Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy

You would think that the nights of a drag show are the most fun for me.  While I enjoy them, this is mostly false.  The drag nights that are the most fun, are the impromptu, "I just wanna be pretty" nights. Friday night, was one such night.

The reason I enjoy these nights, more than drag shows, is because there's a lot less stress involved.  Every show night, there's the "Which outfits/wigs/accessories do I need to bring? Does my makeup look amazing? Am I drop dead gorgeous?" The stress leads to snappiness, and a general time where I avoid saying/doing anything, and making myself scarce.  If there's one thing that I've learned, in the past year, it's that you on't argue with a queen.  It's not in your best interest.

On, "I just wanna be pretty nights," all of that stress is gone.  The hardest decisions are still, what outfit and hair am I going to wear? But, there's not the same sense of urgency, to painting, and getting dressed up to go out.

Anyway, partway through the day, we decided that we were going to go out. And, then we were contacted by Andy, our new friend, who I talked about last time. It was his partner's birthday on Friday. So, the night on the town, was going to turn into a birthday party! What fun.

I'd deposited my check earlier in the day, so I figured that it was going to be all set.  When the girls started painting, I'd go out, and pick up a cake, and get a little extra money for drinks, and, everything would be all set.  I picked up the cake, and a couple of other things, and headed to the checkout.  The lines were full of people with carts full of crap.  And, here I am, with 3 things.  And, I hate lines. I hate shopping, in general, unless I can get in and out in less than 10 minutes. Finally, the lady in front of me gets up to the conveyor belt, and then says, "You go ahead of me." Shocked? Yes. People don't do that anymore.  I thanked her profusely, and then went to pay for my purchases.  I ran my card, and asked for cash back. And, it declined.  And, I started to freak out a little.  I ran it again, without the cash back, and it went through.  Weird, but okay.  At least I could leave now.  I thanked the lady again, and wished her a good evening.

I finally, decide, before I go home, I'm going to check the ATM, and see what's going on with my deposit?  And, it's not there.  I can't find anywhere that I actually deposited money into my account, despite the fact that I have a receipt from the teller saying that I did.  And, so I start panicking.  What the hell happened to the money?

I got home, and at this point, I'm freaking out.  And, I kinda exploded.  I was ready to murder the teller, for stealing my money, and the person who tried cutting me off on the way home. And, I just can't think at this point. Dan tells me, call the bank.  Nothing's going to get taken care of if you're just yelling about it.  Half an hour later, I'm actually talking to someone from the bank, who says, "Yes, the money was deposited into your account, the system just hasn't updated yet. It'll be there at midnight."  And, I'm just all like, I don't even get it, because I've never had NONE of my check available use immediately.

Anyway, Shaunna Rai finally was ready, with her new hair, that she had literally only had for hours, before wearing it.  And, we were on our way to Blackstones to meet Andy and Tommy.  Before they arrived, I talked to JR, about hiding the cake, and getting utensils, and paper plates...because it never crossed my mind to pick them up while I was out...not that I would have been able to afford them anyway.  The boys showed up, and we chatted for a while, and then it was time to bring out the cake.

I went and got the cake, and brought it out with candles lit, and people started singing.  I remembered from my birthday, when I walked in, and everyone sang to me.  And, as I'm walking, I hear the people who know them, say, "Happy Birthday, dear Tommy," and this one guy, on the other side of me, singing, "Happy Birthday, Dear Gay Guy." And, at that point, I realized that I'd had enough to drink to actually relax...which is something difficult enough for me to do.  I just let loose after that.  I felt bad, because I bought a cake that I knew I wouldn't be able to eat, because of my gluten thing...but I knew that it would be bad if I had cake, period.

The night seemed to fly by.  The girls were doing their usual mingling.  And, I was chatting with people.  I was hit with "So, you really thought that we were ax murderers?" Because of my last blog.  Truth is, I think everyone's an ax murderer, until they prove to me otherwise.  But, that's neither here nor there.  I learned about the heirarchy of Bitch, and the way to use it...  "You aren't a bitch just because you can be.  You're a bitch, because they deserve it. And, you don't try to out-bitch those who have paved the way for you to dress in drag, because you will be taken down."  (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the picture.)

