with life.  From my experience, any homo is going to tell you that that's their life story.

Does that give you any particular excuse for being a bitch then?  Not really.

When I started dating Dan, I was terrified of the drag world.  Until I started to really experience what it was like going to shows.  For once in my life, I felt like it didn't matter that I was there. I wasn't anyone's thorn in their side.  And, I was accepted for being the blatant homo that I sometimes feel like I am.  I have never felt more comfortable, than I have being brought in by the drag world.

What happens though, is from time to time, a queen thinks that she's better than anyone else, and starts throwing her weight around.  When this happens, the queens around her, generally go on the defensive.  Usually, with good reason...they're being attacked, or they've been wronged somehow.

Drag queens are the best of both worlds.  They're men, and behave like men, except for when they're being women.  This is an observation, that needs to be taken as such.  Stereotypically, men get pissed off at each other, have it out, and then make up.  It happens.  Stereotypically, women get pissed off at each other, and hold a grudge forever.  Stereotypically, this is common throughout the entire gay world.  It just has been more publicized in the drag world, through the movies, and shows like Drag Race.  According to media, drag queens are the top of the hill when it comes to catty, bitchiness.  And, some of the people that I know personally, have furthered this stereotype, in their behavior.

A rule in life to remember, is that people are always going to talk.  It's one that I learned very early in life.  At 7, I learned a vast majority of the names that kids call kids like I was.  Not a single one of them was nice.  Come to think of it, a lot of the time that I've heard people talk about me, it hasn't been nice.  (Sorry, back on topic)  Oh yeah, my point here was that there's gotta be some kind of conviction behind what's being said.  If you're going to call me a whore, make sure that I'm slutting it up.  Wanna call me sloppy seconds? Take a look at yourself, and check to see whether you're doing better at life than I am.  Because the final result, is going to be that someone's going to get pissed off in the long run, and you better believe that you're going to get a reading like you've never had before.

I don't care who you are, if you say something bad about a person, there's a reason that you said it.  And, alcohol is not an excuse.  You were already thinking it, and the alcohol just cut down on your inhibitions, and let it slide off your tongue.  "I didn't mean it," isn't a reason either.  You did mean it at some point, if those words came out of your mouth.

Now, at this point, it sounds like I'm villifying drag queens, and that is totally NOT my intention.  Because NOT all drag queens are villains.  Drag queens in general, are some of the most caring people that you'll ever meet.  Statistically, according to "The Official Drag Handbook," by Todd Kachinski-Kottmeier (The Infamous Todd), "For every $10 earned for LGBT cause, $8.82 came in through the assistance of a female impersonator." That's a pretty hefty sum, and bear in mind, that is just talking specifically about the LGBT causes.  That doesn't encompass the numerous other charities that these people support.

They may be crass, or they may be classy.  But, one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that when a queen is performing, is the best time.  At Shaunna Rai's last show in Lewiston, I had invited my cousin.  She had said that she wanted to meet Shaunna Rai.  At the time I invited her, I had no idea that there was anything really going on in her life that she would need a break from.  The show was great.  And, after the show, while we were waiting for the girls to get packed back up, I found out how much of a release it was for her to be at the show, instead of dealing with her life.  She needed the cheering up, that drag brought to her.  (Well, not just drag, but Shaunna Rai, and her girls...)

My point, is this.  Drag queens have a reputation of being bitchy, because they sometimes can be.  But, there's so much more to a queen than a bitchy attitude.  There's creativity, there's grace, there's humor.  There's a sense of community, and a need to give back.  And, most importantly, there's the ability to make a person feel welcome, when that person has felt shut out all of their life.

So, are all queens that bitchy?  No.  But, some are.  And, I think that will never change. 

Wigging Out

Living with a hairdresser, who also happens to be a drag queen, and having a roommate who is also a drag queen, I'm surrounded by hair, and talk of hair all the time  The're re are mannequin heads around the house, with various stages of wigs, or hairpieces, or whatever.  Given the fact that I'm a balding person, it's kind of a mean reminder of the fact that my hair is rapidly migrating from my head. 

 When I first met Dan, he let me know that it was possible that he could "give me hair." The idea at the time, seemed foolish to me.  Everyone already knew that I was balding, and so it would be quite obvious that I had done something to my head, if I just mysteriously showed up with hair at work one day.  He never pushed for me to do it.  He just let me know that it was an option, and that if I changed my mind, that he'd be willing to let me try it out.  Given that this is what he does for his life's work, it was a great offer.  And, an offer that I considered very carefully, for a long time.  

So, I finally decided to give it a shot. At worst, I would hate it and want to take it off. At best, I'd love it.

The day came to do it and i was more than ready for it to happen. As I have been nearly bald for a long time, it was a bit weird sitting through a "real" haircut. And seeing how much hair came off the hairpiece surprised me. I'd forgotten how much hair the average person actually has.

When he told me it was done, I was scared to see the final product.  I knew I would look different.  I just didn't know what to think. Because,  at this point, my thin hair had all been shaved off. So I was either going to be really bald or I was going to have to live with hair I didn't like until the rest of it grew back.

Fortunately,  everything worked out fine. The new hair looks great. It still feels weird having hair when I previously haven't. 

The same day we went to Boston, for something to do. As a way to break in the new hair without running into anyone that we knew. 

Well, that and, now that I had my new hair, it was time for Shaunna Rai to get some new hair too. She ended up getting two new wigs in Boston. 

The big test with my hair came on Monday. Over the weekend the response to my hair pictures had been good. But it was the coworkers' response that scared me most. These are the people I see every day. If they didn't like it, I'd never hear the end of it. Thankfully, they all liked it too. Although, a couple of people didn't even recognize me!

Overall, it was one of my better decisions. And now i have my own hair that I get to wear. And I can stop being jealous of the fact that Shaunna Rai and Vanila Honey-Bush have a ton more hair than me.

Today for You, Tomorrow for Me

In the fall of 1997, I heard the first of a play called RENT. At the time,  I knew nothing of it. Just the name. As a Senior in high school,  I chose to blow off a trip to France for a trip to NYC. I never actually saw RENT until a year or so later.

RENT was a show unlike anything that I knew of. It spoke to me...in a matter of speaking. (Haha)

Ultimately,  it was my first exposure to adulthood.  But more important,  to drag queens. Angel will forever hold a place in my heart as the first drag queen I fell in love with.

I saw RENT with my friend Lynne. And afterwards,  I told her that I could relate to it. Although,  the how at that time I was still working out.

Fast forward a few years...

I was working with kids. And I passed the torch,  accidentally.  Most of "my kids" would say that RENT was good for them. It helped in some small way to make things make sense. And it brought us together. Obviously, this play has had a lot of impact on me.

During the roughest patch of my life, it was absent.  More because I'd forgotten I had it than anything else. At the time I most needed to connect,  I detached.  I'd forgotten my old friend Angel and her carefree love, when I should have turned toward it to help me remember to always put love first.

My point, is that RENT popped back into my life. One of my kids told me it was playing in Waldoboro. And if that wasn't enough, my friend Elizabeth was in it. She wanted to surprise Elizabeth,  with me. And we did.

The show was good. Collins was amazing.  Angel was great. And since they're my characters, they were the ones I needed to have be good. I'll admit,  I had low expectations, since it was a community theater production.  But, it reminded me. I love the show. I love the music. And I love Angel.

And I need to remain connected to people in real life, in a way that can't be achieved via the internet.

Why Can't You Be a Real Boy... and ...If I Were a Girl...

One of the worst, most hurtful things that I've heard Dan talk about in the past, was how exes wanted him to give up drag and be a "real man".  And, I've always thought that they were douchebags for saying that to him.  So, imagine my surprise, when I was driving home from work last night, thinking that I understood the reasoning behind them saying it, because I was saying it myself (to myself).

The thought that I was being like his exes, whether in person OR in my head, scared me.  And, it made me think about what the real issue was, and who the issue was really with.

I have no issue with Dan as himself, or Dan as Shaunna Rai.  The real issue, is with myself.  I'm jealous of the attention that Dan gets, in or out of drag.  And, I'm jealous that he's enough of a chameleon to be able to fit in, as either gender.  He's a people person...I'm not.  Everyone knows him...people know me, but mostly only as his boyfriend.  Dan and I were talking a couple days ago about the fact that I don't have a great sense of style and know little about certain grooming habits (like ironing).  And, I made the joke that I needed a teacher to be gay enough to be gay.