At some point, I had had a bit more to drink than I should have, and became a nuisance.  Our local "Tina Turner" Thomas, went into his dance, when Proud Mary came on.  And, I had had just enough to drink, to think that he just wanted to dance.  And, I just wanted to dance.  And, yeah... it wasn't pretty.  Or so, I hear.

At the end of the night, we went to Denny's with the birthday boy, and his other half.  I don't remember much from that point.  I remember eating, and drinking my coke.  At some point, the girls took pictures with someone at Denny's.  I think they said the winner of the 80's night at Bubba's.  And, some girl said later to Shaunna Rai, that she liked her hair, and asked if she could touch it, and Shaunna Rai ripped the wig off, and held it out to her.  Most of this, I heard about yesterday, because I didn't remember it.

I knew that I'd had too much of a good time, when I woke up yesterday though. The first words out of my mouth, were, "I have a head...and it hurts." But, it was totally worth it.  The boys had fun. The girls had fun, and most of all, I had fun.  

Upcoming Events for 2014

Because I happen to live with both Shaunna Rai, and Vanila Honey-Bush, I promote for both of them, and other friends.  Here's what's coming up in the next few months:

And these are the ones that have passed:

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

I Don't Know How to Thank You...

Danielle Renee Phillips

So, last night, was the benefit show, at Blackstones, to raise money for the victims of last Sunday's fire on Irving Street.  With less than a week's notice, I wasn't sure what to expect for a crowd.  Shaunna, Vanila, Dan, Ryan and I were promoting via Facebook, as was Blackstones.

Vanila Honey-Bush

We got there early, as the show itself was early in the night.  There was a good sized crowd.  And, as it got closer to show time, the crowd grew a bit.

The girls mingle with the crowd, on show nights, before shows.  It's an awesome way to build a fan base, and let people get to know who you are.  And, to show that you're a real person under all the masking of drag.  So, while the ladies were mingling, I was finding my usual seat, to get the best pictures during the show.  This is normally the time, when I get all anti-social, and only talk to people I know, and avoid contact with everyone that I don't know, in hopes that they'll leave me alone. (I say that half joking, because I know subconsciously that's exactly what I do.)

Shaunna Rai

For whatever reason, though, last night was a different night for me.  A guy I didn't know, started chatting with me.  He kinda buttered me up, and made me talk to him, by telling me that I was the best looking thing in the bar. (It was nice to hear...) I got nervous, so I immediately brought up the fact that I am not a single man. He continued the conversation, and it was a nice change. A good way to experiment with breaking out of my comfort zone.  He eventually moved on, to order a drink, and continue making his way through the bar.

Cherry Lemonade

It turns out, that the lady who was sitting next to me, was there in support of her brother...one of the victims of the fire.  She and I spent a bit of time talking.  She was impressed that the community would pull together something like this.  And, said that her brother couldn't believe that the queens would put on a show, to help raise money to help him out.  The final count, I believe that I heard from Dan, was $500 was raised to help out the fire victims, both from raffles, and tips that the queens received.

Danielle Renee Phillips

During, and after the show, I spent some time getting to know a couple who has recently moved to Maine, who had friended Shaunna Rai on Facebook.  Andy and Tommy were really good company, after the show, while Shaunna Rai was off mingling again.  They were friendly, and nice.  You know, all the qualities that I look for in people who I'm hoping aren't going to turn out to be ax murderers.  (Just kidding.  My list of qualities that I look for in an ax murderer is much, much, much longer than that.)

Cherry Lemonade

 I personally want to thank everyone who came out to support the show, because this is the kind of thing that helps us to remind people that we're good guys too.  Aside from our witty sarcasm, and anal sex, the gay community, is known for their contributions to charitable causes.  And, given that we as a community raised $500 in one night, we were on our game.

Shaunna Rai

 And, I want to thank Ralph, the owner of Blackstones.  Every time he sees me without my camera, when I'm out with Shaunna and Vanila, he asks me where it is.  This time, I actually got vouchers for free drinks.  It was a very sweet gesture, given that while I do promote shows, I don't do nearly as much promotion for the bar as Shaunna and Dan do.

Vanila Honey-Bush

 Contrary to what usually happens, it was an early night.  I had to work at 5am, so bed was calling my name.  As was a gluten free half pizza, that I hadn't eaten at lunch.