And, that was when it hit me.  When I realized that I had hit a nerve myself, with my own self-deprecating joke, it dawned on me that it was all on me.  I'm not gay enough to be gay, but not straight enough to pass as straight.

I was terrified to even write this, because of how it might be taken.  So, I actually discussed the theme before a word even went down.

The funniest thing was that it took a dose of drag shopping to snap me back to reality.  Or, at least, to make me remember what it is that I like about the whole drag thing.  And, to make me remember that I have a boyfriend who is patient enough to explain things to me that confuse the hell out of me.

We went shopping, initially for lashes this morning, for Shaunna Rai's show at Mama's Cabaret, in Lewiston, tonight.  And, so, even though we've been together for 8 months, I still don't have a clue about some things...like makeup.  I found the coolest eyeshadow ever...and pointed it out to him...and he reminded me that it was actually nail polish...and the polka dots in it, were glitter.  Then, there was the glittery makeup that turned out to be a compact.  And, the mix of stained glass foundation....that one confused the hell out of me...why would you want 17 different colors in tiny amounts?  Because they all blend together, to give an all around even tone to your skin.  (Yeah, I'm that much of an idiot that I had to ask.)

While he goes through, looking at things, I tend to be attracted to the bright colors and shiny things.  In other words, the nails/nail polish.  So, I was looking at something gaudy, and we started talking about the fact that it was a good thing that I didn't do drag, because I would be a gaudy drag queen.  Dan of course, was like, "Well, it takes all kinds.  I wouldn't want everyone to look like me, and I wouldn't want to look like everyone else."

Point made, point taken.  And, suddenly, it all clicked into place.  I understand drag, just a little bit better now, than I have up to this point.

Through the conversation about the fact that I would totally wear neon colored nails with rhinestones, and glitter, I realized that I would be a gaudy queen.  And, I would go to that extreme, because in real life, I'm more conservative in how I dress, and what I do.  I mean, come on, for years, I wouldn't wear solid colors because they were too bright...and I still have a hard time wearing a screen printed t-shirt, because I want people to notice me, but not what I am a walking billboard for.

Drag is less about looking like a girl (or boy, in the case of drag kings) than it is about doing something outside the norm.  It's about stepping outside of what's "comfortable" and breaking down the walls of the box that you build around yourself.  It's (to some degree) about promoting acceptance by showing that conformity isn't the only thing there is.

While the dressing up thing isn't for me, I love going to the shows.  I love seeing Shaunna Rai and the other girls perform.  I love taking pictures, so that I have a record of what I'm seeing.  So, yeah, I'm jealous.  Yeah, there are some days when I'm just like UGH!!! But, in the long run, if it makes Dan happy to be Shaunna Rai, that's important.  It's not my place to ever say, I don't think you should any more.  And anyone who would say that, really is a douchebag.  

The Fame and the Infamy...

While trying to make a name for themselves, some people let nothing stand in the way of their imminent fame.  This is true of anyone, not just drag queens.  Whether you're scratching and clawing, or blowing your way to the top, eventually, the plan is to get to the top.  The goal, to be the name on everyone's lips.  (Essentially, the plot of the play/movie Chicago).  

Being a "Drag Husband", I haven't got to worry, really, about making a name for myself.  My "name" was dubbed, the minute I started officially dating Dan and Shaunna Rai.  I'm the one carrying the bags, and taking the pictures.  And, getting teased on the mic, during the shows...to the tune of being threatened with "doggy-style" not just once, or twice, but three times, in one show, in front of my parents... 

Shaunna Rai, has a bit more infamy, than I do.  After the show I was just talking about, the owner of the venue expressed gratefulness to Dan for not being a bitch about the way the show ran.  And, it's surprised me how many people think that Shaunna Rai really is a bitch.  And, by extension1 of personality, that Dan is too.  The thing with the two of them, is that they're the same person, figuratively, and literally.  Nothing is off limits, and they're both going to tell things the way they really are, like it or not.  

Over the course of the past few months, I've watched people develop either their own personal fame, or infamy, or in some cases both.  

A couple months ago, literally a couple days after we moved, was the Miss Blackstones pageant.  Given that it's a local "pageant", I knew all the contestants.  Desta Toot, Tatoola Tess Tosterone, and Vanila Honey-Bush.  As Vanila is my roommate, I was rooting for her. Although, I was going to be happy for whoever won, because I was friendly with them all.

After the crowning of Vanila Honey-Bush, though, everything hit the fan.  There were claims that the show was rigged.  And, worse, there were some personal attacks.  Since then, I believe that the air has been cleared, but seeing something so fun turn into something so nasty, kinda bothered me.

On the other hand, the shows that Taffy Pulls did over the course of the run of RuPaul's Drag Race, cemented her place as a "famous" local queen. At least in my mind.  Though the shows were sometimes disorganized, they managed to keep the "craziness" of Taffy's drag personality.

And, that's just on a personal level.  On a less personal, and more "national" level, RuPaul made, and broke some queens.  Truthfully, I think there are more "names" made on Drag Race than are broken.  I just find it interesting, that names that come onto the show, whether well known, or unknown are victimized, or villified by way of editing, and poor choice of conversation.  In this past season of RPDR, I was positive, that Roxxxy Andrews was going to make it, as the winner.  

Due to some poor choices of when to talk and when to keep her mouth shut, Roxxxy ended up being villified.  And, Jinkx Monsoon ended up taking it all.  Why?  Jinkx was victimized because of what Roxxxy said.  And, however the vote from fans was figured, it was very much influenced by the "bullying" of Roxxxy.  Would we have had the same results if Roxxxy had not chosen to "bully" Jinkx?  Hard telling. We'll never know, because that's the nature of the beast.  But, it's possible.  

As Dan is fond of saying, "Perception is reality."  You can make yourself famous, or infamous.  But, you're nothing without the people who make you what you're going to be, for it's they, who make you famous, or infamous...or both.

A Real Queen Would've Noticed if She Lost a Shoe

Over the weekend, I was introduced to the movie To Wong Foo. To say the least, it was an experience. Watching a movie about drag with two drag queens...well, let's just say, they had a lot to say about it.

But, before we get to what they had to say, let me set the stage. When I woke up on Sunday, Ryan was watching Blade, with Wesley Snipes. Halfway through the movie, a conversation starts. "You know, after he did To Wong Foo, he bought all the memorabilia, and burnt it. And then started doing all these macho man movies..." (I have yet to Google that to see if it's true.) Which, in turn, turned into, "You seriously haven't seen it before?"

And, so it was decided that I would go find a copy of it to watch. Done, and done.

The fact that I am starting to recognize famous drag queens scares me a little...Lady Bunny, RuPaul, Miss Coco Peru...just to name a few.

And, then, the main characters: Miss Vida Boheme, Miss Noxeema Jackson and ChiChi Rodriguez. Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo, respectively.

Road trip movies are fun. And, make me a little bit jealous, because I haven't really been anywhere.

However, the first lesson I learned, watching the movie: Real drag queens don't dress in drag for indefinite periods of time. Next: if you're wearing heels, you're going to notice if you lose one, because one leg will be shorter than the other. Next: Queens don't go to bed in full face...however, they may go in partial face, aka Drag Lag. And finally, don't piss off a Drag Queen.

And the lessons I learned from the movie? Be nice to people, tell the truth, and, did I mention, don't piss off a Drag Queen!

I didn't know what to really think about it, because, Hollywood tends to play up the camp and ignore the serious stuff. So, I expected the comedy part. What I didn't expect was the crazy abusive menfolk and how they were dealt with. I haven't laughed as much as I did in a while.

Overall, it was a great movie. And, one that I will probably watch again. And, definitely in the company of queens!

Five Personalities and One Home to Rule Them All

It's been forever since the last update. Part of this has been laziness on my part. But, part has been that we moved. I write this, currently, from my Kindle, leeching off the WiFi of an unknown neighbor. (Thanks unknown neighbor, for having insecure .)

So, anyway, for a while, I thought that the move wasn't even going to happen. My lease was coming up, and all the places that we'd checked out online or in person, were either really skeevy, or they just never got back to us. So when the response from this place came, I wasn't holding my breath.