A Part of My Childhood Has Died...Literally

I know I owe you guys a blog article about the show at Blackstones, from last weekend.  And, it's in the process of being written.  Or, at least it was, until I heard about the passing of a friend's mother.  The news kind of took all the wind out of my sails, and has kept me kind of quiet.

How do you write about a woman who was practically a second mother to you?  How do you impress upon the world how big an impact someone has had on you, just by being a part of your life?

I first met Mrs. Eaton, roughly around the time that we moved to Warren. I was 5 back then.  She lived in the house up on the hill, from my parents' house.  She was the mother to Ari and Alyssa...although, Alyssa at that point, hadn't been born yet.

I spent so much time at Crystal's house...although, growing up, it was always Ari's house, never Crystal and Ed's. Because, you never think that way when you're a kid.  You always go to your friends' houses, never their parents.  You only go to the parents' houses, when you're older, and start dating, and it gets serious. We even spent time at their house, when we weren't supposed to be...like the one time that we went to see Ari, and Crystal had gone shopping, and Ed was at work...and the doors were just unlocked, so we went in to hang out.  We got in trouble.  But, we were allowed back.

I loved spending time there, because it was so much different than at home.  The atmosphere was so much different.  Crystal was like the anti-mom to my mom. She smoked, she would have a drink every night, while my mom partook in neither.  The house always smelled like a combination of woodstove and cigarette smoke, and though it has never been confirmed for me, a scent that I swear is a fully female scent.

I remember Crystal being pregnant with Alyssa.
I remember the night that we spent at Ari's house, with my parents, because Crystal's father had passed away.

And then, I grew up.  And, I went away to school, and then made a life for myself.  Or at least, I thought at the time that I had...I'm still working on that, in general.  I played some of the same Facebook games as Crystal, and we were friends on Facebook.  But, aside from the occasional, "Hey, can you send me this, or that?" or a comment on a picture, or the yearly, "Happy Birthday!" I lost contact with her.

When I first heard that she had Cancer, I was terrified for her, and for the entire family. Most of the families that I grew up around had a strong maternal head.  Crystal was that.  And she beat it.  And then, it came back.  And, it got worse.  And, I never knew what to say, because I knew that nothing I could say, could make it go away.  So, I said nothing.  In my heart, I prayed that there would be a miracle for her, and that it would just magically be gone.  And, she never knew that.

Crystal sadly, lost her fight on Monday, January 27th.  She was 49.  I never told her how much I loved and respected her for everything that she did for us when I was a kid.

So, how do you tell the world about someone that they'll never know, and get across the point of why they should've known her?  I'm hoping it's like this.  You lay yourself bare, and write through the tears.  You remember everything good that you ever knew about her.  You focus on the fact that she was a parent...though not my own...who has that parental intuition.  And, hope that some of that kicked in, and that she somehow knew how much she meant to me.

What's Community Got to Do With It?

The gay community as a whole, tends to be a little more giving than your average community.  Part of this, is that there is more disposable income.  Part of this, is that we tend to band together to support our own.  This however, can be a double edged sword for the community.  If we're banding together for the right reasons, we can make things happen.  We can raise money for our causes.  We can donate enough food to stock a food pantry, completely, without the help of our hetero friends and family.

Tomorrow night, at Blackstone's, at 9pm, there is a benefit drag show.  Four of the Portland favorites will be performing, and there's potential for some other guests. Vanila Honey-Bush, Shaunna Rai, Danielle Renee Phillips, and Cherry Lemonade will be the performers for the evening.

Blackstone's shows are usually on Sundays, with JR playing DJ and bartender.  So, why on a Saturday?

Last Sunday, Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush and I went to Styxx, to watch the Lip Synch For Your Life event, with DJ Cherry Lemonade. While there, between making fun of the performers, OR being surprised at how well they'd done, I happened to check my Facebook.  Front and center, there was a story about a house in Portland that was ablaze as of 9:30pm.  Now we'd just left the house, prior to that. There was a non-descript picture of where it was.  And, for a minute, I thought, "God, that could be our place." And, I quickly ran through my memory, to make sure that I remembered blowing out all the candles, and everything before we left.

Anyway, we came home to a home.  Some others in our community were not so lucky.  Three of our own were living in the building that had caught fire.