We checked the place out, and I was ready to move in immediately. Well, except for the fact that the previous tenants hadn't moved yet. Within the first few minutes of viewing the apartment, it was decided that the third "bedroom" would henceforth be known as the drag room.

Since the move, I've had somewhat of a love/hate relationship with that room. The first few days after we moved in, the only topic of conversation was the drag room and how great it was going to be. As it is a room that is not exactly off limits to me, it's   a room that I tend to avoid. It's Dan and Ryan, and Shaunna Rai and Vanila's space. And, for the first week or two that we were here, there was a mannequin head with a wig in the hallway window, staring out at anyone coming in the front door. The very definition of freaky.

Since the move, I've seen the room in action. As an actual prep area for "painting" and as a closet. I have seen outfits and hair that I had previously not seen. There are crowns that sparkle and look pretty. And, on the days that I come home from work, and the girls are getting ready to go out, I'm greeted at the door by the smell of the makeup powders. It's a smell, that, at first, I was unsure about. And, now, it's comforting, like the smell of freshly baked bread.

Something Fishy This Way Comes

The last month has been a bit crazy, between all of Shaunna Rai's shows, and my own personal stuff.  I gave notice at a job I hated, and then left a week earlier than I said I would.  I started a new job, working in the sales/marketing department of a major bank.  And, I outed myself, to not only the other new hires in my training class, but also a group of new hires from Cleveland.

I made something of a celebrity of myself, and Shaunna Rai by doing so.  The instructor asked each person to name a fun fact about themselves.  So, figuring that a lot of people would talk about pets, or kids and such, I wanted something that would stand out. SO, I decided to put it out there that two of my closest friends (Dan and Ryan) are Drag Queens.  The instructor's response was that this was "The BEST" fun fact she had ever heard, and she was still talking about it days later.

But, by outing myself, I made a connection with a couple of people in my class.  Which, was sort of the goal.  At lunch, that afternoon, I started talking to an older woman (in her 50's, so older than me, but not old, by any means) about her kids.  She told me that one of her sons is a drag queen in California.  She then proceeded to pull out her phone, and show me Trendy Wendy's Facebook photos.  Score one for a cool mom.  I mean, really, this woman worked for the Navy for years, so, kudos for that! But, to be cool enough, and proud enough to show off pictures of your adult child in drag? Well, some drag queens just aren't that lucky.

I've also heard from another girl (younger than me), about a friend of hers, who is a transman.  She was there as a friend, to support him, in his transition, and saw the transformation, along the way.

Anyway, so I came home from work the other night, and told Dan about Trendy Wendy's mother, and the fact that she told me to stalk Wendy's page.  So, I did.  And, I looked at pictures with Dan.  And, he said something to the effect of "She's fishy."

In my former life, this would have meant one of two things: either, she stinks like a fish market, OR there's something off about her.  Neither of which anyone would want to hear about themselves.  Fortunately, with all the drag talk, and RuPaul's Drag Race, I've learned that Fishy also has another meaning...Very Feminine.  In drag and trans(woman) terms, the more fishy you are, the better, because it means that you look feminine without really trying hard.

To be a little more descriptive about what I mean:  in my world, there are (forgive me for a rough generalization) three classifications of drag queen makeup.

1. Gimmick makeup: Makeup done specifically for a reaction.  Taffy Pulls would be a good example of this class.  Her makeup tends to be pale, with bold eye shadow, and bright lipstick, that may or may not be applied properly.  (It's meant to look badly done, because that's the gimmick.)  Detox's Black and White for the season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Jinkx Monsoon's Sugar Skull would both also fall into this category.

2. Regular Drag Makeup:  I'm sure there is probably a "real" name for it, but, this is my blog, and I'm just trying to classify in my own terms, what I'm thinking.  Regular Drag Makeup tends to, in person look extremely severe.  The highlights are very light, and the contouring (shading) is very dark.  A lot of the queens I know fall into this category.

3. Fishy Makeup: Fishy makeup, is the look that queens like Trendy Wendy go for, more of a "barely there" look.  Think along the lines of a magazine advertisement...you look at the picture, and see a beautiful face...and you think of "Oh, they have makeup on," after the fact.