The show tomorrow night, is a benefit for those who were not as lucky as we were, to be able to come home to a home.  There will be a 50/50 and raffles. And, I encourage anyone who will be in the area tomorrow, to come out for this show.  Help us show those effected that we're behind them, and willing to help them out.  And, help us prove again, why the drag community is among the top of the fund raisers in the LGBT community as a whole.  

Fact Finding Mission...

Back in the days BDS (Before Dan and Shaunna) I ran a little webcomic, called Got Pride? It was an homage to everything queer that I could come up with. And, a story about my family life...more or less. I did very little research into some of the stuff that I tackled. One of the unfinished, unresolved stories that I started was the transitioning of a transgendered character.  Why was it unfinished? Well, for the most part, I don't know what it's like to be transgendered.  Nor did I know anyone who identified as transgendered, who I could ask, in order to do some research, and actually get the story right.

I may take that story back up someday.  I just need to find some people who I can collaborate with, to get it right.  Because, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot more to the story than just deciding one day as a woman that you're going to go to CVS, buy hair clippers, hair dye, and men's clothes, and boom, you're a man. I've heard that it's an easier transition than the transition from male to female, but, still.  I handled it ignorantly, and then wrote the character off, because I knew I didn't know, what I didn't know.

That being said, with the successful interest in the drawings that I have been doing on commissions, it got me back in the mindset of, I want to tell a story.  But, I don't want it to be my story.  I want it to be the story of a drag queen.  Or a group of queens.  It'll tell about what it's like to be a boy, and a girl, without having to deal with all the stresses of telling the transition story...at least at first.  Because as I've noticed throughout my year living with Dan, the transgender community is intertwined with that of the drag community. (And, yes, I'm still quite ignorant about the trans community, so I'm going to get things wrong, and apologize in advance.)

What I decided this time though, is that I need to do my research first.  I want to know the experience of being a drag queen, through a drag queen's eyes. (And, if any transgendered people want to help me research their side of things, I'd love to hear that as well.)  So, I've come up with a list of questions that I'm hoping will help me get some answers that will help me decide if I really can go through with the comic/graphic novel about drag life.  As of now, it's all still in planning.  No set characters, no storyline (as such), just an idea in my head that I need help figuring out how to best get it on paper.

So, the list of questions, in no particular order:

How did you get your start in drag?
How did you get your drag name?
What is your favorite part of doing drag?
Queens tend to get categorized (ie. Comedy, Club Kid, Pageant Queen) What category do you consider yourself to be?
Have you ever experienced stage fright while performing? How did you overcome it?
Have you ever won any titles/awards?
Tell me about some of your (good or bad) backstage experiences with other queens.
Do you do your own hair, makeup, costuming? Or do you have help with some or all of the above?
Tell me about a memorable adventure that you've had that you would not have had if not for drag.
When you're out of drag, what do you do? (ie. Work, fun,etc.)
Tell me anything else that you think might be important for me to know to get inside the head of a drag queen.

If you feel like answering these questions, I greatly appreciate your answers.  You can leave comments below, or email me, Steve at swd8880@yahoo.com. I will also be posting this on Facebook, so answers can be shot to me through my like page, or through my inbox. 

Happy New Year!

Shaunna Rai

The period between Halloween and New Year's, was kind of a slow time for Shaunna Rai. And, it's been an interesting time for me. 

I gave up my job, in an attempt to eliminate some stress from my life.  Of course, immediately, I picked up some new stressors...like being broke, and the search for a new job.  Because, at the moment, the blog isn't making me any money...nor are any of my other talents.

Right around Christmas, though, Shaunna Rai started making appearances again.  The first was for the USM Drag Show. Then, an event at Styxx to promote World Aids Day in affiliation with the Frannie Peabody Center.  This was a bit of a disappointment, because there was very little interest in free testing. Shaunna and I both got tested, and I believe that Vanila did as well. And, the good news is that the tests came back negative.  This was the culmination of a few other events around town with the Peabody Center.  And, gave me more of a human face to the disease.  This of course, makes me sound like I didn't know anyone who has it.  The truth of the matter is, that the event prior to the Styxx event, held at the Salt Museum, was the first time that I heard a first hand experience of what it was like to have it, from the beginning of the epidemic.  It was the first time that I felt like I wanted to do something more to contribute toward finding a cure, or even assisting people who are afflicted with it.

Mercadies Chanel

Christmas came, and this was when Shaunna started really making her weekly appearances around town. Dan has been working less hours, and has had a lot more time at home, to work with wigs.  So, over the last couple months, Shaunna Rai, and Vanila Honey-Bush have gotten new hair.   I got a new camera from my parents for Christmas, so new pictures will be coming.  And, the new pictures have helped me with a new business venture of my own...

The drawings here, are drawings that I have been doing, as commissions for people.  Dan has been encouraging me to do something with my drawings for almost as long as I've known him. And, for the most part, I've avoided it. Why? The same reason that I avoid a lot of things.  Fear.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of having people tell me that I suck.  And, the stupidest fear of all...the fear that I would actually enjoy it, and start drawing again on a regular, full time basis.  And out of them all, the last was the one that has come true. I've drawn more since the start of the new year, than I did the entirety of last year and the year before combined.  Sad but true. Commissions can be requested via my email: swd8880@yahoo.com and can be paid for via paypal using the same email address. Pricing starts at $25, but varies depending on the complexity of the picture.  The drawings will be totally customisable, to the buyer's specifications.

Mizery

Two out of the last 3 weeks, Shaunna Rai has been out of state performing, with the two other queens featured in the drawings, Mercadies Chanel, and Boston's Mizery.  And, she's in fact headed back there this weekend to perform with them again. At the end of the last show, I got a shout out from Mercadies, for the drawings that I had done of her...she called out my name in front of everyone, and told them to check out the drawing that she is using as her profile picture on Facebook, then told them that I am accepting commissions.  It was an awkward, but awesome feeling to hear my name called.

Shaunna Rai will again be performing with Mercadies and Mizery at Club 313 in Manchester, New Hampshire, this Saturday.  She has a show coming up in March, and potentially may have a show on a cruise out of Portland harbor sometime in May.

Her show schedule is starting to fill up, and that means things get a little busier. I kinda love it, because this means I have more to blog about. I never know what to expect.  Shaunna Rai changes up her look all the time. I can't wait to see what she has in store for 2014!

Halloween: A Day for Drag, Hobgoblins, and Everything in Between

Ever since I was little, Halloween hasn't really been a holiday that held much interest for me.  Aside from the candy, there was no draw to it for me.  So, when this year's Halloween came around, I viewed it with a more open mind than usual.  Because, really, who's going to be the stick in the mud saying no to a drag queen on the one night of the year that people are going out of their way to become drag queens?

The thought had crossed my mind that I wanted nothing to do with Halloween, because it's never been any fun for me.  I've always had to work, and any time that I was invited to any kind of party, it was either while I was working, or I just wasn't in the mood to go.  And, the opportunity presented itself to go to two Halloween parties, along with two drag shows. And, I was going to be free to go to all of them.  What magic is this?

After realizing that the different parties meant that I should probably have different costumes, I kinda started to panic.  The idea of one costume was scary enough.  Three or four? Oh my.

I spent the first part of the Halloween season picking over costumes at Marden's and Party City, hoping that a costume would just jump out on me, and BOOM! I'd know what I wanted to be.  Unfortunately, life doesn't really work that way.  So, I'd pick up a piece here and there, and hope that I could figure out what I wanted to do with them.

The night of the first show, I ended up changing my mind completely.  Instead of going as the Gargoyle, that I had considered, I ended up deciding that I wanted to be a dead goth boy.  I bought my first bottle of nail polish....for myself, and was excited about it.  I decided that I wanted to do something totally different, and new, and bought a bottle of black paint, and a white t-shirt, which I promptly ran over (on purpose) after painting the tire of my car black.

Quickly, after changing out my hair for different hair, my costume came together.  I stenciled my tire track across my face, and then just had to wait for the ladies to finish getting ready.  After all, not only was it a costume party, with prizes (supposedly) but, it was a show night.  So, I was chauffeur to the girls.

And, for the first time, the venue was mostly empty for the show.  And, I was one of four people in costume.  Me, Pocahontas, Cleopatra, and the Gay-o-saurus.  The show, of course, as usual was great.  And, I met a couple of people Dan had gone to school with.  So, it was fun.

The next night, was the Halloween party in Ogunquit, at Mainestreet.  And, by the time we were in the mood to do anything, we didn't have the energy.  So, we stayed home.

Then, came the show at Blackstones.  Again, I was expecting a lot of people to be out in costume, even though Halloween itself wasn't until the following Thursday.  And, again, I decided to dress up a little.  I glued some demon horns to my head and decided to tattoo myself fully, using a shirt that Dan had.  One that actually got me a few people trying to figure out if they were real or not.

Again another amazing show, a fund raiser for the Dempsey Center in Lewiston.  All the usuals were there.  Shaunna Rai, Vanila Honey-Bush, and Miss E'on.

The final event for Halloween wasn't happening until after Halloween was over.  Another fund raiser for Pride.  And, at that point, I was over Halloween.  I learned a lesson though.  In the future, I'm going to pick a costume far earlier than I did this year.  I'll stick with the same costume, or change small things in it.  But, I need to NOT wait until the last minute to do so.


Who knows? Halloween is a holiday where Drag is an acceptable costume....I mean, all the jocks are dying to get into a dress...or at least they were in high school.  Maybe next year, I can take the Kathy Griffin look a step further...

I shall call her "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"

Yesterday marked a big day for me.  I bought a new car.  It's a Pontiac Vibe, 2005, white.  It's the new Dragmobile.  And, it was bought partially, with that purpose in mind.

Previous to this, I'd been thinking that I was going to buy a Mini Cooper, and I would name it Sheldon.  (Big Bang Theory fans should get the reference...)  Anyway, I need to come up with a name for the new Dragmobile...because Dragmobile just sounds...well...blah.  Yeah, kinda Batman-ish, but a car that's going to be used in part (or in full) to transport drag queens, needs a good name.  I mean, they named a bus Priscilla, Queen of the Desert... So, I've got to compete with that.

I've never been one to name my cars.  NEVER.  I never understood the appeal of it.  I never even really understood the idea of calling your car your baby.  Apparently, I've never been as fond of my cars as I should have been.

Anyway, so the idea had been in my head for a while that I needed a new car.  And, this weekend was going to be the weekend that I would take care of it.  It was a pay week.  I had a long weekend, and part of it was off with Dan.  Given that I know very little about cars, other than how to change a headlight, and a tire, and that they're expensive as hell to maintain over long periods of time...especially when they eat your tires...I needed someone who knew a little bit more about cars to go with me.  Because when I go into a car dealership, I end up being the faggy, little queer that everyone knows is a faggy, little queer, and is going to try to sell the most expensive car to.  In other words, I have a body guard/moral support person with me.

Something I learned through this experience, was that I need to learn to stop being so damned wishy-washy, and to listen to advice the first time, instead of having to hear it a hundred times before I take it in.  Since the topic of a new car became an actual topic of conversation, Dan had been telling me, "Go back to Lee. You bought a car from them already, you'll probably get a better deal from them, since YOU ALREADY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP established with them."  Instead, I decided that I needed to try something different. I was going to go with something new that I'd seen on TV.  My Maine Ride was a business out of Bangor, that offers a car, for $300 down, and $50 per week.  Sounds like a great deal.  I'd been pre-approved for a car from them.  The paperwork that I needed was minimal.  But, it was in Bangor.  A 5 hour minimum round trip.  I called them yesterday morning, about trading in my old car, and was given a "We can't guarantee that if you do bring it to trade it, you'll be approved.  But, let us take your number, and we'll see if we can approve you before you come down."  And, I never heard back from them.

So, in the meantime, I figured, "What the hell, I'll try Lee, and just see what they have."  And, of course, I fell in love with a car.  Not, in fact, the car that I ended up with.  They had a blue Jeep Cherokee Laredo, and it looked like it would be in my price range.  So, I called about it.  They were eager to help, from the minute I got on the phone, Adam answered all my questions, and encouraged me to call ahead, so that I would have someone to wait on me when I got there.  So, I did.  I got to Lee Nissan, let them know that I had an appointment with Will, and they got me started.  Along the way, Will handed me off to Scott, and, I'm kind of glad that he did.  Scott was a great guy.  Listened to everything that I needed, and showed me a car that they had just taken into inventory and cleaned, as it fit my criteria.

The car needed to be all around a bit bigger/roomier than my old car (Hyundai Elantra), it needed to have space for large purchases, like it needed to be able to hold a table, if we needed to buy one.  It needed to be higher off the ground than my current car.  And, all around, it needed to make me feel like I'd be safer driving it.  (Dan, Ryan, and anyone else who doesn't appreciate my driving, stop laughing...)  Oh yeah, and did I mention, that it needed to be able to fit, Me, a minimum of two drag queens (more if possible), and all the suitcases, hips, boobs, makeup, outfits, and hair that go along with said drag queens.  (And yes, literally, the first thought after getting into the car, and getting over the fact that the seat was still a little damp, was, yep, I can fit at least 3 drag queens in here.  One in the front, two in the back, (maybe a third, if she was tiny, or just a little person) and all their stuff in the trunk.

The test drive was great.  I've been driving a car around where the front end shakes when you go 65 or over, so, by the time I get to work every day, I feel like a milkshake.  This car doesn't do that.  And, I can see over a lot of the cars on the road...instead of looking up at them.  It was great.  I fell in love.

The paperwork, well, that was a bit of a hard time.  Things got messy, and the trade wasn't going to work.  So, we had to switch gears.  And, my Dragmobile, might be off the table of possibility.  Crap! Now what?  LUNCH.  At this point, what was going to only take an hour or two tops, was going on hour three.  We went to lunch, and I resigned myself to the idea that, I'm not getting a car today.  I spoke with credit people while I ate, gave them information, including the fact that I still apparently have a mortgage in my name, although I don't have a house title in my name...a fact that I was NOT happy about.

When we got back from lunch, we went to wait in the waiting room, and I began to get anxious.  I wanted a car, and I didn't want to wait anymore.  Scott came back, and told me he had good news, but I needed to wait a few before he'd tell me.

Good news! The car that you want, they're willing to work with us, with your price range for it, and you'll be able to get it TODAY.  The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a waiting game, and then just some paper signing.  And then she was mine! My new Dragmobile.  I shall not call her Priscilla, because, honestly, I don't really care much for the name...besides, she's not a BUS.  I could call her Lisa-Marie, because that would be a step down from Priscilla...Or Christina? Celine? Cher? Something gay...for sure.  I just haven't figured out what yet...

Play to your strengths

"She's not a very pretty queen..."
That was me, last episode of RuPaul's Drag Race: The Lost Season, of Tammie Brown.
"She isn't supposed to be.  She's not like a lot of the queens that have been on the more recent seasons.  She sings live, and does stand up.  And, she's herself."
That was Dan.

This of course, launched a conversation about characters.  And a realization that doing drag, you actually have to know yourself quite well.  Because, all of it, is about who you are.  You take the parts of you that are the best, mush them all up together, and put on the costume, and you're most of the way there.  This of course, is a condensed version of what really happens.  Because, let's face it.  You can't just throw on a pair of heels, a wig, and a dress, and have a ready made drag queen. It just doesn't work that way. And, even if it did, from what I've seen, a drag queen is a constantly shifting work of art.

There is no cookie cutter mold to form a drag queen.  What makes this person amazing may not make the next person as amazing.  Do drag queens have to be beautiful? No.  Do they have to be ugly? No.  Do they have to shave all their body hair off? No.  Some do, but others, proudly display the fact that they're a man in a dress, complete with a beard.  It's all part of a persona that they're creating.

This persona, in my mind, is the most important piece of the whole process.  Like anything, it can be a work in progress, for the entire length of the alter ego's life.  But, it's the piece that takes the most work.  The reason for doing drag in the first place may or may not be a part of the character building.  (Shaunna Rai, for example, was originally brought to life as a way to get into bars, because drag performers weren't asked to show ID's.)  Over time, she has made a name for herself, throughout the state of Maine, and into New Hampshire and Massachusetts.  She has developed a reputation as being, "a bitch," a title which she sometimes will display proudly, like in her last show, titled: "The Bitch is Back".  She doesn't mind taking the mic, but she won't sing live. From time to time, she may say bitchy things, but, generally, it's all said in fun.  Shaunna Rai is known for her drinking.  Hell, she even has a drink named after her at Blackstone's, and whatever name Mama's Cabaret is going by these days...I think it's Rumorz(?)

As I have previously established here, the outfits, the wigs, and the shoes are important as well.  And, a lot of thought goes into the outfits that get worn.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that I've gone into a place like Hot Topic, or Spencer's, and Dan has been at work, thinking about, "I could buy two pairs of these stretchy pants, and make them into a body suit." Or, walking through Marden's, looking at fringe, hearing him say, "I think I want a dress made out of that."  This is not always, but sometimes a daily occurrence.

Now that the outfit's picked out, it's time for the hair.  Which hair goes best with this outfit?  (This is the hardest for me to understand...because I think any hair looks good with anything.  But, that's why I'm not the one doing drag.) And, so, the part of the dressing process that every "husband" (drag or otherwise) dreads: "How does this look?" "Would I look better if I wore this other hair with this?" Sometimes my opinion is taken into consideration.  Sometimes, it's not.  Occasionally, the part where I have to give an opinion is skipped altogether.  (I.e.: the outfit was chosen around the hair, instead of the other way around.)


And, finally, which shoes look better?  The question I hate the most.  My stock answer, is "Those look fine."  But, then again, there's question among my gay friends if I'm really gay, because (although I have about 10 pair of shoes), I'm not very good at matching boy shoes with what I'm wearing. Hell, until last year, I didn't know that it was wrong to wear white socks with dress shoes...although, I found that out in a hurry.

Anyway.

My point here, is that while it may look to an outsider like drag is just throwing on a dress, makeup, a wig and those killer heels,it's not as easy as that.  Dan/Shaunna Rai have been asked on occasion to contribute drag wisdom to a "Drag Boot Camp" program that someone Dan knows has been trying to put in place.  While the idea is great, it relies too heavily on the idea that you can pick a queen out of a box, and every queen is going to be the same.

A question that Dan told me about what, "What 5 items should every queen have in their purse?"  Well, it depends on the queen.  I know a queen, who would carry around a rubber chicken, probably, because she uses it on stage in her act.  Shaunna Rai, on the other hand, wouldn't be caught dead with a rubber chicken...she would more than likely have a bottle of Jaegermeister, a bottle of Vodka, and some Red Bull, or have it all pre-mixed in a flask.  (Actually, more likely, she would have a pair of flip flops, a tank top and a pair of shorts, for after the show.)  Sure, hairspray, and makeup would show up in MOST purses, but not every drag queen is going to carry the same things.

Another question that he told me about was something along the lines of "where did your character/alter ego come from?"  Paraphrasing the question, I can get the point across better. How do you know who your character should be?

Let me tell you, the answer that I got when he told me about the question...wooooah....You don't create a character from a box.  You don't just get blessed by the drag fairy, and all of a sudden, you're a queen.  You have to have some idea, starting out, what you want to be.  Choose a genre: Horror, Comedy, Beauty, Musician, whatever.  Choose a character type: if you're going for comedy: Are you stand up? Are you sarcastic humor? Are you going to go for singing dirty parodies of pop songs?

Ok, so you're going for Stand up Comedy queen:  Who are you?  Is your character crazy?  Is your character a single drunk woman, who will sleep with anything with a pulse?  Are you the old lady full of one liners, like Sophia from the Golden Girls?

These are the things you need to know, in order for your character to develop.  Without a backstory for your character, you'll never have the right information for your stand up, for one.  And, by the same token, if you don't know the character, how are you going to find the right outfits?  If you're going for Mama Sophia, a lady in her 80's, more than likely, you're not going to be wearing prom gowns, or bikinis.  You're going to want to camp up the old lady purple hair, and wear the cardigans, and pants pulled up to right under your boobs.  By the same token, if you're going for the drunk single woman, you're going to want to play up the part of being drunk, and single, so you're going to dress a lot sluttier.

Anyway, my point being, drag is a learning process, throughout the lifetime of your character.  You have to have a bit of creativity, to be able to pick out what you're actually good at, and play to your strengths.  Don't try to be RuPaul, or any other queen that you've seen on tv (or in person).  Be yourself.  Know yourself well enough to know what you'll excel with.  And, bring it!  Just remember that you're the only one who will be able to bring out your inner drag queen.